thadthrasher

@Victor

The image you see above is startling. That is the mugshot of Halifax 21st's back-up goaltender, Michael Scott (aka Prison Mike). Now, as you read this you may be thinking to yourself, "I thought the Halifax 21st back-up goaltender was Thadius Sales?" If you found yourself asking this question, then you'd be right. Michael Scott (Prison Mike) is indeed Thadius Sales! It turns out that the 27-year-old Rookie goaltender has a past that is shocking, and leaves us all wondering, "how in the world is he now playing for the VHLM?" After he was acquired by the Halifax 21st, an interview was conducted in which Sales had this to say... What was intriguing was that Sales never once mentioned a previous career in hockey. In fact, according to our research, the man never played a game of hockey in his life, prior to his Halifax acquisition. He has no history of goaltending, and according to a few of our sources he had never really even watched a hockey game before. We decided to dive a bit deeper, assuming that he opened up to a few guy in prison. We approached Sales' old cell-mate, Martin Nash (Pictured to the right next to Sales), to see if he could shed a bit of light on Sales. "He was certainly an interesting guy. He kept to himself for the most part, until one day we were both in the rec room. Actually, that picture you have of us is of both of us watching TV in the rec room together. In fact, we were watching a VHL game, and that's what sparked Prison Mike's....uhm...sorry, Sales' interest in hockey. After we watched the game and I explained how everything worked he said to me, 'when I get outta here, dats what I'm gonna do.' So, from that point on we spent our rec time practicing. He'd stand next to the fence and I'd just throw rocks at the dude for hours. It was weird, the guy never flinched. I thought for sure after I hit him a few times in the face he'd start showing some fear, but nothing changed." It seems that even while Sales had no prior training in hockey, or even an interest, prison changed him. It gave him something to look forward to, and that's incredibly commendable. After spending a few years in prison and being pelted with rocks by Martin, other prisoners, and guards, Sales eventually developed his unorthodox of goaltending. He became, according to some, the hero of the prison, even though he continued to claim that he "nevah got caught, neither." Through his stint in prison, and desire to grow in his hockey knowledge, Sales started reading up on classic hockey players and adapting their routines as best as he could. Nash claimed that one of the greatest things Sales did while in prison was claiming that he originally came up with the popular phrase "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take," although we all knew that was coined by Wayne Gretzky. We actually found a CCTV shot of Sales' cell where we can see that this quote inspired him. Overall, Sales has a background that is unique and unseen. He brings about a story that is inspiring to any and all hockey fans. Even when life seems hopeless, when it seems like there is nothing you can do to fix what you broke, Sales has proven that change can happen. So, now, instead of prison inmates trying to get rocks passed Sales' head in the yard, Sales finds himself in a professional rink stopping hockey pucks shot by elite hockey players. He's shown that there is never a bad time to fall in love with hockey and pursue your dream of being a professional player. As we conclude this Junior Review we wish to leave you with a picture. If you have never seen Sales' face as he takes shots on the ice, you're lucky. The face that he gives is enough to unnerve even the most veteran of players. We suppose that his composure comes from years in prison and taking rocks to the face. Either way, the face you see below is exactly what Sales' opposition sees every time they try to light the red lamp. We feel sorry for them.

I'm literally in love with everything that you have written down. As soon as I read, "Whether they're busy sucking like they have in the past, or busy winning like every other time when they're not busy sucking (mostly just hogan does)," I knew that I was in for a good read. It's great to see the Bears venturing out into new territory. The menu items you have showcased have made me hunger beyond control, especially for the @Jubis tear-salt covered Jubby Fries. Very creative, and well written! 10/10

I think this is a really good looking graphic! It's simple, effective, and sticks to a theme that you currently have. Really, my only critique would be that you move the bar off of his eyes. Usually, people's eyes are drawn to other people's eyes. However, this may just be personal preference, so take it with a grain of salt. I do love the stacked last name with the signature on top of it, very cool! Overall, 10/10

1. Obviously there needs to be a haunted house. We could turn the rink into one and bring in some great actors. 2. Since I haven't known our GM for very long I think a safe answer would be a tube of M&Ms. He seems to be a man who enjoys chocolate, and who doesn't love the little tube that they come in! 3. Thadius Sales intends to wear his brick wall costume, let's hope it gives him a performance boost. 4. Clearly he needs to dress up as Andre the Giant. Imagine that skating at you! 5. My player seems to be handling rebounds fairly well. 8. As a Penguins fan would it be fair for me to say...the Penguins! The Penguins are in desperate need of a quality goaltender, and if Halifax can work with Thadius Sales a bit more then a shift up to the NHL would be great for both Pittsburgh and Sales.

