Gustav

It was fun to be in Miami this season! I know we didn't win it all, but the team (and my own player!) exceeded my expectations. You also deserve a lot of credit as an AGM--a big part of why I stayed locker-room-active this season was the energy you brought into our server. I think that's a really underrated part of being in management, and it's incredibly important for the VHLM.

Art Vandelay

To preface/clarify a bit: I'm not at all a sig master, so excuse me if what I'm saying makes me sound like an idiot. If I had to guess I'd say that "newer style" is a bit less focused on brushing for the lighting--a lot of what I see (and a lot of what I've done) tends to rely on the stocks themselves for lighting, with more of an emphasis placed on making the player fit in with the stocks and the background used rather than creating light, more than just making brighter/darker parts of the sig. For example, probably the best sig I made before I stopped for a very long time is this, and the lighting is still off (excuse the awful text): Basically, what I'm saying is that your background/all the stuff around your player IS the light source, while in mine the light source is just assumed to be somewhere else off screen. I don't have the experience to back it up, but I feel like I've seen that a lot more in older members' work (as well as in a lot of sigs that get dragged up from years ago). And there's nothing I see as significantly better or worse about either way, but the "old way" is something I have no idea how to do (though now I guess I'll have to try it!)

Any self-respecting Bills fan should know of the ESPN-produced Four Falls of Buffalo, which recounts the story of how the team made--okay, lost, but still made--four Super Bowls in a row way back in the '90s, the only team in NFL history to do so. Yes, this has happened in the VHL as well--the New York Americans lost four straight finals matchups between S25 and S28 and were notably likened to the Bills for it. What isn't as well-known, though, or as well-publicized, is that a team making the finals four times in a row has happened five times since: S36-39 Davos, S48-51 Toronto, S54-57 Quebec (Vancouver), S64-67 Helsinki, and now S80-83 Moscow. The first four all managed to get out of their four-final run with at least one championship, but Moscow so far has not. If they lose this time around, they will be the second team ever to pull a Jim Kelly. So, what's going to happen? Four finals in a row is a huge accomplishment, something that the documentary I mentioned makes clear. In short, Moscow is headed down the Niagara River--will they make their way out, or will they too go over the Falls? And could we see a record-breaking fifth straight appearance in S84? Drop your hot takes below!

Week 2

NY. Normally I'd be neutral but after the cap thing going down I don't want Tampa getting another chance. Why, Vandelay Industries, of course! Oh no, you've gotten me started on music... I find it really hard to compare albums across different genres, and I don't know if I have a single favorite. My profile picture is King Crimson's In the Court of the Crimson King (absolute masterpiece!), but if I have to pick one... My opinion probably changes every time I try to think about it (and I had to stop myself from writing up a huge list of things that came to mind), but a special place in my heart will always be reserved for Herbie Hancock's Head Hunters. I'm one of those weirdos who still occasionally buys CDs, and I bought this at the bookstore in 2020 just a couple days before everything shut down. It was the last time I went somewhere for fun for a very long time, and it was also my last "something new" for that very long time. I ended up loving it and listening to it just about every day for a couple months to keep me sane while I was stuck in my house--and it's still just as good now as it was then. It also helped get me seriously into jazz, which was only kind of true before that point. 1. (If you see this before finals are over) do you want Seattle or Moscow to win? (If finals are over) what did you think of the finals? Was it everything you hoped it would be? 2. What is your least favorite movie of all time? 3. What's your favorite thing you own that doesn't cost a lot of money?

FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY

Or, rather, where in the world will Art Vandelay be? It's an interesting question that doesn't have a very clear answer. To date, I have only received one draft interview (you know who you are!) and I'm not confident that many teams have me high on their boards (purely by virtue of my position, I hope). I'm currently sitting at 5th in the draft class, helped not at all by the facts that I only earned about 9 capped one week and that I haven't done fantasy every time it's been posted (and apparently that's been quite valuable this season). After this week of earning, I think I can jump my way up to 4th with a doubles week and the completion of everything else I have to do or want to do, not that that makes a difference to anyone. I probably will fall a bit in the draft because I'm a goaler, and I'm interested in finding out whether 7th will remain the highest I've ever been selected because that's about where I'd put the over/under on my selection. I think it's safe-ish to say that a team picking Vandelay is likely picking their franchise goaltender. But who even wants that in this day and age? There's less than one would think. The "Has a Really Young, Really High-Earning Goaler and Will Not Care" Tier: DC Dragons (notable current players/prospects: Bubbles Utonium | S82 | 625 TPA) DC might as well tell me they never want to see me play for them. Not only is Utonium a player, they're also the AGM! Moving right along. London United (Cole Pearce | S82 | 686 TPA) Not happening. Pearce is even higher in TPA than Utonium, and London even has a backup coming onto their roster next season in Ed Nu. Even without knowing who the new GM will be, this is a safe conclusion. Not to mention that they don't even have a 1st! Vancouver Wolves (Brandt Fuhr | S83 | 537 TPA) This is the only position Vancouver doesn't need right now. Fuhr will have it locked down for the foreseeable future. Warsaw Predators (Wumbo | S82 | 530 TPA) Just a little bit separates Wumbo from Ben Dahl (see below), but I've chosen to put Warsaw up here rather than down there because Wumbo does have that little bit, after all, and flyersfan is a very well-established member of the league. Though Wumbo doesn't project to be a top-tier player, you don't need a top-tier player in net to succeed and Warsaw has nothing to worry about. The "Has a Usable Goaler but Might Consider Replacement If They're Insane or Planning Something Unexpected" Tier: Calgary Wranglers (Ben Dahl | S82 | 504 TPA) Derphorse alert! No, I will not stop using that emoji as long as it continues to be made available to me. I debated whether to put them in the high-earning goaler category, because Dahl is good enough, in my opinion, to serve a purpose for a good while. Though I wouldn't be thrilled with this plan myself, Calgary might find it a viable strategy to pick Vandelay with London's 1st, keep Dahl in net for a couple seasons, and ship him or Vandelay elsewhere once a spot opens up elsewhere. Overall, I find it unlikely, but the remote possibility moves the Wranglers out of the top. Helsinki Titans (Xavier Booberry | S80 | 1101 TPA) Do I think this is going to happen? Not really. Booberry still has half a career left and has racked up an impressive amount of earning in that time. I don't think Helsinki ever plans to trade him away, but if they do, they might do the same "wait a couple seasons and trade one or the other" thing I mentioned with Calgary that I wouldn't particularly enjoy being a part of but which I would at least understand. They have a huge prospect pool everywhere else, but not in net--and if you want someone in net, I know a guy. Moscow Menace (Papa Emeritus | S79 | 1000 TPA / Leroy Johnson | S78 | 402 TPA) Three more seasons of the commissioner in net means that there will eventually have to be a plan beyond that. While I don't think he's getting traded away anytime soon, Moscow has struggled with cap issues as of late and a rookie contract in net would be quite refreshing. Granted, any plan involving Vandelay to Moscow involves at least one season's time between the draft and a starting role, but if he somehow slips to the Menace's late 1st, they might have the possibility in mind for a few seconds. New York Americans (Augustus Kennedy | S83 | 400 TPA) This one is interesting because Kennedy is a young player and there's no reason for New York to pick Vandelay if they intend to keep Kennedy around. That said, Kennedy is LA's GM...and LA (see below) really needs a goaler. For a rebuilding team like LA, a trade for Kennedy would involve less investment than picking a goaler high, and it would give them someone guaranteed to be loyal for an entire career. And for New York? There should be a decent return involved that makes the deal potentially worth it. If they decide they want Vandelay in the draft, it's doable and could present a win-win situation for both teams. Prague Phantoms (David Davis | S80 | 859 TPA) Basically, see Helsinki and Moscow above. I don't think this is going to happen at all, especially given that Prague has more of a need for prospects who are skaters and there's even less of a reason to invest in Vandelay and try to move out Davis next season than there might be for someone like Booberry and Emeritus. If they're crazy, though, I've applied the same standard to them with respect to the goaler situation. Seattle Bears (Em Em Flex | S79 | 660 TPA / Dusty Wilson | S82 | 400 TPA) I debated putting Seattle in the "needs a goaler" category, but I think they qualify as "usable" for now. Em Em Flex has some recognition to his name, but he's S79, on welfare, and will spend the next few seasons regressing to mid-tier, while Wilson doesn't do quite enough at the moment to qualify as a true #1 in the future. Seattle has a 1st and could conceivably use it on a goaler, but they'll likely go other directions with their pick. Toronto Legion (Oskar Lindbergh | S80 | 895 TPA) Will this happen? No. Basically, read Prague's entry--I don't think Lindbergh will be going anywhere, but I put other teams in similar situations here and here is where Toronto will go too. The "Needs a Goaler but Doesn't Have a 1st" Tier: Chicago Phoenix (Aike van Giersbergen | S78 | 428 TPA / Freddy Freeze | S82 | 277 TPA) It's pretty obvious that the Phoenix could use someone in net, with Freeze not developing as quickly as a GM would hope. That said, they're left without a pick until the third round of the upcoming draft. Would they trade into this draft to pick up Vandelay? If he slips really far, maybe, but I kind of doubt that--Jeff recently recreated as a goaler and I think that might be this team's plan with next season's 1st. Malmo Nighthawks (Thomas Price | S81 | 368 TPA) Outside of Price, Malmo has no one--and that's not a situation anyone wants to be in. If they had a solid 1st-round pick, they would be perfectly in line (and reasonably likely) to draft Vandelay, but that currently isn't happening. If they trade up--which could be sensible depending on team plans--they might be in the running, but as of now that remains an "if". The "Needs a Goaler and Has a 1st" Tier: HC Davos Dynamo (Boris Tsezar | S81 | 434 TPA / Red Gaming | S82 | 385 TPA) Davos has used up a lot of its draft capital on goalers, currently having 4 in the system, but Vandelay would be a significant upgrade from any of them. On top of that, they've also got three picks in the first round and could conceivably pick up Vandelay with one of them while also satisfying needs elsewhere. If I had to pick one team as "most likely", this might be it--and I'm not just saying that as their former GM. Los Angeles Stars (Tater Tot | S76 | 476 TPA / Cory Evans | S83 | 191 TPA) Coming in as Davos' main competition is LA, who's in even more dire need of a goaler and has two first-round picks to deal with. Though they likely won't use a super top pick to go for Vandelay, they could burn their second one (which, being presumably Vancouver's, wouldn't be all that far behind). Either pick would be a bit of a reach, but there's currently no answer in net and a reach might actually be worth it in this case. Or, we could see the Stars trade down with a team in need of a skater--either they've got Vandelay at a lower spot or they've got Clueless Wallob, who's arguably just as good! Riga Reign (Tobias Reinhart | S78 | 542 TPA / Shaun Young | S82 | 286 TPA) This is far less likely than Davos and LA, but Riga certainly matches the criteria specified. Reinhart will need to be replaced soon, and Young won't do the trick unless his earning steps up. Overall, I think Riga's chances at landing Vandelay aren't the greatest (especially considering no picks in S85), but it would at least be a sensible choice that would set them up well for the future. Overall, I think it's between Davos and LA (and Wallob likely goes to the other one or to Riga if something like my hypothetical Kennedy trade doesn't go through). We'll see what happens on draft night--have I called it? 1,620 words | 3 weeks

