Grape

Ah, my bad. Portal said he was a free agent

Can't wait for every Fantasy Zone question to be based on San Diego, Cologne, and Warsaw

And just like that you've lost all potential applicants

This has to be the most one-sided trade I've ever seen

Fourth and final claim

Can't wait to not pick any of these guys

6/32. Yikers

Maybe it's time for me to recreate

Applying for commish

confirm

offseason signing legend

French Canadian I guess

Week Three Claim

I cooked

Shawty Nananana might have a little gas left in the tank

iirc, those extra 3 bot games for Calgary was against other lottery teams...

All this just to rig it for Moscow

Sounds like life to me tbh

Week 2 Claimo

Maybe this time I'll be selected by Team Europe

Obuz Schneider Canet du Bocage Defensemen 6'8" 250lbs VHLM Stats: 144GP, 33G, 96A, 129P, -52 Drafted By: Moscow Menace (12th) Obuz Schneider Canet du Bocage is an offensive defenseman originating from France. Playing in Halifax, he showed a strong two-way game, despite being on a team that typically struggled on the defensive side of the puck. The Moscow Menace selected him late in the first round of the S90 VHL draft, with high hopes that he develops into a franchise level defenseman. Pros: Offense Bocage has a very powerful shot and often uses it to either score or generate rebounds for his teammates. Over the course of his VHLM career, he averaged over 2.5 shots per game. His slapshot is one of the strongest in the league, and allows him to generate offense from the blue line. While shooting is his focus, Bocage has an underrated passing game, able to move the puck around the ice effectively. Of his 33 goals in the VHLM, 15 of them were on the powerplay, showing his effectiveness as a powerplay quaterback. Leadership For the majority of his two seasons in Halifax, Bocage was the only defenseman on the roster, and even with a lack of help for large portions both seasons, he was able to excel. Moving into a young Moscow roster, Bocage should be able to use this experience to slide into a leadership role and assist in mentoring the other blueliners, as well as quarterback the powerplay and run the offense reliably. Defense/Physical Play In his time with Halifax, Obuz was able to average roughly 2.5 hits and 2.5 shot blocks per game, able to neutralize offensive chances and slow down the rush through crushing body checks. While he is focused on the offensive side of the game, he has been able to utilize his staggering size to provide a strong physical edge and shut down opposing offenses. Cons: Skating Ability Being a large body on the blue line, Bocage is one of the slower skaters on the ice at a time. The majority of time, he plants himself on the blue line when in the offensive zone, and is one of the first to back check when a turnover occurs to compensate for his below average speed. It is a concern if this lack of speed and skating ability will let his offensive game translate in the VHL. Discipline In his 144 games with Halifax, Obuz put up 155 PIMS. His physical edge coupled with his lack of skating ability led to late hits and desperation penalties and kept sending him to the penalty box. If he wants to be a top producer in the VHL, he needs to work on his discipline and learn to stop committing bad penalties.

Back in the recreate wave, one fine upstanding user by the name of @Dil did a little funny and created a character by the name of "Shut Up Ruutu" (still shows up in the index as that too). Sure, telling someone to shut up may not be very nice, but the discourse that was spawned by it was quite amusing to say the least. It was not overly abusive per-say, honestly quite tame in terms of "going after someone". But eventually, the name was forced to be changed to a more acceptable "Rainbow Colours", which, under context, is still pretty funny, but it loses that blunt charm that the original had. Ruutu is a big boy, I think he can handle a funny name at his expense that he will likely rarely see on a regular basis. I doubt having a name telling someone to shut up will cause that much distress amongst the league. But the big big piece of it all, was that it was kind of funny. I can understand blatant harassment of a user is a huge no no and whatnot, but this? I doubt many people would be too upset with this. If it’s done in good faith, then I see no issue with it. If people want to openly insult me or whatever on the forum, feel free. I won’t be mad, so long as it’s funny.

