SHA/VHL Dream Team

[Enorama 2,038]

Man it's been months (a year maybe?) since I've actually written a media spot. I figured this would be as good a time as any to drag myself out of retirement and throw together what I deem to be the most enigmatic team in VHL history. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you team Simulation Hockey Association.

 

Oh Sens - Dakota Lamb - Bogdan Trunov

Germano Henchoz - Kristof Welch

β-SHA G1

 

For those of you who don't know, the Simulation Hockey Association (SHA) is an online EHM league. I've long been recruiting from this part of the internet, but the SHA had such a long chain of recruitment that you could honestly build a second team with guys that were across both leagues (I checked, you absolutely could).

 

For the purposes of this exercise, I specifically chose people who were in the SHA first and joined the VHL because either myself or someone down my chain referred them. This disqualifies people like myself, TukTuk, and ferk, who spent at least some time as a GM in the SHA, but were VHL members first. At first glance, this is actually a pretty damn good first line in their respective peaks. Just ignore the fact that we've got no goalie. Might have to toss my old friend Askarov in net tbh.

 

Before I go down the list of those who made the cut, here's a brief list of honourable mentions, guys who fit my criteria but weren't good enough to cut the starting 5 based entirely on criteria that even I don't know:

Ramarod Ramirez @Ominous - yeah, not too surprised this didn't last long

Florent Vericel @dart - if he ever gets his head screwed on straight and stops living in fear of gorlab, this guy's got real potential

chris foley @Firekiss - the epitome of consistency. I only learned last night that he updated through an entire full career.

Kjell Nilsson @glass - "wah I want to stay in the VHLM and not play for the Dragons"

Theodore Hoffman @snackhero - better than glass because he actually played a season in D.C.

Liam Flaten @flatl99 - actually put in some good time in D.C., much appreciated

 

Now, onto the actual roster.

LW - Oh Sens @osens

Sens ended up retiring just above 700 TPE, and with Aberg well above 500 already, I think he'll be one of the first EHM-VHL transfers to qualify for pension. I know there's myself and Dakota, but is there anyone else? Without looking, I think Philliefan came short.

Anyways, this player followed a pretty straightforward path through the VHL, peaking with three straight PPG+ seasons in Toronto, bookended by short stints in Helsinki and Riga. No awards to speak of, not even cups, so Mr. Sens is likely going to waddle off into the abyss without much fanfare.

 

C - Dakota Lamb @dlamb

Yeah he doesn't need his back patted anymore. He did some stuff, lied a bit about free agency, no big deal.

 

RW - Bogdan Trunov @qripll

Trunov slides out of his natural centre position to the right wing to overload our first line with talent. This guy seems to be a Warsaw lifer barring that one trade request, and has already far outearned what my personal expectations were for him. I'm personally really hoping he breaks the 1000 TPE barrier, that'd be great to see.

 

D - Kristof Welch @Juice

I think you guys all know who Juice is. He started out wanting to only play on one team in his career, and at first he was really interested in VHL/M management as well. Where is he now? Traded twice and signed to a new team in FA once + stepped down from VHLM GMing within a season or two of starting. What a career  

Greatest Veigar player on the planet.

 

D - Germano Henchoz @RicoTheTrapGod

Another Dragons legend, currently firing away in the VHLE's Rome Gladiators. Stopped earning at a really unfortunate time, in my opinion, and only gets the nod over Flaten because he created more recently and is still kicking around the league. Fun fact, I actually traded for him at one point, meaning both of these defensemen ended up on D.C.'s roster, but only via trade. Not that interesting I guess.

 

Any way, that's the story of the greatest roster to ever grace the VHL. If you think I'm wrong, fuck you.

 

Thanks.

 

736 words.