I'm going to preface this by saying that what I'm about to say is likely not as serious as it's going to be made out to be. I'm going to state what's going on, but I think it's more interesting than concerning. TL;DR: 9-season careers are going to make the good teams good and the bad teams bad for longer. My first reason for this is that when a team blows up lately, they really blow up. We've seen some rebuilds start since the whole TPE thing went out the window (think New York, LA, Vancouver, and the like), and we've also had some rebuilds sort of finish up over the past couple seasons (namely Helsinki, who should have been a playoff team but wasn't). In the past, a rebuilding team could at least ice a 6-4-2 lineup, or something close to it, if they tried (as I did twice as Davos GM). Whether it's for lack of trying, or lack of players, or the presence of the VHLE (I'd put my money on the latter), teams just aren't putting players on the ice in the same way they used to. LA ran 5-1-1 this season, New York 5-2-1, and Davos 4-3-1, and it's going to be hard to fill all of those spots (and more, to compensate for inactives, barely-actives, and old players) with contributing, active members. And though we can try to deny this all we want, the VHLE being another hurdle in a prospect's development will hurt prospect development on some level. Second (and probably more important and relevant) is the fact that a player with one more season will be valuable for that one more season. "But Gustav," you might say, "no shit!" Let's think about this for a second. Under the 8-season format, a max-earning player would usually take about 4 full seasons to cap out a build, stopping at around the begging of their fifth season and bringing a complete build to the ice for their last 4. Now? A max-earning player who stops at the beginning of their fifth season will have a complete build for 5 seasons, and even if the new strategy becomes banking at the start of the sixth, that's a pretty darn good (and close to capped out) build in the fifth season and still a complete one moving forward. Thus, the potential worth of a player is greater. Good teams who already have players that can do this for them are in a great spot--if they have to sell off a player to meet the cap or to keep competing or whatever, that could end up being a big return (which, in turn, would mean that teams trying to be good have to spend more to get there). Potentially, the market will adjust itself, but I can see "yeah, he's going into his 7th season, but now that means he has 3 left" being part of a lot of trade talks in the near future. And if the GMs of good teams feel like being assholes? Who knows, they could end up controlling the trade market for some time. That's not even mentioning the fact that a player the team chooses to keep will now have one more good season from that player to work with. Do I actually think we're going to be trapped in an endless cycle of Moscow and Seattle dominating the standings? No. What I do think, though, is that rebuilds are going to be a little harder than they used to be--and a team that does it well deserves credit.

