Phil

Haha nice sandro continue the updates. And Jardy... David is in England, so that fucker won't do any use. It's okay.. I have one of my close friend's gf's bday party to go to tomorrow at a club and she's bringing her friend and her friend's cousin - so I am totally going for the threesome there. Well I may as well tell you one of the stories about this one. So I live in Toronto. She lives in Oshawa, a couple of 'cities' over... takes about an hour to get to. Regardless, she texted me a couple weeks ago saying she was totally horny and was downtown in Toronto. Now I was exhausted from a long week but my penis is rarely exhausted (except for the minute after coitus). I had gotten home early that night (2:30am) and was all ready for sleepy time. But she kept texting me. I still live with my parents unfortunately but they don't really mind what I do as long as I'm not loud. My mum, like all mother's however is extremely nosey so sometimes it's better to kept things on the DL So I texted her back saying... fine but it's gotta be somewhere close to me. So she picked me up and we headed to the park at the end of my street. The high-school nostaglia washed over me. There is something absolutely charming about fucking in the backseat of a car, parked in a lonely park. It was great. Almost orgasmic.. because that's when the cops came. In desperation to put at least my shirt back on (I did it like a champion - inside-out AND backwards), I forgot about my pants. So the cop walked up to the steamed up windows and peered in. He asked if we had any ID... and i was like - SHIT i left it at home (in my head) and really didn't want to explain this to my parents without pants on... luckily - he asked me if I lived close by and just said "Now you gotta make like Michael Jackson and rape a child" Nah, he said: "and Beat It" - but the former would have been more amusing. So fuck that. We were cock-blocked by the longdick of the law. Until I was finished off in my own driveway. it jsut re-inforced the fact that I miss high-school Also now - yea, it's gotta be ended.

I've been hooking up with this 32 year-old woman recently. Pretty awesome time. She's a cousin of one of my long-time friends who I see pretty much every summer. It's all good right? Well I just found out she's married. With two kids. She's said she wants to spoil me. I'm all for fuck-buddies etc but this is...different... it's not like usual. And ofc, she won't leave me alone because, let's face it, I'm fantastic. Apparently, they are both unhappy with the marriage and the only reason they are together is because of the kids. I need to rid myself of this situation... pronto

He's no Shaw/Kanou

What a true Arcehole

Yen Fang was more of a woman.

So he was every 15-year old boy. If the dick isn't raw you aren't doing it right.

Also, Spangs, in order to get a proper response from me, you'd probably want to move this over to League Talk, or Suggestions. The Thunderdome is probably the worst place to put it.. .and if I'm paraphrasing gorlab right: You don't even know the purpose of a thunderdome you VHL cuntwaffles!. <3

Fuck both of these fades. You both are a bunch of idiots who would likely slap a dog in the face and then instantly console him with cuddles, only to slap him again tomorrow. Because I love dogs, this relationship between the two leagues must end. It is clearly unhealthy and you are only dragging yourself down.FUCK SIM LEAGUES THE RIGGERY IS TREACHEROUS

Green I enjoy your Aristocats references

Really!? Well done svec! Now we just need to get James one dammit!

Happy Off-Season everyone! We are approaching our 40th season... that ridiculous. I want to thank all the members that are older (in terms of the VHL) than me. You fellows are our rocks.

So Germany scored 4 goals in 4:06 minutes of football. The other three teams scored 1 goal in 210 minutes of football.

Unfortunately for them, the Netherlands fucked up. They played way too negatively with pretty much an 8-1-1 formation. Robben was their only danger man up front. Argentina's move to take off Higuain was strange. Aguero was clearly not match fit and so Messi was the only threat - which the dutch basically triple teamed. I hate seeing matches decided on penalties but ALMOST predicted this final. It's going to be a very different match on Sunday

You remember in EA Sports NHL when they introduced Star power? Where your best players get insanely good for the last 5 minutes of the 3rd? (2004 was is?) Yea well, Jardy's created RIG POWER!!!

Then I'll speak: This was coming for a long time. Brazil have not looked impressive the entire World Cup. Their only good thing about their defense was Thiago Silva and their only creative piece was Neymar. Fred's been an absolute joke and Oscar's been thoroughly disappointing. Just glad it happened as late as the semis

Team Building Like You've Never Seen Riga is a team known for its activity. It was widely stated all through Season 37 and 38 that they had the most active team in the VHL. Every single member is involved in the league, not just in the locker-room, but as writers, blog artists etc within the VHL community. Therefore it is really no surprise that they have the oddest form of team building exercises in the VHL. I recently asked the budding star defenseman Phil Villeneuve if he could provide an example of one of the most peculiar exercises that they have done. He was kind enough to write out his answer for us here at VHL.com. Below is an excerpt from that answer: What with the VHL being an international league, we get players from all over. This creates a unique opportunity to explore different cultures and customs. What Mike [szatkowski, Riga GM] loves to do is get the team on a plane and fly us to one of our homelands. It is up to the player who has 'home ice advantage', (as we call it) to decide where to go. This gives us a great way of seeing the world through more than hotels and ice rinks. Did I mention that we can bring our families? So after being eliminated from the playoffs and my bizarre golfing outing with Smalling, Mike picked me to lead us somewhere in Britain. This is another reason I love this idea. The rookies and sophomores, 'small fish', if you will, get a chance to take the lead. It's also great to interact with the families, wife, girlfriends, kids of the other players. It really establishes a great sense of connectivity and camaraderie. I decided to take everyone to Alton Towers, the famous Amusement Park in Britain. It's got something for everyone there, young and old alike. So the team buses zipped along the English countryside towards our destination. Not exactly the most typical of British attractions Now, there are certain combinations of words that fire the imagination, and others that don't. For all you know, Molford Hall might be the most magical place on earth, with chocolate lakes and a giraffe rodeo, but you aren't going to make a detour based on the name, so the sign on the hard shoulder zips by, ignored. Spot the words 'Eden Ostrich World' however, and you're cutting left across traffic, rescheduling your plans for the afternoon, and excitedly jiggling about in your seat like a five-year old full of Sunny Delight. It was that sign that made me say 'Bollocks to Alton Towers'. And so we found ourselves 20 minutes later at the entrance to a much more British-kind-of-day-out. Anyone with a rudimentary grasp of zoology will confirm that ostriches are the funniest animals on the planet. Freud can stick to his theories on humour wherever he fancies - there's just something inherently comic about a bird that is as big as a person. Anticipation of hilarious man-to-bird confrontation was high as we paid the 40p for the ostrich feed. But the secret of comedy is, of course, timing. You aren't presented with the ostriches straight away. There are many activities for the kids and adults alike to participate in. We had a race through a maze of chicken wire (talk about making use of what you've got). There were rope slides, tyre swings, go-karts - the type of unsupervised playground equipment you thought was made illegal 20 years ago. Best of all is a dangerous-looking combine harvester brooding rustily in the corner of the farmyard with tempting steps and ride-on appeal. 'Please supervise your children at all times' reads a legally cautious note screwed to its side. Bah! This is just the sort of make-shift climbing frame on which decades of British have grazed their knees. Who could begrudge the next generation the chance to learn from sharp experience? The next part involved gazing upon the massive ostrich eggs. Of course, Brennan [McQueen] asked how long it would take to boil one. Surprisingly, the lovely lad at the information bureau replied 40 minutes would suffice. In the next hut there are the ostrich chicks, however they are all in the same enclosure as the ducklings and goslings, making it much more entertaining. You are feeding a fluffy yellow mallard when this doe-eyed, crew-cut thing the size of a small dog muscles its way in to get some nibbles. [Robin] Gow grew so attached to one of them that when we went to move on he tightly hugged the ostrich he had named Olaf goodbye, literally squeezing the shit out of him forcing him to retreat back to the bus to change his shirt. Robert [GowIII] laugh the loudest - and longest. Within the minute, it got more serious. The hut with the adult ostriches was very large. The males look like the ones seen in Disney's Fantasia while females and younger ones look brown and scruffy, like Ken Dodd's head stuck on a stick. Ken Dodd, an English comedian, singer-songwriter The birds' enormous eyes and binocular vision means they are constantly tilting their heads to focus on you. They seem fascinated and mystified by you. It's hard not to be flattered by it. What could be more exaggeratedly British than this high-octane version of feeding the ducks? We reveled in it. We explored the edges of our fears. As Malcom [spud] will testify to, one of the most stressful experiences a human being can go through, next to bereavement, divorce, and moving house while it's on fire, is facing an ostrich who's worked out that the food's coming from the little paper bag in your hand. It's all part of the game. I must admit, I have never before seen or heard about anything HALF as ludicrous as this team-bonding exercise but it apparently works. A poll done by VHL.com showed that Riga is the happiest team, has the most sense of belonging, and that moral is highest by almost two-fold. Whatever Mr Szatkowski's is doing over there - he should keep it up.

no Ashley Young in there... He's going. Calling it now!

Toronto hometown boys. GOGOGO

Yep. Bio worth a max of 10, RP worth a max of 8. Bio is essentially life story and basic strengths and weaknesses to the players' game. RP is more in-depth looks at the players pros and cons. It can include made up stats from before the VHLm or you can use VHLm stats if you'd like. It's all in the rubric. That reminds me.. I should probably write my RP.