To me the entire season was rigged so it'd make sense that the postseason is too

10. Ottawa Lynx (15-49-8) FD Ranking: 9th (0.122) Goalie Ranking: 10th (98 TPA) Players In: Josh Caz, William Wallace, Rat Pans Players Out: N/A Ottawa was primed to be at the bottom of the standings from the very beginning. Having been unable to bolster the roster very much through the draft or the waiver wire, this team struggled throughout the entire season and was pretty much out of every game they played. Goaltending, defense, and offense were all pretty much at the bottom of the league ever since the season started. They hope to bounce back in the draft and get back into contention. 9. Houston Bulls (17-49-6) FD Ranking: 10th (0.052) Goalie Ranking: 6th (166 TPA) Players In: Keegan Vos, Kimi Raikkonen, Jeffrey Howard Dewberry Kalin Players Out: Joshua Schwarzer, Toby Kadachi, Joseph Holm Houston was pretty much out of the playoff conversation as soon as the playoffs started. Never able to get any defensemen on the roster, their defense became a pure turnstile and oppositions were free to score at will. The offense, lacking any true superstars, especially after trading away both Schwarzer and Kadachi early into the season. The only real competition this team had was with Ottawa for the first overall pick. While they held that spot for the majority of the season, at the last sim, they sucked just a little less than Ottawa and bumped up to 9th, ceding that first pick to Ottawa. Looking at the draft however and the picks this team has, a slide from 1 to 2 is not too much of a blow. 8. Halifax 21st [-1] (25-39-8) FD Ranking: 6th (0.626) Goalie Ranking: 9th (98 TPA) Players In: Olumide Anderson, Shaunca, Demko, Guntis Gavilrovs Players Out: N/A The start of the season was pretty bleak to say the least. Without a goalie, they struggled mightily, despite bolstering a decently strong forward group. Eventually, they were able to get a goalie, and then their defense showed weakness, with only having one defenseman on the roster. At the trade deadline, they were able to get a player via waivers to fill that spot, and thus their roster was complete. However, those early season woes means they have to go up against the best team in the regular season as their first playoff opponent. While their roster is good and their weaknesses at least patched up, they’re likely to struggle against the juggernaut before them. They’ll go as far as their goaltending takes them, and based on their TPA, that likely won’t be very far. 7. Mexico City Kings [-6] (28-39-5) FD Ranking: 3rd (0.690) Goalie Ranking: 8th (152 TPA) Players In: Rory Sullivan, Tom Dufour Players Out: Kirk Van Him, Motionless Kleaver I really got burned by this pick. On paper, at the start of the season, this team was arguably the best and was primed to start off strong. Well, they did not. They bumbled and fumbled and flopped around at the start sitting near the bottom and stayed there for the entire season. Even still, on paper, this is a strong team. Their record is not necessarily indicative of the roster this team has. Their main issue is offensive production. While they’re about middle of the league in goals against, they are down with the bottom feeder teams in terms of goals for. If they want to truly compete at the level that their roster should have them at, there needs to be a strategy change to either score more goals or become a true shutdown team and keep games low scoring. 6. Philadelphia Reapers [+2] (30-34-8) FD Ranking: 8th (0.505) Goalie Ranking: 7th (165 TPA) Players In: Daniel Temple, Vlad Von Carstein Players Out: Eno Velson Philadelphia has had and still has one of the thinnest rosters in the league, and yet they were able to stay close to the middle. They were able to find the perfect line combinations with the slim pickings that they had to get the most out of their relatively weak team, and were able to stay around the middle in both goals for and goals against. Not much roster change has occurred with this team, and honestly they haven’t needed it. They got their two defensemen, a good goalie, and some decently strong forwards. Will they do anything in the playoffs? Probably not to be honest. But a decent season from a team that really should be worse than they actually are. 5. Miami Marauders [-1] (39-27-6) FD Ranking: 2nd (0.765) Goalie Ranking: T-1st (200 TPA) Players In: Eno Velson, Logan Ninefingers, Riley Martin, Giorgiy Costanzov Players Out: Liam Evans, Hershey McFleury, Joakim Norden Miami is one of the few teams that benefited greatly from the recreate wave, bolstering their team and making them a lot better than what their record would have you believe. While defense is still relatively thin with only two defenseman on the roster, their forward core is deep and elite, and should make it hell for the opposing netminders. This team is one that has a legitimate chance to, at least in terms of the standings, cause some upsets in the playoffs. So long as the offensive production doesn’t go cold, they should be chugging along the postseason just fine. 4. Las Vegas Aces [+2] (47-19-6) FD Ranking: 7th (0.519) Goalie Ranking: T-1st (200 TPA) Players In: Bric Sheithaus, Caesar Monterrey, Jean-Marc Lemieux, Elle Aura Ashe, George Richmond Players Out: Jaja Dingdong, Zacharie Masse, Barry McOckiner Vegas is a team that always seems to have no problems with getting waiver players to help flesh out their roster, and this was the case again, getting a large chunk of players early on which have kept them strong throughout. Their defense is very solid and while their forwards are a little low TPA wise, they have the depth to jumble the lines up if things go cold. This team did recently take a pretty massive blow, having one of their better forwards go IA and having to drop them right before the playoffs started. That is going to serve as a pretty big issue going forward if they want to make a push for the cup. 3. Saskatoon Wild [-1] (48-16-8) FD Ranking: 1st (0.835) Goalie Ranking: 5th (199 TPA) Players In: Joshua Schwarzer Players Out: Jean-Marc Lemieux, Henry Ford Saskatoon is one of the deepest teams forward wise, having 10 forwards on the roster. What is really amazing about this team is that they got zero waiver players all season long. Their roster is built up out of their draft picks and a trade here and there. How well this team performed and honestly how good the roster looks speaks volumes on their (now former) GM’s drafting ability. This is definitely a competitive team and a team to watch this playoffs and potentially next season as well, since they could very likely retain a decent group of players going into Season 91. 