Alex

Send him to FA for fun

F - Logan NineFingers @leandrofg

D - Fradin McGryer @rory

D - Skor McFleury @wcats

@MubbleFubbles you’re up

1. @MubbleFubbles F - Axle Gunner F - Raimo Tuominen F - Antonia Bucatini D - Callum Gary Yannick Janser D - Mark Calaway G - Red Panda 2. @rory F - Harry Callahan F - David Rashford F - Eric White Jr D - Jacob Stone D - Obuz Schneider Canet du Bocage G - WWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWW 3. @Alex (GM) F - Logan NineFingers F - Joshua Schwarzer F - Toby Kadachi D - Skor McFleury D - Fradin McGryer G - Giorgiy Costanzov 4. @wcats F - Jimi Jaks F - Shubham Anand F - Mac Atlas D - YaBoi Oven D - David Jokinen G - Ryan Artyomov 5. @Hogan DQ'd F - Severus Targaryen F - Jarmo Ruutu F - Catia Goncalves D - Kronchy Kardashian D - Leif Reingaard G - Merome Dilson 6. @Jubis F - Grimgor Ironhide F - Diego Machado F - Thor Reingaard D - Bobby Bob D - Lucy Leitner G - Olyber Syko

A red panda was born in a Lisbon Zoo in 1976, life was fairly normal, or at least as normal as things can get for a red panda living in a zoo. For the first 12 years, it was as simple as things can get, wake up, eat, and shit. But that’s when everything changed. In 1988, the Lisbon Zoo started doing live demonstrations explain the lives and fun animal facts, where do to the fact that this red panda could now speak fluent Portuguese (think like Team Rockets Meowth from Pokémon). During the first demonstration they learned that the lifespan of a red panda is only 23 years. This news was new to the red panda and was obviously fairly distraught. Following the news, this middle-aged red panda would escape from the zoo, this led to them wandering the streets living off of restaurant scraps and that is when they met a strange scientist at a Portuguese University who was doing some genetic research and given that red pandas aren’t human (obviously) they could be tested on. Over the course of the next two decades until the scientist’s death, this red panda underwent a battery of testing and experiments. The main effects from this were them tripling in size to that similar of Ryan Reynolds, and seemingly becoming the oldest red panda ever, as they have already doubled the average life span of a red panda. To avoid being stared at they made the decision to only wear a Deadpool costume, and with that adopt the moniker Deadpanda. From this point on they went back to wandering the earth, looking for a place that they belong, Deadpanda would travel from Portugal up to the United Kingdom, then off to southeast Asia, where they would find a bunch of red pandas, but due to their size they simply just didn’t feel like they belonged. From there one they went across the Pacific Ocean and ended up making money for people to take photos with them on the Vegas strip, they were able to make a decent living doing this and was able to purchase a house. This continued until they met a strange old man, this man took in Deadpanda and introduced him to the game of hockey. They quickly fell in love with the game and made the decision to take it up. Over the course of the next year Deadpanda saved up to buy goalie equipment after hearing that all goalies are a little bit messed up in the head and decided that this would be a great position for them. While early on Deadpanda was a fairly solid goalie, this was only during ball hockey as they would have to learn how to skate to play ice hockey. Learning to skate was a very different story and one that they still don’t quite have a solid grip of yet, due to their high center of gravity and lack of coordination Deadpanda struggled whenever they had to put on their so-called knife shoes. However, after 8 months of power skating lessons where they learned to skate both forwards and backwards, and slide side to side. Deadpanda was ready enough to consider trying out for a team. As Deadpanda was already 46 years old, beer league it was! In beer league they did very well and dominated the competition. After realizing that they felt the same as when they were 13, Deadpanda kind of put two and two together that as a result of their genetic testing that they had stopped aging. This breathed new life into a potential hockey career, where they made the decision to declare for the S95 VHLM draft. With this they did make several key decisions that will impact their career, the first of which is that they do want to play every game and or at a minimum not being anyone’s backup goalie, following every win they want the team that selects them to provide one ham and cheese sandwich following each win, and lastly they want the team that drafts them to actually reach out to them or their newly hired agent lemorse. Prior to the VHLM draft Deadpanda decided to tryout for the World Junior Championships, where they made it onto Team World! Largely in part due to there not really being many goalies available. As a result, they will get 4 games played at a level that is considerably higher than the VHLM. Sadly, this was done to boost their draft stock, but it may have done the opposite as they have posted a record of 0-3 with a 0.891 save percentage and 4.75 goals against average. Hopefully they can put at least one good game together so that the GMs have a better idea of what they are getting in the draft. Only time will tell where Deadpanda’s story will go from here, will they string together a successful career or just be a massive bust, who know?

