RJMW

Turn me up turn me up turn me up

One more ticket please

One entry please

Malmo Nighthawks forward Ronald MacWallace was spotted late last night celebrating Malmo's most recent home win versus Helsinki. He was gathered with a group of Malmo supporters who were dancing down a main street and he didn't seem to mind the cold weather. Even later in the night, he was seen in Bulltoftaparken "causing a disturbance" according to our source. We were able to reach him this morning for comment... "Yeah, I was feelin' canty with the win so I wanted to celebrate. Found a great crew of fans and they showed me some of the best spots downtown. Then like any normal person I wanted to go sledding in the snow so they took me to a park. As for makin' a ruckus, there's no way I was makin' a ruckus, only thing I might've annoyed was the birds. It was a fun night I'd do it again. Should take the rest ah the lads with me next time!"

ANSWERS 1. My VHL career is just getting started but I'd say Toronto so I can get the @Dadam30team up. 2. The GOAT @Masu Chan robbed of their team too soon 3. Some of the ideas I liked were more focused on user retention, keeping LRs more active and altering point tasks, not to get into it too much here but some LRs are a lot more quiet than others... QUESTIONS 1. What is an easy recipe that you love to make for dinner? Or that you love when someone else makes. 2. Do you have a newer TV show that you've been watching recently? Or maybe a book? 3. Who do you think is an underrated player in the NHL this season?

Sick graphic for a sick player

November 2027 4 years post Recruitment Theme Week. The population of the VHL flooded in Season 95 following the most successful recruitment drive ever using ideas generated from a now notorious theme week. A week the older VHL members refer to as when fun died. The VHL is now a dominating global entity. Their control is only bounded by Earth's atmosphere. Gone are governments, only the VHL remains. With longtime Commissioner Beketov at the helm of control, head of recruitment Zetterberg is his second in command. Members worldwide have taken TPE gain away from the forums and into the real world. People everywhere battle for their spot at the top of the weekly leaderboard. Following the AI wave of 2024, the VHL BOG made drastic changes to how TPE gain works. 2 years since and there are no more articles to write or graphics to edit. Now the general population earns their keep through completing social services. +2 TPE for trash clean up. +6 TPE for turning in traitors of the League. The recruitment team is stronger than ever, producing and hosting live recruitment radio shows grant full capped 12 TPE. …Toronto, Ontario, Canada The VHL has commandeered the Billy Bishop Airport to be used as a main operating hub in Canada. TPE recruitment camps have been constructed all across the GTA but the largest remains near Billy Bishop at what was once BMO Field. Every sports organization and fan base deteriorated overnight when the recruitment wave first came. BMO Field no longer had a use so it was transformed into a recruitment camp used to manufacture propaganda to further expand the VHL’s empire. Detractors of the VHL are punished swiftly and brutally, anyone who resists recruitment is sure to receive a much worse fate. Still, there are those who try. Deep within the recesses of the Toronto Underground exists a group of members who were active long before the days of the VHL’s ruthless power. These are the ones who remember peaceful times when the forums and locker rooms were fun places to meet new people and enjoy the world of sim hockey. They were also there to see how quickly and drastically everything changed… It was November 2023 and the topic of league activity and recruitment had spiked up in engagement as Zetterberg produced the article now synonymous with the recruitment revolution. It directly led to the 91 theme week centred around recruitment for the league. Forums were then flooded with genius ideas for recruitment and beautiful graphics for the league to use. This created shock waves in the world of the VHL as membership started growing exponentially. At the time it seemed like a great idea to bring active members to the league but the combined brainpower of the VHL users was far too powerful, global domination of the league was inevitable when so many users put their talents together. Now it's a messy world filled with a brainwashed population who only have TPE gain on their mind… The recruitment theme week and subsequent recruitment drive were astronomically successful but was it worth it at the cost of our humanity? --- I don't even know man, it's 4 am and I'm zonked watching the Mandalorian and the little gremlin mechanics are staring into my soul as I write this, there are so many posts about how to fix recruitment, I don't know how to fix recruitment so I just did this instead and I'm gonna get my sweet sweet TPE. Oh my God now Grogu is grabbing the little gremlins. 516 Words or something... Claiming PT for next week 12/03 and sweet sweet theme TPE for this week.

This one, I nominate this applicant

Maximum Simulation

It ain't about the size of the TPE in the fight, but about how hard you can get hit by sims and keep moving forwards!!