2. Mississauga Hounds [+1] (54-16-2) FD Ranking: 4th (0.681) Goalie Ranking: T-1st (200 TPA) Players In: Joseph Dubois, Alfonzo Fineski, Toby Kadachi, Suetekh Kos, DB IV Players Out: Pierre-luc Dutil Mississauga’s offense is the offense. Full stop. Their forward core is absolutely lethal and can and will put the puck in the back of the net. Their defense is not too shabby either, having a strong top two guys with some decent help below them. This team is one that should and I believe will have a legit chance of going all the way. A lot of max players means next season, they will likely be pretty low in the standings, so they have to make the most of it here and now. 1. San Diego Marlins [+4] (57-13-2) FD Ranking: 5th (0.631) Goalie Ranking: T-1st (200 TPA) Players In: Trevor Parsons, Thickums Mcgillacutty, Vanellope von Schweetz, Adi Dassler, Rainbow Colours Players Out: N/A This team absolutely feasted on the recreates this trade deadline, making their strong, deep roster even stronger and deeper. Their forwards? Nasty. Defense? Even nastier. This is the de facto cup favorite and it is hard to argue against that. The only team roster wise that can match them is Mississauga and maybe, if I’m a couple bottles deep, Miami. While the initial acquisition of the recreates should have hurt the team, as bringing in lower TPA guys and taking time away from higher TPA guys should hurt the team, San Diego did not slow down very much and those recreates are starting to catch up. Overall, this should be a fun squad to watch and see what they can do. Playoff Matchups 1. San Diego Marlins vs 8. Halifax 21st As I said before, Halifax will only go as far as their goaltending takes them, and when put up against a juggernaut like San Diego, that is not going to be very far at all. This series is not gonna last long at all, and I predict it’ll be a clean sweep, no gentlemen here. Despite the high hopes Halifax had coming into this season, they simply will not get past this Marlins team San Diego wins 4-0 2. Mississauga Hounds vs. 7. Mexico City Kings Mississauga is a team that can pretty much score at will. Mexico City is a team that couldn’t score to save their life. The only way Mexico City gets out of this series is with a major strategy change to basically turn them into the New York Islanders and play some of the most boring hockey known to man and make every game end up as 2-1 or 3-2. Mexico City is not that bad of a team, they simply can’t score though. Mississauga is not only better than Mexico City in every way possible, but they can actually score too. Even if Mexico City New York Islanders it up, it’s pretty evident that Mississauga will win. Mississauga wins 4-1 3. Saskatoon Wild vs. 6. Philadelphia Reapers Another interesting matchup. Saskatoon with an immensely deep roster and a multitude of line combinations to change up the team if the first couple games go south, versus Philly who pretty much has to rock with whatever the sims give them. In every category, Saskatoon has Philly beat, and will likely stomp them pretty handedly. Philly could probably steal a game but that’s about it. Saskatoon wins 4-1 4. Las Vegas Aces vs. 5. Miami Marauders This is what I feel the first “upset” would be. Las Vegas, especially after that major blow of one of their top players going IA, is actually pretty weak. Miami, on the other hand, got a huge boost due to the recreate wave and looks a lot stronger than what their record shows. This will definitely be the tightest of the series, just because these teams are actually somewhat close compared to everyone else, but I see Miami getting the edge in 6. Miami wins 4-2 2nd Round 1. San Diego Marlins vs. 5. Miami Marauders The two teams that benefited from the recreates the most. Honestly it is poetic for these two to meet. In all honesty, I think Miami has a legit chance to upset. Their forward group as a whole is a lot stronger than San Diego and while San Diego has the depth, Miami has that star power on defense that we saw during the regular season. What this will come down to is a legendary goaltender duel between Slezak and Syko, who have been pretty damn close in the goalie rankings throughout the season, and it is fitting that they match off against each other. This is a series that I feel will go the distance, with Miami edging off the Marlins right at the end. Miami wins 4-3 2. Mississauga Hounds vs. 3. Saskatoon Wild This feels like arguably the hardest matchup in the entire playoffs. Both these teams showcase a plethora of elite talent on both sides of the puck. This is one of those series that either team really could win it, and also one that feels like it’ll either go the distance or be a sweep. That being said, I just find it really hard to bet against Mississauga this season, and I see them absolutely shocking the Wild in a sweep. Mississauga win 4-0 Final 2. Mississauga Hounds vs. 5. Miami Marauders All upsets must come to an end eventually, and this is where Miami’s stops. Mississauga is simply better than Miami in practically every way, and while I was able to argue for Miami’s case in their first two matchups, I’m not able to here. Mississauga is built to win, and they will. I feel like this series will be decently close, but there really won’t be much doubt for who the victor will be. Mississauga wins 4-2 (2141 words)