I will fight you

Needs to happen

Thank you @Baby Boomer for the trade talks! @The goat of hockey best of luck in London! @TheNeonShaman, welcome back!

I’ll apply

Forwards: Piston Maicupp @MandyManiac Youre Not Fucking Retiring @twists David Pastanap @Jubis Dwight Schrute @Jamomayo Phil Sakic @Phil Tim Robinson @Tim Robinson Drosmis Sarkanis @Mr Bohannan Bret Weier @Quanack Nathan Blaize @Maple Defensemen: Bollos de Trueno @Thunder Ahsoka Tano @Aimee Samsayz I-Smell @CaptainSB Pan Daffleck @OrbitingDeath Goalies: Jorgen Lovstrom @Pifferfish Deadpanda @Alex Join the discord: https://discord.gg/5hGCPXVPXv

Deadpanda is a unique prospect, while they have yet to play a single game at any level, they have certainly impressed during tryouts for the upcoming World Junior Championships. Turning a few heads during skates with Team Europe, as well as Team Asia, and Team World. The current scouting report on them is fairly limited as there has been very limited time spent viewing the prospect, as a majority of those skates were closed, although you could hear the sound of a few drones overhead. Currently these are the few notes’ scouts have gathered. PROs Positioning: Deadpanda does a very good job of staying in position as the puck moves throughout the defensive zone, almost appearing to be able to read the play in advance of the puck actually even being passed. Reaction Time: Deadpanda’s reaction time appears to be second to none at this point of their career. Deadpanda has shown a great ability to quickly react to shot deflections, and one-timers. Something that will surely help them out and hopefully let them have a long career ahead of them. Potential: While Deadpanda’s only been playing hockey for about a week now, they have picked things up very quickly and appear to have the fundamentals down pat. This has led scouts to believe that they have a very high potential is what will be a stronger goaltending class of season 96. CONs Size: Deadpanda is slightly undersized when compared to the majority of successful VHL goalies. Standing at only 6’2”, while taller than average, their lateral reach is only 68”, which has led to them struggling up high. Additionally, Deadpanda is very lanky, so while they are “tall”, they are very skinny, meaning that their body just doesn’t cover as much of the net as some elite goaltenders. Skating: Given that Deadpanda has only been playing hockey for around a week, it is evident that they aren’t the best skater, while they have been improving on a daily basis, as of right now their skating is below par, which could be a concern for a team in the VHLM with the upcoming draft. While Deadpanda does show signs of a promising new player, there is considerable concerns with regards to how new to playing hockey that they are. With that being said they do seem to be very solid down low, and fundamentally they are coming along quickly. They should have a promising career, and do project as a good starting goaltender, but the path to get there will be a long one.

$1 Million Player Store Doubles Week 5 Uncapped TPE

Thanks! still one more season with McFleury though

1. Not really, but they did have a very good roster. 2. I recreated a goalie, also busy with JST 3. Conference finals! 4. Around .500 5. Skor McFleury (100% not bias) 8. Happy Gilmore!

