Halifax No Longer Accepting Biscuits In Their Basket [1/2]

[Larry Five Hole 16]

 

TSN(The Spudz Network)

3:30 PM, Halifax Nova Scotia.

Article By: Spudz Mackenzie

 

The smell of change(and donair meat) is in the air in Halifax today, as news has broken that the team has officially signed rookie phenom netminder Bruce Theodore. A signing that seemingly came out nowhere and caught most pundits by surprise. Sources say that the signing came to fruition early in the morning of Thursday, September 26, when Halifax 21^st GM FonziGG met with Bruce Theodore in a local restaurant, King of Donair. The two reportedly bonded over an extra large, agreeing that lettuce does not belong on a donair, and as such, the bromance was formed. We’ve confirmed with the team that Bruce Theodore has signed for the standard 1,500,000 contract, and will be slotted into the starting goaltender role for the 21^st.

 

We reached out to Bruce Theodore for a comment on his new team, and contract:

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Spudz Mackenzie: Congratulations on the new team. How does it feel to be the new starting netminder for the Halifax 21^st?

 

Bruce Theodore: Feels great, Spudz. I expect to achieve great things with the team, and know that management has similar expectations.

 

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Spudz Mackenzie: I understand it that you’ve signed a contract for $1,500,000. How does it feel to have signed your first professional contract?

 

Bruce Theodore: Wow, $1,500,000. When you put it like that, it seems like such a daunting number. I guess it hasn’t really hit me until now. Can buy a lot of donairs with that, hey?

 

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Spudz Mackenzie: *Laughter* Yeah, I guess you can. On that note, any plans yet for your first purchase? Nice apartment? Fancy sports car?

 

Bruce Theodore: Absolutely! I’ve spent all day on Kijiji, I plan to buy a 1993 white Ford Bronco, and a PSA 9 Gretzky rookie card. Forecheck, Backcheck, Paycheck.

 

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Spudz Mackenzie: It’s not often to see a young gun netminder like yourself move straight into a starting role on a new team. How are you dealing with the pressure?

 

Bruce Theodore: I absolutely appreciate the opportunity, and relish the challenge. High pressure situations are my bread and butter, baby. I know the front office has full confidence in my abilities, and I in theirs, as well. There’s something special happening in Halifax, and I am happy to be at the forefront of it.

 

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Spudz Mackenzie: As per league rules, you’ve signed with Halifax for the remainder of the season, but will be placed in the draft next year. Any preferences for where you end up?

 

Bruce Theodore: It’s not something I’ve put much thought into to be honest. I’d love to return to Halifax, but that is out of my control. At the end of the day, I’ll be happy just to be playing hockey.

 

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Spudz Mackenzie: Thanks for your time Bruce, I hope this is but the first of many titillating interviews I conduct with you.

 

Bruce Theodore: Anytime Spudz, I’ve always been a big fan.

 

 

You can expect to see Bruce Theodore flashing leather this week as the Halifax 21^st take on the top ranked Houston Bulls. Halifax currently sits in 5^th place in the VHLM with a record of 18-10-1, and a 4 game winning streak. The addition of Theodore to the roster is a significant upgrade, as they are currently weak in the goaltending position, and may just be enough to make a strong championship run.

 

Signing off for TSN, I’m Spudz Mackenzie.

[Ricer13 2,595]

Review: 

 

Love the layout of this article. I really like that you quoted each question and answer.

 

The only issue I have is that Halifax is trash, go Hounds!!!!