cosbornballboy

Need to be moved to Oslo Storm

I'd listen to this guy he knows what he's talking about

"Ya know, they always say "he sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake." They always say it. But who do they say it in reference to? Yeah, big boy Santa. That's who. He gets all the credit. And what do I get? Nothing. So you know what, I'm taking my talents elsewhere." Those were the comments from newest Goalkeeper entering the VHL Elfon Ashelf. What set him off, we may never know. But one thing is for certain. He will not be using his size to guard these shots. So we assume we will be seeing a hard dependency on his God-given ability of agility and quickness as an Elf. He will be hopping back and forth to guard the posts. Asked about his lack of development recently, he had this to say: "Well, shit, what do you expect? It's only just now Christmas time, I was doing my job of watching everyone around the world up until now." We got a chance to sit down with Elfon, here is how the interview went: CBB: Thank you for letting us sit down with you, Elfon, we know you're trying to grind out that development right before the draft, it must be tiring, so we appreciate this. EA: No problem, my man, let's get down to the thick of it now rather than later. CBB: Well, let's look at first, where would you prefer to go? Let's ask team by team and hear your thoughts. EA: Alright, shoot. CBB: First, the Yukon Rush. EA: Well let's just talk location right now, ok? CBB: Absolutely. EA: Well I mean, sure Yukon is Canada and you'd assume us elves would love Canada but I'm the Elf on a Shelf. I go anywhere I'm needed. And Canada just isn't my place. Especially not Yukon. And I'm not too sure about the branding of the team, it's just a bit off. I'll play if I get picked there, though, as a goalie can't be too picky these days... CBB: Well how about the Las Vegas Aces then? EA: To be honest, this is probably my favorite team here. Las Vegas, the heart of Western America, and the Aces is just great branding for a city like Vegas, I really like this option. CBB: Alrighty then, can we take a look at Ottawa, the Lynx? EA: I like the branding on this one, but I have the same issue here with Canada as I do with Yukon. CBB: Well then maybe not Canada, how about Oslo? EA: Too close to my former workplace, and Santa visits often there while WE do all the work, and I'd feel awkward bumping into him there, ya know? CBB: Yeah I feel you. How about the Saskatoon Wild? EA: This is the only place in Canada that I like. Saskatoon is the home of the dreamiest, sexiest teen heartthrob in the whole world, Carson Shmyr. I love him, I follow him on Instagram, and he's always on my nice list. CBB: Well then. I guess we're done here. Thank you Elfon, best of luck.

Nevermind

I didn't figure to start in VHL immediately so we cool

And I'll be the best

Player InformationUsername: cosbornballboyFull Name: Elfon AshelfPosition: GAge: 19Handedness: Right Recruited By: @ShakaPlayer AttributesTotal Points Earned: 0SK = Skating: 35SZ = Size: 35AG = Agility: 35RB = Rebound Control: 35SC = Style Control: 45 +10HS = Hand Speed: 45 +10RT = Reaction Time: 45 +10PS = Penalty Shot: 35EX = Experience: 35LD = Leadership: 35OtherJersey Number: Height (inches): Weight (lbs.): Birthplace:Awards Career Stats Player Movement Past Players

I can't do this, I need to focus on becoming a GM in @Shaka's EFL. Sorry @Beaviss

Coming into the league soon after his decision to switch to hockey, X-Wing @Aliciousness has a far way to go in front of him. Standing at 6'6", 185 pounds, @Aliciousness was perfectly built for the sport of Rugby, however, a serious leg injury in which skating was his rehabilitation led him to the sport of ice hockey. Now he's on a global stage in the semi-pro league affiliate of the VHL. One of the pros of having @Aliciousness on your team is he will never give up. Even after tearing his ACL in the first round of a Hawai'ian rugby sevens tournament, X-Wing continued to play through the entire tournament, serving as an inspiration to the rest of his team to continue playing their hardest, even leading them to the finals, sending them to the US championship where they took 3rd while he was rehabbing. He has faced numerous troubles in his life and has still played to the expectations of not only those around him but of himself as well. (@Aliciousness fights through the pain of a torn ACL in the third round of a Rugby Sevens tournament) The second pro of having @Aliciousness on a team is his ability to work. It is well known that the agency that @Aliciousness is represented by, BallBoy Law, represents many different players in other leagues and other sports, with Ricardo Sandoval and L'Carpetron Dookmarriot being of note. These agencies are very active in helping their clients improve their skills and become better players in a short time. This should transfer easily over to the VHL, as they have the most accessible training facilities for players. The final pro for having X-Wing @Aliciousness on a VHL organization is the economic benefit. Who doesn't want to wear a jersey that says "@ALICIOUSNESS" on the back of it? I'll tell you right now, looking at this young player's jersey sales for the Hawai'i Harlequins, this man is sure to increase jersey sales for any team that picks him up. On top of that, @Aliciousness' marketability as a personality is just as fantastic. He loves fans, and will never refuse to sign an autograph or take a photo. (@Aliciousness interacting with a fan in the semi-pro NHL league) However, there are cons to @Aliciousness' game. First of all, as a rugby player, Ward never played youth hockey or any competitive hockey, so he has only been playing for a short 2 years, and this can lead to complications like misunderstanding rules and not knowing situations. Another con is that Ward is not used to playing a contact sport in pads, and this can sometimes lead to him trying to make athletic plays that are simply unachievable with the restricting force of hockey pads, such as hurdling a player, as well as wrapping other players up in his arms. Finally, the most troubling of all, the reality that that ACL can re-tear at any moment at all, as after ACL surgery, you are 6 times more likely to re-tear it. We will see how X-Wing holds up under the pressures. Overall, we have not seen nearly enough of X-Wing @Aliciousness' game to evaluate truly whether he will be a force in the league, but we believe there is a strong chance. (545 words)

YOU DONE MESSED UP AY AY RON

That's my EFL guy lol

Yo, Scrub, I know you man! What's good bro?

Hey guys, I have some experience in football sims, but this is my first time doing hockey, so wish me luck!

Accepted

Player Information Username: cosbornballboy Full Name: X-Wing @Aliciousness Position: RW Age: 17 Handedness: Ambidextrous Recruited By/From: NSFL Would you like an experienced member to mentor you? Yes please Player Attributes Total Points Earned: 30 TPE Available: 0 CK = Checking: 40 FG = Fighting: 40 DI = Discipline: 40 SK = Skating: 45 ST = Strength: 40 PH = Puck Handling: 47 FO = Face Offs: 40 PA = Passing: 50 SC = Scoring: 48 DF = Defense: 40 PS = Penalty Shot: 40 EX = Experience: 40 LD = Leadership: 40 Other Jersey Number: 12 Height (inches): 78 Weight (lbs.): 185 Birthplace: Honolulu, HI, USA Awards Career Stats Player Movement Past Players