Player Information Username: Alex Player Name: Deadpanda Recruited From: Returning Age: 47 Position: G Height: 74 in. Weight: 190 lbs. Birthplace: Portugal Player Page @VHLM GM

Written by: @Doomsday, @KaleebtheMighty, @Will3, and @Alex

1 Calgary Wranglers Roger Eagles @Greg_Di G TPE: 421 Season GP W L OTL SV% GAA SO GA SA S94 Regular Season 62 32 20 7 0.932 2.5 2 148 2163 S94 Playoffs 6 2 3 1 0.909 3.46 0 21 232 Despite a magnificent start to the season, the Calgary Wranglers faltered down the stretch and failed to reach the postseason. Despite a quality rookie season from goaltender David Slezak, rumor has it that Calgary's management isn't convinced that his work ethic will lead to the continued success that matches their championship aspirations. Possessing the first two picks in the draft, Calgary is now in an amazing position to add two real difference makers to an already stellar young roster, with the first one being the clear-cut top prospect in Roger Eagles. After a fantastic season with Rome in the VHLE, Eagles is VHL-ready, and would immediately supplant Slezak in net thanks to his elite work ethic. The Wranglers may be quite thankful they missed out on the playoffs last season after this draft. 2 Calgary Wranglers Phil Sakic @Phil LW TPE: 349 Season GP G A P (+/-) SHT PIM HITS SB S94 Regular Season 72 48 47 95 33 362 54 123 13 S94 Playoffs 6 1 6 7 2 27 4 13 1 So you narrowly missed the playoffs, but landed a franchise goalie in the draft. How does it get any better than that? If you're the Calgary Wranglers, you get a franchise goaltender AND a generational talent at forward from a builder with a proven track record of success. Phil Sakic had a monster season with Miami in the VHLM last season, scoring nearly 50 goals and just short of 100 points. Sakic is certainly capable of developing into an elite two-way forward, but it was clear in the VHLM that his focus was on offense. He'll be afforded another season of development, this time in the VHLE, and he will almost certainly be a Christian Stolzschweiger Trophy favorite when he reaches the VHL with Calgary. An absolute home run for the Wranglers with their first two picks, this will be a dangerous team for seasons to come. 3 Los Angeles Stars Spider Panda @Ricer13 G TPE: 332 Season GP W L OTL SV% GAA SO GA SA S94 Regular Season 28 19 6 2 0.904 2.21 2 61 635 S94 Playoffs 9 4 5 0 0.901 2.66 1 24 242 In a stroke of bad luck, the Stars miss out on the top goaltender in the draft thanks to an unfortunate result in the draft lottery, but it turns out that this wasn't the worst draft class at all for that to happen in. Losing out on Roger Eagles stings, but there is still another phenomenal goaltending prospect in Spider Panda available for the taking. The Stars have promising pieces of a core coming together, but they're still not ready to compete, which gives Panda a season to develop in the VHLE while Los Angeles continues to shape up. Coming from a builder that has a proven and consistent history of churning out quality players, the Stars still manage to walk away with their solution at goaltender while they continue to generate the capital to finish the rebuild. 4 D.C. Dragons Ahsoka Tano @Aimee D TPE: 355 Season GP G A P (+/-) SHT PIM HITS SB S94 Regular Season 70 30 62 92 17 201 36 111 107 S94 Playoffs 6 2 3 5 0 12 2 5 7 Given how top defenders are a premium these days, D.C. is surely going to be absolutely tickled to have Ahoska Tano fall right into their laps at fourth overall. The Dragons, in one word, need everything. This franchise needs a face, a leader, the key piece for D.C. to rally around. Tano has already shown the promise of elite two-way play in the VHLM, scoring 30 goals and adding 62 assists. Showing positional awareness at a tremendous level for a prospect, and she'll have the chance to show if that elite promise in both ends of the ice is for real in the VHLE. The Dragons have little reason to rush Tano up, leaving her to develop and be ready to start the Dragons' next era while they continue to acquire