HearnNation67

Woody McPine Claim McDavid is gonna be leading scorer

Woody McPine and the Minnesota Storm had a couple days off to recharge in between games 88 and 96 of the VHLM season, and it was very beneficial for the team. They blew out of the break winning 3 of their next 4 games, including McPine's first career shutout in a 7-0 thumping of the Mexico City Kings. When asked about his first donut, McPine said it “Feels nice” and credits to his teammates for playing a complete game in front of him. Those 6 points propelled the team into a three way tie for 3rd place with the San Diego Marlins, who they beat in the first of those 4 games, and the Philadelphia Reapers, who played a clutch game and were the only team to beat the Storm during the 4 game stretch. McPine and the Storm will look to carry this momentum forward over the next stretch of games on their quest for the cup. Word count: 158

Claim for G Woody McPine 1. Connor McDavid 2. Martin Jones 3. Brian Elliott 4. Vladimir Tarasanko 5. Alexander Edler 6. Kris Letang 7. Jamie Benn 8. Seth Jones

I recently watched the phenomenon that is Tiger King and it inspired me to break some of the characters down into teams for a possible VHL expansion. Some characters were easier to write about because they got more screen time but I tried. The remainder of the teams can be made up by whatever staff and family members don't get mentioned. Here y'all go: Oklahoma Tiger Kings Joe Exotic/Schreibvogel/Maldonado-Passage – Founder, owner, CEO, coach, captain. Had top 6 potential when he first came into the league but wasted his prime partying and doing drugs. Should be in the minors but is playing first line center. Talks a big game but can't back it up no matter how hard he tries. In charge of dressing room music, plays his original tunes. Very unpredictable on and off the ice which makes him a huge liability and threat. His trash talking and off ice activities got him kicked out of the league and he's now trying to sue the pants off of everyone. Loyal to no one but Dillon Passage. Bhagavan “Doc” Antle – The Tiger Kings goalie and a doctor of natural sciences. Been in the game long before Exotic recruited him to his team. King of his own little paradise (some claim its a cult, but they're really just jealous of his several wives) and does his own thing off the ice but is laser focused between the pipes. Has an in person hearing with the commissioner for doping accusations. Has dreams and connections in Hollywood and used to go by Kevin. John Finlay – Joe's right winger but should be playing defence. Exotic recruited him as a young player and managed to keet him around until he eventually left to play for a different team. Blocks shots with his face. Travis Maldonado – Plays on Exotic's left wing, but like Finlay, should also be playing defence. Also got brought in as a young player a few years after Finlay. Tragically suffered a career ending injury off the ice at a very young age. John Reinke – Team manager and defenceman. Battled through some serious leg injuries. Is incredibly loyal to Maldonado-Passage. Loves the game more than his family. Erik Cowie – Loves the game, but not the coach. Doesn't give a fuck about Doc. Plays defence with Reinke and is glad Exotic got kicked out of the league. Made the team as a walk-on after seeing an ad online. Jeff Lowe – Brought in by Joe to give the team some depth but the relationship went south fast. A real 'fake it til you make it' kind of player, Lowe slowly took over Exotic's roles with the team and some say he encouraged the actions that led to his banishment from the league. Pulls some sketchy shit on the ice. Originally second line center, but moved to Exotic's right wing after Finlay left and is now the number one center. Very flashy off the ice and isn't shy about his “superstar” status. Big lady's man. Allen Glover – Joined the team with Lowe to add some grit and meanness to the team. Plays defence. In it for the money and will do anything for the right price. Loves to party. Helped get Exotic banned from the league. Kelci “Saff” Saffery – Second line winger. Major injury to her left arm but barely missed a game. Incredibly loyal to the team. Dillon Passage – Brought in shortly after Maldonado's career ended. Played left wing with Exotic until the latter left the league. Passage is loyal to Exotic and only Exotic, and left the team following Joe's banishment. Joshua Dial – Former WalMart worker, Dial was brought in late in Exotic's career as his agent. Hated every minute of it. Got Joe some publicity but it wasn't enough to keep him in the league. This was his first job as an agent and has moved onto a new career path. Marc Thompson – The Marty McSorley to