Scurvy

In a recent interview with Warsaw Predator defenseman Brian Payne, he talked about his upcoming season as statistically the worst Dman on the Preds but also about his goals for the season. “What do you think about you lineup after the trades”? Payne: “Well I pretty much stink up the locker room around all these greats. I played in the M with DeGroot but never really chatted with the guy in the Marlin’s locker room, so I still feel like a noob wherever I go. But it’s exciting to be around some solid players who can help me up my game to the next level.” “Are you working on your build and what type of player will you be?” Payne: “Yeah. I fat fingered the save button early on so had to get some tech support and use my re-roll early. Not a smart start to the offseason for sure. I’d like my build to be a defense first, checking Dman. With the greats on the blue line for my team I think I can help more being a defensive minded hitter.” “Finally, you have had some good fights in the Pro-Am recently. Are you looking to drop the gloves with anyone in particular this season?” Payne- “Hmmm, probably Hulk Hogan and James Gloves Dropper. No real reason as I don’t know either of them but they have cool names that would look good on a box score with me the winner. Druss Deathwalker would be cool too, but I’ve read the books and he’d probably kill me.”

1. Dlamb nailed it! Made some outstanding moves to make Warsaw a competitive team immediately. 2. I like the locker room. I really don’t know anyone and it seems many members know each other well so locker room is lively. I’m still a noob but room is way more active. 3. Maybe some depth forwards come playoff time. 4. I feel so. Looking at the additions and returning players this team has some studs. 5. Jake Thunder. 6. No, I think Will acted stupid. He was laughing about the joke just prior so learn to take a damn joke.

Damn, looks great! I need to learn graphics.

Transaction ID: 87H7683886307363A Doubles Week $1 Million player cash 5 Uncapped TPE

Apparently neither is Payne. Lol

Well, as the offseason starts, I find I struggle to find subjects to chat about for my much needed six points of TPE. So, I decided to mash together a bunch of random thoughts and ideas as I eagerly await my first VHL season with the deadly Warsaw Predators. As I type this, I was notified of some recent trades that have brought the Preds closer to a championship banner. Dlamb @dlamb made some major moves and added defensive studs, Tui Sova @v.2, Hari Singh Nalwa @Dil, and former Marlin teammate of mine, Tavish DeGroot @rory . With the additions of these animals one thing is glaringly obvious. I am still the ABSOLUTE WORST player on the team! LOL. But what a remarkable day for the Preds to pick up such talent just a year after missing the playoffs by one point. Offensively the team is looking stacked and with the addition of Omi Aberg @osens and fellow Bratislava teammate of mine, Girts Galvins @Girts the Preds can run some potent offensive lines. Part of me is glad for the extra time during the off season so that I may max out my TPE earnings, so the Payne Train isn’t a total bum come the start of the new season. Even with some max gains I have resigned myself that I will be a depth Dman for the next season. Which is ok for me because wins and being a good teammate matter way more than individual stats. All in all, great job to our GM Dlamb for putting in the work and making the Warsaw Predators a team to be dealt with in the league. What to talk about next? How about the upcoming draft and my shameless plug for my friend (recruiting point collector) and fellow defenseman Jake Thunder @Thunder. He is projected to go in the top 20 in the draft and I hope that teams recognize what a talented TPE producing player he is. Not a stat producer but a solid DMan that any team will benefit from having. Please who ever drafts him, keep him motivated so that I continue to earn those valuable TPE points for recruitment. What are some other thoughts? (as I struggle for 500 words). This is my third season, first in the VHL and I am still very excited to be a part of such a fun league. I still feel a bit clueless at times but so far the people have been amazing and a special thanks goes out to the GMs, AGMs, teammates, and Admin for making this such a great experience. I can’t imagine the amount of work it takes to run this league for 83 seasons with the amount of people (and personalities). As I begin my career in the VHL I am hopeful to remain engaged in the league and meet some new people and just have some fun. Hopefully the Payne Train hurts some opposing players and for God’s sake I hope to get a fight someday. Preferably against Bo Johansson @Shindigs!!! That’s all for now!

