BarzalGoat 728 Posted August 20, 2018 Share Posted August 20, 2018 Acrostic Poems, an art form lost to all of those above age 12, which I shall now bring back into your lives, against your will, to express my admiration for the Yukon Rush. Y- Y you gotta be like this Yukon! The greatest players one year, then a half-assed attempt to compete while really just tanking hard the next! U- U treat us like second class fans, Yukon! We deserve a winner just like the Ottawa people do, so why you trade our best player for 3 picks and a Greek dude who's name is so long I don't have the time to spell it. K- K. I see how it is Rush. Be like that, whatever. It's fine. I don't care, it isn't bothering me. O- Only Yukon can get me so invested in the season that I actually care about what happens, but then crush my dreams by losing in the Founder's Cup Finals. Like, how did you even lose? Who the fuck is Greg Santos? Why didn't you play Johnny Havenk Carison? Is 2 + 2 = 4? Find out all this and more, next time on Dragon Ball Z (wow what a reference you nerd). N- NOOOOOOO DON'T TANK THE SEASON AWAY!!!!! Yukon could very easily compete if they had two more players - they just happen to be Leph Twinger and Havenk Carison. Oh well though, right? We'll be so great next year, so who cares! R- Really? You decided to do the second word also? How can anyone possibly have enough creative insults for themselves, and a team they're the general manager of? Do you think this is funny? Do you think anyone is still reading this far? What, you're going to get like 1 reaction out of this? Look at the standings in the VHLM, your team can hardly score any points! You didn't even want your own VHL player to stay down in the VHLM, you'd rather let him go play up in the VHL, where he is on ANOTHER tanking team. U- U clearly underestimated my commitment to finishing this acrostic poem. Each part of this long poem is like its own little Yukon Rush player. Strong, free, a solid skater, but underperforming hella hard (except for you Sid and Eno, you're the best) S- Sell now! Come one, come all! Yukon Rush should sell their best players to the highest bidder! What could a player like Sidney Crosby earn in a trade!? 1 first? 2 firsts? an entire franchise rights? Who knows! Why don't you make a bid Ottawa!? We'd love to have s'more of those great picks in next year's draft, which totally won't be as active as this year's VHLM, meaning there won't nearly be as much talent. H- Hope you enjoyed my ramblings for TPE, I know I sure enjoyed writing this! It started out as a simple VHL.com article, but once I realized I had Penny levels of shitposting at my finger tips, waiting to be written, I couldn't resist but making this a full length Media Spot. All hail Barzal, the one true Rookie of the Year. ColeMrtz and diamond_ace 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShawnGlade 1,010 Posted August 20, 2018 Share Posted August 20, 2018 H - The A - founder's L - cup I - is F - coming A - home X - to Hally 2 - oh 1 - and s - yukon t - sucks ColeMrtz and Spade18 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
diamond_ace 3,107 Posted August 21, 2018 Share Posted August 21, 2018 Halifax is strong But Ottawa wins the cup Yukon isn't good (Haiku boys!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BarzalGoat 728 Posted August 21, 2018 Author Share Posted August 21, 2018 Just now, diamond_ace said: Halifax is strong But Ottawa wins the cup Yukon isn't good (Haiku boys!) Yukon is a tank V H L M haikus suck Refrigerator Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShawnGlade 1,010 Posted August 21, 2018 Share Posted August 21, 2018 4 hours ago, BarzalGoat said: Yukon is a tank V H L M haikus suck Refrigerator Yukon is tanking Halifax all the way bud Saskatoon sucks too Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
diamond_ace 3,107 Posted August 25, 2018 Share Posted August 25, 2018 Haikus are good but Tankas are superior It's just a haiku With two additional lines Of seven syllables each Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scoop 3,386 Posted August 25, 2018 Share Posted August 25, 2018 The games have been simmed, hooray Let's see how the Rush did today Oh what a bore They failed to score This team's in complete disarray Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
diamond_ace 3,107 Posted August 25, 2018 Share Posted August 25, 2018 10 minutes ago, street said: The games have been simmed, hooray Let's see how the Rush did today Oh what a bore They failed to score This team's in complete disarray Limerick, I like it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spade18 1,305 Posted August 25, 2018 Share Posted August 25, 2018 On 8/20/2018 at 3:57 PM, ShawnGlade said: H - The A - founder's L - cup I - is F - coming A - home X - to Hally 2 - oh 1 - and s - yukon t - sucks This is fucking art ShawnGlade 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DollarAndADream 3,356 Posted October 29, 2018 Share Posted October 29, 2018 Review: Different take on a media spot, and I like it. Funny read. Yukon is good though. I like them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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