Exotic's Gretzky. Rick Kirkman – The team camera man. Well, really Joe's camera man. Got some interesting footage that Joe didn't want to see the light of day. Bailed on the team after a fire destroyed most of his gear and films. Cheryl Maldonado – Travis's mom. A big supporter of the team, she was a constant on the sidelines while Travis was playing. Oversaw the signing of Passage, for some reason, and then distanced herself from the team. Lauren Lowe – Named assistant manager by Jeff after he took over the team from Joe. Kind, caring, and always happy to share, she lets Jeff make all personel decisions. Florida Big Cats “That Bitch” Carole Lewis/Baskin – Owner, manager, coach, captain. Founded the Easy Street Wild with Don Lewis but later changed the name to the Florida Big Cats. Ferocious competitor, will do anything it takes to win. Acts like the good girl in the league but has a dark side and she is very dangerous when provoked. Carole's a feisty, top line winger who drove Joe Exotic to madness, leading to his banishment from the league. Has some shady off ice tactics, and isn't afraid to play dirty. Jack Donald “Don” Lewis – Co-founder. Sex addict. A solid, top pairing defenceman who can jump into the play with his seemingly endless amount of resources which was a huge part of why Carole joined forces with him. Suffered a career ending injury late in his career shortly after asking for a trade. Nobody knows what he's up to now. Could be in Cuba. Howard Baskin – Don's replacement on the backend. More defensively minded than Don, but equally as effective. Helped the Big Cats become the powerhouse that they are. Very loyal to Carole, which could be triggered by either respect or incredible fear. Gladys Lewis Cross – Goes to every game because her daughters are there and definitely not because she's still in love with her ex husband. Kenny Farr – Equipment manager and Don's defense partner. Blames Carole for Don's injury. Joseph Fritz – Don and Carole's agent. Also not a fan of Carole, but a job is a job. Keeps a tight mouth about how much each players contract is worth. Anne McQueen – Joined the team when Don was still around, Anne is a trustworthy stay at home defencewoman. Fiercely loyal to Don and also blames Carole for ending his career. Gale Rathbone – Don's daughter, played top 6 minutes when he was with the team. She signed a long term contract, but Carole has her warming the bench every game. Lynda Sanchez – Another one of Don's daughter, she too used to play top 6 minutes with her sister but has also been reduced to a bench role. Tremendous potential wasted on both sisters. Jamie Murdock – Carole's daughter. Plays center on the second line but isn't very effective. Doesn't appear to have her mother's drive and ambition to win. Susan Bass – The teams goalie. She's steady, and always ready to bail the team out of any trouble they may get themselves in. Those 3 girls with the dead rabbits – This tricky trio is always in the mix. They make up the top line with Howard and Carole, and are certified pests. Whenever anything goes down however, they always play innocent and have the rest of the line, including Bass in nets, to bail them out of trouble. Others Mario Tabraue – Easily the biggest beauty in the league. Mario had some troubles early in his career trying to break into and keep himself in the league. But he took his punishment on the chin and now he's just glad to be on the ice without any distractions. Or so he says. James Garretson – Brought in by the league to help tame down the animosity between the Tiger Kings and Big Cats, James was a former player himself, albeit a very brief career in the minors. A big reason that Exotic got banned. Kody Antle – Doc's son, he is following in his Father's footsteps and is a very solid goalie in the minors. He's a bit more down to earth and in touch with the real world than Doc, and both are very popular with women. Amanda Green – A league executive who was part of the team that handed Joe Exotic his historic punishment. Larry Rhodes – Another league executive, who dealt with many of Exotic's minor outbursts. Issued a lot of warnings but never did anything. It was a hard fought battle both on and off the ice, between the two teams (and within the teams), with each side having the advantage at one point or another. But ultimately, the Tiger Kings wild tactics couldn't keep up with the Big Cats well planned ferociousness. They took the win in the first of what is sure to be many battles and I for one looking forward to seeing what comes out of all of this, and see who's still standing at the end. ?? Word count:1509 First claim: Mar. 30 - Apr. 5 Second Claim: Apr. 6 - Apr. 12 Third Claim: Apr. 13 - Apr. 19

