dylanjj37

@Maxx please confirm i recruited you

1. What was your initial reaction when you heard your name called as the 5th overall pick by the Las Vegas Aces? They didn't call my name so I was very disappointed. Truly heartbroken. 2. How do you plan to bring your unique style to the Aces, and what can fans expect from you this season? Thank you for noticing my unique style! I will be bringing it to the Aces by offering my teammates personal coaching sessions in how to be like me for a very reasonable fee. 3. How do you see yourself fitting in? Of course I am going to "fit in". The team is literally made for me. It's my team. 4. How do you handle pressure on and off the field? There is no pressure. You don't need to worry about anything. You just have to play to get paid. Don't need to win. 5. What are your personal goals for your rookie season with the Aces? I was here last season for a while but this season I want to be best which will be easy because I am the best. 6. How do you plan to develop your game to meet the challenges of the VHL? I don't know what the VHL is. I am in the VHLM and my game is already perfect for it.

@TheHockey_pro please confirm

@TheHockey_pro @Maxx

There is no need to worry. The animals are secure with Ivan Zampony as their leader.

Was this written by an AI? I have no idea what any of this villain talk is about and Manny's uncle Juan???????? Juan is his father.

seems biased

Uncle Jake was too hungover.

When Juan Ceson agreed to host Victory Hockey League’s birthday party, he thought it sounded like the worst idea ever but his friend Jake Thunder convinced him to hire out his resort to the league. Renting out his hotel and casino, and selling individual tickets to the event to hundreds of people, Juan made thousands of dollars in just one evening on top of what he would normally make. It was one of the most lucrative nights of his life. Unfortunately, he stayed up so late hosting the party and keeping an eye on his casino (and testing it to check the gambling still worked), he forgot to set his wake up alarm which he needed to be able to take his son Manny to practice in the morning. Manny struggled to find a way to get the practice facility without a lift from his father and ended up missing a third of practice by the time he arrived! It was all Jake Thunder’s fault. @Thunder @TheHockey_pro

I will eat you.

1. Spartan finally broke the curse of Moscow by winning the cup, how do you think we did against them in our series? I think Warsaw did really well in the playoffs and they should have won but Spartan bribed the refs. 2. This is unfortunately my last week as Warsaw AGM, are you happy or sad to see me go? I am sad to see you go. Whose press conferences will I do now? 3. I'll be taking over GM duties for Houston in the M, what are some suggestions you have for me? You should re-retire the retired numbers that were accidentally unretired by the old GM. 4. What are your goals for the offseason? I won't be scoring any goals in the offseason as it is the offseason and not the time to be scoring goals. 5. Should @MexicanCow123 sign somewhere in the EU, possibly a country that Germany invaded? No, he should sign in Mexico on a Mexican team because he is a Mexican Cow. But if that's not available, then yes. 6. How weird would a VHL meetup be? Really weird. I don't want to meet anyone from VHL unless I have multiple bodyguards.

you forgot to tag the vhl, star of the party (except juan) @TheHockey_pro also absolutely no costs are covered and all guests will be recieving a bill after

No, he is a star player now. Juan is endorsing him to go 1oa.

Juan Ceson, known for being the best defenseman to ever play in the VHLM, is also one of the nicest people to have graced the league’s ice. As an act of kindness, he will often help the less fortunate (much like his son who recently raised thousands of dollars to help a shoeless old lady). Recently, Juan has despaired at the lack of shot blocking ability in the modern VHLM talent. Seeing future first overall pick Samsayz I-Smell being unable to block any shots at a Houston practice one day, Juan knew something had to be done. He arranged to give Samsayz a personal shot blocking masterclass to ensure that he would be the only viable first overall pick choice. Normally, this class could cost hundreds of thousands of dollars, if you could even book one at all. Juan is particularly fussy over who he coaches. But now, Samsayz I-Smell is one of the best shot blockers in the VHLM (behind Manny Ceson) and should definitely be picked first overall. @CaptainSB

1. If Moscow manages to win the cup is that any consolation for the fact that we lost to them? Yes that means you could be the second best team in the league (although you are actually first). 2. If you could undo any trade in VHL history, what would it be? Undo the first Juan Ceson trade. Juan should never have been traded away from Vegas. 3. What song would you pick to be the anthem of the VHL? There shouldn't be an anthem. Just 3 minutes of silence. 4. What can you hold in your right hand, but never in your left hand? I can't hold my left hand in my left hand but I can hold it in my right hand. 5. Will Warsaw ever win a playoff series? Yes, of course they will. They are the best team in the league and only choosing to lose to make things more exciting. 6. Would you like Fantasy Zone to be moved to the portal? Get rid of fantasy zone. I don't even know what it is.

