Mayhem In Minnesota!

[Andre LeBastard 112]

Shite Sports 

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VHLM PLAYOFFS - SPECIAL EDITION

 

 

Mayhem In Minnesota!

Shite Sports News doesn't like to brag, but we predicted that Miami Marauders would win two games in their opening-round playoff series with the Minnesota Storm. We just didn't realise it would be the first two games. Yes, you heard right, as the upstart Miami club, freshly minted and precocious have a 2-0 lead in their best of 7 series. Minnesota would have been worried once the league announced the playoff matchups, having lost the very first game of the season to the expansion Miami Marauders. The South Florida club managed two more victories over the Storm during the regular season, proving that the club is no pushover for an easy two points and setting the table for a potential opening-round upset.  Indeed, the Minnesota GM would have probably not admitted it, but we here at Shite Sports News suspect that Miami would have been his least favourite match up for the first round. 

 

He really should know better, having spent an inordinate amount of time in the Miami locker room over the past few weeks, giving him a first-hand look at how a team can be more than the sum of its parts through camaraderie, esprit de corps and a group of players that work for each other tirelessly. Add to that a more than competent management team that eschewed the quick fix option when building the club ahead of the season - rather, opting for a squad that could grow together, without mortgaging the future of the club.

 

Should Miami go on to win this series, it won't be some fluke or bad luck on the part of Minnesota, but through hard work, desire and a willingness to check the ego at the door and work for the team. Kudos to the league for sorting out the playoffs qualification so that it rewards regular-season performance. Should the Minnesota Storm pull it back and go on to eliminate the Marauders in six or even seven games, normal service will have been resumed and all will be right with the status quo in the VHLM universe. Miami is not about the status quo, nor do they exist to pad the stats of the established elite. No, the Marauders are all about playing hockey and having fun doing it. What could be more fun than eliminating the best team in the league in the opening round of the playoffs which no one gave you a chance to even be involved in?

 

It remains for us to ask: Quo Vadis Minnesota?
If the club is eliminated in the opening round, questions will be asked and there will be a strong temptation to blow it all up and start rebuilding ahead of S73. Should it take the Storm seven games to put down the upstart Marauders, potential next round opponents will smell blood in the water and feel they have a good chance to advance.  Losing another game, as the series now moves to Miami for Games 3 & 4, would be a disaster, down 3 games to 1. Minnesota will be on the verge of booking the golf course for the summer. The club might even have to shave the playoff beard from their logo too, imagine that!

 

We spoke with Minnesota Storm player Groovy Dood, who whilst choking back the emotion, told us: "We're the Minnesota freakin' Storm. We'll be fine. We won 60 games in the regular season, and all we need is 16 to get the Founder's Cup. Miami's a hell of team, but don't forget they just snuck into the playoffs. I mean, their last game was against us and let's just say we were celebrating the end of the season a day early, and the game sheet shows that. Today, well, today was us not taking these chumps too seriously. Don't worry, there's a Storm a-brewing, and those Marauders are going to feel its wrath tomorrow." We didn't have the heart to tell him that all Miami needs is 14 games.

 

As for the Miami Marauders, this season will go down in history regardless of the final playoff outcome. The club, in its debut season, has won its first game, made its first playoff series, won its first playoff game and could well go on to win its first-ever playoff series. All this with not a single player above 200 TPE (edit: They do have one player this week reaching a princely 204 TPE).

 

We also spoke to the Miami Marauders Assistant General Manager @bigAL:
"Day 1 was alright. Not the best effort we've given, but it'll do. Ah! Who am I kidding, holy shit we're up 2-0 on the regular season champs! Man, Minnesota was talking a big game last week, but it's the Marauders who are laughing now. How about our last three games against each other, eh? Last game of the season, @osens finishes them off in OT. Then, we walk into their barn and absolutely thump them. The 4-2 final made Game 1 look closer than it was, and the Game 2 score of 5-1 is probably closer to where Game 1 should've been. Sure, they've got some superstars, but so do we. On paper, it shouldn't work, but never underestimate an expansion team with a chip on their shoulder. Minnesota thought it'd be funny at the start of the year to pick fights with the little guy, but here we are, a whole season later, giving them a solid 1-2 punch to start the playoffs. Let's go home, and with a bit of luck, we'll never have to go back to Minnesota again." Indeed. Strong stuff from the Miami Marauders Assistant GM. No doubt more than a little full of a post-game tipple (or two).

 

 

THERE ARE 20 COMMENTS:

 

12:47 - STNEDMAN: - Ya fuk you guyz! @Miami 
12:49 - HockeyLyfe: - wow i didnt see that coming 2-0!
12:52 - Cazthespaz: - it rigged man, VHL is fixed my freindz cosin works with guy who knows this gurl who is living with a guy who works for the league, he says its rigged man fight the power
13:03 - Anon:  - kosmo is a commie! cant skate cant pass cant shoot!!
13:03 - MiAmiVicE: - Ya tht why he leading leagu idiot!!!!!!!!!!
13:06 - baller-dude: - All yall n****z be trippin, Rodman iz da goat baller!
13:05 - Mark Williams III: - Good effort by miami so far maruaders in seven!
13:10 - whodafuk: - Uh, @baller-dude , wrong sport wrong forum!
13:11 - momzdabombz14: -  I. LIKE. MIAMI. I THINK THEY WILL WIN.
13:12 - capslok: - CAPSLOK! Finally lmao!!!!!
13:13 - momzdabombz14: - rofl! lolz! lmao! roflmao! 
13:14 - specialkidzneedzluv2: -  are you like 16 or what?
13:15 - momzdabombz14: - no im 14 years old
13: 22 - skinnyminnymiller: - the refs gave the game to miami, soem soft calls for sho!
13:25 - grumpasaurusREX: - That LeBatsard aint dome nuttin for ages now, trade the lazy MF! 
13:40 - getrichqik:  - I> MADE> $2000>LAST>WEEK>FROM>HOME>>>>FIND OUT HOW!>>> HTTP://gimmeyercashsucker.com
13: 47 - Storm2017: - at least ike benett is doing something, the rest of the guys are playing like sh1t - cum on Minnesota!
13:58 - sexcboi4u:  - no thanks @Storm2017 id rather spank them and cum elsewhere
13:59 - Storm2017: - This Comment Is Awaiting Moderation
16:00 - Rayzor_7: - WTF! OMG!

 

 

SSN thanks @bigAL for the graphic!

Edited June 28, 2020 by Andre LeBastard

[Andre LeBastard 112]

claiming for w/e 28th: 1/2 

[Banackock 8,062]

[Doomsday 4,130]

I absolutely love everything about this! Keep up the great work!!

[Victor 10,955]

7 hours ago, Andre LeBastard said:

16:00 - Rayzor_7: - WTF! OMG!

 

[Ricer13 2,796]

Review: This is perfection. Way to take advantage of a fun situation for Miami and write up an article of this caliber. This was very well written and it made me laugh a number of times. The addition of the comments at the end are amazing as well. My only critique is that you need to do this more! Rating 10/10. Go Miami

[Andre LeBastard 112]

claiming for w/e July 5th: 2/2