Picking a random player from each team and ranking how that team would fair in the VHL

[Tagger 2,722]

 

As the title says, one random player from each team, see if it’s good enough to win. Worth pointing out that I’m writing this as I’m making the picks (E.g. I don’t know the rest of my roster when I’m writing the description for the first pick) so it might not make complete sense unless read start to finish.

 

Calgary Wranglers

 

RW - Kefka Palazzo

 

That clown from Final Fantasy VI is one of the lower TPA players on the Calgary roster but is still more than good enough to provide something for this random team. With scoring and defense at 95, he’s leaning towards being most effective at both putting the puck in the net and picking up the loose pucks that don’t find the net. While he’s not a strong passer, probably the area of most concern would be how easy he is to force off the puck in comparison to most of his VHL peers, which 83 Puck Handling and 44 Strength

 

DC Dragons

 

C – George Washington

 

Despite only being in his second season, the former president of the United States of America is a very well-rounded player and is already closing in on 700 TPA. With 99 scoring and 90 passing, he’s more than capable of playing the role of both a scorer and a distributor, and his 80 faceoffs are impressive for a young center. Like Palazzo, if there is a weakness in his game, he doesn’t yet have elite puck handling capabilities (85), but his 70 strength will help counter that to some degree.

 

New York Americans

 

RW – Ryo Yamazuki II

 

Yamazuki is very much a hybrid of the first two entries on this list, albeit weaker. Like Palazzo, he leans a lot more towards scoring than passing, however Palazzo edges him in scoring (Ryo has 90) and like Washington, he’s upped his strength to 70 to counter his lower puck handling, but his puck handling is also a bit less than Washington (Ryo has 80). Please random.org, do not give me more forwards.

 

Seattle Bears

 

RW - Jack Lynch

 

Apparently random.org does not care for people who try to sway his randomizer and dumps me with not only a forward, but the only inactive skater on the Bears roster. He’s arguably the second best at handling the puck, with the second highest skating and puck handling on those I’ve picked to this point, but he’s also only at 87 scoring, which considering his passing is at 82, means he leans more towards shooting and 87 scoring may struggle to consistently challenge the top goalies.

 

Toronto Legion

 

RW – Matthew Kai

 

Another inactive, although picking from the Legion, I guess I’m just glad I got one of the better inactives. Kai is simultaneously our most aggressive player to this point (with a whopping 58 checking) and our worst defensive player (his 78 defense is the eighth worst out of all the VHL forwards). His 78 puck handling is also very low for a VHL skater, but at least he’s got 78 strength and 86 skating to help with that deficiency.

 

Vancouver Wolves

 

RW – Jerry Wang

 

At this point, I’m starting to believe random.org has a weird fixation with 400 TPA RW’s given that this is now my fifth of those and I’ve now gotten Wang from a team where every other skater was above 600 TPA. This isn’t a knock on Wang’s activity (he is active, he’s just in the early phases of his career) but it’s crazy how, outside of Washington, everyone has been so alike thus far. Despite his TPA, Wang is actually tied with Washington as the top player in Skating to this point with 90, however his defense is the second lowest so far (85) and Wang also makes us 6/6 in players who favour scoring. Maybe a trip to the European Conference will give us what we need to compete?

 

HC Davos Dynamo

 

C – Bert Meyers

 

OK, nevermind that optimism I had for a second there, it’s Davos. Having not been active since his first VHL season, it’s pretty impressive to see Meyers at 390 TPA, however this does make him our weakest player to this point. Funnily enough, he has as much in faceoffs (80) as Washington does, which at least gives us a consistent face-off presence over multiple lines. He’s also our only player to this point who favours passing, however his 85 passing is not actually that much better than those who lean towards scoring (Washington has 90, Lynch and Kai have 82).

 

Helsinki Titans

 

D – Erik Summers

 

Holy shit, we finally got something that’s not a forward! Honestly I’d have been happy with Summers either way; his skating (90) and defense (95) ties with the best players in those categories on our team and he’s a pretty decent goal threat as well with 90 Scoring. If there’s one thing of interest is that, despite Summers being a defenseman, the team is still lacking in physicality as he only has 50 checking, but this does also mean we aren’t going to be giving any stupid penalties.

