Claimed:Three Unrelated Events [Final 6/6]

[Higgins 3,618]

Three Unrelated Events

 

DON'T

Don't count out the Helsinki Titans. Seriously, this team is poised to make a run for a playoff spot in the European conference. The only problem is that they apparently cannot trade their goaltender, Mike Szatkowski Jr., until half way through the season due to salary cap limitations. This is a major problem for the Titans because Szatkowski will be taking games away from the infamous HEL G. If HEL G were given the reigns for the entire season he could put the Titans ahead of the Cologne Express by himself. Then you factor in the supporting cast on defense of Dick Whitman paired alongside Penis Anthony Hudson and you've got a D-core that could only be stopped by the undrafted Cawkh Blawka. On forward the Titans are running one of the deepest units in all of pro-simulation sports. Tyson Stokes and Oskars Harumpf are ecstatic to finally be rid of the cancers that were Jackson Miller and James Faraday. The duo of Stokes and Harumpf should be able to run away with the scoring title this season, easily obtaining 250 points a piece. In the front office we have Don Drapers alter ego who will be rigging games on weekends to give the team a little extra advantage, which will result in a record setting 144 point season for the Titans.

 

WAKE

It is time for Jardy to wake up from his annual off-season black out. Jardy Buncleworth is known worldwide for his disappearing act during the off-season. Some say he goes into a deep sleep to recover from the sleepless nights of riggery throughout the long 72 game season. Others say he meets with STHS creator, Simon Tremblay, at an unknown location in France to discuss the future of STHS. Obviously none of that is true at all, we all know that Jardy goes on an epic 5 day bender filled with Canadian beer, exotic Saskatchewan women, racist story telling, and the occasional gay bar. Then he goes into a week long 'hibernation' if you will, but it's more of a black out state to be honest. The process to get back into the swing of rigging again is intense and complex. It consists of driving tractors across the vast plains of western Canada, followed by self induced isolation in the simtop room.

 

THE BEAR

The coolest captain in Seattle Bear history has finally been inducted to the Hall of Fame. This induction now puts the final touch on my first player in the VHL and is one of my top accomplishments in the league. I would like to thank Greg Harbinson for trading for me and saving me from the wasteland of the Riga Reign, otherwise this induction would never happen. Now with my third player I am back on the Seattle Bears, being traded here only days before Higgins was inducted to the Hall of Fame. If this isn't a sign of good things to come in Seattle, then I don't what would be. James Faraday is far from being a Hall of Fame caliber player, but winning the next cup with Seattle is all I need. Also I've been looking around the Bears locker room for Greg, but I can't find him anywhere. Can someone please tell him to stop hiding.

 

This was a really busy week for me. Finding out that Helsinki was rebuilding, being traded to Seattle, setting up the VHLM sim from scratch, preparing the VHFL Beta, and other random things. Last minute weird media spots always treat me though. Have a good one.

[Phil 5,111]

Thoroughly entertaining read mind you. Do these last minutes more often. 

[Fire Tortorella 2,653]

ur a wasteland

[eaglesfan036 4,593]

higgly 2 gud

[Laflamme 376]

Content: 3/3- I see you last minute wrote this, well i tip my hat to you sir. This was a very good read and i enjoyed it a lot. 

 

Grammar: 2/2- Nothing i can see worth deducting marks. 

 

Appearance: 1/1 Looks good, I love the Message in sub titles going down the article with pictures. 

 

Final: 6/6 

[Will 4,660]

Dick Whitman. Hm, if only we could get him to join the league. 

[fever95 333]

#FREEHELG

[Victor 10,831]

Don't wake the bear, you won't like it when it's active.

[CoachReilly 688]

Claimed