LucyXpher

This was well written and fun to read! Of course, part of me is flattered to hear someone else write about my player, but I have to say it was genuinely awesome to read about some of the other players that I really don't know much about. I've been trying to get to know some of the standout players throughout the VHLM, though it can require a good bit of research and sifting through stats. Your article really makes that process easy and palatable. As a fan of observing the process of scouting/drafting IRL, this is a fun piece to be included in and helps build anticipation for the S93 draft which is going to be a stacked class! I also really liked how you clearly looked at each player's STHS sheet and used it to write about their pros and cons in a realistic way. Awesome job, and I look forward to reading more of your writing soon! 9/10

Awesome media spot! It provides a highlight reel of all the relevant statistical information for the Bulls so far this season. I especially appreciated the suggestion of a free, fancy meal. I know my AGM's got my back! I really liked the projections you mathed out for the season to contextualize the stats, that was a good bit of analysis, even if is still early in the season. I think you were also quite balanced when being positive and critical about certain statistics, though maybe I should be taking a little more heat for all those PIMs. If I could offer one piece of constructive feedback, I think this kind of article would really benefit from some paragraph breaks and formatting. It's really a minor thing, but it can go a long way if done well, I think. All in all, a great writeup of the first week of action! Can't wait 'til the next! 8.5/10

Hmm, that's a good idea! Let's get on that!

A quick click over to the VHLM standings and league leaders will give you a sense of which players are making a name for themselves so far this season. In this post, however, we'll be looking at 3 quality players who are flying under the radar after one week of play. 1. Nathan Ecker - RW - Houston Bulls @Nathan_8: Though his 6 points in 10 games may not jump off the page just yet, it is worth noting that 5 of those points are goals. Sure, shooting at 21.74% is not likely sustainable for the duration of the season, but then it's also not likely that he continues getting only 1 assist every 10 games. Add to that the fact that he is a rookie who is looking more and more confident with each passing game, don't be surprised if he takes a leap forward in production as the season progresses. Possessing good speed and a great shot, he has the weapons in his arsenal to be a serious player at the VHLM level and beyond. 2. Annie Oaks - RW - Saskatoon Wild @Noodle Enjoyer: 60 shots in 10 games. That's the headline for Annie Oaks so far this season. With a respectable 4 goals and 7 assists, she's had moderate success offensively, but it's not likely she continues shooting at 6.6% for long. Sitting at 5th in the league in shots, there are 25 players who have more than her 4 goals. At some point, those shots are going to start going in, and when they do, we could be looking at an absolute terror for opposing goalies. 3. Aleksanteri Kaskiniemi-Kekkonen - G - Mexico City Kings @Snussu: The .897 save percentage doesn't exactly flatter this 18 year old Finnish netminder, but we're also only 10 games into a long 72 game season. In those 10 games, Kaskiniemi-Kekkonen holds a winning 6-3-1 record as the Kings sit 2nd in the Western Conference and 5th overall. It's still way too early to count out the 2nd overall pick from the S92 VHLM draft. With high potential and a quality blueline in front of him, look for Kaskiniemi-Kekkonen to find the form that made him such a hot commodity in the last offseason. Lauren Lambert for VHL.com Claiming for week of 01/21

Come for the cake, stay for the world domination... I'm good thanks, never been much for karaoke anyway.

The party is apparently hard at work...