The month of March brought some huge smiles to VHLE defenseman, Brian Payne. With a solid, but not outstanding run in the E, the bruising defensive d-man benefited from the Warsaw Predator’s lack of defenseman available and got the call up from GM, Dlamb @dlamb. We spoke with Payne today and beamed with excitement about going to the big leagues. “I am so excited, and a little nervous. I need to hit the gym (and keyboard) and get my TPE up asap because I will have one of the lower TPE levels in the pros. It is a little bittersweet that I won’t be playing with Bo @Shindigsanymore, but I look forward to smashing him into the boards at least once when we play Chicago.” Payne will be joined by former Watchman forward Girts Galvins @Girts. It will be exciting to see these two Bratislava regulars shine for Warsaw in the years to come and hopefully bring a championship trophy sooner than later.

Looks awesome!!!!!!

1. I was pretty disappointed in playoffs. I thought Bratislava had a good shot to challenge but fell short. 2. Gaining as much TPE as I can to make to the VHL. Trying to hit 400 but not sure its possible. 3. I am excited for the new attribute system. I am still so new that I am not married to the current way its being done. 4. Well, since I am on Warsaw I predict we will be champions. lol 5. Gonzaga---my hometown 6. Well Seattle is absolute trash so I am rooting for Edmonton. I'd like to see them get a good goalie to compete in playoffs. I thought the deal Tampa made for Hagel was interesting. He's good but I think Tampa gave up a bit too much for him.

Now that the Season 82 is officially over for my player, Brian Payne, I would like to reflect on the year as well as my hopes for my up-coming seasons in the VHL. First, I would like to give a huge “Thank you” for league admin, GMs, AGMs, and helpful players as I’ve fumbled my way through my second season. This league cannot be great without people giving up their free time to help make this league great. So, Thank you again!!! My first season I was on a stacked San Diego Marlin team held together by some mysterious Clue Glue I still don’t understand. We made it to semi-finals before getting smacked out of playoffs. This season with the Bratislava Watchman we got knocked in first round and my player (Payne) shit the proverbial bed stat wise. But oh well, I am still learning. It was nice to play with THE Bo Johansson and future Warsaw Teammate Girt Galvins @Girts. Bo @Shindigs taught me a lot and he is a student of the SIM for sure. Thanks to FrostBeard @FrostBeard too for being such a good dude. I am really not sure what to expect from the VHL (if I make it next season). There are some super great players, and I will once again be below average in comparison to the TPE of others, including my own draft class. I have a few hopes and aspirations for next year so thought I’d share (for 500 words anyway). Hopes and Dreams for new attributes I am still so new I didn’t know what a Meta build even was until the last few weeks. I am looking forward to the new attribute system and I understand that like everything new there will be some kinks to work out. My goal will be to make a solid defensive Dman to help Warsaw win the Cup!! Now for this week “hopes and dreams” I will discuss my hope for more fighting in S83. I have more hopes but will stop at 500 so I have something to chat about next week. Fighting: Some people don’t like fighting and want it out of the game of hockey. That’s fine and I understand your arguments. I don’t agree and thought the early 2000’s had some of the most entertaining hockey with just enough of the rough stuff but still a good game. Whether pro or con we can agree that fighting in a SIM is as safe as it can get. I would like to see a few more tilts as the league moves forward. I understand by adding points in fighting your odds go up but even the higher TPE fighters don’t get too many it seems. I am certainly not saying it should take over the SIM but some hate and discontent against division rivals or first round playoff message setting seems like it would add some fire to the box scores. Either way this league is awesome and there are some amazing people here I’ve met. Keep up the great work. Payne #9

