Post Draft Workout

[der meister 2,937]

               I find myself in a gym, sitting on a rather uncomfortable wooden stool, back against the wall, notebook on my leg. My pen spins in my right hand, a habit of an idle brain. The gym is bright, noisy, and smells like disinfectant trying, and failing, to mask the smell of sweaty bodies. It gives me painful flashbacks to high school, and, generally speaking, is the last place I'd expect to find myself.

 

               Half a dozen paces away, Ryuji Sakamoto – native of Tokyo, Japan, ice hockey prospect, noted troublemaker – is punching a speedbag with enough tempo that it's matching the pounding in my head. I don't like early mornings, and the stress of being in a place that reminds me of high school is enough to give me a headache that feels like it's about to split like the San Andreas.

 

               For his part, sweat pours from Sakamoto's bleach-blond hair. His white tee shirt clings to his back, exposing his shoulder blades with each strike. A normal, every day Sakamoto is an unlit firecracker, ready to go off at the slightest provocation. The Sakamoto who stands before me today is an M80 with a lit fuse. He hasn't said a word to me since knocking on my hotel door at 4:45 this morning.

 

               It's the day after the VHLM Draft, a day Sakamoto has spoken of many times in the past few weeks. His excitement was palpable, his expectations sky-high. He fully expected to be a first round selection in the VHLM Draft, and likely one of the first five players chosen. With each successive pick last night, I could see Sakamoto's jaw clench just a little harder, his expression darken just a little further. When his name was finally called at 14^th overall to the Mexico City Kings, Sakamoto grunted and shut off the television. I wonder what his reaction would have been like if the VHLM Draft had been an in-person affair as opposed to a televised one, but it's not hard to imagine that the rest of the media would have written stories about the "bad-temper" and "obvious displeasure" shown by the young defenseman.

 

               Another ten minutes pass before Sakamoto finally lets the speedbag slow. He leans forward, puts his hands on his knees, breathes heavily for half a minute. Then he grabs a towel and his stainless steel water bottle and makes his way over to me. For the first time since last night, his anger seems to have faded, at least a little.

 

               He sits in the stool next to me, radiating heat like a midwinter furnace. He downs at least half of his water, wipes his forehead with the towel, stares off into the distance. I'm content to leave him with his thoughts. "You know," he says, breaking the silence a moment later, "I'm not angry to be drafted by Mexico City. I don't really know much about the team or the city. It'll be a chance to live somewhere else for a while."

 

               He takes another gulp of water and stands up, setting the mostly-empty bottle on the stool. He moves toward the leg press station, but stops and looks at me over his shoulder. "I'm just gonna do everything I can to make all of the other teams look like assholes for passing me by."

 

 

Edited January 26, 2022 by der meister
Fixed a typo

[atw2592 286]

Reviewing: Holy hell, what a piece of writing! I put myself in Sakamoto's body while I was reading this and I really felt like I was there. Congrats on getting drafted as well, it really is a rush of emotion as I was drafted last year at the back end of the draft because I was a late joiner so I didn't really get the full experience. This helps make up for that though with this amazing piece of writing. 10/10 would give it an 11 if I could.

[Doomsday 4,043]

Review:

 

Your skill as a writer is on full display with this piece! You did a brilliant job setting the scene with descriptions and emotions that made it very easy to place yourself there using your imagination, which is something that really gets taken for granted when writing in the VHL. The story flowed very well, paced just right to keep the reader's attention, and the narration truly made you feel as if you were there in that gym too. 

 

There were no grammatical issues that I noticed, so even if there somehow were some, it didn’t detract from your work at all. This was masterfully done, great job!

 

10/10

[MetalToday 266]

This was a really good article, well written, and well thought out. I did not spot any mistakes, so you clearly edited it well, and knew what you would say. You have a clear skill in writing and I’m excited to see where else you bring this. I like how you changed the color of the quotes, made it easy to find what Sakamoto what saying about the situation. Hopefully I see him play well in the coming years! 10/10

 

[Kisslinger 342]

Review 10/10

Great Job! This is a very nice piece of writing. The article flows well and looks nice. The grammar and spelling is super well done. I really felt like I was your player while reading this media spot. The colour change on the quotes were a very nice touch. I honestly could not find any mistakes and I think this media spot is near perfect! I am very sure your player will prove to all those teams that skipped on you that they made a big mistake.  I am excited to see your players journey. good luck this season.