A Pressing Question

[HenrikZoiderberg 469]

A Pressing Question

 

 

"Can VHL Players have Salami?"

 

The question we've all been waiting to have answered is finally upon us. The health cost/benefits of salami have been hotely debated in the hockey community of late. On one hand, salami is high in proteins and fats needed to develop and maintain muscle, surpriess appetite, and allow players to play at their best. On the flip side, salami is a high-sodium solution to a problem with a number of answers. Given this controversey, I've turned to some of the VHL's best to get their opinion. Winter's chill is soon to be upon us, and we need to decide whether players can indulge in the meats of the hearth and home.

 

All-star player and nutrition specialist Scott Greene @DoktorFunk shares his thoughts:

"I don't endorse it, but I don't want to stand in the way of people and what they love. Too salty. Drains the life right outta you."

 

That's one vote for the sodium angle. 

 

Next on the docket is Bears captain Acyd Burn @Acydburn with his angle:

"I mean they can afford whatever meats they want, but no. Too much sodium."

 

Sodium two, protein nothing.

 

Next up, The Bears star defensive winger Henrik Zoiderberg gives us his take:

"Players can have a little salami."

 

Finally, a dissenting vice against the hatred of the masses. One man brave enough to stand up against the tide and let the hard-working players of the VHL have a reward for everything they've done on and off the ice. Zoiderberg's voice isn't always appreciated, but it always speaks the truth, regardless of the cost to his own reputation. What a man.

 

Speaking of men, Zoiderberg's favorite on-again off-again Australian winger Berocka @Berocka weighed in with his thoughts from the perspective of one from the dangerous down under:

"No salami at all. All meats must be freshly butchered and cooked in the same day. The fresher the meat the better the player will absorb the animals physical traits. Chicken will make a player lighter on his feet. Beef makes you stronger. Pork makes you more resilient."

 

Okay. Interesting take. Not necessarily a sodium vote, but still a vote against delicious cured meats from a man Zoiderberg once called a friend.

 

Next up, macho hockey man Hulk Hogan @HulkHogan gives his thoughts,

"Players can have a little salami brother."

 

Hell yeah brother brother. A vote in the right direction puts us back at 2-3, or 2-2-1, depending on how we're scoring this important debate. 

 

Next up is star defensemen and misnomer Leph Twinger @DollarAndADream with his take on what to do about this topic,

"You're damn right they can have salami, but only if they're winning."

 

The good old tacos for Eddie Lack strategy. It's bold, but I like it, especially since it gives us an even 3-3 split.  It looks like we're going to have to go to VHL royalty in the young prime rhino, @diamond_ace

 

"I would think so, it's protein. Most meats are protein in larger percentages than carb or fat."

 

And there you have it straight from the rhino's mouth. VHL players can have a little salami.

 

524 Words

TPE for week ending December 8