4-1 Malmo

109 Malmo Nighthawks @ Vancouver Wolves 110 Toronto Legion @ Prague Phantoms 112 Helsinki Titans @ HC Davos Dynamo 113 Riga Reign @ Moscow Menace

1. Bit of a slow start but I think we can turn it around 2. I think we'll move up, currently on a 4 game win streak so that's helpful. 3. Nope, got a lot to work on to bring my GAA down 4. Goaltending and secondary scoring 5. Octarine, the Colour of Magic 6. We're in a state of emergency but I'm considered an essential worker so I just go to work and then go home. Sometimes stop for gas or groceries. So the only thing that's changed for me is that I don't do anything on weekends. But haven't lost my mind yet so that's good.

Woody McPine RB +15 (50-65) SC +15 (50-65) HS +15 (50-65) RT +15 (50-65) AG +5 (50-55) PS +5 (50-55)

Game 40 of season 71 saw the Minnesota Storm play arguably their most complete game of the year to date. Backed by solid goaltending (finally) from young tendy Woody McPine and a high powered offense, the Storm surged past the Houston Bulls 9-2. Led by a monster 4 goal, 3 assist performance by top prospect (and former Bulls player) Aleelee Kiak, the Storm seemed unstoppable all night long. Perhaps a sign of what this team can really do if McPine can get his shit together. Robin Winter (2g,3a) and Danny DeYeeto (1g,4a) each chipped in 5 points in the game, while Dick Cheezy put up 3 assists and Valtteri Vaakanainen had 2. Alex Burrows and Squirrely dan each scored once for the Storm, while Jack Feriancek and Latrell Mitchell both contributed an assist. Riley Walker and JJ Johnson scored for the Bulls, with assists coming from Gregg Stallion, Jimothy Frost, and Walker. Word count:152

Woody McPine is a young goaltender with tremendous potential to do big things in the league. Under contract with the Prague Phantoms in the VHL, he is currently the starting goaltender for the VHLMs Minnesota Storm. Everyone knows that goalies are the weirdest players in the league, so we did a little investigating into the off-ice lifestyle of Mr. McPine. Question: First off, Woody, what’s your gameday ritual look like? Woody: Wake up, make breakfast. 3-4 eggs, some bacon, toast, and a smoothie. Go for a pregame skate, go home/ back to the hotel eat lunch and laze around a bit. Probably play some Chel or Fortnite. I’m bad at both. Then have a nap, eat some dinner and head to the rink and pump some tunes and chill until its time to get ready. Q: Any go to songs on your pregame playlist? Or just a random shuffle? W: I start off with just a random playlist, depending on my mood, and then end with some classic pump up tunes. Some Guns N’ Roses, ACDC, Motley Crew, Crazy Frog, and Weird Al are always in there, as well as some local bangers like The Trews, Craymak, Joel Plaskett, Sloan. I always end off with the greatest Nova Scotia party song of all time, The Mull River Shuffle by The Rankin Family. Gets me amped as all hell. Q: What do you do on your days off? W: I like to sleep in and have a late brunch at little local spots. I’m a big fan of discovering new brunch places when I visit a city. Then I head to the gym for a couple hours before heading home to watch Netflix and lose at video games. After dinner I like to go for a walk around the city, get some fresh air. Sometimes I check out antique and thrift stores. I’ve got a huge pin collection back at my parents’ place, so I’m always looking to add to that. Then head home or to one of the boys’ place and have some beers. Q: Now, you grew up in a small town. How has that helped you on your path to success? W: Growing up, we didn’t have a lot of money for video games and things, so I was often outside. I think that helped a lot with general fitness because there’s not a lot of sitting around when you’re outside being a little shit. We played a lot of street hockey, backyard baseball, and climbed a lot of trees. I was a bit reckless and was never afraid of hurting myself which I think is part of why I found my place on the ice as a goalie. Q: If you weren’t a hockey player, what do you think you’d be doing? W: I wasn’t a very good student in school, so college or university definitely wouldn’t be an option. I’d probably be at home working the family tree farm, on my way to co-ownership with my brother. Word Count: 501

Woody McPine Goalie No thanks

F - Patrik Tallinder @pennypenny

D - Berocka Sundqvist @solas

1. Thanks! Everyone has been great, very friendly folks. 2. Ultimately, I want to win as many championships as possible, and to become the best goalie that I can be. 3. I'm hoping to learn from their wealth of experience, how to succeed and stay relevant for my whole career. 4. My goals with Minnesota are to train hard and become the best possible goalie to be ready for my big league call up, and in doing so, help the Storm to back to back 'ships. 5. Platypus. Easily the most badass animal. I'd love to be an egg laying, milk sweating, venomous spur having, waterproof mammal that people believed to be fake. Plus the ability to literally close my ears would be very helpful with the media. 6. I think a defenceman. The idea of leveling someone with a huge hipcheck as they skate over the blueline speaks to me.

