JardyB10

Got em! Action 3: Challenge B***o of the Elite Four EXP Share on Ponyta I’ll lead with Machamp to Dynamically Punch the rock snake into a coma. He can continue punching until he goes down. Gyarados can swoop in against Poliwrath, and rock it like a Hurricane. It can keep doing that until it goes down. Gengar can come in at the end to cheese the fight with Shadow Ball or whatever.

Yes, sorry I misunderstood, I thought 4 levels was the limit. I’ll be a little more clever with the level up cheese then! Exp Share still on Ponyta I’ll lead with Eevee to sacrifice it the great boa, spamming Tackle. Then my newly minted Dratini can take out Ekans, and Ponyta can do its own dirty work on Magikarp.

This shit is bananas. Congrats Ottawa!

Rigged

Wonderful fortune! Check out these leet moves: Start by wasting Ultra then Great then Pokeballs on Dratini. THEN, Exp Share on Ponyta. I’ll send Arbok out to eat the fish, and Golem out to earth shake the snake. After that, I should be properly ready to Action 2: Challenge Lorelei of the Elite Four Same strategy as last time. Ponyta spams Flamethrower until it dies, followed by Gyarados spamming Hyper Beam until it dies, followed by Machamp spamming Dynamic Punch until HE IS VICTORIOUS! (or dies)

Professor Oak is going to put on his shades, a floppy sun hat, grab a margarita, and head to the store to buy a fishing rod and 3x Pokeballs Action 1: Explore Fishing

I accept, give me my cat back

Action 4: Explore Route 1. Throw Great Balls at Bulbasaur and/or Pikachu, execute everything else with Ponyta, Gyarados backing up in case pony dies. Action 5: Work

This is probably the least predictable VHLM Round 1 I’ve ever seen! @jsdeac absolute clutch!

I think my Wildcard Round predictions for games played ended up being backwards.

ALSO, Poliwrath resists Bite too

Ultra Balls at Electabuzz, then Great, then Poke. Machamp will Dynamically Punch Rhyhorn right in its stupid head Ponyta will execute Exeggcute with Flamethrower If Buzz manages to suck all my balls and still not flee, Ponyta can attempt to Flamethrower it to death as well. Failing that, I suppose Machamp can Punch it. Action 3: Professor Oak puts on his sunglasses and his oversized Wynaut bike helmet and hops on his now well used bicycle. He rings the bell three times, and Ponyta, Gyarados, and Machamp V out behind him, also wearing their sunglasses. They’re off to challenge Lorelei of the Elite Four! I don’t really know how this is going to go. Ponyta will lead and spam Flamethrower Glaceon to death and hopefully make it to Jynx, continuing to throw Flames. When it falls, Gyarados will come out and spam Hyper Beam and hopefully can make it to Lapras. When it falls, Machamp comes out and hopefully can Punch Lapras to death.

Damn Ottawa, what do you think you’re doing??

“I take my job very seriously,” Professor Oak said, before taking an enormous bong hit. Buy two more Great balls Action 2: Explore Safari Zone again

Saku Klutchkakoivu

elusive* 0/6

First of all, I'm deeply offended about your predictions about the Halifax 21st. Your reasoning is perfectly sound and you're most likely correct in your assessment, but that doesn't mean I'm not DEEPLY offended Anyway, I quite enjoyed reading this. Partially because I'm personally invested in the subject, but also because your analyses were clear, concise, and well enough researched. I've also always been a fan of a colourful presentation. I don't have much to criticize other than your obviously incorrect opinions about my beautiful mediocre team. If we were 40 or so seasons in the past, this article would be an easy 6/6. Great work!

