Gustav

...I think you actually have me beat, which is impressive. I might have something sitting around that I'm just not seeing with a few search terms, but the longest ones I could find from me were this one and this one, both of which did break 1,300 words but ended up 50-ish short of yours.

Imagine not jumping at the chance to play with ART VANDELAY in net. 3-0 today with a shutout

Football team - Buffalo Bills! I've been a fan all my life and I'm happy I finally get to see them be really good after decades of exactly the opposite of that. As for baseball, I tried to follow the Blue Jays for a while, but couldn't keep up with it. I love baseball as a sport but I need a good reason to love a team before I'm on board. I think it would be really funny if the Blues managed to do it after the water bottle incident, so that's who I'm going with. I have no idea because I don't follow basketball. Going to say the Warriors because they've been the team with the money and the stars and whatnot for a long time now, even though I can't say I want to see that happen. I'll also answer these because I started this and got distracted and don't want to skip over someone: It is really tight! From the outside, I'd be inclined to say London, but as London's AGM...we can't have that. Therefore, HELSINKI will miss the playoffs and we will all get to laugh at them. I'd say the Dragons make it in just based on the fact that they have a much more complete roster and should be making it in if sims go as expected. That said, Simon is Simon. It's a shame that the bottom half of the NA conference is as gutted as it is because I feel like Chicago should not be making it in this season. Baked. 1. What is your favorite kind of sauce, on any food, in any context? 2. Are you happy with what you've done this season in the VHL? Is there anything you wish you did but haven't yet? 3. What's something you did TODAY to improve yourself or make your own life better?

We're now deep into the S80s, which got me wondering a bit. As we all know, career length is now a (possible) 9 seasons rather than 8, for the first time ever (no, seriously, it's been almost 15 years). But now that we know that, how do we treat it? A self-respecting NFL fan may be able to tell you that the all-time record for rush yards in a season was set by Eric Dickerson, with a little over 2,000 yards in some season at some point. That's really impressive and should be remembered as an all-time record. That said, he set that record in a 16-game season. And before the NFL played 16 games, they played 14. In that time, the only player to ever break 2,000 yards in a season (and the all-time record holder when the schedule was lengthened) was OJ Simpson (yes, that OJ Simpson), who remains the only player to ever do it in 14 games but does not officially hold the record anymore. Today, the NFL plays 17 games in a season--so if Derrick Henry goes above Dickerson's number in the last week of next season, the league has another all-time record holder who holds said record partly because the system was set up differently. Anyway, let's say that Art Vandelay makes it up to the VHL next season, and let's further assume that I am a stat-grubbing narcissist and I am willing to do anything to make my player's numbers go up. And let's say it works really well. What if I play the last season of my career on the top team in the league, and I finish my career at, let's say, 340 wins after chasing good teams for a whole 9 seasons. Currently, that's amazing--it would put me 4th all-time in wins, and it's a mark that would put me in the Hall of Fame easily. Overall, though, that makes my record about 340-190-50. Still super impressive, and I think it's a HoF player depending on the surrounding circumstances, but 340/580 = 0.586, and when compared to Alexander Labatte's 0.650 (335/515), the "more wins = a better player" argument starts to lose its substance. The magical 300-win mark definitely won't be so magic anymore (because, think about this--300/580 = 0.517 and that hardly screams dominance). I think our nerds are capable of separating performance by era, but how do we present things like that to our noobs? Do we just ignore it and do our records like the NFL? Part of me says no, but I also think it would be hard to make the difference while still legitimizing current achievements and not making our spreadsheets cluttered. (Also I'm quite thankful for Scotty Campbell, because this probably won't ever be a problem for our scoring records)

...but thankfully I can make a graphic. It's been a long time, so don't judge. Also made with zero stocks! I try it like that from time to time and I'm not as good at it that way--but given the time since the last one, and that, I'm happy.

That would be a HUGE time commitment for the VHLM because there's so much turnover. That's not to say it can't be done, but it would be quite a bit of work. That's not to say "don't do it", just that it would take a long time for probably limited benefit.