Lol, thanks. I sure hope the party doesn't come looking for me

1. How do you feel you've performed thus far into the VHLM season? So far, I think it's been a decent start to the season personally, just trying to get a feel for the game at this level and the points have been coming, which is obviously nice. I need to be a bit more disciplined though, I'm probably taking too many penalties. Definitely not satisfied with our team record so far, but we've got a lot of belief in our locker-room that we can turn that around. The main thing will be to stick with our development plans. There's a lot of young players on our squad so we just have to keep working every day and getting better. 2. Do you have a teammate who you feel you can count on to back you up? He's only been here four games so far, but Abenduct has been an unreal defense partner. He's so reliable defensively and it's really just allowed me to play my game and not have to worry about what my partner is doing. I think we really match well together on the blueline, so yeah, definitely him. But honestly, all my teammates have been incredible so far. 3. Is there a player on an opposing team that has your respect or disdain, if so why? Honestly, Annie Oaks has got my respect in Saskatoon. She's got a wicked shot and was really dangerous in the game we played against them. Definitely someone to watch, I think, in terms of rookies in this league. 4. Is there a team you're particularly interested in getting drafted by? I'll be happy to be drafted by any team in the VHL or VHLE, just a huge honor! It's hard to pick just one, but maybe Calgary since I've got some family there. I'd also be super stoked to play in Sweden for the Malmo Nighthawks. But like I said, I'll be happy whereever I end up. 5. Do you believe your Squad is capable of winning the Founders Cup this year? I do. I think we've got a super strong dressing room with a ton of drive to improve. I really believe that by the end of the season we can be competing for the Founders Cup. 6. Who to you is the scariest opponent right now? (Team/player/goalie) I mean, we've played San Diego twice and lost 2-1 both times. They play such a strong defensive game and don't give us much, so I'd probably go with them as the "scariest" opponent right now. Just tough to play against. 7. What current M player do you feel a sense of rivalry with? I don't think I can call anyone out in particular, haha, but you always just wanna play with a competitive edge and see how you stack up against the best. The better my opponents play, the more I'm motivated to get better, so I think it's kind of a good type of competition. 8. If you had to be stuck on an island with 4 other M players, which would you pick and why? Okay, so it's me, Vencko, cuz he's stupid funny, Ecker, Artav, and... dang, this is kinda hard. I guess I'd bring Abenduct, he's just got such a solid, logical, stabilizing personality so he'd probably keep the rest of us goofs in check. 9. Pick a M team. What would their mascot be? Look like? What would it’s name be? Oh, um, maybe Vegas, haha, they could have a mascot who is just a giant playing card. I think it'd be kinda funny, just this giant ace of spades awkwardly bumping around the arena. I don't know, that's probably a stupid idea. Haha, just call him Ace, that way when he says hello to kids it'll be like, "Ace says hi!"-- Aces high... sorry I gotta stop with the puns, I'm terrible. 10. Is there anything you’d like to say to the amazing new members of the league? I'm super excited to see where our careers take us and I'm proud to share the ice with y'all! 11. What’s been a surprise to you when it comes to the VHL or your experience in it? I've definitely been surprised by the amazing community around the league. People have just been so warm and welcoming and that's just made it really easy to get used to things and feel comfortable. 12. Are there any members you look up to and why? I mean, there's a bunch so it's hard to choose one, but I'm gonna go with my GM AJW. He's just set such a great example for all of us rookies. 13. How has your 2024 new year gone so far? 2024 has been a great year so far, haha, sticking to my resolutions thus far has been a positive-- two weeks down, let's go! But yeah, excited to see what the rest of the year has in store. 14. Anything fun and exciting coming up in life for you? Not really, haha, just the usual grind, at least for a while, but maybe later in the year. I guess we'll see... 15. Your player was abducted by aliens. They probe you and steal important data from your hockey brain. What do the aliens learn about human life on planet earth because of your player? Haha, what a question! They'd probably learn that we think about the most odd, random stuff. I don't envy anyone who gets to read my thoughts, haha, god... what a mess.

