marshall_222

DAT. OFFENCE.

lmfao, sooooooo true.

In honour of your overlord's (that's me) birthday, everyone who likes this post gets 1 TPE.
#teepz #lovevictator #tpeinflation
 
Edit: for anyone still here, check the date. This is a decade old and is no longer valid, please don’t try.

OH MY GOD NOBODY CARES ABOUT WOLF

Well the cat is out of the bag. We are happy to welcome our Assistant GM's player, Chris Raymond to the team. It took a little bit of talking but he was worth what was paid for. Now let's continue chasing the cup.

This reads like a "how not to get things changed" holy shit

Yea mang, written by yours truly. 

#LEADERSHIP

Linholm Judged “Too Talented” for VHLM, Forced to use Broomstick
Fans of Minot were stunned and disappointed today as the VHLM Commissioners office handed down a ruling today that Linholm will no longer be allowed to carry a hockey stick onto a VHLM playing surface for the rest of the season but will instead be forced to use a broomstick. The ruling comes after a stretch where Linholm collected 9 points, including 4 goals, in his last 3 games causing opposing team to call to the commissioner and complain about his dominance. “Watching the tapes I think we can all agree that letting Linholm use a hockey stick just isn’t fair to the other players,” the VHLM commissioner explained, “for the sake of league parity and the sanity of other teams players we had to make this decision.” Linholm himself didn’t seem too perturbed about the ruling as he was seen snapping pucks off the crossbar with his broomstick at a recent Minor practice. On an unrelated note Minot winger Bruno Wolf was seen attempting to use Linholms sticks at the same practice but found himself unable to lift the puck even with the Swedes magic stick, no wonder that bum is a 3rd liner.
 

Silly Wolf that's now how you stop

Linholm Judged “Too Talented” for VHLM, Forced to use Broomstick
Fans of Minot were stunned and disappointed today as the VHLM Commissioners office handed down a ruling today that Linholm will no longer be allowed to carry a hockey stick onto a VHLM playing surface for the rest of the season but will instead be forced to use a broomstick. The ruling comes after a stretch where Linholm collected 9 points, including 4 goals, in his last 3 games causing opposing team to call to the commissioner and complain about his dominance. “Watching the tapes I think we can all agree that letting Linholm use a hockey stick just isn’t fair to the other players,” the VHLM commissioner explained, “for the sake of league parity and the sanity of other teams players we had to make this decision.” Linholm himself didn’t seem too perturbed about the ruling as he was seen snapping pucks off the crossbar with his broomstick at a recent Minor practice. On an unrelated note Minot winger Bruno Wolf was seen attempting to use Linholms sticks at the same practice but found himself unable to lift the puck even with the Swedes magic stick, no wonder that bum is a 3rd liner.
 

Silly Wolf that's now how you stop

You don't get to start your own hashtag booster thing, that just isn't kosher
 
#Linholm4ThirdLine?

Minot Success Hinges Upon Top Line
The VHLM Dispersal Draft unfolded in an extremely unpredictable fashion, which was in a way almost predictable as there was a glut of players of similar talent levels and scouts opinions player to player tended to fluctuate wildly. When the dust settled and rosters for the upcoming season began to solidify, three teams seemed to stand out above the pack. Thanks to a multitude of early picks the Yukon Rush, Turku Outlaws, and Minor Gladiators stood out as the early favourites.
 

Bruno Wolf is expected to provide offence and leadership to a young Minot team
 
The Rush elected to use the draft as a way to build a balanced roster, selecting a goaltender, a forward, and a defenceman in the first round, while Turku opted to select two defenceman early before using the rest of their picks to build a deep and talented forward group. Minot was a sort of wild card in all of this, having three picks in the first round and then having to wait quite a while before making a fourth selection. With their later picks almost certainly going to be secondary players, Minot had to make their three first rounders count as those players would comprise the core of their team and a whiff on any of them would almost certainly result in a lost season.
 
When all was said and done at the draft Minot had elected to use their three vital picks on forwards, creating a very top heavy team that lacked goaltending or a stand out defenceman. Anybody with knowledge of the game of hockey would scoff at the idea of team building around one line, after all hockey is a team game and putting all your eggs in one basket is hardly a recipe for success. However, Minot may be an exception, simply because that the amount of talent on that one line.
 

Linholm's offence saw him go 2nd overall in the VHL Draft

Bruno Wolf is the trigger man of the group. Out of Sterling Heights, Michigan, Wolf is a speed demon who is as adept at scoring as he is at throwing the body. His dangerous shot will victimize VHLM goaltenders all year and his penchant for throwing big hits will have defenceman looking over their shoulders all season. When the 7th pick rolled around for Minot there was shock and pleasant surprise that Jakob Linholm was still available. Arguably the most talented player in the draft, Linholm will do it all for Minot. He plays a two-way game while still being among the most offensively dangerous players in the VHLM. Linholm would probably challenge for the VHLM scoring title playing with a pylon and a rolled up newspaper but with Wolf and Galbraith by his side he should realistically be a favourite to lead the league in scoring. Galbraith is the third wheel on that line and brings speed and a talent for playmaking to Wolf’s scoring and Linholm’s all around dominance.
 
Although Wolf, Linholm, and Galbraith are all wingers it is expected they will be placed together for the entirety of the year. Perhaps no team in the VHLM has as much invested in three players as Minot, as the lack of depth behind them means if they aren’t scoring odds are nobody is. Minot has in essence placed all of its hopes for success on three players, but there aren’t three other players quite like Wolf, Linholm, and Galbraith in the VHLM. The top line for the Gladiators absolutely needs to score and score often or the Gladiators simply won’t go anywhere this season, the overwhelming talent that comprises that line just might be enough to overcome deficiency’s elsewhere. At the very least Gladiator games will be exciting this year as the goals should be coming fast and furious. However it remains to be seen if the firepower from line one will see the Gladiators come out on top of these track meets more often than not, only time will tell if Minots strategy of stacking one line will be successful.
 

There should be a lot of these going off in Minot this year

Lmfao, D-man and no.

I will try and make a move for your player Kachur.

Perfect strategy! And while everyone is watching you two hit each other and block each others shots I'll just sneak around and score a goal or 2

Doubligne Leaves for Toronto, Adopts 30 Cats, Abandons Them
The VHL Entry Draft concluded this week with the shocker of the draft being the selection of Anthony Doubligne Penis by somebody. But before leaving Oslo hopefully forever Anthony had one more dickish move in his toolbox. After purchasing plane tickets to Toronto, Anthony went to an Oslo area pet adoption center and adopted 30 different cats and kittens. The staff at the time rejoiced at this incredible act of generosity, not knowing that Anthony’s nature requires him to cause torment to all living creatures around him. Immediately after loading up all 30 cats in his VW Beetle he proceeded to drive around Oslo dropping them off near crowded intersections while presumably smoking illegal drugs. His actions were describe as “totally hilarious” and “literally the funniest thing he has ever done” by Doubligne. Reporters also noticed he had tattooed “#hahayolo420blazeit” across his arms and had a full mural of Chad Kroeger done on his back.
 

Did you know that Anthony Doubligne is actually French for "Worlds Biggest Dickhead"?

You still got a dope sig though!!!

Free sig for Ashton Galbraith(Oslo Storm)
 
I know they are repetitive but it's not for a PT, just for a guy with no sig