As any top earner would, I want to have earned as much as I possibly can by the time the draft comes up. And as someone who has hated the VHLE with a violent fury since it was introduced, I wouldn't mind being above 350 TPE when the draft comes around so I can have at least an illusion of choice. But, as what I like to think is a thoughtful, reasonably intelligent, and somewhat pessimistic person, I have two questions related to this. 1. Will I get there? I think so? I'll have less than 80 to go after this week and haven't done my career tasks yet, so that will be a handful of uncapped when I get the opportunity. That, and I haven't donated yet this season. I don't always contribute to the Beketov Yacht Fund, but if I happen to find myself at 340 before the draft...why not, I guess. The only knock against me is that I haven't remembered to do fantasy every week, and that's really been paying off for some. So while I don't think I'll be THE top prospect (especially as a goaler), I'll be up there enough that I'll be a big one and I think I'll hit the "this guy can play up" mark. 2. Is it worth it? This one is much tricker to answer. Let's say I make it up and I end up being someone's backup in my rookie year, as is highly typical for anyone at my position (even for those select few as special as yours truly). I just made the jump to the big league to play a grand total of 8 games, and I'll have one more season in (heavy) depreciation as a consequence. As much as I hate to admit it, I would probably choose to stay down in the VHLE if that was all I got out of going up. Let's say I'm the starter, though--that raises a lot of interesting questions. What team am I playing for? If I'm somewhere at the bottom of the standings, chances are my stats won't be so hot. Sure, I'm playing up, but I'm effectively tanking my numbers. I normally wouldn't mind this, but since it also means taking one more depreciation hit, I really don't see that as a smart investment. I'd need some assurance that said team was going to make some moves to get better that season. If I'm the starter on a competing team--not that I think that's realistic--sure, I'll play up! I can go as far as I want with that and I'm a good enough earner to justify the late-career hit as a tradeoff for one more season with a chance at actually accomplishing something meaningful. I think this is helpful for any GM interested in drafting me. If you are, know that as long as you're competing and taking the team's success seriously, you've probably got yourself a loyal player in net!

I actually might. There's no team where I live or where I will be living, so it might be hard to keep up with, but I know the rules and it could be cool. This isn't physically possible, but I wish I could have played for myself from the player perspective. I always wondered how I was perceived as a GM because I seemed generally respected despite never winning, and knowing why would be really helpful both in this league and out of it. What if we had like...temporary TPE boosters? Young players whose builds haven't been completed yet can make an investment in a 100-TPE bonus for one season or something. It probably isn't feasible but I think it would be interesting (and would certainly lead to increased demand for money/contract talk getting interesting/probably some added level of drama). 1. With the VHLE and the introduction of hybrid attributes being two HUGE changes over the past few seasons, what's next? Don't be afraid to get wild with it. 2. What's your useless talent? 3. Doctor Strange is out! Marvel movies can be somewhat polarizing--what are your thoughts on them in general?

We really played 4:24 of overtime without a shot on goal and won it on that shot in Game 270

I had an article started, but it's long and I don't feel like spending the 2 hours I have left to write for this week on it. Instead, I think I'm just going to drop some general thoughts on league happenings, like a .com article but wordier--and I guess I'm not bad at making things wordy, so this should be easy. First off, I guess we'll talk about my player, because that's prime article material for anyone. I think STHS is finally starting to regress Vandelay to the mean. I don't exactly have my stats tracked from last week to this one, but the sim results no longer have me dominating in net. Sure, Miami is still doing well, but pretty much every sim since my last "Vandelay is doing so great" article has gone as expected with regards to which team wins the game based on shot totals. In fact, we even lost a game we should have won, where both of the first two stars were bot players from Philly. I can't be at all disappointed by my own performance this season, but if we're really going to make things happen in the playoffs, I need to keep it going and it's not the greatest sign that I'm currently not. Second, we'll go to BoG stuff, since that's my only official form of league involvement since leaving the GM world. I'll say that not a ton has happened since the meta talk concluded and hybrid attributes were implemented, but I'll also say that the ball has started to roll again on a few old threads. If what I think is going to happen does indeed happen, we'll see a small handful of changes this coming offseason, all of which I think will make the league a better place. No, it's nothing as earth-shattering as hybrid attributes or a third league (both projects that took months of discussion to reach a conclusion), but at least two things I can think of are things from a while back that received some level of support when they were brought up in public. Third, I guess? I don't know what my word count is, but it doesn't look like 500 yet. I'm wondering how to spend the coming week, as I effectively have it off (minus a work day or two) before I graduate. Has anyone ever taken a staycation? I feel like it would be wrong of me to sit in my house doing nothing all week (and even if that's the wrong wording, I'd be really bored if I did that). I'm aware that this is the biggest first-world problem ever, but I honestly don't like it when I have a great deal of free time. I wasn't like this until this year, but I think student me successfully conditioned regular me to always be concerned about what to do and to freak out and think poorly of myself when I'm not doing something. Maybe that's just a part of being a 20-something, though--it's the time of my life when I should be doing everything I can handle, right? Might as well. So that's that. I hate to be the guy to write a lazy media spot, but I'm feeling a bit lazy and I also think I've been good for enough non-lazy media spots for one to slip through the cracks every now and then. Besides, some of you apparently like my stream-of-consciousness stuff, so have fun with this one.