draft capital to bring in their new core. 5 Helsinki Titans Konstyantyn Shevchenko @der meister RW TPE: 365 Season GP G A P (+/-) SHT PIM HITS SB S94 Regular Season 72 50 57 107 49 397 40 142 40 S94 Playoffs 5 2 2 4 -3 23 4 5 2 Even though they are ranked as the second highest TPE player in this draft, Konstyantyn Shevchenko doesn't hear their name called until the 5th overall pick. However, Helsinki could not be more happy with this pick here. Konstyantyn displayed incredible offensive capabilities in the VHLM with the hounds, scoring 50 goals and putting up 107 points last season. As the Titans look to retool and rebuild with a new core, Shevchenko should provide a fantastic piece to their forward group and grow into an incredible player for the Titans. 6 HC Davos Dynamo David Pastnap @Jubis RW TPE: 319 Season GP G A P (+/-) SHT PIM HITS SB S94 Regular Season 72 39 46 85 47 398 56 116 29 S94 Playoffs 6 0 3 3 -5 18 4 7 2 With their first pick in the S95 VHL Draft, Davos looks to grab yet another forward to add to their growing team. One could argue that they already are competitive, and with Ironhide, Bucatini, Hardy, and Kaskiniemi-Kekkonen, Davos looks ready to fight. With the 6th overall pick, Davos adds another forward with David Pastnap, who put up 85 points in the VHLM last season. There's plenty of room to add another key player here, and while they could add a defenseman here, there's plenty of remaining defenseman they can add. They grab the best forward left on the board and should be pleased with Pastnap at 6. 7 Los Angeles Stars Samsayz I-Smell @CaptainSB D TPE: 323 Season GP G A P (+/-) SHT PIM HITS SB S94 Regular Season 72 14 72 86 27 233 78 131 151 S94 Playoffs 11 3 7 10 3 36 16 27 20 The tides are slowly changing in Los Angeles. A new team is emerging. With the 7th overall pick, Los Angeles adds a future defensive partner for Erik Thorvaldsson with Samsayz I-Smell. It's a perfect complement, with Thorvaldsson acting as a defensive defenseman and Samsayz bringing in an offensive mindset, evident by the 86 points they put up in the VHLM last season. The Stars won't be upset with no elite goalie in this draft, and should be quite happy with a defensive prospect like Samsayz I-Smell. 8 HC Davos Dynamo Alphonse Desjardins @Anthique D TPE: 270 Season GP G A P (+/-) SHT PIM HITS SB S94 Regular Season 72 15 51 66 15 150 76 183 102 S94 Playoffs 16 0 9 9 7 29 20 41 22 Remember the defenseman I mentioned Davos could add later in the draft? Here they are. Davos brings back a member instrumental to their cup run in S90 with Alphonse Desjardins. While not as overly an offensive defenseman as other prospects in this draft, Desjardins clearly helped SSK with a Founder's Cup victory. Their staple play on the blue line showed leadership and poise, which is exactly what Davos wants to bring into their locker room as they prepare to seriously contend. With their 6th and 8th overall picks, Davos clearly shapes their future in the EU as a strong team for seasons to come. 9 D.C. Dragons Tim Robinson @Tim Robinson LW TPE: 279 Season GP G A P (+/-) SHT PIM HITS SB S94 Regular Season 72 39 58 97 44 497 53 125 36 S94 Playoffs 6 3 2 5 3 29 2 18 5 An elite forward on both sides of the puck, Tim Robinson is coming off a great season where he led Miami in scoring with 97 points in 72 games. Additionally, Robinson has no problem finishing as they recorded just shy of 40 goals over the course of the season. Currently DC is in the middle of a rebuild, and adding Robinson will give them a winger with a very high ceiling. We can expect Robinson to step into DC's lineup after 1 season in the VHLE. Robinson projects as a top winger in the league, and this will be a steal for the Dragons! 