 

Malmo Nighthawks

 

D – Jerry Garcia

 

Wow, not only do I get another defenseman to help round out the roster better, but this also is the first time I’ve drawn the highest TPA player on a given team! Garcia gives us that physical edge we’d been missing with his immense 90 checking, but he’s also our new leader in skating, puck handling, passing and defense (all of which are at 99!). A first line of Garcia and Summers would at least put up a strong fight against any other VHL team, but we still really need a goalie in front of them and the window of opportunity to grab one is shrinking.

 

Moscow Menace

 

C – Jet Jaguar

 

Everything’s coming up Milhouse now as we snag our second team-leading player in TPA in a row! While he doesn’t have as many 99’s as Garcia (his lone 99 is in scoring, which ties him with Washington), he is exceptionally well rounded with six attributes over 90 and his passing sitting at a strong 88. He also becomes easily our best player at the face-off, with the second highest face-offs attribute in the VHL (only HHH has more than Jaguar’s 95) accompanied by the fourth highest strength attribute in the VHL.

 

Prague Phantoms

 

G – Brick Wahl

 

Perhaps the greatest comeback since Lazarus, after a shocking first half, the randomizer has given me a third straight team TPA leader and a goalie to boot! While this won’t be mistaken for Wahl at the peak of his ability (currently lying 6^th in Overall rating out of the VHL goalies), it’s still very much a reliable goalie that could do a more than good enough job for the team in between the sticks. Given that I’d have settled for Solomon Crawford at this point, I’m more than happy to grab the much better goalie.

 

Riga Reign

 

LW – Patrik Tallinder

 

A bit of a drop off from the last three picks as Tallinder is the second lowest player on the Reign in TPE, but he still ranks as arguably our best winger, so I can’t complain really! Tallinder’s biggest strength in regards to the rest of the roster is his puck handling, as outside of Jaguar, none of the other forwards can top or even match Tallinder’s 90 in that attribute, and he combines that with a very strong 95 scoring to make him a very credible offensive threat. However, as another forward with just 40 checking, this does mean that only Matthew Kai has any form of checking on the front line.

 

 

Final Roster

 

I’m going to treat this like as if I were the GM of the team, which means I’m able to position change anyone who hasn’t posted in a month. Given Jack Lynch made a one-off post on January 20^th, he’s saved from a position change and so I’ll be moving Matthew Kai and Bert Meyers to defensemen.

 

Forwards

LW-C-RW

Patrik Tallinder – Jet Jaguar – Jerry Wang

Kefka Palazzo – George Washington – Ryo Yamazuki II

3^rd Line Winger – Jack Lynch

 

Defensemen

Jerry Garcia – Erik Summers

Bert Meyers – Matthew Kai

 

Goalie

Brick Wahl

 

Final Verdict

 

Well thanks to our haul from the European conference, I reckon we’ve got Davos and Toronto beat at least. I don’t think though that the team is quite well rounded enough to be considered favourites though. I think the real question is could this team make the playoffs? Yes, we’ve got elite talents like Jaguar and Garcia and a solid net-minder in Wahl, but our second line of defense leaves a lot to be desired and our wingers, while developing well for the most part, aren’t quite there yet. So I’m going to give this team a rating of fringe playoff team and, if we were to make it to the playoffs, a convincing first round exit. Although then again, the playoffs in STHS are a savage beast that care not for any previous form, so basically I’m saying Simon Tremblay’s got it down for this team winning it all!

 

For 3 Weeks (Starting W/E 2/16)

[Enorama 2,039]

Second line C behind @gorlab I'm about to riot.

 

 

At least I didn't get FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY for the Stolzschweiger.

[Gustav 6,481]

35 minutes ago, Tagger said:

Perhaps the greatest comeback since Lazarus

 

Wouldn't Jesus be the greatest comeback since Lazarus?

[Victor 11,043]

On 2/14/2020 at 3:32 AM, Enorama said:

Second line C behind @gorlab I'm about to riot.

Know your place behind the best player in the league.

[Tagger 2,722]

Claiming Second Week

[Tagger 2,722]

Claiming Third Week