VHL Franchise Misery Index Revisited

[Matt_O 897]

 

Great achievement in any sport must come at the expense of others. Alec Martinez just scored the goal of his life, and the Kings are Stanley cup champions. On the other end? The Rangers suffer bitter defeat, and Lundqvist can only hang his head in misery. The only way to fully understand is by experiencing the epic highs and lows of VHL sim hockey. On the other side of every win, celebration, comeback, or upset, there is defeat, frustration, and disappointment. In S66, I created the VHL Misery Index, an arbitrary system I used to calculate how miserable each VHL team has been over the past fifteen seasons, dating back to S51. Almost ten seasons later, I've decided to bring it back to see how much has changed over the past eight seasons. If you want to see the results from S66, click here. If you want to see how the point system works, click here.

 

In case you don't feel like reading how the point system works, I will just quickly sum it up. It is split up into three parts; the previous five seasons, seasons 6-10, and then season 11-15. The most recent years carry the most weight in the index, and as we get further removed from the present, the point totals lessen. For example, an S73 cup win would be -40, but a S62 cup win would be -10. The lower the point total, the better. This list will not included any of the four newest expansion teams for obvious reasons, and it also won't include Prague or DC. I wanted to put Malmo and Moscow in, but they just didn't have enough seasons. Perhaps in the next edition, they will both be included. I also included each teams worst moment from the last 15 seasons, as well as how much their ranked changed since the last edition.

 

8. Seattle Bears 

Previous rank: 2 (310)

Misery score: 45

 

How did the Bears turn their score around so much in eight seasons? Well, it's a pretty easy explanation. The previous edition cut off at S66, only two seasons prior to the beginning of the Bears dynasty. Since then, they have four continental cups, the primary reason for their low score. The score of only 45 is absolutely insane. In the last edition, Helsinki's score of 95 was the lowest and it was so insane I had to redo the numbers to make sure I didn't do anything wrong. This is half that score. It's hard to be miserable as a Bears fan when you won four cups in recent memory, forming one of the greatest dynasties of all time. Just imagine if the S63-S65 Bears teams didn't underperform in the playoffs. Those teams won back to back victory cups, and this misery score could be nearly at 0 or even in the negatives if they had played up to their skill level during those years.

 

Worst moment: Back to back semi finals upsets in S64 and S65

 

7. Riga Reign 

Previous rank: 7 (152)

Misery score: 110

 

The Reign are another one of those teams that are always good. S75 has not been the case, but luckily for them this season is not counted. They brought their misery score down by 30 points since the last version, mostly due to their championship in S72, as well as a finals appearance in S69. They have made the playoffs every year since S63, and have made it to at least the semi-finals in all but two of those seasons. In the Podrick Cast era, they only won one cup (S63), and often times disappointed, notably in S64 against Helsinki in the semi finals and in S65 against the Legion. Despite those tough losses, the Reign were still one of the most consistent franchises in the past 15 seasons, and this misery score reflects that.

 

Worst moment: Getting destroyed by Toronto and Davos in S65 and S66

 

6. Vancouver Wolves 

Previous rank: 4 (268)

Misery score: 150

 

The big improvement in score for the Wolves is a result of two things. Firstly, their cup wins in S67 and S74. Secondly, their worst stretch as a franchise in the original misery index came during S58-S60, which isn't included in our updated version. Those two factors combined really swung in the Wolves favor, who have had good fortune as of late. When I come back to this in 5-10 seasons, I wouldn't be surprised to see Vancouver in last place. They have a really bright future that has a cup win before they even truly hit their prime; sounds an awful lot like the recent Bears dynasty. Vancouver has had some rough moments, such as getting swept in S66 in the finals, losing in the S62 finals against Keaton Louth and the Wranglers, or even when they were forced to play a computer goalie in the playoffs because they broke the Louth rule. The Wolves are in a much better spot now then they were ten seasons ago. If you are a Wolves fan, this score reflects how it's hard to forget the tough losses of the past, but you still can't be too upset because of your more recent success.