ID: 1XY10260AU964953A $1M cash 5 uncapped Doubles Week (claiming all for week ending 6/5)

I'm certainly jealous because if I take a month off from sigs they go way downhill (and I've done much more than a month off lately)... Whenever someone comes back, or when I see older sigs in general, I feel like the style has evolved over time and what we've done to make sigs over the past few years is way different from how it used to be done. I'm wondering if you could give me any insight on what you did to blend the background in with your render and how you got the lighting to work the way it does--I certainly couldn't pull off either with what I know!

It's June, it's the offseason (at least for some of us), and it's finally the time when Gustav has time. And being that as it is, it's time to take a look at the VHLM career of Art Vandelay and what VHL GMs have to look forward to with their future netminder. VHLM Career S82 (OTT): 4-0-0 | 0.875 SV% | 2.94 GAA | 0 SO S83 (MIA): 48-17-7 | 0.924 SV% | 1.88 GAA | 11 SO Total: 52-17-7 | 0.922 SV% | 1.94 GAA | 11 SO Anyone paying attention to VHLM-related discourse this season knows (or should know) all about Vandelay's performance since he entered the league last season. Initially impressing in Ottawa, he rose to prominence in Miami, ranking first in both wins and shutouts and second in SV% in the minors this season. These are stats that show huge promise for the VHLE (or the VHL!) next season, and a team that needs someone in net would do quite well to go for him in the draft. Starting every game for Miami, he's proven that he can maintain a heavy workload and keep up a solid performance for as long as any team needs it. Strengths Hand Speed: Anyone familiar with Vandelay's background in juggling should be familiar with this attribute as his gateway into hockey. His glove hand is the fastest part of his body (and he's done more than just juggling with it!) and that side of the net is virtually impassable on a good day. Rebound Control: Though it's a logical conclusion that good use of the glove would lead to fewer rebounds, his experience in controlling the puck is deepened by his experience in controlling a baseball as a catcher. Stopping the ball from going in crazy directions is imperative to good defensive baseball, and hockey goes the same way. Weaknesses Size: Vandelay is what's known today as a "short king" at only 5'6". Though he's managed to use it quite well, there will always be moments where that isn't enough. It's not clear how much of a downside this presents to VHL GMs, and only time will tell if he's able to overcome it at the big level. Style Control: Some pre-draft psychologists have expressed concern about Vandelay's past--working all over the place, he's been unable to keep full control over his own life at times. In turn, he's been known to approach different shots in different ways. It's a tactic that can go either way--though it's unpredictable to shooters, it might be hard to keep in line for the goaler.