99 Canadian out of 368, which 26.9%

Did you know that Greenland is geographically part of the North American continent? For centuries, however, Europe has staked political and cultural claim on the worlds largest island. Denmark has held colonies there since 1721 and it officially became part of Denmark in 1953. In 1979, Greenland gained autonomy from Denmark, being granted Home Rule, and in 2009 this was expanded to Self Rule, allowing the island nation greater governing autonomy, though it remains part of the Kingdom of Denmark. Here are a few interesting facts for you: - The population of our great city, Houston, is approximately 2.3 million residents. - The population of Greenland, by last estimate, is around 56,480. - The island of Greenland encompasses an area of 836,330 square miles (12th largest country on earth). - The land area of Texas, the second largest US state, is 268,596 square miles (Alaska is 665,384 sq. miles). - Greenland has the lowest population density of any nation on earth with 0.36 people per square mile. - The country with the second lowest population density is the Falkland Islands at 1 person per square mile. - Most residents of Greenland were born there, only 11% have moved there from Denmark and other countries. - The population growth of the country is considered stagnant. - There are no roads connecting towns and settlements in Greenland. - Most travel is done by plane, boat, helicopter, snowmobile, or dogsled. In short, (tl;dr) Greenland is a huge country in terms of land mass, and yet practically no one lives there-- save for a plethora of arctic mammals including whales, musk ox, caribou, arctic foxes, hares, and polar bears. And for those few and far between who do live there, the most popular sporting pastimes are considered to be football (soccer), handball, and basketball. Okay, let's get down to brass tacks. There are currently 16 Greenland nationals across the rosters of the VHL, VHLE, and VHLM-- 16 out of 368 currently rostered players, comprising 4.3% of the player population. For comparison's sake, there are currently 76 US born players across the same population, accounting for 20% of the total. And what am I trying to say? Nothing...nothing at all. Look, I'm not trying to draw the ire of the regime. I am but a lowly purveyor of fact and intrigue. It is certainly not lost on me that many intrepid journalists who have gone before have faced dire consequences for writing and implying less, so let me just say this: Greenland good. Greenland great. Greenland green. --speaking of green, how about them Bulls? The past week has been a tough one, particularly for the young Bulls. The early-season off-ice controversy surrounding goalie, Ondrej Vencko, has been well documented, however the young puck stopper hasn't fared much better on the ice so far, claiming an .893 save percentage through 4 starts. In his defense, his counterpart and fellow rookie, Herald Benson, is only marginally better at .895, though he hasn't managed to claim as many points as Vencko who has picked up points in overtime and shootout losses. Let's not get stuck on the goalies, though, as the team in front of them has been less than stellar to start. in a 4-2 loss last night to the Mexico City Kings, the Bulls were outshot 44-26, and took a staggering 9! minor penalties, relinquishing two powerplay goals against which ultimately proved to be the difference. In the second game of the back-to-back, the Bulls tightened up a bit, but still gave up 2 powerplay goals on 3 Kings attempts, falling 4-3 in a close game. Right now, this team is very green with all but one player, Barry McOckiner, not yet having been drafted to the VHL. There have been some signs of life and promise, especially in late addition, Benjamin Abenduct, who is off to a roaring start with 8 points in 4 games. I am also obliged to say that team captain and Greenland born, Trimiskez Artav, has been an excellent offensive contributor so far this season with 5 goals and 5 assists through 10 games, shooting at an impressive 16.67% goal conversion rate. Yay, Greenland. The feeling in the locker room is that these woes will be short lived as the team expects to improve their run of form as their rookies become acclimatized to the pace and physicality of the VHLM. Tonight, Houston will look to bounce back with a pair of games against Mississauga and Saskatoon, both of which have also started the season on the back foot. These are big games for the Bulls as they aim to get back in the win column and start heading north in the standings. Lauren Lambert for VHL.com

This is actually so awesome! I love it, amazing job!

Thanks so much for your kind words and for taking the time to read this! I’ve been very lucky to to have such an amazing team to start on. The stories practically write themselves lol

It seems like a little PR training might go a long way...

Haha, thanks! I wasn't gonna post this one, but I had some spicy quotes and decided to send it

Duly noted.

