VSN EXCLUSIVE BREAKING NEWS: JOSEPH MCWOLF WANTS OUT OF NEW YORK!

[Stoffiday 127]

 

 

 

New York City, New York-- In a dramatic turn of events, Joseph McWolf, Star defensemen for the New York Americans, was seen making backroom deals with Kronos Bailey of the Helsinki Titans!

 

Through a series of completely invasive (and possibly illegal) tactics, we were able to piece together a transcript of that very conversation for publication in written medium, which this news anchor must warn all readers, is quite graphic.

 

Here, in transcribed form, is that interaction:

 

(K shall be used for Kronos, and M shall be used for McWolf after their inital mention.)

 

Kronos: So, what can I do for you, Joe? This isn’t really how we usually me-

 

Mcwolf: Quiet Bailey! I think we’re being watched...C’mere…

 

(Loud thumping and banging.)

 

K: Son of a...Why’d you hit me?!

 

M: Sorry, my shot’s been off since that last encounter with Brick Wahl...He really gives you a beating with those poke checks, if you catch my drift.

 

K: ….No...no I don’t….NEVERMIND! What do you even want Joe?

 

M: I’m tired of those assholes in New York, they’re cramping my style...I’m sick of the traffic, and the “HOWYOUDOIN’!” and the pizza is just...who the hell folds their pizza? It’s unnatural!

 

K: Are you on drugs? Am I like a giant dragon or a narwhal right now? -Gasp- Am I Keaton Louth?!

 

It was at this point that it gets a little hard to hear...as this anchor forgot to change the batteries in his voice recorder...and is too cheap to use his cell phone data…

 

K: I…think….pumpkin….spice…..Goalie prospect….On the team.

M: I….want….spot….in….Helsinki….winter….sauna….me?

 

Suddenly, my speakers picked up very clearly, almost as if they recharged…

M: Rhett?! What the hell are you doing in this trash can?!

 

Rhett: N...Nothing...I just…

 

(Loud footsteps and huffing and puffing.)

 

THERE YOU HAVE IT FOLKS! Joseph McWolf hates pizza, and wants to leave the Big Apple for Helsinki!

 

It’s also rumored that McWolf loves a good poke check.

 

If this is to be believed, we can definitely expect some shake ups and breakups in the VHL next season!

 

 

 

 

 

[Beaviss 4,957]

quality let the rumor mill start!

[ShawnGlade 1,010]

pure content

[McWolf 3,115]

To be fair, I'll never be tired of the HOW YOU DOIN'.

 

 

[McWolf 3,115]

And this is among my favourite VHL articles ever

[Peace 1,528]

So Joe doesn’t like FRIENDS. Nope, trade him. Bust prospect. 

[Nykonax 1,564]

One of the best articles ever written