Legacy Agency Makes Surprise Return

[Will 4,604]

BIRMINGHAM, ENGLAND - 

 

Heads were turned in the hockey world yesterday as an old agency rumored to be defunct made the surprise announcement that they were taking on a new player. The Will Agency (WA), an old agency that represented previously a couple of high profile players before hitching their wagon to a series of relative failures, announced yesterday that they would be representing up-and-comer Tommy Shelby of Birmingham. 

 

In a statement to press, WA spokesperson Robert Roberts had this to say:

 

"We're pleased to make a return to the VHL landscape. On account of our disgust with the poor performance of our most recent client, we needed to take some time to regroup as an organization. We made the not so difficult decision to fire all of our scouts and spent the ensuing months investing heavily in AI and data analytics. Today we are confident that we are  the most cutting-edge and sophisticated agency in the market with 100% of our decisions being made by AI. We hope to make an impactful return to the league and our AI is confident that Tommy Shelby is the man to do it." 

 

While it remains to be seen what kind of an impact the 22 year-old Tommy Shelby will have, the performance of  WA's more recent clients casts significant doubt on the agencies judgement. Let's have a look at WA's previous clients. 

 

[The Original] Don Draper (S38) - A chronic underachiever that never won a cup and whose only real accomplishment was a couple of Top Leader awards, Don Draper was a stalwart force on the Helsinki blue line for a few competitive seasons. 

 

Aleksi Koponen (S45) - Aleksi Koponen was a tough 2-way forward who, unlike Draper, did manage to pick up some hardware. Koponen helped lead Helsink to back-to-back cups is Seasons 45 and 46. Later in his career, he led the league in points with Calgary in Season 51.

 

John Locke (S53) - Known for not spending much time training, John Locke somewhat ironically became WA's greatest success and racked up an impressive awards cabinet. In the VHLM he led the league in Goals, Assists and Points in a single season. He earned Top Rookie upon his entry to the VHL and went on to win 4 Continental Cups with Riga and Helsinki. He led the league in goals twice and took home an MVP and a playoff MVP. 

 

Ho Lee Fook (S54) - Ho Lee Fook had a long career, won a cup and put up some decent numbers....in the VHLM. He just never quite made it to the big leagues. 

 

Will Clarke (S69) - A low impact player, Clarke managed to ride the coat tails of better players to win 3 Continental Cups with 3 different teams but spent most of his time on the bench and contributed little.  

 

Commodus (S81)  - A total failure, Commodus played a season of VHLM in Yukon. During his time in the North, Commodus developed an irrational hatred of ice and determined he could never step foot in a rink again. 

 

In time, we'll find out if Tommy Shelby will be a John Locke or a Commodus. 

 

[Banackock 7,658]

WA

[Daniel Janser 1,983]

4 hours ago, Will said:

that we are  the most cutting-edge

Sorry was the first thing I thought of reading these words...

[Victor 10,550]

Clarke was the glue

[Daniel Janser 1,983]

Will Clarke, the only player to win three consecutive CC with three different franchises...