Breaking Down Team Europe - Part 1 [Reviewed]

[Phil 5,133]

Breaking Down Team Europe - Part 1

Today we are going to be dissecting Team Europe for the upcoming World Cup. Alright, maybe dissecting is not the right adjective but we’ll definitely be going behind the scenes to see what kind of team we can expect at this tournament.

 

Goaltending

 

Firstly, it is no surprise that Europe have the best goalies. They have had this at the last three World Cups, and they have the medals and awards to back it up. In fact, their goaltending situation is so good that they had to let Jr. Clegane (Sandro, the Hound @JardyB10) hop over to Team Mercenaries again for the second straight tournament because Sr. Clegane (Greg, the Mountain @Victor) and Hans Wingate (a.k.a. Wingod @CowboyinAmerica) will unquestionably be occupying the space between the pipes. Aside from their skills they are, in fact, adorably stupid. Clegane, having just been bested by Wingate in the NA Conference Finals and therefore could prep slightly earlier for the World Cup, hopped on a plane to Westeros. The only problem with that was that Westeros knows nothing of what airplanes are, and it is definitely not in Europe.

 

Wingate, on the other hand did in fact book he ticket to Zurich, where Team Europe’s training facility is. However, he somehow forgot that he was still amidst the VHL Finals against Davos and thus showed up late for Game 3. Luckily, he had flown into the same country, but still had to take the train into Davos, almost missing the puck-drop! This was a big contribution as to why they lost that game.

 

Forward Power:

 

I wrote “Forward Power”; I didn’t say how much power… because honestly, they don’t have much. If anything is going to prevent them from getting a medal, it will be either Donald Trump being elected President and then bombing Europe, or the lack of firepower up front.

 

Their most seasoned forward is Thaddeus Humbert (@Mr. Power), a 600 TPE monster-scrub, whose very name instils a sense mediocrity. Although his attributes should show otherwise, his career has been less than a bright spot in the VHL sky. Maybe it's because he's too busy writing to the VHL Board of Governors rather than practicing. He'll mail (yes, mail) out daily letters to them with different ideas and changes. But we'll see what he can do at the World Cup.

 

Next we have the eccentric Tyson Kohler (@Kendrick). No one's doubting this lad's skill, as he heads into the prime of his career, only a S48 draftee. He's a proven 30+ goal scorer and should add fire to the fuel for Europe, however, his one caveat is that he likes his hats. You'll never see him go into an arena or come out of one without a ridiculous-looking hat. You name it, and he's worn it - polka dot fedoras, mosquito net hats, neon pink balaclavas - the list is endless.

 

Next up is a forward in his prime, the S46 masterclass that is Shawn Muller (@TheLastOlympian07). Coming off a career high season with Davos of 87 points with 37 goals, we can expect him to try to connect with Kohler in the World Cup. That is, if he ever makes it to the rink. It has always been against his will that he played hockey, for all he's ever wanted was to be a professional soccer (football) player. It is rumoured that the only reason he was traded from Seattle to Davos was become he refused to go to practice. When asked about it, he claimed that he had not only never missed a practice but gone to extra ones. Of course, he failed to mention that it was practicing with Seattle Sounders FC, the MLS team, ignoring his hockey obligations. Since Team Europe will be training in Switzerland, Phil Knight has put up mug shots of Muller all around FC Basil's training ground just to be safe.

 

Next up we have the Honourable and Lord Master Essian Ravenwing (@der meister), who just wrapped up his rookie season in the VHL. The Welsh forward insists he's a playmaker and perhaps tries too hard to prove that point. He spent most of last season shut up in his room writing throughout many-a night. He's apparently trying to equal Shakespeare's record of 37 plays. Whether this will translate into World Cup success is yet to be known but we can at the very least be entertained.

 

 

 

That will do for Part I of the Team Europe breakdown. Be sure to tune in next week for Part II and the rest of the team!!

[der meister 3,261]

Don't worry; I got this. 

[FacePuncher 1,343]

Hey, this is my job!

[Phil 5,133]

56 minutes ago, ADwyer87 said:

Hey, this is my job!

 

You're going to do my PTs for me? I'll take it! 

 

 

Also, I want this in my Nation Forum. Just telling you because. I win. 

[FacePuncher 1,343]

2 minutes ago, Phil said:

 

You're going to do my PTs for me? I'll take it! 

 

 

Also, I want this in my Nation Forum. Just telling you because. I win. 

I'll do ur PTs for you, if you're ok with getting no more points for the rest of your career lol

 

also I don't have that power, but if i did I would refuse!!

[Phil 5,133]

1 minute ago, ADwyer87 said:

I'll do ur PTs for you, if you're ok with getting no more points for the rest of your career lol

 

Ah... but surely you forget... its auto-claim 

 

[FacePuncher 1,343]

Just now, Phil said:

 

Ah... but surely you forget... its auto-claim 

 

But if my PTs for you are only 3 words you won't get any points

 

 

[Phil 5,133]

[Phil 5,133]

[FacePuncher 1,343]

[TheLastOlympian07 2,388]

but you already talked about me. hy would I check out the next edition?

[Phil 5,133]

1 hour ago, TheLastOlympian07 said:

but you already talked about me. hy would I check out the next edition?

 

Because I do a conclusion where you're all mentioned again.

[JardyB10 4,869]

Even me?

[Phil 5,133]

1 minute ago, JardyB10 said:

Even me?

 

well.. we'll just have to wait and see.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

but yes

[evrydayimbyfuglien 600]

Review: I think it auto corrected "because" to "become" at one point but that all I saw for an issue with this. Great job, I'll go hunt down part 2 now.