Halifax 21st Press Conference 3 Questions Answered = 1 Capped TPE 6 Questions Answered = 2 Capped TPE Please answer in full sentences Week Ending August 7th, 2022 Note, if you're not a fan of these questions, and haven't answered previous ones, feel free to use old questions instead! Hell, you can even pull them from a completely different thread! 1. It's Friday, making this a very late Press Conference! I apologize for nothing. How do you feel about that? 2. Playoffs are beginning TONIGHT! We are facing off against the Houston Bulls. How do you expect the series to turn out? 3. What's your favourite VHL and/or NHL player name of all time? 4. Have you entered the VHL Playoff Bracket Fantasy thingy yet? If so, what were some of your predictions? If not, what are you waiting for? 5. My hair is getting rather long and I nearly forgot that I need to book a cut this weekend. How would you describe YOUR memory skills? Is it "forgets about things attached to your own body" bad like me? 6. It was too late for their player to join our team, but I made @thecaringbear an honourary Halifax 21st member to be our playoff cheerleader. What would YOUR Care Bear power be? (Do they even have individual powers? Whatever, let's assume they do) | @jpach52 @JetsGoalie101 @Emann2003 @bored @jsdeac @Brodie_Landry @Quik @RElblein @Cmcgowan @thecaringbear |

Have you not considered the glory of being the voice of the VHL to newbies though?

Assuming Abra gets the level he needs from this unlosable (unloseable? un-lose-able?) battle and evolves, I'll then do a cheesy swappy-swapback with @OrbitingDeath Bill Receives: Kadabra Oak Receives: Meowth Level 15 then Bill Receives: Meowth Level 15 Oak Receives: Alakazam

It might not need to be that complex. Even something as simple as a pop-up after creating a player (similar to a Welfare or PF one) that's like, "Good job! Now to get on a team, find your player thread at https://vhlforum.com/forum/125-create-a-player/ and choose an offer to accept (Note: Many GMs will reply within minutes, but it could be a few hours before you receive your first offer. No stress bru!)" Yeah this might be good, but it would need to be both very visible and VERY concise. Maybe a 1-2 minute "Quick start guide" or something, and it can be @Hogan speed-running character creation or something like that.

Professor Oak upon Entering the Safari Zone: Let's start with Pokeballs at Rhyhorn, move to Great balls if need be. Then Great Balls at Eggs, move to Pokeballs, THEN ULTRA BALLS I GUESS if need be Assuming I catch the Rhyhorn, I'll equip the Exp Share on Abra, then use Rhyhorn to safely murder the Electabuzz. If I fail to catch Rhyhorn, I'll have Golem do the deed instead. Then I'll probably shop again for an as yet determined amount and quality of balls before Action 2: Explore Safari Zone

*LISTENER DISCRETION ADVISED* Fucks Delivered https://anchor.fm/jardy-b/episodes/Jardys-Hecking-Podcast--S2-Episode-13-Hottest-Retention-Idea-of-the-Year-e1m5b10 Featured song is Lifeboat by Gallago. If you're not listening carefully you won't notice that I edited a minute out of the intro of the song Segments of this episode: - No One Gives a Shit, @Phil ~(1:00-4:00) - Nodesode Summary/Bathroom Search/Topic Search *TUNE IN TO LEARN @Ptyrell's REAL NAME!* ~(4:00-5:20) - Housekeeping/Nurx Plugs/Sky Observations (I don't have ADHD, you do) ~(5:30-11:00) @Beketov @nurx @Doomsday @Gustav - Optimizing the New Member Experience. Drink everytime I say "forum" or "portal." ~(11:00-20:00) @Joe Biden/@Barack Obama @jacobcarson877 @Baozi Enjoy

Full on Cinnabon, Oak finally decides to move on and do some shopping: Buy 3x Ultra Balls and a Safari Pass Action 1: Explore Safari Zone

*LISTENER DISCRETION ADVISED* I swear a lot okay? https://anchor.fm/jardy-b/episodes/Jardys-Nodesode-26-Whats-Going-On--From-My-Own-Eyes-e1m55v5 Today, I ramble about some random bullshit: - Halifax's playoff matchup and chances ~(0:00-4:00) - Driving on shitty roads and work things (ALL OF IT) - The least informative VHL playoff preview ~(4:00-6:00) - Town of Pallet ~(5:50-11:30) - Tease a future podcast that won't happen (11:30-End) Mentions: @Ptyrell @omgitshim @Quik @jsdeac @Ricer13 @Beketov