10 Chicago Phoenix Boris Bone-Breaker @RileyL D TPE: 247 Season GP G A P (+/-) SHT PIM HITS SB S94 Regular Season 72 14 57 71 45 157 89 213 90 S94 Playoffs 15 2 8 10 3 46 16 52 25 Boris Bone-Breaker is a one of a kind player, the defensive defensemen has made a name for themselves by punishing opponents physically and shutting down all their scoring chances. Bone-Breaker posted 213 hits, 90 shots blocked, and was a + 45 last season. Perhaps most surprisingly, they also had 14 goals and 57 assists for 71 points in 72 games played! Chicago is in a great position to compete sooner rather than later, and Bone-Breaker gives them a option that will be up in the VHL sooner rather than later and will make a impact on their blue-line. 11 Riga Reign Einar Mathiesen @xsjack D TPE: 248 Season GP G A P (+/-) SHT PIM HITS SB S94 Regular Season 72 18 55 73 40 163 52 129 104 S94 Playoffs 6 0 4 4 3 11 6 8 15 Einar Mathiesen is a text-book two-way defensemen, and one that every team would want to have on their roster. They are coming off of a great season that they split between Las Vegas and Miami where they put up 18 goals and 55 assists for a total of 73 points! Additionally, they recorded over 100 hits and shots blocked while only taking 52 minutes of penalties. Riga really lucks out here with Mathiesen as they get a defensemen that will step into their roster and fill a gap for S96. Mathiesen projects as a solid top 2 defensemen that is solid on both sides of the puck. 12 London United Drsmis Sarkanis @Mr Bohannan RW TPE: 195 Season GP G A P (+/-) SHT PIM HITS SB S94 Regular Season 24 6 9 15 4 98 12 25 12 S94 Playoffs 16 7 4 11 7 64 10 17 21 While only joining the VHLM just before the trade deadline, Sarkanis has made a name for themselves. After having 15 points in 24 games, they really took a step forward in the playoffs, scoring 7 goals in 16 games. A previous player from the same agency has played in London and it seems to be a great place for Sarkanis as the team starts to look towards the new era of London United players. Sarkanis will be a great piece to start building around. 13 D.C. Dragons Inker Belle @WildfireMicro RW TPE: 177 Season GP G A P (+/-) SHT PIM HITS SB S94 Regular Season 72 33 39 72 16 260 28 126 35 S94 Playoffs 11 2 4 6 -4 39 6 26 3 The 5'5", 150lb Inkling has thrived in her transition from Inkopolis turf wars to San Diego ice hockey. As a fitting member of the Marlins in her first season of VHLM play she went a point per game in the regular season, finishing with exactly 72 points in 72 games. With her skill set consisting of significance playmaker capabilities, this fresh prospect should develop into a key piece of a rebuilding franchise. Stay Fresh! 14 Helsinki Titans Ozzy Batty @Ozzy Batty C TPE: 204 Season GP G A P (+/-) SHT PIM HITS SB S94 Regular Season 72 43 71 114 35 380 67 133 53 S94 Playoffs 5 2 4 6 -3 29 2 10 11 Ozzie Batty is one of the best players to come in after the VHLM draft. The British center put on a performance to remember in Mississauga. As a member of the Hounds, he produced just under an assist per game which resulted in a staggering 114 points in 72 regular season games. As a offensive centerman capable of leading his team, The Titans might just pick up their future 1st line center with this pick. 15 Toronto Legion Ronan Amnon @Breeze837 D TPE: 154 Season GP G A P (+/-) SHT PIM HITS SB S94 Regular Season 72 10 47 57 15 155 66 161 116 S94 Playoffs 11 1 2 3 4 13 8 18 6 The Mexico City Kings rewarded Ronan Amnon for choosing them by selecting him with 14th overall pick in the VHLM draft. The 6'6 blue liner from Panama rewarded thus show of loyalty with 57 points,mostly off assist and 161 hits in the regular season. He would contribute to the Kings deep playoff run by scoring a crucial game winning goal. A true two way D man, Ronan can become a good consolation prize to the runners up given time to develop. 16 Moscow Menace David VanHousen @David VanHousen RW TPE: 153 Season GP G A P (+/-) SHT PIM HITS SB S94 Regular Season 72 13 31 44 32 158 65 104 15 S94 Playoffs 6 1 2 3 -3 10 4 9 0 The 1st round ends with back to back Houston Bulls being selected. He had a solid season with 44 regular season points. the 5'10", 160lb right winger doesn't really fit into any archetype just yet. But with time and training from the champs, David should develop into a star player.