Game Recap Philly vs Vegas Thunder leads team to victory of the powerhouse Reapers! In game 6, it was a must win for the 7th seeded Las Vegas Aces. And they came to play. Led by rookie defenseman the Aces were tied in the first period on goals by All Star- Pete Mitchell and Cobalt Burns. Both goals came off a major penalty and game misconduct from Reaper stud, Bobby Rockwell. This proved costly and certainly losing a gamer like Rockwell hurt the Reapers. The Aces carried their momentum into the second period scoring two goals, both assisted by Jake Thunder. The game was everything a fan could ask for. Chippy penalties and rough play shows these two teams do not like each other. Jake Thunder had three assists for the game's second star. If the Aces are going to carry this over to the final game they will need to capitalize on all penalties taken by the deadly Reapers. 2 for 11 today was not great but worked out. Looking forward to a great final. Go Aces

Tough losses mounted up and the Bratislava Watchman’s season ended pre-maturely. Watchman defenseman Brian Payne’s first season In the E ended with much regret that he didn’t perform to expectations come playoff time. Coming into the playoff’s Payne worked extra hard to add TPE to some much-needed attributes and the gains had no effect on his play. Actually, he seemed to play worse, if that’s possible. The bruising defenseman ended the playoffs with 1 goal 1 assist for 2 points in 5 games. Much more was needed and expected from him especially in the physicality department. He only had 8 hits in the 5 games, less than two a game. With 71 TPE in checking and 76 in strength one would expect he would have better numbers in this department but Payne disappointed as Rome ran over the underrated Watchman. Payne told reporters that he was going to work hard this off-season to get TPE and re-brand his game once the reset happens. Payne had a great time in the E and wanted to say thank you to his GM and AGM for all the help.

1. I am personally rooting for you Aces to win it all. Last year the Aces were formidable and I think you are the sleeper in the conference to do great things. 2. Normally I'd pick a defenseman (I am biased) but Pete Mitchell has to be the guy. 3. Mubble @MubbleFubblesand Co have been very active and picked up a lot of talent. I think its smart going into the playoff to have a deep bench and to not lose sight on next year as well. 4. I like it. Brian Power has a ring. Not as good as Brian Payne but not bad. 5. That is crazy. I am on the same team as Shindig and I am claiming them. Craziest thing I have done would be to bungee jump off of Stratosphere hotel in Vegas. Bad idea 6. I am sad you're stepping down Mubble. I wish we could get the crew back together on the same team someday, you are super helpful to new players. The new changes in the player builds will be interesting and fun to try out. My dude seems to be a middle of the road player regardless of TPE so maybe it will work out for me.

Review of Las Vegas Aces vs Mississauga Hounds Game 355 LVA forward Pete Mitchell continued his minor league dominance scoring his 43rd goal of the season as the surging Aces defeated the Hounds 5 -1 in the second to last game of the season. cds Leb also chipped in as the first start with his 35th and 36th tally of the season. The Aces needed this win to gain some momentum in the coming playoffs. Many feel that the Aces are the hidden gem of the VHLM playoffs with a deep bench, solid defense, and the ability to throw four good lines at teams. Another note for game 355 is E Man's vicious spear in the second period. It was a retaliatory act I and sure the league will be looking at. Jake Thunder had an assist and some massive bone crushing hits and led the penalty kill which the Hounds went 0-5. Were excited to see where the Aces go from here come playoff time.

