Does the Concept of Time Exist In the VHL?

[Doomsday 4,048]

Does the Concept of Time Exist In the VHL?

 

First of all, hope you enjoyed that obnoxiously oversized image. But, on to the actual topic, time is a funny concept in the VHL. This is a league that is quickly approaching its 90th season, and in real-time, is older than some of the current members in it. That just blows my mind, especially when me and some other sim league vets think back to how quickly some (read: 99%) of these leagues fizzled out super quickly. For someone like me that loves to write about league history, some of these events are going back what would be over fifty years ago. We're talking about an equivalent to games that were being played in the 1970s, which first, means Jesus Christ, it's been nearly fifty years since the Flyers won a Cup. Secondly, those are players that would be pretty damn old right about now. We'd probably be getting push notifications every so often about a Hall of Famer player from that era passing away. Then you account for the fact that there are three decades of players before this... there are loads of players who would be dead now. Man, that's such a weird thought.

 

Additionally, careers are limited to just eight seasons. Hockey is a sport where players routinely play double this amount, so that really makes things seem out of whack in retrospect. Then again, we all know why it must be this way. We need new prospects in order to have strong draft classes on the regular, to keep league parity going, all that fun stuff. So, does that mean every single VHL player have something happen to them in their eighth season in the VHL? Some sort of freak, Final Destination type injury that immediately ends their playing career? Back in the day, some members role-played that their player was going to play in the NHL, and was leaving the VHL to do so, but that isn't as entertaining as a guy having to retire because he severely burned himself while ironing a shirt that he happened to be wearing at the time.

 

So, yeah. Time is a really weird thing here in the VHL universe it seems.

 

Oh yeah, no Jethro Novacek outro here. This wasn't some fancy, professionally done sports article, this was straight from the mind of Doom, no filter. There's no need for me to write an outro for that, except for the fact that I've seemingly already done so, so there. There's your outro.

[Gustav 6,140]

I'm also going to point out that you set your player's age once, when you create, and that never changes. 

 

On 2/19/2023 at 8:46 PM, Doomsday said:

a guy having to retire because he severely burned himself while ironing a shirt that he happened to be wearing at the time.

 

I also googled this because I knew this allegedly happened to someone at some point and apparently John Smoltz says this didn't happen...but I still think it's funny to believe it.

[Beketov 8,664]

1 hour ago, Gustav said:

and that never changes

I mean sometimes I accidentally tick off the “update age” box in the initial update so it might age them up, I’m not sure. Not that age does anything.

[Gustav 6,140]

54 minutes ago, Beketov said:

I mean sometimes I accidentally tick off the “update age” box in the initial update so it might age them up, I’m not sure. Not that age does anything.

 

On one hand I know for a fact (don't ask) that Smitty was 16 when drafted and is now listed as 25. So whoever was rolling things over a while ago was apparently doing it pretty consistently.

 

On the other hand I'm almost 100% positive that Vandelay has always been 33. 

[N0HBDY 1,013]

Boomer league

[Doomsday 4,048]

17 hours ago, Gustav said:

I also googled this because I knew this allegedly happened to someone at some point and apparently John Smoltz says this didn't happen...but I still think it's funny to believe it.

 

It is 100% a plausible behavior of a drunk man, which is why it remains true to me. It's too entertaining to not be real.