Vandelay reflects upon his life, during the summer that changed it. Art Vandelay was like any other perfectly normal New York kid. He loved the Yankees, hung out at the local café, and dreamed of a career in architecture. Professional hockey wasn't even a consideration, until one day years later when his mother took a nasty fall at home. By this time, Vandelay was 33 years old and working as an importer-exporter. His life was flipped upside down as he left work to care for his mother--a shift that led to him sitting in the hospital for extended periods of time away from the daily grind. With his mind off work, he started to realize that he had lived his whole life out of shape. "It was at that moment that it hit me," he says. "I had to stop treating my body like it was an amusement park." He started off slow, as he had to when much of his life was taken up by sitting down. There wasn't much lifting that could be done in a hospital, so he started off by juggling. "I felt that I already had pretty good hand speed, so I thought, 'why not improve my coordination as well?' I was right about the first part and did a lot to build up the second within just a couple weeks," Vandelay revealed about his start. "It's different from what I'd ever done with my hands before, and the skills I picked up over that time even won me a bet or two." At first, Vandelay simply returned to his job with a new hobby. After a messy breakup with his then-girlfriend, though ("I noticed one day that she had heterochromia! What kind of insecure individual doesn't understand that they are going to be faced with questions about that?"), he needed something to do to pass the time and joined a recreational hockey league after seeing a flyer posted at the community pool. Taking his juggling skills to the net, Vandelay found that he was a natural and quickly branched out, finding more competitive leagues and training in a more formal context. After finishing one short season at a .940 SV%, he soon found himself trying to walk into the Rangers' training camp--and though he didn't make the cut there, he made connections. It wasn't long before he landed a mid-season backup role with the Ottawa Lynx, making appearances in 4 games and winning them all. And though S83 didn't end in a championship, it did end in a great deal of growth and success, as Vandelay put up a .924 SV% and a 1.88 GAA en route to top-tier prospect status. It remains to be seen what will happen with Vandelay's big-league career, but his rapid growth and minor-league domination point to a promising and intriguing future.

Think about how easy this would be to cheese by just swapping 4ths with everyone else until you hit the 5-trade mark. Also--already having built a good team is noteworthy by itself. I don't see how making a lot of trades every season is inherently better than not (unless the team is just spiraling out of control and the GM is doing nothing about it).

JAZZ. I love jazz! There are so many different sides to it. I like that it's both complex and listenable (most of the time) as well. I've been to DC a handful of times and really liked it, so I'll go with that. I'd definitely be concerned about traffic, so I'd have to work out something that's manageable in that regard. sad Sabres noises No I have not. Maybe one day we'll make the playoffs at least... 1. Would you rather put up good numbers on a team with a bad locker room or bad numbers on a team with a good one? 2. What's your favorite video on the Internet? 3. Who would you want as GM of your team if your GM stepped down?

You're one of a small handful of people who doesn't regret me showing them that. I hope you know the words at this point because I can't be the only one.

We live in a society

I wonder what the record is for longest GM/AGM tenure. If we don't have it we'll have to set it