In a statement to the press today, authorities have released the identity of the strange Czech man who was arrested outside of the Bulls arena earlier this week and found in possession of one pound of premium grade crystal methamphetamine. Valtr Bílý, a known fugitive from Czechia, is wanted in his homeland on numerous charges of drug manufacturing, trafficking, evasion of authorities, and murder. At this time, he remains in the custody of Houston Police while an investigation is still ongoing. It is still how unclear how the man made his way to Houston and authorities have not yet identified the nature of his business in the Bulls’ arena parking lot. Furthermore, Czechia is calling for his immediate extradition. Since Bílý’s arrest, there has been a flurry of speculation surrounding Houston rookie goaltender, Ondrej Vencko, whose flight from Prague, via Frankfurt, landed mere hours before the arrest was made. I’ve been covering this story since it broke and highlighted an interesting quote from Bulls’ assistant captain, Chris Reynolds Jr., in yesterday’s article. Vencko’s record fell to 0-0-2 last night as he surrendered 4 goals in an overtime loss to the Philadelphia Reapers. It’s been a tough start that has only gotten worse. “Vencko has been looking jittery at team skates since joining the team.” This was Bulls GM AJW today when asked about Vencko’s shaky start on the ice. If what AJW says is true, perhaps there may be bigger problems for Vencko than his losing record. In a locker room scrum, rookie Nathan Ecker was asked about how management might be dealing with players who haven’t been attending practices. He answered, citing league policy, “We’d have to keep ‘em for about 3 weeks before we can make any moves, so we’ll see.” Overhearing this, Vencko chimed in, “Weed?! I would like to keep that!” He then proceeded to laugh, almost hysterically. It’s a bad look for a man on a hot seat, and it’s clear that drugs are front of mind. I asked Vencko point blank if he was using drugs and he replied, “No drugs on my end. I swear.” Nearby, Trimeskez Artaz was not buying it, “Yeah, definitely not.” There was clear sarcasm in his tone as he rolled his eyes. When I asked Vencko again whether he was under the influence of any substances, he answered, “Alcohol doesn’t count. I’m Czech, it’s practically in my veins.” “Sorry, just to clarify, what exactly is in your veins?” Vencko declined to comment. “Do you think it’s healthy that you’re consuming alcohol at team practices?” Vencko responded, sounding annoyed, “‘Kay, I’ll get sober.” I pressed on, circling back to his previous choice of words. Here, Vencko declined a second time to comment on implications of methamphetamine injection. When asked whether he was involved in any drug trafficking, he seemed defensive as he snapped, “What? You’re playing hockey and all of a sudden gonna break bad?” “I don’t know, are you?” I asked, prodding for the truth. At this point, Vencko ended the interview. If it’s not clear to you that something shady is going on, maybe you haven’t been paying attention. The combination of Vencko’s strange comments, behaviour, losing record, intoxication, and flippant attitude towards drugs is raising all kinds of red flags. Hopefully management are looking into this situation internally so it doesn’t become something that compromises this Houston locker room. For now, this team still believes that they can compete for a Cup. Whatever is going on with Vencko needs to become a thing of the past, and fast. Notes: - Credit Herald Benson with a bounce back performance. He gave his team a chance to win in a rematch against the Marlins, but the result was the same on the scoreboard as the Bulls fell 2-1 for the second night in a row. - The Bulls also added another defensemen today, Benjamin Abenduct, who is expected to start on the second pairing alongside Lucy Leitner. - *Update* Benjamin Abenduct had 5 points in his first 2 games for the Bulls! Lauren Lambert for VHL.com

Actually sick! Nice job!

Great article! Looking forward to the S92 edition of the WJC already!

Great article! He’s gonna be a heck of a player!

Thanks! I appreciate it!

Nobel Prize winning theoretical physicist, Werner Heisenberg, discovered what became known as the eponymous Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle in 1927. Short of embarrassing myself trying to explain quantum mechanics and particle movement as though I have even the most remote idea what I’m talking about, the way-too-short and extremely oversimplified implication of his discovery is this: You can never be sure of everything. Let me give you an example— if I told you that Bulls rookie goaltender, Ondrej Vencko, posted a .960 save percentage, allowing only 1 goal on 25 shots in his first VHLM start against the San Diego Marlins, you’d likely expect me to tell you next that Houston won the game. Certainly you could say that he put in a performance worthy of a victory…right? Contrast that with the performance of Houston’s other rookie netminder, third round selection, Herald Benson, who posted an .875 and allowed 4 goals on 32 shots. Please don’t get it twisted, I’m not dumping on Benson. I like the guy and I think he’s got a bright future ahead of him, but I think he’d be the first to tell you this was not an ideal individual start to his career. After two games, the Bulls sit at a record of 1-0-1. One of the above goalies claimed a win for his team, while the other took the loss in a shootout. Considering Benson came into S92 as the frontrunner to win the Houston net, could Vencko already be breathing down his neck, threatening to usurp his high draft pedigree only two games into the season— queue the goaltending controversy! Well…not exactly and here’s why. It was Benson who claimed the Bulls’ first win of the season, closing the door when it mattered most and holding out for a 6-4 Bulls victory against the Saskatoon Wild. Vencko, known drug apathist, was saddled with the loss as he failed to make a save against Marlins RW, Dietrich Reingaard, who slotted the puck past him in the second round of the shootout. Certainly, you could make a compelling case that Vencko lacked the goal support that Benson had in the first game. Though Benson proved to be a little leaky, his team helped him out by scoring 6 to nullify the 4 he allowed. For Vencko, the team in front of him was 0-3 on shootout attempts and 0-4 on the power play, managing only 1 goal on 28 shots. Surely the goalie can’t be relied upon to stop the puck AND score goals to win the game? Well…it’s not as though it hasn’t happened , and in the spirit of Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle, you never can be sure that it shouldn’t happen. Hear me out, I’m not saying Vencko needs to provide his own goal support, but the bottom line is this: he lost and Benson won. At the end of the day, a goalie wears the record of his team’s wins and losses, and through two games, it’s Benson who carries the coveted W. And on the topic of carrying, let’s get to what this article is really about, the real reason I fumbled my way through a horrendous metaphor for the Heisenberg Principle. Are we really sure that Ondrej Vencko doesn’t “care” about drugs? I mean, look, a strange Czech man was stopped in the arena parking lot while carrying a pound of the clearest crystal meth you’ll ever see, mere hours after Vencko arrived in Houston from Czechia. For those who don’t know, this was not your average crystal. I spoke to DEA agent Schrader who came all the way to Houston from Albuquerque just to follow this case and he had this to say: “It was like glass. We’re not just talking about some street trash, Chile-P special, peddled by some burnout called Skinny Pete. This was high grade stuff, and whoever is producing it is not in the meth business— they’re in the empire business. 10 bucks says there’s another Czech involved.” Clearly this stuff was cooked up in a camper van out in the boonies, far from prying eyes, probably with bullet holes in the door because that’s just how these things go. Oh, and did I mention that Vencko is Czech? What’s the saying? If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then it’s probably a methamphetamine addict who also happens to be Czech. Did I get that right? Bulls Assistant Captain, Chris Reynolds Jr., was quoted earlier this week as saying, “We gotta get him [Vencko] addicted to getting wins instead.” It’s a telling statement considering Vencko wasn’t able to claim a win in his first outing, and pay attention to Reynolds Jr.’s word choice— “instead.” Instead of what? Folks, there is a goaltending controversy in Houston, but it’s not the one you expected. Are we really just going to take Vencko at his word when he says he “doesn’t care” about drugs? I mean, seriously, “Because I say so,” just isn’t going to cut it. So far he hasn’t demonstrated a winning record and even his teammates seem to be hinting at something going on behind the scenes. To bring it back to old Heisenberg’s Principle, you can never be sure of everything. Some say Vencko is Hasek 2.0. An 0-0-1 record so far says otherwise. At his word, he doesn’t care about drugs— but the surety of his word seems to be drifting further and further out of focus as days and hours go by. Look, I know, “Just because you shot Jesse James, don’t make you Jesse James.” I can’t sit here writing this with any degree of surety about anything, and lest I be accused of picking on one young Czech player, let me just say that there’s at least one other Czech native on this team. Has anyone looked in on Zinek lately? I’ll be following this story closely as the season progresses so stay tuned to see if any more breaking news comes to light. Lauren Lambert for VHL.com 1004 words: claiming PT for week ending on Jan. 21st

This was fun to read, great job! It’s gonna be a fun season!

Great read, thanks for the tips!