At the end of last week, it was expected that Halifax 21st backup goaltender Thadius Sales would see some time in the net, but that start came sooner than expected. Sales found himself skating onto the ice for his very first VHLM game against the Mississauga Hounds. Facing 29 shots, it seems that nerves got to the rookie goaltender as 4 of those shots found themselves in the back of the net, giving Sales a save percentage of .862 for his first game. Sales gave up two goals in the first period, had a shutout second, and gave up two more in the third. Overall, 3 of the 4 goals against Halifax were delivered by the hands of the Hounds’ power play unit, who had 6 opportunities to score on the power play altogether. While Halifax fans would have loved to have seen a more stellar performance from Sales during his first game, most fans seemed generally optimistic that this rookie goaltender could only get better from here. A Second Game Win Hearing the optimism that fans had, Sales seems to have been able to shake off the nerves and bring in his first VHLM win during his second game against the Mexico City Kings. With a .867 save percentage, Sales stopped 26 of the 30 shots that he faced. While these are, again, not stellar statistics, those in front of Sales were able to pepper Kings’ goaltender Markus Emerson Jr. with enough shots to secure the 6-4 win. Giving up two goals in both the first and second periods, Sales dominated the crease in the 3rd, stopping 14/14 shots on goal for a shutout period. After two games played Sales finds himself with a .864 SV% and 4.0 GAA, being among the lowest in the league. However, with only two games contributing to these stats, there’s no telling where Sales may find himself within those columns after a few more starts in the net. Final Thoughts It’s evident that Sales has a lot of work still to do. His unorthodox style of goaltending seemed to throw off players on the ice, but after catching on they were able to find the chinks in his armor. While showing that he has the ability to stop a high number of shots, it may behoove Sales to learn a few lessons from more seasoned goaltenders and find a more orthodox approach to his goaltending. Halifax 21st management had this to say about Sales: These next few games will be crucial for Sales, since the season is coming to a close. It is certain that Halifax 21st starting goaltender, Kevin Malone, will get most if not all of the playoff ice-time. Being the case, Sales only has a few more opportunities left to prove himself to Halifax fans, management, and teammates. ------------------------ 642 Words Week ending 10/25/2020

The unleavened bread?

Let’s be honest, by the end of last week we still weren’t sure what the Halifax 21st saw in their newly acquired 27-year-old backup goaltender. We discussed before why we believe they picked this old rookie up, but what we saw this week during the 21st practice sessions certainly filled in the blanks. Let us be the first to say, this guy is good. While he may be a bit unorthodox, Sales has proven in his first week as Halifax’s backup goaltender that he is willing to work hard to be the best. His hardened past certainly showed up today as he never even flinched taking some of these impressive shots. A few of those shots that Sales faced seemed impossible to stop, but he proved us all wrong. The highlight of the practice session was when Sales faced a three on one situation. Defending was Kate Upton, and the three forwards were Michael Hall, Riley Couture, and Theodore James St. Louis. Blowing by Upton at the blue line, Couture gave a tape-to-tape pass to Hall on the left going towards Sales. After a few dirty dangles Hall faked a shot that should have fooled almost any goaltender, but not Sales. He tracked the puck as it skirted in front of him over to St. Louis who dropped to one knee as he delivered a one-timer that would scare even the most veteran goaltender. Sales, already sliding with the puck, reached over to the left with his blocker and punched the puck away while doing something very impressive, staring St. Louis in the eyes as if to say, “not this time bud.” After the practice ended, we approached the Halifax coaching staff with one question, when will the fans see Sales in the net? Hearing this, Sales could only grin. We know that Malone has been an essential part of the Halifax team, but if Sales can keep doing what he showed us today, we know that he will be a worthy fill-in for Malone when needed. What should be exciting is that if Malone can continue to help groom Sales on and off the ice, the VHL very well could see the greatest goaltender of all time. --------------------------------- 514 words, using for PT week ending Oct 18th

This is an amazing media spot. Reading through it I started to believe that Lospenov was a real player. The attention to detail here makes every name, move, and statistic believable. Overall, I believe that this is a great introduction of Lospenov, letting us know who he is. I especially appreciate your mention of Lospenov's agent, Tomas Javilaoux, garnishing the eyes of VHL scouts and general managers. I think if you keep adding this much detail to your media spots you will always offer an entertaining and believable read. Well done! 10/10

I think this is a very good graphic! Under the banner you can see a big of the lynx, which seems a bit untidy. Maybe you could brush that out or expand the banner's size a bit to cover it. Another option could be to have that bottom right corner as a solid color and add in whatever Suzuki's number is. With that, the shadow behind the "Ottawa Lynx" seems a bit strong, but I think that's more personal taste. Overall, 8/10!