To be clear Fuukka Rask had the lowest GAA (2.29), end of story. This isn’t a situation where a goalie from another team would have won the award. The decision was made to extend the award to Constanzov as they also had over 30 games started and Seattle had the least goals against. While typically the Clegane has just gone to the starting goalie with the lowest GAA, this season presented a unique situation that has never occurred before as teams rarely ever play their goalies in a 1A/1B and have the goalie with both the lowest GAA and the lowest goals against as a whole.

There was a lengthy BOG discussion on it, Rask would have won regardless, was extended to include Constanzov since both goalies hit the minimum games started requirement and Seattle had the least goals against in the league.

All-VHL First Team Jimi Jaks @ke1vi - Raimo Tuominen @SlapshotWrangler - Diego Machado @Dadam30 Bobby Bob @Baby Boomer - Skor McFleury @Alex Lachlan Summers @kirbithan All-VHL Second Team Leonard Triller @Triller - Mac Atlas @v.2 - Catia Goncalves @cLoWn CGY Janser @Daniel Janser - YaBoi Oven @Doomsday Fuukka Rask @Jubis All-VHL Rookie Team Antonia Bucatini @CowboyinAmerica - Tom Dufour @Cookie - The Phantom of the VHL @Hogan Lucy Leitner @LucyXpher - Gul Dukat @MSouthworth David Slezak @ShawnGlade And that concludes the S94 VHL Awards! Congratulations to all the winners, and thank you all for reading along! Have a great S95 everyone!

Scotty Campbell Trophy (MVP): Now the award we’ve all been waiting for, these players not only had spectacular seasons, they all were instrumental to their team’s success and exceed all expectations: Ash Sparks @DarkSpyro - Had a great season and kept Malmo in the race for the Victory Cup for most of the season! Bobby Bob @Baby Boomer - Led the league in assists, playing a major role in Toronto’s offense! Lachlan Summers @kirbithan - Had over 2400 shots against, and mad save after save to carry Warsaw back to the playoffs! Skor McFleury @Alex - Led Riga at both ends of the ice, playing a crucial role in their 3rd place finish in their conference! Jimi Jaks @ke1vi - Led the league in most offensive metrics, Toronto likely doesn’t win the Victory Cup without them! And the winner is...

Brett Slobodzian Trophy (Most Outstanding): The only award that is voted on by everyone, the Brett Slobodzian Trophy is awarded to the league’s most outstanding player, these were the nominees: Bobby Bob @Baby Boomer - Led defensemen in points, and was crucial to Toronto’s offense Skor McFleury @Alex - Had another great season, being a leader at both ends of the ice! Jimi Jaks @ke1vi - Was the best player offensively in the league, in addition to spectacular defensive play! Lachlan Summers @kirbithan - Continues to be the league’s best goaltender, facing the most shots, and posting a ridiculous SV%! And the winner is...

Daisuke Kanou Trophy (Playoff MVP): These next players really shined in the playoffs, propelling their team on a spectacular run, all while proving themselves invaluable to their team: Obuz Schneider Cadet du Bocage @Grape - Led defensemen in points (30) and led the league in assists (20)! Axle Gunner @Steve - Led the playoffs in goals (16) and points (31)! Steve Lattimer @pugsood - Tied for the lead in points (31), and finished 2nd in goals (15)! And the winner is...