Pride Month and BLM...My Experience

[InstantRockstar 1,243]

A lot of people have spoken up about these topics, many times over the years, and today they still lead to a constant debate. As such, I would like to speak on these topics and speak my mind because I feel like a lot has gone on here in the past that has either been overlooked, taken in poor terms, lead to members leaving and such, and so I would just love to explain my personal experiences with both these topics, as despite being a white male, I've sadly had to experience both. 

 

On January 27th 2010, my best friend in the whole world came out as gay. I've known this kid since I was 4 years old, and I was the first person he told. I was very accepting of the matter, as its none of my business to what he does, and I was proud of him for taking that leap. He hadn't told his parents yet, who are very strict Christians may I add. He also hadn't told anyone else at school or told anyone else really at all, so he was still very much 'in the closet'. Keep in mind, we were like 16-17 here, and bullying was unfortunately as big if not worse back then for anything deemed out of the social 'norm'. So come our final year in high school, he finally outted himself, and the bullying was surreal. I got suspended in school for beating up a kid who beat up my friend, I shoved them in a locker and locked it, but I was mad that my friend was being bullied for his choices, it sickened me. I got the worst call of my life 8 days after my birthday, July 19th, 2012, we had just graduated literally a month ago... and I get the awful news that my friend couldn't handle it anymore...and hung himself in his closet. He left a note, you could literally see the tear marks left as he was writing this damn thing, and I still have it to this day because its the last thing I have of his, as well as some pictures. To this day, I regret that I could not protect him more, and pride month, pride in general, I always support, not just for him, but all of the people in the world just like him facing the same horrible reality. 

 

So how does this tie into BLM? Well, I've always been the kind of guy to just want to be friends with people,  Idon't care your gender, your race, your anything, if you're cool, if we share the same likes and interests, its very likely we'll become friends because I just am that type of person. My friend, who was from a broken black family, was also a very, very close friend of mine, for years, we met in grade school and never lost touch. One day, he was with his other group of friends, and as they told me due to their recollection, someone or a group of people started opening fire on their group. Keep in mind, they were barely adults, this was around college time. More information came out about this, it was a very "white" dominated group that shot into that group. I lost my best friend because of the color of his skin...all because someone felt they were better than them. It came out that it was 100% a hate crime towards his race, and they didn't even know who he was. He was just in the 'wrong place, at the wrong time'. 

 

So why am I posting this? Well, because I have experienced both ends of it. I've lost a lot of friends along the way to this bullshit we call a society and the 'norms' of society. I am a white, straight man, but that doesn't mean I don't see what kind of shit is going on in the world. To anyone, who falls into the categories that are always attacked on a daily basis, please know I stand with you, I support you, I am with you all the way. And if you need an ear, a shoulder, someone to talk to, I will talk to you. I will NOT give up on you. 

[MexicanCow123 914]

Fantastic article IR. Its great that you are willing to share your experiences during this time. 

[Ricer13 2,796]

Very well put together IR. Sorry to hear about what you’ve gone through. I too share the same stance.

[mediocrepony 1,216]

I'm so sorry that that happened. Nobody should have to go through bullying, ever, but especially not enough to decide to kill yourself. I feel like bullying in schools is often overlooked, and definitely needs to be addressed.

[MexicanCow123 914]

1 minute ago, GrittyIsKing09 said:

I'm so sorry that that happened. Nobody should have to go through bullying, ever, but especially not enough to decide to kill yourself. I feel like bullying in schools is often overlooked, and definitely needs to be addressed.

As someone who is still in school i 100% agree. I see bullying way to much at least in my school, and no one wants to step in.

[Oatex 235]

To anyone who cares:

 

Its a fucked up world with a lot of fucked up people. With that being said, theres also a lot of great people. When ever feeling like you might potentially kill/hurt yourself, think of all those good people in the world, who care that youre here. You may think youre not liked, but I am sure there is somebody who goes home that probably wishes he/she was in youre life. With that being said, its not how hard of timed youve had, its how youve handled them, the VHL will accept you for whoever you are, feel free to talk to me if you ever need it.

 

#StayStrong

[bigAL 2,176]

Beautiful story IR, even if it's a sad one. I know that pain and guilt of being so close to someone that you just couldn't help that one time - it's crushing in a way that doesn't ever leave you. It sounds like you've been able to do lots of great reflecting and thinking over the past decade of trauma, and I hope you have the emotional supports you need to take care of yourself. Thanks for offering to share your experiences, your story, and your lessons learned along the way with the rest of the VHL family

[samx 1,173]

Thank you for sharing this. Im so sorry you had to go through this but it shows tremendous strength in the fact that you are able to share this with so many people. 

[mediocrepony 1,216]

7 minutes ago, Alex Bridges said:

To anyone who cares:

 

Its a fucked up world with a lot of fucked up people. With that being said, theres also a lot of great people. When ever feeling like you might potentially kill/hurt yourself, think of all those good people in the world, who care that youre here. You may think youre not liked, but I am sure there is somebody who goes home that probably wishes he/she was in youre life. With that being said, its not how hard of timed youve had, its how youve handled them, the VHL will accept you for whoever you are, feel free to talk to me if you ever need it.

 

#StayStrong

Can't say it better