Stoffiday 127 Posted December 23, 2018 Share Posted December 23, 2018 (edited) Helsinki, Finland-- In yet another lovely, heartwarming story from this offseason, Keaton Louth has finally accepted his (alleged) long-lost son, Alexander Pepper, as “not cancer.” This is the first time that Louth, a star draft prospect, has acknowledged that Pepper was “pretty okay.” and spurred on already rampant rumors that he was finally accepting his long-lost son, even though both men are about the same age. (It’s not this anchor’s job to judge.) As always, this anchor has the official, unedited conversation between the Rev. Dr. Louth, and Sargent Pepper and the Blowfish. (Louth will be referred to as L moving forward, and Pepper will be referred to as Coke.) L: Y’know, you really oughta tuck your jersey in… Coke: The hell you say to me? L: Your jersey! Can’t stop a puck and deaf as shit too? Coke: Really, ya fuckin’ duster? You’re chirpin’ the wrong guy, Lou! Random Teammate: You guys are friggin’ toxic! Shut your yaps, eh! L: You know what, Toxic is good! Keeps your Pylon ass in check, eh?! Shut the f*** up, eh?! Coke: YEA! I’m still here! L: You’re not cancer, though. Coke: That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me. I’ll take it. L: Yea..Don’t turn into Brick Wahl on me, eh? I hear that guy poke checks on and off the ice… It was at this point that a fly landed on this anchors voice recorder...causing static...and stuff.. (Loud buzzing) L: Love….son….exactly….mother….igloo? (This anchor isn’t sure what drugs they’re taking in Helsinki.) Coke: Love….dad….Accept...me....Who...am! (Nope, still no idea.) It was at this point, I saw more of Alex Pepper than I had ever planned to… The following is not a rumor, but a fact: Alexander Pepper doesn't tape his stick...interpret that as you will. Stay tuned for more from VSN! Edited December 23, 2018 by Stoffiday Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beaviss 4,955 Posted December 23, 2018 Share Posted December 23, 2018 quality news Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hedgehog337 3,480 Posted December 23, 2018 Share Posted December 23, 2018 3 minutes ago, Stoffiday said: Louth will be referred to as L moving forward hey @Beaviss diamond_ace 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beaviss 4,955 Posted December 23, 2018 Share Posted December 23, 2018 4 minutes ago, hedgehog337 said: hey @Beaviss ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nykonax 1,563 Posted December 23, 2018 Share Posted December 23, 2018 (edited) Pepper is gay. Can we get Wahl and Pepper to poke check each other Edited December 23, 2018 by Nykonax Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stoffiday 127 Posted December 23, 2018 Author Share Posted December 23, 2018 (edited) 2 hours ago, Nykonax said: Pepper is gay. Can we get Wahl and Pepper to poke check each other Not sure how you came to that conclusion, considering I was all up in his business in his locker room. Edited December 23, 2018 by Stoffiday Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Esso2264 774 Posted December 23, 2018 Share Posted December 23, 2018 Quality content Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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