Who is Las Vegas Aces Defenseman Jake Thunder @Thunder? That is the question leading into the VHLM playoffs and eventual draft. One might think we’re talking about his defensive play or offensive abilities (or lack thereof), his massive TPE earnings. Nope, were talking about the selfless acts he does as a teammate. No one knows this more than fellow Ace, Hugh G Johnson. On most nights Las Vegas Aces players are eating correctly, stretching after workouts, or thinking about their game. Not Huge G. Johnson @EMoney002. The once sought after forward has a taste for the dark side of Vegas. Johnson has his own VIP section in the Palomino Gentlemen Club where it is said he has an affinity for red headed strippers. Fights, lack of TPE production, lazy practices define Hugh’s short career despite coming into the league hot and sought after by the San Diego Marlins. Now where does Thunder come into all of this? Well, despite moonlighting on off days for the Excalibur Hotel, Thunder from Down Under dance show Jake spends his time getting Johnson out of trouble. Thunder is selfless when it comes to the team and even thought Johnson has been in the league a year earlier, Jake feels that Johnson is still worth salvaging as a player and friend. And what is truly amazing is that even though Thunder loves Las Vegas and has some late nights he still has the time to earn massive amounts of TPE. Now, Thunder’s numbers this year aren’t going to give you a full picture on his complete play and why he should be drafted in the first round. With 4 G 19 A, 23 Pts aren’t hall of fame numbers, he is a hall of fame teammate for sure. Just ask Johnson, when he’s sober. Thunder brings hits, blocked shots, and has a defense first mindset which is a must have for all teams to be successful. Thunder plays a quiet game earning hard minutes and cares nothing of stats for himself but wins and losses. (And some weird fetishes but that’s for another time) As the Aces prepare for the playoffs in a stacked conference they will rely on his tough defensive play as they battle some stacked division teams like the Houston Bulls or Philly Reapers. With the coming end of the Meta build (*whatever that is) players like Thunder will be sought after talents. As the playoffs start and tournaments such as the Junior Showcase start, we will start to see Thunder’s production increase as well as his draft status. Mark my words now, teams that pass on Thunder will kick themselves as the season roll by and they must play this stout and incredibly ugly defenseman (honestly, he’s tough to look at). He’s already at 195 TPE before his first season I am excited to see him climb the draft rankings. If only he didn’t have to care for his slowly dwindling dim-witted teammate Johnson and his strange relationship with an elderly Zamboni driver who knows where he’d be in the rankings. Best of luck Aces in the playoffs. Payne

With a few days off in the VHLE schedule Bratislav defenseman Brian Payne traveled to San Diego to visit family and take his daughter to Lego Land. The former San Diego Marlin Alum visited the rink and spoke to several Marlin players and staff. He was bummed to see the Marlins are in a rebuild this year with only 19 wins. He noted the team was in good spirits. He hung around with Marlin’s defenseman Babushka who has had a great year with 20 goals and 57 assists on a struggling team. Payne wished the team his best and spoke highly of his time as a Marlin. Payne met with team management Frank and TheNeonShamen who welcomed him with open arms and allowed him use of the team gym and rink so that he could keep his workouts in before returning to Bratislava. Payne wished the team good luck next year and hopes that they can return to Marlin form and dominate the VHLM next year.

1. Looks to me like team chemistry and winning those close one goal games as of late. 2. Seems crazy that there was only one trade made to me. I am still so new but I would think of some way to incentivize teams for taking chances and going for it come playoff time. 3. Definitely up there with most offensive teams. I think it bodes well for the future on the club. I am hoping to make it next year and contribute anyway I can. 4. Not sure. Don't even know where to look! lol 5. I joined this year after seeing a YouTube clip. I was lucky to have a good GM and I fell in love with the league. 6. I have a 2 year old Doberman Pincer. Biggest lap dog in the world. I have always had dogs and this is my 4th Doby. So friendly and great family dog.

Congrats @JB123. You will do a great job. You helped me get into this league and I know you will do great! I am bummed you won't be in Warsaw when I finally get into the big leagues

At 56 games into the season and there is a lot to be proud about in Bratislava defenseman Brian Payne’s young career. He plays a good defensive game, hits, and works hard at earning TPE. However, despite all this he still can’t produce an even strength goal. Is it nerves? Stone hands? Poor offensive ability? It could be all the above, but it still makes him wonder into the wee hours of the morning about what he can do to cross that landmine and contribute even strength. In 56 games the youngster has 8 goals, all on the power play. Now playing on a team that has goal scorers like Girts Galvins and Bo Johansson it easy for Payne to take a back seat and just focus on playing defense but the curse of the even strength goal haunts him every time he logs in to check the box scores. Payne is dreaming and praying for one thing for games 57,58 tomorrow. No, not an even strength goal but a fight to take out his frustrations and break the curse!!!!