Dude, I just saw the Russian at the bottom lol. Did you get that recent COVID-19 vaccine?

Good move, congratulations on your signing!

After a reply like that @VHLM GM y'all have no choice but to pick him up!

Vanek Lospenov (@Gretzky didnt lift da puck) is looking to be picked up by a team during the mid part of the VHL season. Curious as to who he is, we'd like to ask a few questions. 1) How did you find yourself interested in playing professional hockey? 2) What are some strengths you bring to the VHL? 3) What are some weaknesses that potential GM's should know about? 4) How would you describe your play style? 5) What is the best play you have ever done? 6) How many sticks have you broken over your career?

Dang! Well, that's okay, maybe next season

I have recruited the following Neanderthals: - @Gretzky didnt lift da puck - @Eldredman - @LuluSalesAway - @Justin Burg - @Herradura - @BigHunky - @Yemnac - @Guriinwoodo - @Doug Dimmadome - @usouj - @DansNewLegs Please confirm I recruited you!

@Dil this is a guy we need on Halifax ?

A Puzzling Acquirement As the season continues to roll along, the league leading Halifax 21st have found themselves signing rookie goaltender Thadius Sales and placed him as their backup goaltender. Puzzled by this move, fans have found themselves asking one question, "Why?" When you look at the statistics behind the Halifax 21st organization, it seems as though a backup goaltender is the last thing they need. Not only have they won 89% of their regular season games, they are still in the single digits when it comes to that L column. With that, the stats for Halifax goaltender Kevin Malone are astounding: 44GP, 39-4-1, 0.921SV%, 1.42GAA, 14SO, 794SA This recent acquiring of Thadius Sales is certainly not motivated by a desire to replace the league leading goaltender Malone. So, who is Thadius Sales, and why is he here? Who is Thadius Sales? On the surface, Sales seems to be your average guy. Coming into the game late at 27, he seems to have a mysterious past that he isn’t all too open about, however, after pressing a bit we were able to get some more information out of him. Here’s what he had to say: A Charitable Move After finding out more about Sales it seems that his acquiring by Halifax was not because of a need for another goaltender, it seems to have been a charitable move. Halifax has shown the VHLM and the VHL that they are willing to do something that many organizations are not, hire an ex-felon. While it is unclear whether or not Thadius Sales actually went to prison, since he said he “nevah got caught,” this move has garnished much respect for the Halifax organization. There are currently no statistics available regarding Sales’ experience in front of the net, so it can only be assumed that his highlight reel showed something very special that impressed the Halifax front office. Now, for the rest of us, it’s only a matter of time before we see what Sales has to offer on the ice.

Bradley, Congratulations on your recent signing with San Diego. We'd like to ask you a few questions regarding your new move. 1) Is playing for the San Diego Marlins something you have always dreamed of, or is there another team you may have your eyes on? 2) After playing your first few games, how are you feeling about the team chemistry? 3) We've watched a few videos of you on the ice, and things look solid. What would you say is your greatest strengths that you bring to the Marlins organization? 4) Where do you find yourself lacking? 5) Now that you are new to the San Diego area are you looking to do anything within the community to raise attention to yourself or the Marlins? 6) Our final question, what words of encouragement would you give to your fans who may be wishing to lace up the skates one day? Thank you!

Accept, yo.

Now, I know what you're thinking, "We have enough Goalies, why would I need to pick up this guy?" I'm going to let my highlight reel speak for itself... After some time in the clink I've decided to clean up my act, get on the straight and narrow, and lace up the skates again. Now you may be wondering what got me in prison. Well, here's my rap sheet. I stole. And I robbed. And I kidnapped the president’s son. And held him for ransom. And I nevah got caught, neither. I know some of you are curious about what the worst part of prison was, and you know what, the worst thing about prison was the was the Dementors. They were flying all over the place, and they were scary. And they’d come down, and they’d suck the soul out of your body, and it hurt! I now go by Thadius Sales Player Information Username: thadthrasher Player Name: Thadius Sales Recruited From: Member (Thrash94 Gaming) Age: 27 Position: G Height: 75 in. Weight: 170 lbs. Birthplace: United States of America Player Page @VHLM GM