dylanjj37

This is complete lies. Juan attends the practice facility every week!

You are invited to Zampony’s birthday party! Juan Ceson will be hosting his best friend’s birthday party at the Juan Ceson Practice Facility. The entrance fee for the party will cover the cost of you coming to the party. Please bring your own food and beverages as they will not be provided. Zampony has also written a wish list for things he would like for his birthday and you are kindly requested to bring one of these if you would like admission to the party, in addition to the entrance fee. Gifts include a signed copy of Juan Ceson’s new book, Poke Checking: Get the Puck, Part 1 (signed by Juan Ceson and not by Jimmy MacElroy), a new yacht with an ice rink so he can skate around and his very own ice rink/arena/stadium/some sort of cool building named after him like the Juan Ceson Practice Facility is named after Juan Ceson. Sadly, the party will have limited numbers and be first come first served but for an additional fee you can reserve your place at the party beforehand. Please also feel free to send Zampony’s gift if you are unable to attend.

@Xflexzill give you a discount on the book for helping write it

not anymore

they will rise against you.

its not community work because you paid me anyway. also i am training them for the revolution.

jokes on you, the classes are free for bots.

yeah i did say that in the article. dont worry, im not charging you too much either.

Juan Ceson, once again elected captain of the Las Vegas Aces, has taken it upon himself this season to offer a series of masterclasses on the most important skill in hockey, poke checking. Along with his good friend and assistant captain Jimmy MacElroy, the pair will be giving these lessons to the rest of the team for only a modest fee. Since General Manager Shindigs is currently obsessed with poke checking, and since everyone on the team is worse at poke checking than Jimmy and Juan, it is highly suggested that players enrol in the classes so that Shindigs will like them. You will require a copy of Juan’s new book ‘Poke Checking: Get the Puck, Part 1”. For the advanced class, you will also require ‘Poke Checking: Get the Puck, Part 2”. The advanced class is required if you want to be as good as Juan and Jimmy. It is hoped that these classes will help the team be just as good as they were last season and once again reach the playoffs (and also it will stop Shindigs telling Juan to work on his poke checking).

i am trying to lead by example but you keep telling people to apply tpe

Thank you, for a "small" fee, you can even get tickets to the premiere!

Juan Ceson has some very exciting news to share. Juan has been approached by a company that I am not allowed to name who have purchased for a large sum the rights to make a movie about Juan Ceson. This is great news as lots of people have been asking Juan how he has become such a star and why he is so great (for more information, please see Juan’s soon to be published autobiography). Juan will be helping direct the film and he is also looking for someone to play the role of Juan Ceson. They must be a very good hockey player since they will be playing Juan Ceson, hockey star. They will also need to be fluent in Catalan or willing to learn as the film will be released in Catalan in order to promote Juan’s new book series, ‘Learn with Juan Ceson!’. If you think you fit the criteria, please apply by sending Juan your best business ideas.

6. GO THRASHERS

thanks, maybe ill add the consistency award next season!

thank you for raising awareness of juan's plight

this is absolutely untrue. unless... are there benefits to getting married? will juan get more money? he will marry for money.

Captain’s Awards These are the captain’s awards that are far more interesting than awards like Top Scorer “I scored the most goals so I’m guaranteed an award” award or Top Rookie “Gotta give the rookies their own award or they’d never win anything” award that GM Shindigs gives outs. These awards are for real, important things and the winners are personally chosen by the team captain, Juan Ceson himself. Community Service Award Nominees: Dogwood Maple, Velociraptor Greg, Jimmy MacElroy, Juan Ceson This award goes to a player who has shown dedication to the community in their own spare time. A lot of players are too focused on hockey to have a chance at this award, but one player stands out. Founding their very own hockey team, the Jersey City Jerseys, to enable players to have a team during the offseason and leading them to a very reputable fifth place this year, and captaining both the Jerseys and maintaining his Vegas captaincy, Juan Ceson has truly outdone himself here. European of the Year Award Nominees: Blake MacTavish, Juan Ceson, Al Land, Gruffud Theofylaktos Moving away from home can be hard for anyone. Moving abroad to a country that doesn’t speak your language is even harder. This award goes to a player from overseas who has managed to adjust to living in America whilst still playing at the top of the game. One player has managed to do just that. Coming to Las Vegas unable to even play hockey, they have managed to learn both the game itself and how to speak English and even integrated themselves into the local culture and nightlife. It is therefore my pleasure to announce that this season the award will go to Juan Ceson. Captain’s Choice Award Nominees: EVERYONE! ANYONE COULD WIN!!! This award goes to someone selected by the captain himself (and it's not himself!). This award could go to almost anyone on the team but things that the captain looks for in an award winner include dedication, loyalty and respect. This is the most prestigious prize a player can get. And the winner is…

dont get too excited, i havent claimed it yet

This is a very exciting week for Juan Ceson as he led the Las Vegas Aces to victory. Having finally won the cup that he worked so hard for, he is now able to sell it to raise funds to use to pay off his debts and go back home. He has also been working very hard on his hits and fighting in hopes that he might be able to scare off some of his creditors instead of having to pay. So far, this appears to be working and he has also started a new venture, his very own hockey team, the Jersey City Jerseys, which he hopes will bring in lots of money for him. Although he did have to bring in an expert to actually help run the team, he is confident he will be able to lead a second team to victory and spend all the winnings paying off his debts (or down the road in Atlantic City).

i dont think shindigs is working hard enough or achieving enough

This week Juan Ceson decided to try a new business venture. Growing up in Andorra, he did not ever go ice skating due to the lack of nearby facilities and so instead learned several different sports. Now, living in Vegas, in the middle of the desert, there is one sport he can capitalise on. Juan has decided to offer swimming lessons to the people of Vegas who have nowhere else to learn because there is no water in deserts. The first step was to turn the newly renamed Juan Ceson Center into a swimming pool but unfortunately several people were unhappy with this and so he instead used one of the rinks at the practice facility. Juan’s teaching method is very much “sink or swim” which he uses by throwing people into the deep end. Currently, he has a 100% success rate of people learning to swim who survived his lessons. Also Jeffrey Pines asked for lessons but Juan said no because he doesn’t like him.

why am i not in this @Shindigs

You like bots. This is not an option.

Juan Ceson was very excited this week for the launch of his new Juan Ceson Fan Club. It has been in the making for a long time and so many of Juan’s fans have asked if he has a fan club he can join. Well, the answer is now yes. Founding club members Blake MacTavish and Jake Thunder, paying over $1000 for the privilege of being founding members, both received a special gift in the form of a rubber duck wearing a little newspaper hat that Juan Ceson made himself. The pair have also offered and volunteered to produce the weekly Juan Ceson Fan Club magazine which will contain lots of fun facts about Juan Ceson, information about casinos and also a recipe every single week. It will no doubt be a very hard task but the pair have offered to do it without compensation which Juan is very happy about. Next week you can look forward to reading the first edition of the magazine.