Mods did something authoritative so I am legally obligated to hate it. Sorry not sorry

Well, I've made it! I still have a paper to write, but writing is easy, my projects are finished, and today I walked out of my last-ever undergraduate class. So, minus something that will take a few hours and nothing more of my free time this weekend, I've earned my degree and I'm looking forward to what's probably my last summer vacation for the next 45 years or so. I'm debating how much VHL I want to get in over the summer. 19-year-old me would have seen this as a reason to do nothing but, and I'm sure 19-year-old me would have made (and did make) one hell of a VHLM GM and content creator over that time. Current me, not so much--I want to pursue my hobbies, connect with people, and just have fun, and that's not something that necessarily involves hunching over my keyboard for hours a day. I don't think that will mean anything for my earning--again, writing is easy--but I've written a lot about how I don't live here as much as I used to and I think that's perfectly OK. On a completely unrelated note, Vandelay is absolutely tearing it up this season. Last sim for Miami was a great big 4-0, and in at least two of the games (and maybe three if I remember correctly), we got outshot and won anyway. @Ledge made the good point the other day that our performance in the regular season likely won't hold up in the playoffs because of the double-shift rule (which I still hate, by the way) and that we could use some depth. I agree with that...so if you're a new player out there looking for a team, I've got the team for you!

Huge outperform. It's not a stretch to say that Vandelay is the VHLM's best goaltender right now. Probably Moscow, but I think it could be better. A good--and I will reiterate good, not bad--cheesecake. Made well, it's magical. 1. What's your favorite "type" of food by region (ex. Italian, Indian, Ethiopian)? 2. What is/was your least favorite class in school and why? 3. What advice would you give to someone who is anxious about giving presentations?

Leafs-Lightning. A tied series with amazing meme potential either way. I'm obligated to hate the Leafs, though. As a member of big lake gang, I'm in big lake gang. I'd say ocean, but I feel like living there all the time would take away from how special it feels from the outside. Definitely a cup. I've never won one and I'd love to at some point! 1. What's the last real-life goal you achieved? Why should I be proud of you for it? 2. What's the funniest joke you know? 3. What would you give up for the rest of your life if you had to pick one--using the Internet, or going anywhere on any sort of automobile (car, bus, train, etc.)?

Well, it's 1:00 AM on a Sunday, and I haven't done anything to earn this week. And for the first time since February of 2019, way back when I first joined, I will not be earning 12 TPE. And that is perfectly fine. I guess I could try to shoehorn an old media spot claim into the mix, as I had my mock draft written in the middle of some multi-claim, but I don't want to try to annoy the updaters (who are probably sleeping AS ALWAYS) about that and I don't want to lose out on half my TPE for the week because of it. So, I'm going to throw in the towel and only pick up 6, or 8, or 10...whatever I feel like earning tonight. This week has been hectic--not even two hours ago, I finished the most important group project for the most important class of my entire degree program. Our paper was 60 pages in total, and designed a full layout of a chemical plant! I won't bore you with the details, but I will say this--this semester and this year would have been the worst experience of my life if I ended up working with people I didn't like. Instead, it's likely been the best! Which, at this point, is somewhat sad--with the end of the project and the end of college comes the realization that I'm just a couple weeks away from never again being able to see some of my closest friends as often as I do. But, I have to realize one thing, which comes from quite possibly my favorite quote ever, by the ever-great Winnie the Pooh: "How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard." Which, in an admittedly far less meaningful way, applies to my earning streak as well. So, it's been real, but I have to go to sleep and present some stuff tomorrow. Gustav out!

