jaredc7

1. With me on the 4th/5th line anything is possible :3
 
2. @MattyIce was one of my first and he was a legend luv that guy :3
 
3.the storm logo the neck is very big :3
 
4.neither because @Ledge and Dairyis my hero :3
 
5.im pretty simple i want a hover car thing that floats and has lots of guns
 
6.not a big fan of facebook very clunky and old school 

1. With me on the 4th/5th line anything is possible :3
 
2. @MattyIce was one of my first and he was a legend luv that guy :3
 
3.the storm logo the neck is very big :3
 
4.neither because @Ledge and Dairyis my hero :3
 
5.im pretty simple i want a hover car thing that floats and has lots of guns
 
6.not a big fan of facebook very clunky and old school 

Yes please :3 to forward

I went with C for Carter
done

Yes please :3 to forward

1. i think its sad to see frens go but nice to meet new frens :3
 
2.dragons kind of looking deadly
 
3.we pick up @Joker_TMhe likes fighting :3
 
4.bad for you but cinnamon toast crunch was fire
 
5.getting drafted by riga :3
 
6.brad marchand :3

Hi vhl, it's me, Matt, and today I wanted to talk about the start of the season of my player, Matt thunder, I really hope you will find it interesting and not boring (like most of my media spots or articles).
 
So I know it will sounds strange to many of you as for one time I am not angry at my player but happy for him, my player finally started the season in a good way, and it is incredible, I know my player is a more phisical one, so I have to care about the + and - or blocked shoots and hits and also about the fights, as my player, like the player of @jaredc7 loves to fight (isn't that right Dc players? I bet you are missing my tango mouves on the ice rink), but this season, I don't know what happened, but my player since the first games started to make some assists and that is always nice, maybe he just remembered how to handle a stick or he was just lucky or maybe the god of hockey had pity on him and just made him a little bit good, but at the end of the day 30 points are always good for my player and also for the team. 
The funny part is that the last season I made 40 points in 72 games, now in like 30 games i have made 30 points, so I really hope that this season will be a lot better than the last one, I will not win the most improuved player award (even if it is my little hidden dream to win it), but if I have to bet on one player to win it, I would go with my teammate and ( I hope)  friend, @youloser1337, in this season he is really killing it and I really thik this season will be his breakout season, so you better win it and do not disappoint me. ( I'm kidding you would never disappoint me).
 
Riga right now isn't doing that great as it is out from the playoffs zone, but I really belive that if we continue to play like we played against toronto, we would be able to gain a spot in the wild card (like in S76) or maybe if we are more lucky maybe getting immediatly in the playoffs zone, even if it is quite improbable and really hard, but you know that hockey is never predictable so maybe there is a chance to get in that "VIP" zone.
 
So that was it, I know it was really short but I hope that you guys liked it and did not find it boring ( as you guys probably have guessed, writing a media spot that is boring is my biggest fear, I know I'm a strange guy, please don't hate me), I hope to see all of the people that are reading this in my next media spot and I really hope that you readers will have a good week-end.
Se you all in my next media spot. Bye ( if next week I remember to write one lol, I write them always late because I'm a really lazy guy.)
 
550 words if I'm not wrong.
 
P.S sorry for the pings guys, I really hope that I didn't bother you.
 

1. i dance the pain away :3
 
2.hmmm we have many great people that raise people up like ledge, cabe mcjake, etc such a nice team 
 
3.The americans tanky is my biggest foe
 
4.its the fruit except the color :3
 
5.the first harry potter
 
6.count of monte cristo was really good :3

This is the first formal installment in a series I like to call: What the Fuck Happened Here? 
 
This idea started with a comment I made in a VHLM game thread a season or two ago. It was a game where there was a wild line brawl. A SimonT WALL of text documenting the penalties the refs handed out. It made me wonder: "What the fuck happened here?" I wrote what could probably be packaged and sold as a vhl.com, trying to turn that coal wall of text into a diamond of a story. I know our whole existence here is about turning ASCII print-outs into a real, tangible story, but so many of those stories are easy to tell. We can see who scored that clutch goal in OT. We know which goalie stood on their head to steal the game. We can't as easily see the physical, caveman parts of hockey. There's no shutdown defenders in the league because we don't see them. If we could see them, I bet we could put together a whole Ove Dyrdahl highlight reel worthy of a Rock 'Em Sock 'Em VHS, but we can't. We'll never see a Punch-up in Piestany at our World Juniors; we'll never get to see the VHL equivalent of Scott Stevens patrolling the blueline and almost-literally murdering people who challenge him; we can roleplay it but we'll never have a goalie who is also a professionally-trained boxer use his skills to beat the piss out of another goalie. Ed. note: This is all good in the VHL because injuries are off. Predatory hits like Mark Schiefele's on Jake Evans have no place in real life hockey; it likely will ruin the life of a kid with a bad history of brain injuries. It's the classic DGB conundrum: how do I simultaneously enjoy the emotion, intensity, and entertainment of a hockey fight while also knowing that it's causing irreversible brain damage to both combatants? Nostalgia is a hell of a drug. Anyways, with injuries off we are free to romanticize the violence all we want, right?
 

Isn't chaos beautiful?
 
So here's to the face punchers, the cheap shotters, the shit disturbers, and the pot stirrers too. They are unsung heroes rattling cages, protecting the stars, and throwing fists. They hide in the depths of the SimonT scoresheet, but every once in a while they come out to play. Anytime I see the goons gooning things up, it begs the question:
 
What the FUCK happened here?
 

clippings from Period 2 of Game 248: Riga Reign vs D.C. Dragons
 
No seriously, what the fuck happened here? One thing jumps out among the chaotic text:
 
12:29
 
Shit went DOWN at 12:29. 
 
Final score:
DCD: 19 PIM
RIG: 29 PIM
all at 12:29
 
The theory I've come up with through my analysis of VHL fights is that Simon T types ties in reverse chronological order. The first event we see at 12:29 is the last one to happen chronologically.
 
This Riga-DC game was already out of hand by the midway mark of the second period. DC potted two goals in the first, and another in the second before Riga finally got on the board at 9:47 of P2. Not three minutes later, their frustration boiled over.
 
Joseph Sharkton, Latvian grit grinder, tries hard loves the game, gets a bit too aggressive chasing down the puck on a dump and chase. DC defender Jackson Philliefan has two steps on Sharkton, and reaches the corner first. When he takes a shoulder check to see where Sharkton's at, he's greeted with the letters SHER on one eye and WOOD on the other. BOOM, cross check to the face.
 
http://a.espncdn.com/photo/2009/0422/nhl_g_hawks_flames1_576.jpg
Two minutes for: you can't do that
 
DC defender Yuuto Kira Cloudera sees his teammate eat shaft, and hurries over to avenge his teammate. Artair McCloud sees the burning rage in Cloudera's eyes, and knows that the bulky defender is ready to turn Sharkton into chum. McCloud, parked in the slot, takes a two handed chop at Cloudera's ankle as the defender crosses over to the far side. Cloudera falls, spiralling, snow angel-ing for a few rotations, while McCloud becomes the first responder on the scene. McCloud stands with Sharkton, looks at the damage done in the corner, and turns to prepare for the inevitable onslaught of revenge smashes. The two free-Reign punishers see the rest of the backchecking Dragons heading their way. They don't see a down-but-not-out Jackson Philliefan standing up, returning from the dead, and sucker punching Sharkton in the back of the head. With a maniacal smile on his face, Philliefan turns on McCloud next. Philliefan's smile gets even bigger when he doesn't face-punch McCloud... because Cloudera charges him from behind. Suddenly McCloud feels a front and back crack: first the crack of a stick straight level with his shoulder blades, and the crack of his nose as he sniffs a big ol' line of endboards. 
 
After that, all hell breaks loose.
 
The remaining players all grab dance partners. Isau DaMoose grabs Jeffrenomitsu The 3rd. That turns out to be a fatal mistake for DaMoose, as Jeffrenomitsu turns his face into pepperette.
 
 
DaMoose not having DaBest Time
 
Maksim Yakolevsky, DC's token 'enigmatic Russian', grabs Matt thunder, but neither of them know how to fight. They grab, they twist, they pull, and they make the "dance partners" metaphor less metaphorical. Their fight, it swings, it jives, shakes all over like a jellyfish. I kinda like it, but the refs don't, and make them break it up.
 

"Wanna dance?" "OK"
 
Last Dragon standing was Jay Jones. He'd played his career exclusively in the European division before getting traded to DC at the S77 trade deadline. He didn't like to fight. He just wanted to pass, shoot, score. Fighting was too barbaric and American for the European-trained Canadian. He was watching the chaos while an interesting thought popped into his head: "I wonder if I have enough milk for my breakfast cereal tomorrow...?" That made him mentally run through his fridge, top to bottom, thinking about what salad dressings he had in the door, if there were apples left in the crisper, why he put the milk on the bottom shelf instead of the top shelf... "Oh yeah, milk!" he says triumphantly to himself.
 
 
"I wonder if you can put chocolate milk on corn flakes?"
 
Jay Jones, is completely off in La La Land. He's approached by Jared Carter, the last single Riga player. Carter, eager to prove to his team that he's got their back, grabs Jones by the jersey and cocks his fist. Jay Jones has a revelation, and asks Carter: "Do you prefer white or chocolate milk?" Jared Carter laughs, and laughs, and punches Jones straight in the nose. The DC forward snaps out of it and gets one weak hook in before Carter knocks him out cold with a classic "got him by the scruff with your front hand, pull him towards you, and give a momentum-fuelled jab to the face". Jones crumples to the ground, while Carter leaves him with an epic chirp: "Better drink a gallon tomorrow to heal your face bones bud!"
 

Surprise, both fists work in a fist fight!
 
With that, every player on the ice is sufficiently exhausting from beating up or being beaten by someone else. Some of the players are just taking a breather (face down on the ice), and the rest too exhausted to fight another round with a new challenger. Head referee UNKNOWN finally steps in to deal with the aftermath. The crowd is going wild, clamouring for more, but UNKNOWN has to be the disappointed parent who shuts down the party and issues the punishments to all the naughty boys. When all is said and done, after 90 seconds on the microphone referee UNKNOWN has announced the following: 
 
1. Joseph Sharkton (RIG) - 2 minutes for cross-checking Jackson Philliefan in the face
2. Artair McCloud (RIG) - 2 minutes for slashing Cloudera's ankles, intercepting the defender rushing to aid Philliefan
3. Jackson Philliefan (DCD) - 2 minutes for getting up before the ref counted to 10 and suckeying Sharkton while he's enjoying his 'victory'
4. Yuuto Kira Cloudera (DCD) - 2 minutes for boarding McCloud when he leaves himself exposed by turning to see WTF HAPPENED HERE with Sharkton.
5. Isau DaMoose (RIG) - 5 minutes for losing a fight that he started
6. Jeffrenomitsu The Third (DCD) - 5 minutes for finishing what DaMoose started
7. Matt thunder (RIG) - 5 minutes for "fighting" the tango with Yakolevsky
8. Maksim Yakolevsky (DCD) - 5 minutes for "fighting", because it takes two to tango
9. Jared Carter (RIG) - 10 minute game misconduct for instigating a fight with a guy who's dreaming of dairy
10. Jared Carter (RIG) - 5 minutes for actually throwing fisticuffs at the guy who's dreaming of dairy
11. Jay Jones (DCD) - 5 minutes for snapping out of it a second too early, because if he kept dreaming he wouldn't have gotten that one weak punch in, and if he didn't throw a punch he wouldn't get the penalty...
 
And that, my friends, is WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED IN THAT RIGA/DC GAME EH?? I think. Who knows, I'm just making shit up.
 
1545 words, claim for three weeks.

1. i dance the pain away :3
 
2.hmmm we have many great people that raise people up like ledge, cabe mcjake, etc such a nice team 
 
3.The americans tanky is my biggest foe
 
4.its the fruit except the color :3
 
5.the first harry potter
 
6.count of monte cristo was really good :3

Player Information
Username: Joker_TM
Player Name: Alex Parise
Recruited From: Member (Jaredc7)
Age: 18
Position: G
Height: 80 in.
Weight: 205 lbs.
Birthplace: Canada

Player Page
@VHLM GM

1. The Rat king approves!
 
2.i like fox :3
 
3.super pumped all of the yung ones and old ones are playing well i even have a point!
 
4.salami,mustard,pickles,mayo,cheese,tomato on any bread im not picky and dang!..............das one good sandwich :3
 
5.the body and style  of tom wilson with the talent of mcdavid
 
6.Ottawa isn't in so no one wins

@jaredc7 I guess we got a goon in our hands

1. training to become the best fighter in the vhl :3
 
2. @Mrpenguin30 best boi :3
 
3. not really don’t really follow that stuff I have full confidence and admiration for our gms tho :3
 
4. Yessir!
 
5. takyon overture :3
 
6.computer for all computing needs :3

Going for 3 points next season :3

The Victory Fighting Federation will begin its activities in a couple weeks, on the opening day of Season 78. Until then, I figured it would be interesting to look at some players who could be favourites to hold the title of VFF Champion at some point in the upcoming season. From players who historically have gotten into a lot of fights, down to some dark horses that might not be as eager to drop the gloves, but that know how to get it done once they get into a bout.

 
Riley Knight Gee, Prague Phantoms
@KnightRiley
 
Riley Knight Gee is the first player on the list, thanks to his league-leading 6 wins in Season 77. He did get into 4 more fights, but only ended up with blood and snow on his face once. If he does get the belt at some point - and I’m guessing very early on in the season - he could legitimately carry it until the very end of the season. He gets into enough fights to not get disgraced after not taking part in any for 20 straight games, and he wins or at least draws often enough that it seems like it would be hard to take the title away from him. Watch out for this one.

 
Jared Carter, Riga Reign
@jaredc7
 
I’m not trying to diminish the actual hockey talent of our second favourite, but Jared Carter is a goon by definition. The Season 77 rookie scored a lowly 2 points - both assists - playing a very limited time every night, but he did get into 6 scraps, winning 4 of them. He’s rarely on the ice, but when he is, he’s looking forward to dropping the gloves and throwing opponents to the ground. If the rest of his game grows, as you’d expect for a sophomore, he should commend more time on ice and have more opportunities to take the VFF belt.

 
Randy Marsh, Malmo Nighthawks
@oilmandan
 
Randy Marsh is our third favourite. He might not strike fans as an actual favourite, due to him eating ice on 4 different occasions last season, but he did get involved in a league-high 14 fights. Only 1 of them resulted in a win, but all you need is to win one against the right opponent to be a VFF Champion. I doubt Marsh would hold the title for a long time, especially if he keeps getting outpunched by everyone out there, but that still makes him a favourite to be a Champion at some point of the season - and one of the most likely to get into multiple title fights, whether he wins them or not.

 
Rusty Knale, London United
@HatrickRoy
 
Our fourth and last player on the list is none other than VHL sophomore Rusty Knale. He has a knack for dropping the mitts - and he usually makes it count - as demonstrated by his 5 wins in 9 total fights last season. In fact, Knale only trailed Knight Gee in wins, and he was comfortably in the 4th spot when it came to overall fights. And he did all that as a rookie, so it'll be fun to see how the experience and growth he gets from playing his second VHL season affect his fighting tendencies.

this is great! thanks fren :3

@jaredc7
I made you a new one if it were a hockey card from the '90's with the material that makes it look kinda like it is moving.

1. we had a bit of a rough start which ended our season sadlly but i think we will bounce back we got great players and management 
 
2.me and my 2 points of course! :3
 
3.not really sure hopefully it would be nice
 
4.a fox and a gek because i would love it forever
 
5. @hedgehog337is my hero :3
 
6.carrot 

1. we had a bit of a rough start which ended our season sadlly but i think we will bounce back we got great players and management 
 
2.me and my 2 points of course! :3
 
3.not really sure hopefully it would be nice
 
4.a fox and a gek because i would love it forever
 
5. @hedgehog337is my hero :3
 
6.carrot 

1. we had a bit of a rough start which ended our season sadlly but i think we will bounce back we got great players and management 
 
2.me and my 2 points of course! :3
 
3.not really sure hopefully it would be nice
 
4.a fox and a gek because i would love it forever
 
5. @hedgehog337is my hero :3
 
6.carrot 

1. fortune favors the bold so i say we can do it! 
 
2.never know fren someone could be out there waiting to strike from the darkness.......
 
3.usually whoever is leading the league in pims that isn't drafted could always use another bruiser :3
 
4. @MattyIce used to take me out to his comedy shows in houston funny guy.... miss him tho
 
5.im a big ww2 movie guy so probs saving private ryan
 
6. band of brothers :3
 
also wanted to shoutout @Mrpenguin30for making me a picture luv u :3
 

 

1. fortune favors the bold so i say we can do it! 
 
2.never know fren someone could be out there waiting to strike from the darkness.......
 
3.usually whoever is leading the league in pims that isn't drafted could always use another bruiser :3
 
4. @MattyIce used to take me out to his comedy shows in houston funny guy.... miss him tho
 
5.im a big ww2 movie guy so probs saving private ryan
 
6. band of brothers :3
 
also wanted to shoutout @Mrpenguin30for making me a picture luv u :3
 

 

1. fortune favors the bold so i say we can do it! 
 
2.never know fren someone could be out there waiting to strike from the darkness.......
 
3.usually whoever is leading the league in pims that isn't drafted could always use another bruiser :3
 
4. @MattyIce used to take me out to his comedy shows in houston funny guy.... miss him tho
 
5.im a big ww2 movie guy so probs saving private ryan
 
6. band of brothers :3
 
also wanted to shoutout @Mrpenguin30for making me a picture luv u :3