Senior Admin Will 4,660 Posted August 14, 2014 Senior Admin Share Posted August 14, 2014 (edited) Helsinki Makes Change Amidst Awful Season It's safe to say that the Helsinki Titans have a had a terrible season thus far. Past the midway point of Season 39, the Titans are currently sitting in last place in the European Conference, with a weak 16-19-3 record, for a total of 35 points. As we have seen throughout the season, this poor performance is certainly taking its toll on players and team morale. Today, realizing that playing like this the rest of the season may be detrimental to the Titans future, the Helsinki management decided to make a change to hopefully bring some light onto the otherwise dark Helsinki bench. It was announced by General Manager STZ that long-time Helsinki coach, Otso Kallio, would be let go. Coach Kallio in one of his last games as Titans Head Coach. We aren't entirely sure of the specifics of this news, but we can only assume it is an attempt to salvage the rest of the season. However, our analysts are quite skeptical of this. One of them even believes that this is a ploy from the Helsinki management to shift the blame on the coach and make the players feel better so that they will perform better. While that is a pretty bold accusation, it is definitely in the realm of possibility with the shady folks who currently inhabit the Helsinki offices. Of course, it's always possible that they just no longer felt Kallio was doing his job. The firing of the coach is extremely common in other leagues, such as the NHL, but not so much in the VHL. Typically VHL coaches serve until they either retire, or decide to leave on their own terms. In the NHL, however, every coach essentially has a shelf life with any given team. Kallio was actually hired nine long seasons ago by Mitch Higgins in his inaugural season as Titans General Manager. Kallio lead the team to a Continental Cup in Season 34, and is credited with much of the success of several previous and prominent Helsinki players, such as Ethan Osborne and Tuomas Tukio. Although he declined our request for interview, he did issue the following statement: "It deeply saddens me to be leaving what has been such a large part of my life for the past many years under such unfortunate circumstances. However, this is what is best for the team and I respect that" While we were once again declined for interview by Helsinki GM STZ, we did manage to reach Helsinki rookie and assistant captain, Don Draper. He had this to say when we asked him about the sudden departure of Kallio: "It's tough to see him go. I got to know him pretty well since I started playing for the Titans and he was a real class act. Unfortunately, I just don't think he was suited for this Helsinki team. I'm not saying he is a bad coach, he is fantastic, it's just that he may not be suited for this particular group of guys." We are told by senior Helsinki officials that, for now, General Manager Wong will be fulfilling the duties of Head Coach in an interim capacity. The hunt is on for a replacement and an announcement is expected to be made in the coming weeks. Edited August 14, 2014 by Draper eaglesfan036 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Munk 1,298 Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 lol u guise sugh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admin Victor 10,849 Posted August 14, 2014 Admin Share Posted August 14, 2014 Wong should hire Fong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Higgins 3,618 Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Svoboda_3 Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 Wong should hire Fong. To play with his schlong? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Munk 1,298 Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 To play with his schlong? I hear he wears a thong Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Svoboda_3 Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 While using his bong Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admin Victor 10,849 Posted August 14, 2014 Admin Share Posted August 14, 2014 The key question is: is it long? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Svoboda_3 Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 That's just wrong Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Munk 1,298 Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 We should turn this into a song Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Svoboda_3 Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 A sing-along? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admin Victor 10,849 Posted August 14, 2014 Admin Share Posted August 14, 2014 A dance for King Kong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Svoboda_3 Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 Need a tag-along? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Munk 1,298 Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 Are we going to Hong Kong? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Admin Will 4,660 Posted August 14, 2014 Author Senior Admin Share Posted August 14, 2014 munk has a small dong Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gorlab 4,321 Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 combo breaker Frank 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Munk 1,298 Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 combo breaker dis is y u dnt have any friends i h8 u graper Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Admin Will 4,660 Posted August 14, 2014 Author Senior Admin Share Posted August 14, 2014 dis is y u dnt have any friends i h8 u graper ilu funk im just jellin' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admin Victor 10,849 Posted August 14, 2014 Admin Share Posted August 14, 2014 fuck you all I didn't have a chance to use ping pong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Munk 1,298 Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 fuck you all I didn't have a chance to use ping pong. Victor 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Da Trifecta 1,896 Posted August 16, 2014 Share Posted August 16, 2014 Content: 3/3 Pretty nice to see some things changing in Helsinki. Don't change too much because we still need to beat up on somebody. Grammar: 2/2 Nothing out of the ordinary here Appearance: 1/1 Oooh pics and bold Final: 6/6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank 5,089 Posted August 17, 2014 Share Posted August 17, 2014 Claimed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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