+10 Woody McPine

F - Shawnomir Jagr @pennypenny

G- Greg Eagles @solas

D - Michael Gary Scott @pennypenny

F - Mat Tocco @solas you're up

Rona Szn Baby Hello hockey fans, quick update from the camp of Woody McPine regarding the Covid-19 pandemic. Woody would like all the fans, players, managers, and anybody else reading this, that he is having no symptoms of the coronavirus. He is still taking precautions, though, staying isolated at his family tree farm for as long as possible before the season starts. He urges everyone to be careful, safe, healthy, and listen to what the experts are saying. They’re experts for a reason. Woody urges everybody to stay home as much as possible. That being said, Woody is very excited to get back on the ice with his new team, the Minnesota Storm. He’s being doing a lot of work in the offseason to prepare for his second year in the VHLM, hoping to have a better year and bring home a championship. He has installed some synthetic ice in his parents’ yard and got his family to shoot pucks at him to keep him in game shape, as well as communicating with professional trainers to come up with a good, at home, fitness routine. He believes he’s in the best shape of his life and hopes that will translate to the new season. Woody would like to extend a huge thank you to diamond_ace of the Prague Phantoms and to Rayzor_7 from the Storm for seeing the potential in his game and drafting him. He was pleasantly surprised at his position in the draft and is working hard to make sure he isn’t a bust. He’s looking forward to meeting the teams and knocking back a few waters with the boys (he is still 17 after all). Everyone he’s been chatting with so far seem very friendly and he feels they’ll all have the good chemistry needed, along with the skill, to make a run for the cup. Looking ahead to the next season, Woody fully expects to stay in Minnesota (barring a trade or injury in Prague), and can’t wait to help the team with their championship defense and run it back for another ‘ship (his first of course). He’s looking to build on that experience in order to help out the Phantoms as soon as possible, potentially S72 as Brick Wahl is retiring, but won’t be disappointed at all if he stays with the Storm for another year to help build his game to the elite level he expects from himself. After the success he had in high school, Woody is looking to regain that feeling as a pro and knows that the key to success is hard work and teamwork. He demonstrated some of that teamwork last year with Las Vegas, leading all VHLM goalies with 8 assists in only 33 games. What a beauty, perhaps he should consider a position change if the whole stopping pucks thing doesn’t work out. I’ll end off with a direct quote from the man himself. “Looking forward to getting back at it with the boys, knocking out a few Ws, lifting that trophy over our heads. See everyone on the ice in a couple days!” Word count:516

1. Thank you! Very happy to go to a team with such a deep history, plus the climate is very similar to home, which I'm looking forward to. Thanks to Rayzor for having faith in me. 2. I hope so! I've been putting in work this offseason to better my game, but Hextall left some big skates to fill. 3. Absolutely, I love designing a fresh mask. I don't have any ideas as of yet, but I'm always thinking. Maybe something to honour the heritage of the team. 4. It's exciting. I'll always be greatful to the team that brought me into the league. But at the same time, looking forward to taking the old boys down! 5. I think we have a real chance, we have a good group of veteran VHML players looking to increase their stock before being called up to the big leagues. But time will tell of course. 6. One or two at least yeah, always open to tips and tricks for quick improvement though!

I'm in

1. I don't really have any expectations as to who or when I'll go, but I guess I'm going to go in one of the middle rounds. 2. Right now, I'm just focusing on what I can control. Working on my reflexes, rebound control, and some other aspects of my game. 3. I am, yeah. Planning on meeting with a goalie coach to focus on technique before the next season starts. 4. That's a tough one. There are so many great goalies out there, but I think JB Rift would be a good mentor. He's been around for a good amount of time and has had some pretty successful seasons. 5. It's a controversial decision for sure, but I think as long as everyone is careful and follows proper precautions, we'll be fine. I'm happy that I'll still get a chance to play. 6. Just wanted to say thanks to everyone who is considering drafting me. I look forward to playing with whichever organization wants me and bringing home some championships.

Woody will be available to the media for questioning.

Under The Belt With my first (partial) season in the VHLM finished, I thought I would do a little reflection on the year. It was a huge honor to be signed by the Las Vegas Aces to be their starting goaltender. It started off a bit slow, taking 6 games to get my first win against the Halifax 21st. It felt like fate, I had my friends and family at that game. It was a tight game, Hex Valentine played great for the 21st, but we managed to come back from down 2 goals to send the game to OT, thanks to The Boi getting the tying goal. Big shout out to Julian Dalvao for getting the goal and helping me get that first W, and the rest of the boys who all played their hearts out. The rest of the season was full of ups and downs, and I finished with just 7 wins, along with 23 regulation losses and 3 OT losses. Next season (wherever that may be), I hope I can have a better win percentage, as well as improve my save % (0.855) and goals against average (5.31). While I would’ve liked to get more wins, we still managed to squeak into the playoffs in 8th place to play the mighty Minnesota Storm, who had finished in 1st place. This set the stage for a monumental upset and some great stories. Unfortunately, we couldn’t pull it off and got swept in 4 games. While my save % improved from the regular season (up to 0.877), my GAA took a hit (6.25). Clearly, I have some work to do this offseason if I want to have a long career as a starter in the VHL. My plans for the offseason so far are pretty lowkey. I’ll be heading back home to stay with and help out my parents at the tree farm. I’ve saved up most of the money from my first year salary and plan on buying them some new equipment and maybe some more land. I also have plans to donate some money back to my community, repaying all those who helped me along the way, and as well, I’d like to set up a charity in my sister’s name. Hopefully it will focus on road safety, both for drivers and pedestrians. I have plans to meet up with some former teammates from school throughout the summer to work out, do some general training, and just have some fun. Hopefully I’ll see them in the league next year with me. Toward the end of summer, though, I have plans to meet a goalie coach to work on some aspects of my game that need work. I want to be as focused as possible going into next season and do my best to bring a championship to whichever city drafts me. I’m happy to play anywhere, as long as the team wants me to be there. Looking forward to getting back on the ice and seeing the guys again. - Woody Word count: 505