The Red Menace

[NickSunderbruch 392]

      A spectre is haunting the VHL, the spectre of a young Russian goalie in the likes of The Red Menace. Born in Stalingrad Russia this goal keeper is a force to be reckoned with, using his lazer sight eyes and his inhuman reaction time, Menace absolutely has it all. 

 

     The Russian spent many of his early days in the freezing cold winters catching snowflakes out of the air with pin point accuracy. One day while doing this a KGB agent noticed how precise Menace was and how quickly his eyes tracked the snow particles around him. Astounded with this find the KGB recruited Menace and honed his talents for an even greater purpose... to serve the motherland as a hockey player.

 

      Using all the high tech training equipment the Soviet Union could buy, the young boy quickly grew his talents to that of a man. Stopping shots of nearly 150kmh by the time he was seven years of age. This goal tending prodigy was the most prolific player the government had ever produced, showing up even the most veteran goalies the country could offer. 

 

     Once The Red Menace turned 18 he decided it was time to show the world the power that is mother Russia. He dominated in exhibition games in the states, gaining the attention of Philadelphia Reapers GM @KaleebtheMighty impressing him so much that he offered him a contract to play backup and a chance to further develop into a star.

 

    Menace was asked what he thought of moving to Philadelphia and here's his response. 

"Nothing beats Mother Russia, however I'm quite excited to show the world what my country is truly capable of, and prove the pig dogs wrong." 

When asked to elaborate, he opened a flasl from the inside if his fur coat (which if I may add was DRIPPIN) and proceeded to drink it and walk away. 

 

     Only time will tell if this young man will be who his country says he is, and if he'll perform as expected. The VHL is the toughest league in the world and packed full of the most incredible players to have ever worn a pair of skates and carried a stick. Menace will enjoy his time in Philly before next seasons entry draft where he'll likely end up on a new team, or even in the all new VHLE. 

 

     This wild Russian seems to also enjoy the city as he was spotted drunk at a nightclub off of Kensington just earlier tonight the same day he flew into the city. As reporters rushed to get an interview with the player he met them in the eyes and he took his bottle of Svedka and finished it off, mind you it was still half full, stood up, and let out the longest and loudest belch the city has ever heard. 

 

Will this Russian defeat the North Americans with his KGB training? Will he be sober for his games? And is this article five hundred words yet? Find out next week when we take a more indepth look at his gameplay in Russia and his style of play. Thank you for joining me on this adventure, but I think I hear my dad coming home from the bar. I have to grab my hemet and jockstrap. Anyways stay warm and stay Icey, Seacrest out. 

[fromtheinside 1,290]

Loving this! Great work as always Nicky boy, you're one of the most creative writers in our community my friend!

[BOOM 8,823]

Those sigs bring tears to my eyes.

 

Nice read @NickSunderbruch

[Victor 11,037]

Sounds like Rara