 

Worst moment: Being forced to play a CPU goalie in the playoffs in S64

 

5. Helsinki Titans 

Previous rank: 8 (95)

Misery score: 160

 

The Titans had their best stretch of hockey from S64-S67, with four straight finals appearance, but only one cup.  This is the key reason for their very low score in the previous misery index. Eight seasons later, that success is less weighted, and their lack of more recent success really brings on the points. The past two seasons they have made it to the finals, but the three seasons before that saw two wild card eliminations as well as missing the playoffs altogether in S71. The back to back losses to the Legion in the finals were tough for Titans fan, especially in S65 when it went the distance before Toronto won game seven. S67 was also tough, since the Wolves got their revenge in the rematch against Helsinki, but at least that loss could be soothed by the cup win the year prior. The Titans have had a lot of recent success, but their mini stretch of mediocrity from S70-S72 is what hurts them.

 

Worst moment: Losing back to back finals to Toronto in S64 and S65

 

4. Calgary Wranglers

Previous rank: 5 (230)

Misery score: 200

 

The Wranglers have been a pretty consistent franchise over the past 15 seasons. They haven't gone any extended stretches of being bad, which helps their score out by avoiding the playoff drought multiplier. However, besides an S62 cup, they haven't won anything else. They had a finals appearance in S63, S70, and S72, but lost all three of those appearances. Recently, the Wranglers have elevated their level of play with Jacques Lafontaine in net, but it wasn't enough to make a serious dent in their score from the last version. Overall, the Wranglers can be described in a way that's very similar to how I described them eight seasons ago. I said they were a consistent playoff team, but never did enough in the playoffs. An S73 finals appearance and possible cup win would have changed this score tremendously, but blowing a 3-1 lead in the semi finals to the rival Seattle Bears was an agonizing way to go down.

 

Worst moment: Blowing a 3-1 lead to Seattle in the semi finals in S73

 

3. Toronto Legion 

Previous rank: 6 (227)

Misery score: 290

 

The Legion began their first rebuild in a long time in S70 after a long run of being a consistent playoff team and also having no draft picks. The rebuild has been starting to turn the corner, but unfortunately their three playoff misses and wild card loss from S70 to S73 cost them 180 total points on the misery index. Their back to back cups in S64 and S65 are also weighted much less now that they aren't in recent memory, which hurts their score. S67 was the last prime chance for Toronto to win another continental cup, as they completely ran through the regular season, finishing well in first place, with 13 more wins than second place. The regular season dominance didn't end up mattering though, as they got smoked by the Wolves in the semi finals and only won a single game. Since that point, they have been on the decline. They are on the rise, but their lack of recent success is what drives this score to where it is.

 

Worst moment: Getting upset in the S67 semi finals by Vancouver

 

2. New York Americans 

Previous rank: 3 (290)

Misery score: 375

 

It's tough to be an Americans fan right now. They are the only team that hasn't won a cup in the past 15 seasons, not including any expansion teams. They had to rebuild from S62 to S64, and then the team had tremendous promise. They looked like a great young team on the rise, but everything changed so quickly. The Americans lost young pieces to expansion teams and by trade, the GM went inactive, and the team fell into shambles. A once promising team was practically left for dead. Esso became the new GM and had to tear everything down, causing the Americans to miss the playoffs and pick up even more misery points. From S67 to S71, they had only one playoff appearance, which was a wild card round loss in S69. They had some success after that rebuild, including reaching the semi finals in S72, but after a couple of seasons of success they had to tear it down again. The Americans missed the playoffs in S74 and are on track to miss it again this year. Maybe after another rebuild, they will be able to truly contend for a title.