I TAKE IT BACK

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances. It is THEME WEEK, and as such, my FREEDOM OF SPEECH has ONCE AGAIN BEEN ABRIDGED by something I don't care to do but have to anyway if I want a doubles week. And I'm a sucker for a good doubles week, so I will once again suck it up and get stepped on by Big Media Spot. Also--this thread will forever be one of the greatest positive moments of mutual appreciation in this league, and this week will never beat it. There's something special about getting together to say nice things about each other without being COERCED by the BIG MAN IN CORPORATE. Anyway. ...in no particular order! @Berocka - I know I've mentioned your name in a few of these posts, but I don't think I've been closer to anyone in a sim league than you (and that says something big). It's now been over three whole years since you joined the league, and you've been with me in some respect for most of it, whether it's as a player, an AGM, or both. I don't know how one can put up with being made fun of as much as I chose to make fun of you for a while and still enjoy the company of the bully, but I'm not complaining--sometimes I feel weird that I was as much of an asshole as I was at one point, but I think it's a great thing that you were able to see past that and find a lonely college kid who really just wanted someone to talk to. I think I've seen the real side of you (and vice versa), and you're going to be an amazing dad. @Spartan, @Doomsday, and @thadthrasher - Probably more than anyone else, you've taken an interest in how I'm doing in life and what's going on. I know I'm not always one to reach out, but rest assured that I appreciate it when you do. Add that to the fact that you're great members of the league otherwise, and I think you should be really proud of who you are--I hope you're just as amazing in real life as you are online. @fonziGG, @Dom, and @fromtheinside - There are others for sure, but you two came to mind right away when I tried to think of other people I can reason with behind the scenes. That doesn't (and shouldn't) mean that we always agree on every little thing, but I feel that my point of view is sincerely read and understood with you. And yes, I could probably ping most of the BoG, but I figured I'd stop at a few. @Dil, @samx, @Zack, @a_Ferk, @Arce, @N0HBDY, @jacobcarson877, and I'm sure I'm forgetting many others - thank you for being an absolute joy to interact with on Discord. A lot of the time, I'll write off the league server as an annoying place, but you remind me that there's more to it than that. @Renomitsu - I've seen you pop in a couple times lately, so I'm sure you'll see this at some point. You've always been one of my favorite members of any league, and along with being reasonable and interesting and really smart, you've never been anything other than nice to me (even though, given how busy your life is, I'm sure there are days when you don't feel like it). @NSG - I know we don't really interact much outside of the forums, but the energy you bring to your posts and replies is what the world needs. I don't read as many articles as I used to, but I try to pop into yours when I see them because I know they're going to be interesting. @Devise - Thanks for keeping Town of Whatever going lately! With school wrapping up, I didn't have a ton of motivation to do it myself over the past however-much-time, so I really appreciate you stepping in and even going so far as creating your own game. I know I haven't played it yet, but it seems like a fun time! @Garsh, @Baozi, @frescoelmo, @JeffD, @ajwllmsn, and I'm sure some others - thank you for disagreeing with me on one thing or another at some point. The league should never be an echo chamber and I never want to be the one screaming loud enough that others feel afraid to talk. It's also really healthy to consider other viewpoints, and the fact that I'm on good terms with all of you says something about our community's ability to forgive, forget, and accept. @Quik, @bigAL, @Radcow, @enigmatic, @Cxsquared, @Blazzer, @Brrbisbrr, and so many others who are no longer active and currently escape my mind - I MISS YOU! I hope you see this ping at some point and know that someone here thought of you and placed you in the category of "cool people". I'd love to see you back in it at some point--and even if not, please hit me up and let me know how you're doing. To anyone else I forgot to ping who appreciates me on some level - thank you for that. Ironically, if you feel left out, that means a lot to me. And to anyone else - thank you for being you regardless.

Check this out! I've known the song for a while, but had no idea he performed it all at once like this. As a musician, this is INCREDIBLE and I have no idea how he does it:

EXPLAIN THIS SATANIST

ARE YOU REALLY CONSIDERING TAKING HALVAR TORBJORN TO A TEAM THAT DOESN'T LIKE PEOPLE WITH NAMES LIKE HALVAR TORBJORN?

I'm a pretty fast writer when I'm able to concentrate and I have a problem with long sentences. It usually takes me at least 300 words to get my point across completely in a .com article (even a "short" one), so I never pay attention to the word count I came across a big handful of articles of mine that started as short ideas and ended up being 900-some words, so that's about what happens when I do what you're probably thinking of. I knew the draft analysis one was going to be long because I modeled it after a similarly long media spot, but the other one I don't really remember writing so I don't know what the deal was there.