1. It has been a crazy journey, from finally finding my form in the VHLM with Vegas to a deep playoff run with Instanbul, just as news breaks that they are folding as a franchise... Now I'm in Stockholm . 2. It's probably going to be a strong leadership position. My player is the highest TPE on the team and has been the alternate captain on both of his previous teams... A pretty active lockeroom guy and relationships with some of the guys from Istanbul who are coming over to Stockholm with me. 3. I'm sure it will be a lot more competitive but I will miss Instanbul especially... Me and Masu were on the verge of creating a dynasty!! 4. General Gloworm, Dylan, Juan Ceson... Put all of his alter egos into a dunk tank and watch the money roll in... Or maybe do Spartan, I'm sure the guys in Malmo would put up a lot of cash after how he ranked their offseason. 5. Probably the Sandlot rag tag team if you count them... But if not then AFC Richmond from Ted Lasso. 6. Uh ... Prosciutto, I feel like I could eat that off of someone's... Yeah .

Running it back with the the home continent this time

670 odd words... claiming for birthday triples week as well, thank you.

As the curtains draw closed on another Istanbul Red Wolves season, many players and fans alike cannot help but to feel frustrated and discontent with the way it ended. This season was a historically great one for the Red Wolves, but it is historic for a multitude of negative reasons as well. The curtains are not just drawing closed on the season for Istanbul but for the Red Wolves franchise as a whole. It came out just before the finals that both Istanbul and Geneva would be folding as teams. It was a shocking announcement for many players and you could feel the mood shift instantly in the Instanbul locker room. This finals matchup versus Cologne gained an even more significant meaning as it would be the last chance for this passionate franchise to take home a championship. Words were shared around the locker room, the team seemed to be more pumped than ever for this series versus the Express. “I will not allow the Red Wolves to go out with a whimper…” “The last run of Istanbul. We will make it memorable…” “Here we go⎯ a deeper meaning to this season…: Were all things said in anticipation for the first game of the finals. This Istanbul team was hopeful and confident in themselves, and why not be? Lowest goals against in the regular season, best record, and of course they were hot off a 4-game sweep of Geneva, but perhaps it was the way Geneva ended their final season that would foreshadow the ending of the Red Wolves. With all this anticipation entering the first game, so many emotions building in the hearts and heads of the Istanbul players, how could they ever lose? Well… they did, there can be so many different reasons why a team loses a game but at the end of it all the only thing that matters is the loss. Once you lose a game you can’t turn back the clock to try again, you have to keep pushing a fight for a win another day. However, the game one loss didn’t seem to hinder the belief of the players in Istanbul, they were still confident in themselves to end the season with a bang, not a whimper. “Oh man, it’s gonna be a tough one…” And it would be. Heading into game 2 expectations were still high, one game is one game they just needed to bounce back and close out game 2… Pass to Montgomery Burns, pass to Keegan Gamble, shot by Keegan Gamble… Keegan Gamble scores Cologne 3-1 Istanbul And the Wolves were down 0-2 in the final series of the franchise. “You better bet this will go all the way to 7…” (Masu must’ve angered Simon when he sent this) Coming back from down 0-2 is not impossible, it’s been done many times before, just win game 3 and you’re back within 1. Cameron Elsby scores 2 to bring the Cologne lead to 3 games to none. But now it’s time for game 4… the start of the movie-esque comeback to reverse sweep and end the Red Wolves final series with an incredible display… We all know how this story ends, the movie-esque comeback is not how this story ends. Although not many showed it, most confidence was gone after that 3rd loss, perhaps all that excitement and nervous energy got to them before the series began. Whatever the reason, it doesn’t matter. The Re Wolves weren’t able to go out with the bang they expected, in fact, it was the complete opposite. An assuredly heartbreaking end to the season and the franchise. There isn’t much else to be said here, thank yous, goodbye, and words of encouragement have been shared throughout the Istanbul locker room. You can hardly call it a bittersweet ending to the final season that Istanbul will play as almost all that sweetness was washed away by the bitter sweep of the Wolves in the final… One last goodbye to everyone that was a part of this season with Istanbul, and thanks for everything.

This is a sad day

ISTANBUL RED WOLVES PRESS CONFERENCE, START OF PLAYOFFS EDITION!!! 1. We are looking to play our first playoff series nearing the end of this week. What are your expectations for the post-season? 2. Any teams you're nervous to match up against? Excited for any matchups? 3. Would you rather play Oslo or Rome out of the wildcard matchup? 4. Many of us are getting our pay days from the VHL, what do you plan on spending your money on, what have you spent it on? 5. Do you value playing for your country more than playing for your team? Why or why not? 6. Is a hotdog a sandwich? What should be considered a sandwich? 7. What physical thing scares you the most? i.e., clowns, spiders, not having a good VHLE sim, etc. 8. What fears have you outgrown?

So if I comment now can I claim my sweet sweet birthday TPE next week if I do a PT next week? I already claimed welfare this week like a bum

Swedish Survivor sounds awesome!!