A couple questions: Do you want to rebrand yourself? What does that mean to you? Some weigh-ins on both: 1) If you want to, go for it. If you don't, don't. Plain and simple. I think too many people in this league are constantly seeking validation when you should just do what makes you happy regardless of what others might think. Do what you want regardless of what the poll says. 2) "Rebranding" means more than just changing your name (at least, in the sense that I think you would mean it). Would new-name you bring exactly the same controversy as old-name you? If so, changing the name is worthless because it doesn't change anything else. Do you mean that you would revisit your approach to the community with a name change? That would be something meaningful to consider. Also--do you think you would necessarily have to change your name to accomplish that? I really don't know you and don't have an opinion here, but just a couple things to consider as I feel like you could use a good thought process.

How do you live with yourself?

VANDELAY BABY

Both. I did something similar in my first summer in the league (2019), when I had literally nothing better to do than sit around and write articles. The amount of 2,000 word media spots I wrote when I had weeks saved up from others (I wrote some huge articles that I didn't even claim!) was unreal. I look back on that now and I don't think I could ever go back to that. A snobbier version of myself would chalk that up to "getting a life", but I stopped doing that long before I got a life. I think it's more that I eventually reached a point where I was happy with who and where I was in the community. That, and it eventually gets harder to come up with unique topics every week. It took me a long time to get to that point, but here we are.

I have absolutely no idea. I heard the Avs were really good this year, so let's go with them. Probably also the Avs. They were my team back when I was in a playoff pool once and got knocked out right away. I have a lot that's exciting. I'm going to be moving to a new place, going to get myself some hobbies, and hopefully get myself some new friends! Aside from that, not really...I wish I did though. Maybe I'll pay a visit to friends of mine who either are or are going to be living in new places themselves. 1. What's your best VHL memory? 2. What's something that you're working at in your own life? How is it coming along? 3. What's your favorite song in a style that you don't usually like?

Congrats! You get to see me talk about funk, and not in the context of music. Let's get something straight: numbers have been super screwy the past few seasons. And they're screwy again this season, though in the complete opposite direction, as we try to figure things out. Originally, we over in the Board of Gustav thought that it would be best to leave goaler attributes and update scales and all that good stuff as is, and hope that it would work out just fine and dandy with the skater stuff changing. Unfortunately, it hasn't worked out super fine and dandy--though I'd easily prefer the current state of affairs to the former one, there's no denying that goaler numbers are through the roof and that some sort of counter-adjustment will probably be necessary (especially in the VHLM, where a certain Art Vandelay happens to be tearing it up for Miami). So, yes, we've seen vast improvements in goaler performance across the board (and vast drop-offs in scoring across the board), because of the changes that were made in the offseason. Which raises an important question. If we only look at numbers and cast all other factors aside, the player who improves the most this season will very likely be a goaler. Does that player deserve to win the Dustin Funk (most improved) Trophy? It's an interesting debate. If you say yes, your reasoning is likely based on the numbers. Someone jumping from the .900s to the .930s is pretty darn impressive and will certainly make sense 20 seasons from now on the portal. Besides, goalers have kind of been screwed over the past few seasons and it would be nice to symbolically mark the end of that (and show that the anti-meta efforts have paid off) with an award. But if your answer is no, you likely believe that goaler numbers have been artificially inflated in the same way as the skater numbers were. Also, you might be able to find a skater who's legitimately improved despite the meta changes, and that's pretty impressive too. My answer is no. I don't think I feel comfortable burying any consideration of number inflation this season, unless there are truly no deserving skater candidates. What do you think?

Week 4

BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL