KENDRICK E. TSBAGSUPH-DIKS LEFT OFF OF THE DRAFT RANKING BY KENDRICK [Reviewed]

[Tsbagsuph 62]

KENDRICK E. TSBAGSUPH-DIKS LEFT OFF OF THE DRAFT RANKING BY KENDRICK

 

This media spot will not have graphics because it is a serious topic.

 

Kendrick E. Tsbagsuph-Diks is pissed with hockey analyst Kendrick, and with good reason.  Kendrick, responsible for the VHL Scouting Center report, identified Kendrick E. Tsbagsuph-Diks as the 10^th best prospect.  This is considering a multitude of factors such as TPE, TPE, and TPE.  Despite Kendrick E. Tsbagsuph-Diks being the 10^th best prospect, he was not projected as the 10^th pick in the draft, nor the 9^th pick, nor the 8^th pick.  It is unknown where Kendrick E. Tsbagsuph-Diks was projected in the scouting report.  Why did this happen?  Kendrick clearly has a grudge against Kendrick E. Tsbagsuph-Diks.  In this article, we will investigate a few possible reasons.

 

 

1)      Tyson Kohler, the player of Kendrick, plays for the Cologne Express.  They draft at 5^th and probably don’t draft for a while (full confession, I haven’t looked at when they draft next).  Kendrick is obviously not optimistic about the prospect of drafting Kendrick E. Tsbagsuph-Diks and is trying to talk him down in order to lower his value and pick him up at… maybe 17^th overall???

 

 

2)      Kendrick hates Newfies.

 

 

3)      Kendrick is still pissed about Kendrick E. Tsbagsuph-Diks sleeping with his sister.  Kendrick E. Tsbagsuph-Diks slept with Jackie Kendrick, but to be fair, he did call her afterwards.  He called her 6 times, left her 28 texts, tried to add her on Facebook, and searched for her on LinkedIn.  So far, he has not gotten to her.  Why won’t she call?  I took her on a nice date.  We talked, we laughed, I was a total gentleman.  She had the lobster and I even paid for it.  You know what?  I don’t even care.  She had a perfectly good thing and if she can’t acknowledge it, than she doesn’t deserve me.  Fuck her.  I have tons of options!  I could date anyone I want.  I will date anyone I want… I’m so lonely.

 

 

4)      Tyson may be afraid of Kendrick E. Tsbagsuph-Diks’ skill.  Due to this, he wants to push Kendrick E. Tsbagsuph-Diks’ expectations and media-hype as low as possible.  Of course he wants to push his stock down.  It’s a gutless move.  It’s a move I’d expect from someone connected to Jackie Kendrick.  Anyone associated with Jackie Kendrick is obviously the scum of the earth.  In fact, I’m surprised Kendrick has the job as VHL scout.  He and Jackie are probably addicted to meth or some other low-brow ghetto drug.  Why won’t Jackie call?

 

 

5)      I miss Jackie.

 

 

6)      I would give her everything she could ever want.

 

 

7)      I’ve bought a golden retriever on Thursday and called her Jackie.

 

 

8)      Will she ever come back to me?

 

 

9)      I’ve carved her name into my wall.

 

 

10)   I know about Derek.  I’ve seen him on your Instagram.

 

 

11)   Is this because I farted at dinner?  It was the chair, not me.  I swear.

 

 

12)   Just call me.  I deserve another chance and I promise I won’t blow it.

 

 

13)   God dammit, I’m calling in sick to practice tomorrow.  I can’t be expected to perform with all this on my mind.  If anyone wants to join me, I’ll be drinking Cognac in my underwear tomorrow.

 

 

So these 13 reasons likely explain why Kendrick decided to leave Kendrick E. Tsbagsuph-Diks out of his top 10 ranking.  Pretty biased and I expect more from employees of the VHL.  Grow-up!

 

Edited May 6, 2016 by Tsbagsuph

[DollarAndADream 3,356]

#conspiracy

[Kendrick 4,741]

I'm not even mad, it's so well written.

[stevo 792]

 

[Victor 10,938]

Good lord so much hurt, my heart cries.

[evrydayimbyfuglien 600]

Review:

Great article, as usual. However,

15 hours ago, Tsbagsuph said:

  I’ve bought a golden retriever on Thursday and called her Jackie.

I don't think "I have bought" is the past tense you're looking for. "I bought" would have been sufficient. 

 

15 hours ago, Tsbagsuph said:

She had a perfectly good thing and if she can’t acknowledge it, than she doesn’t deserve me.

*then

 

Like I said, this article was fine, just a few grammar issues, nothing major. Keep it up, man. Best of luck in the draft.