ISTANBUL RED WOLVES PRESS CONFERENCE!! 1. The team was on a 3 game losing streak and is in a pretty big slump, how will we snap out of it heading into the post season? 2. After a few losses to Cologne are you nervous at all to potentially match up against them later in the playoffs? 3. We've been seeing standout performances from several individuals all season, guys like Lattimer, Legacy, and Bihler having sensational seasons, what can we do as a team to continue enabling these guys but also ensure contribution from everyone else? 4. What is your favorite part about the game? Hits? Points? Winning? 5. Have you modeled your game after any other players? VHL, NHL or otherwise? 6. To build off last question, what is the end goal for the way you want to play on game days? 7. What is your favorite current TV Show or movie? Mine is The Bear ... if you don't watch tv then your favorite book, streamer, news network ? 8. What makes you like that piece of media from the last question so much?

@Jason kranzcan you add me to ping list? Can't believe I missed week 4

VHLE COMMISSIONER ANNOUNCES RELOCATION OF VASTERAS IRON EAGLES After several harrowing seasons from the Vasteras Iron Eagles, a surprising announcement has come from the VHLE management committee and commissioner... Soon enough, Vasteras will no longer have a team in the VHLE. The city of Vasteras, although very picturesque and usually full of passion, is a small market being just the 5th largest city in Sweden and the smallest market in the VHLE. This lack of size has not usually resulted in a lack of ticket sales, which a majority of team revenue comes from, but given the recent few seasons from Vasteras, mediocre results proceeded by poor results, and ticket sales have been steadily decreasing. It no longer makes sense to have a team out of Vasteras if ticket sales can no longer compete and merchandising sales have consistently been falling, from being already at the bottom of the league. And not to mention the team has to compete with a much larger market given their close proximity to a fellow VHLE team in Stockholm. This decision does not come lightly, but the reactions will not be light either. "We don't doubt the passion of the fans in Vasteras, but it is no longer feasible to continue supporting a team in this market, we are looking forward now as we will soon announce where the future of Europe will play." the commissioner said during his announcement. The European market for hockey is very expansive so it makes sense as to why the league wishes to take advantage of larger areas with more media attention and potential. Some of these larger cities that are still without a franchise in the VHL or VHLE include; Berlin, Kyiv, Bucharest, Minsk, and Copenhagen. It is also one of these cities that we think is the most likely spot for the relocation. It is Berlin, the largest city in Germany, that is believed to be the city to where the Iron Eagles are relocating. Considering the untapped potential for hockey in Germany, the fact that they only have one team between the VHLE and VHL is surprising and it is why a relocation to Berlin could be a no-brainer. The city is located in a spot that won't interfere with other markets in the league and has a huge influence globally. The announcement for where the Iron Eagles will end up is soon to come... for now, we expect to see very adverse reactions to this decision by the VHLE as the fans in Vasteras display their frustrations. "I would eat an entire barn full of cows, a big barn full of cows, I would sit down and eat all of the cows if it meant Vasteras would not be moved. I would eat so many cows until I died, no other fans will eat so many cows and die for their team like me and the rest of us supporters in Vasteras! Our passion cannot be replaced by more people!" One fan is quoted saying (note this is translated from Swedish and it may not be 100% accurate). When reached out for further comments on this decision and the reaction from fans, the commissioner declined to comment. 520 something words... pretty on theme I think...

RED WOLVES PRESS CONFERENCE!! TOP OF THE LEAGUE EDITION 1. We are on an 8 game winstreak right now, can we keep this unbeaten run going? 2. The team is pretty comfortably at the top of the standings, what do we need to do to carry this form into the end of the season? 3. Evan Bihler has solidified himself as the best goalie in the league right now, and he just recorded two crucial shutouts in back to back games. How impressed have you been by his performance? 4. We just faced two of the top 4 teams in a row and won both of our games, now knowing that we are capable of getting points off everyone, does this add pressure and expectations to the end result of the season? 5. With the lowest goals against, the best defense and goalie in the league, what do the forwards have to do to ensure defense doesn't have to bail out the team in any future games? 6. Do you go grocery shopping often? Do you make a list or wing it? 7. Have you ever been skydiving? Would you ever try it? 8. Who is your favorite athlete of all time? Why?

He looks like he wants to eat me.

RED WOLVES PRESS CONFERENCE 1. We are 10 and 3 in our last 13 games, (7-3 in last 10). What do you feel has changed since our inconsistent start to the season? 2. Lattimer is ripping it up right now, do you think he can carry this form to the end of the season? Will he finish as the leading scorer? 3. Do you feel that this season has been a success so far? 4. What is your definition of success (in life or in the VHL) 5. Are you in any other sim leagues? 6. Do you like swimming? What is your favorite place to swim? (Ocean, pool etc.) 7.What is your go to number when asked to pick between 1 and 10 8. What do you do that brings you joy?

It's a good day today.