its possible if all the teams pass after the first pick

This offseason, the opportunity Juan Ceson had been waiting for for many seasons finally arrived. It had taken a long time but he finally had a goalie who was willing to play for his hockey team. All the other goalies had not been up to the right standards. Now, Juan was able to put together a team of the very best players in the VHL, past and present, to play in his very own invitational league. Juan had been in close contact with the GM of the DC Dragons, John Frostbeard, since his son’s bakesale fundraiser (John Frostbeard is an excellent baker and if you’ve got a cake to bake and got no clue at all make sure you go to him for help), Ceson managed to arrange the use of the Dragons arena to hold the Dragons Invitational League (the name was sadly part of the agreement). First, Juan hired Marlins GM to GM and coach the team for him. Then, Juan recruited the best players possible to play for his team, sponsored by the world’s favourite fast food restaurant, the Shindogs Shufflers. He bought in the members of the Juan Ceson’s Development Program – Stan Par, Ant R. Sap and Rat Pans – as well as the star of the Juan Ceson movie, Pat Snar. Jeffrey Pines Jr., the long awaited goalie filled the crease. The captain of the team was, of course, future VHLM star Manny Ceson, Juan’s son, and Manny brought along a friend he made while living in Halifax, former Halifax 21st star, John Season. Somehow, despite many disagreements over the years, Bryn Yrwy, a Halifax 21st legend with his number in the rafters, also agreed to participate in the tournament. For some added star power, Juan invited international superstars and game show hosts, Rick Osman and Alex Armstrong to round out the team. With six defensemen, one goalie and only three forwards (Yrwy, Pans and Sap), the team was complete. Juan is a big believer in the defence-first strategy and so limited the number of forwards that teams are allowed to use as everyone knows forwards are useless. Next, Juan started looking for the perfect GM/coach for the opposing team. The McDonald’s Mavericks, starring Ronald McDonald himself, needed a top-notch leader and so Juan’s new goalie Jeffrey Pines Jr. recruited his father, Bratislava Watchmen GM, Jeffrey Pines. Jeffrey was more than willing to help as he is a big fan of Juan Ceson. Between them, they recruited several players who Juan deemed of a high enough standard to play against his own Shindogs Shufflers. Up front he got Robin Sierra and David Michael, along with Ronald McDonald. In goal was the appropriately named Draw Mac. Finally, on defence were Samsayz I-Smell (a possible future VHL first overall pick), Kurt Bachmann (known for always coming in blutch), Dustin Moore (a player), Boris Bone-Breaker (who will hopefully break some people’s bones), a representative from the Victory Hockey League and also Frank Smungus, who had never played in the VHL or any of its leagues before but who Juan found on a website someone and persuaded to come along. Both teams were stacked with great players and coaches and now it was just a matter of waiting and seeing which team would come out on top.

I never lose. Sometimes it looks like I've lost, but I haven't.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY @TheHockey_pro

i dont switch sides, im always in the middle!

its because you didnt come to my party

Organising a team camping trip with a team that isn’t even his is not something Manny Ceson ever thought he would do, but the Halifax 21st GM asked him to organise a fun team bonding activity since Manny is known for being very fun and also good at organising. It seemed like a great idea and all the team were willing to join in on the fun, even Ace Wilde, until they found out their tent would be next to GM Lexie Leitner’s tent as Leitner is known to be a very loud snorer. The trip was very fun and everyone had a great time with songs around the campfire and s’mores. Nobody even got burnt! Unfortunately, Lexie Leitner did get very muddy, wet feet as it turned out she didn’t bother to bring any shoes on the trip. She didn’t even wear any to get to the campsite! Aside from this, the trip was a definite success.

1. The playoffs are officially underway, what player do you think will be the MVP? My favourite little gnomey boi will be MVP. Or at least whatever the GM equivalent of MVP is. 2. Who do you predict will go 1OA in S95's VHL draft? I have no idea. I don't follow the VHL. Maybe Krice. 3. Do you think we'll have a long or short offseason? Long offseason. It is always a long offseason while the commies sit around and do nothing. 4. Has @Garsh ever not been super literal? Garsh is always so garsh. He's always garshing my vibes. I don't know if he's been super literal though. 5. Should Beketov's child be appointed commissioner effective immediately? No. Beketov's child should be banned from the league indefinitely to prevent nepotism. 6. What do you think @N0HBDY will do in the offseason to improve the team (or tank)? Fire little gnomey boi. Who will then go on to get a much better job on a much better team.

when will zaps want their cat back?

why would the cesons hire a security guard? it was the ladys shop. she shouldve had better security.