 

Worst moment: GM Spade goes inactive, team falls into chaos

 

1. HC Davos Dynamo 

Previous rank: 1 (367)

Misery score: 395

 

This franchise is truly an enigma. Davos seemed like a mess when I wrote the first misery index, but they somehow have gotten even worse. Even though it seems like they have a really solid young team and a direction now, they have just been so inept on the ice. The last continental cup for Davos was all the way back in S61, seemingly a lifetime ago in VHL time. It doesn't seem like they will be able to turn the corner and win one again soon, despite actually having a pretty solid roster. They had to rebuild after a finals loss in S62, and managed to become competitive again in S66, despite having awful lottery luck during their rebuild. They had a star studded team, and even swept the Reign in S66 before getting handled easily by the Titans. They missed the playoffs the next year, lost in the first round the year after, before going on a three season stretch of missing the postseason. A wild card exit in S72 and then a first round loss in S73 continued to pummel this franchise into the ground. S74 seemed like it could be a good year though. Their young additions from the S72 draft were becoming truly elite now, and younger prospects were becoming good players as well. That wasn't enough for Davos, as they missed the playoffs in S74 because of a tiebreaker. I've come to the conclusion this franchise is cursed. Eight seasons have gone by and they are still the most miserable franchise in the VHL. You can't even really blame the GMs either, since they had really solid teams that just struggled to put it together. Hopefully in the next edition of the misery index, they won't be first place. Who am I kidding, they probably will be.

 

Worst moment: Missing the playoffs in S67 after it seemed they were turning the corner

 

Since the last misery index, the VHL landscape has changed drastically. Six new teams were added to the league, resulting in multiple different playoff format changes. The Bears went from one of the most miserable teams in the league to by far the least. The Wolves have gone from a team that seemed cursed at times to a two time champion and the team with the brighest future. The Legion went from back to back championships to third place on the misery chart. However, throughout all of this, some teams stay consistent. The Reign stayed in second to last, showing how consistently strong they are. The Titans may have moved up in the rankings, but they still are a great franchise with a pretty low score. The Americans struggles have still continued. Even with all this change, and the handful of teams that haven't changed much, one team rises above them all in terms of consistency. HC Davos remains the most miserable team, a true achievement for their consistency. In life, there are three certainties: Death, taxes, and Davos being the most miserable franchise in the VHL.

 

The full data table is here:

 

Spoiler

	Davos	Seattle	Vancouver	Helsinki	Calgary	Riga	Toronto	New York
S74	50	25	-40	5	35	25	15	50
S73	35	-40	35	5	20	15	50	25
S72	30	30	50	30	5	-40	30	15
S71	60	-40	15	50	30	15	50	50
S70	50	15	30	30	5	15	50	50
S69	35	-35	5	15	35	0	15	15
S68	15	-25	15	15	5	5	15	35
S67	35	35	-25	0	15	5	5	35
S66	5	35	0	-25	5	15	35	15
S65	45	15	35	5	35	10	-30	15
S64	20	10	5	0	20	10	-10	30
S63	20	0	0	20	0	-10	5	20
S62	0	0	0	20	-10	5	20	20
S61	-10	20	5	0	0	20	20	0
S60	5	0	20	-10	0	20	20	0
Total:	395	45	150	160	200	110	290	375

 

2,185 words

[Gustav 6,325]

[bigAL 2,176]

Love this idea. I’m so thankful DC didn’t get put on the list at all!

[Victor 10,844]

this is a conspiracy to avoid putting Moscow lowest on the index

[Ahma 1,392]

 

 

[Matt_O 897]

Week 2 claim

[Jubis 1,341]

Calgary trying aggressively to turn the frown upside down 

[Matt_O 897]

Week 3 claim

 

Edit: I revoked this claim because I was writing a VHL.com and it got long so I am using that as my media. I did not claim anything the week this claim was posted.

Edited January 5, 2021 by Matt_O
Typo

[Matt_O 897]

Actual week 3 claim

[Matt_O 897]

Week 4 final claim