Real American Love

[DoktorFunk 810]

You asked for it so here it is. This is a work of fiction… I think.

 

Real American Love

 

Chapter One

 

He was nervous, He never got nervous. He was Heavyweight Champion of the World, for brother’s sake! Why would he be nervous about anything? All the leg drops, hulking up, and high-stakes matches he’d had over his career and he was worried about being nervous for a first date. “Take it easy, brother,” he told himself. “You like him. But it’s no big deal. You ate your vitamins and brushed your teeth, brother. Your pythons look huge. Your mustache is combed. It’s going to be a good night, brother.”

 

Hulk Hogan looked himself up and down in the mirror. He was making sure his tank top looked as good as he thought it did. He had a big date tonight with a very successful guy. He drove a Ferrari and wore Rolex’s, so he leads a life style that Hulk was very accustomed to. They were going to meet at a local steakhouse. They were both in excellent shape, so they decided it would be a good place to get some beef. And Hulk wanted more than just beef.

 

Hulk put on his best American flag bandana, oiled himself up, then walked out to his car. It was about 5pm in sunny California, so the lighting made him glisten in the sunlight. “I’m looking good, brother,” he thought to himself. “Someone like me, how could he not think I’m a worthy opponent? And I need it so badly. I haven’t had a good match in years…” More than anything, Hulk hoped that his date, Hunter, would challenge him. Life had became boring now that he was champ, and he hadn’t had someone worthy in a while. This kid was a prissy blue blood from Connecticut, so that worried him a bit, but he looked amazing and jacked in his pictures. 

 

Hulk got in his Lamborghini and started down the highway towards the steakhouse. Maybe he would beat Hunter there, so it’s possible that he could get some water before had to help calm his nerves. “I wish I could drink, but Hogan doesn’t do drugs, brother. Winners don’t do drugs, and I’m a winner.” They had agreed to meet up at 6pm, so he should have time to relax when he gets there.

 

Hulk pulled up to the steakhouse at 5:45 and saw a bright red Ferrari in the parking lot with a license plate reading ‘TH3 G4M3’. “Oh, he’s already here, brother,” Hogan nervously said to himself. “It’s fine, I’ll just go right in. It’ll be fine, brother.” He took out his boom box, turned it to maximum volume, and started playing his theme song, “Real American.” Hulk kicked open the door. “When it comes crashing down and it hurts inside,” wailed the song. He pointed around the restaurant, looking into the eyes of all of the stunned guests. “No,” he thought, “These people are too weak, brother.”

 

But then, he locked eyes with a steely-eyed man with a huge nose. The man was say shirtless in the corner, looking directly at him and not breaking eye contact. Hogan pointed at him and shouted “YOU!!!” He walked over and got right in Hunter Hurst Hemsley's face, stared into his beautiful eyes for about thirty seconds, puckered his lips and……

 

Continued in Chapter 2

 

500 words and more

Edited November 25, 2019 by DoktorFunk

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