Well, what do I write today? Some days 500 words seem like a huge hill to climb for my much needed 6 TPE points. Well here goes. The VHLE season is over half over and there are 4 teams breaking from the pack. The first two, Cologne and Rome are dead even at 77 points followed by Stockholm and THE Bratislava Watchman neck and neck at 66 and 65 points. It seems the teams win and lose at the same rate and ground is never gained. Let’s start with Cologne. At 37 W and 14 L so far, they house a very very good team. Mats Zucarello is playing lights out this year with 36 G 35 A and 71 P. On defense Zeljko Ronagajec has already amassed 66 Assists, not to mention an amazing goalie tandem with Anime Protagonist and Dusty Wilson. Rome Gladiators field another championship caliber team led by forward Pekko Viitanen. With 30 G 47 A 77P he is a shooting machine. But don’t let the goals fool you he plays with grit too. In 54 games he already has 175 hits. On defense X man is lighting the lamp with 28 goals 31 Assists on a very good defensive team. In goal they are set with amazing goal stopper Boris Tsezar who boasts at .916 save percentage. Stockholm is stacked with talent, and I truly feel that this team is the most dangerous to face come playoff time. Their defense and goalie tandem are arguably the nastiest in the VHLE. Bob Beach, The Lock Ness Monster (Great name), Mr Duk, and Seymore Butts roam the blue line, hit bodies, and score points. In net Ben Dahl has been playing amazing as of late and with a .920 save percentage he is very difficult to score on. Now for the Bratislava Watchmen, another dangerous team come playoff time (I am biased). In goal they have a generational talent in Orion D H Chiester IX. With 2.73 goals against and a .926 Save % his record of 19W and 12L doesn’t show just how good he is. He could easily be 29W and 2L with the amount of 1 goal games he’s lost while keeping his team in competitive. It should be noted that in 54 games the Watchmen have only given up 161 goals, the least amount in the league to date. With offensive threats in Finn Davis, Bradley Buzzer, Girts Galvins, and William Groves they can punish teams on the power play and on all lines. Defensively they are led by offensive power play specialist Bo Johansson who punishes teams when they take penalties. Followed by always consistent and gritty player Harry Hagel. Hagel can fight, hit, and score and help his troubled teammates out of a jam in local bars. Second line defense has Sting Chameleon and Brian “phantom” Payne. They play a shutdown game and have been off and on with scoring. If this defensive duo works out their offensive game come playoff time, lookout! Bratislava struggles with consistency but I (truly biased) feel that this is the team to beat in the S82 playoffs.

Congratulations!!!!!

You'll get hot come playoffs!

1. He is going to be a great offensive pickup for sure. I think it will help propel the team into the ladder half of the season. 2. The Vikings and the Watchman keep winning (and losing) at the same rate keeping both teams equal in the standings. Both teams need Cologne or Rome to have some strung together losses to make up some ground. The only thing I think that can hinder the Vikings is Watchmen Defensemen Brian Payne. lol 3. I think your biggest strengths of the season has been your team defense. Lock Ness, Beach, Butts and Ben Dahl have been beasts for you and have remained consistent all year. 4. Biggest weakness is the same as we have in Bratislava. Being consistent and winning those close games. 5. Limit costly penalties and play a full 60 minutes. 6. Well since I am doing a Stockholm presser and not Bratislava I would say the most chemistry I have had on my club is Harry Bagel but were split now and I haven't had a point in 4 games. lol. I would say I would love to be on a defensive line with Loch Ness or Beach in Bratislava because they are studs. Best of luck Vikings!! Beat Rome and Cologne please but not us!

Review: Ok, I am no expert at graphics and this is way better than I can do on most days. First, your name is the best in all of the VHL. The Gemmell novels were amazing and bring back good memories. Since seeing your name It makes me want to re-read that whole series. I would only say that I would have liked to see the name in some type of color that allowed it to stand out more. The graphic itself is cool and unique. The green coverup maybe could use some touch up as it is a bit overpowering on the graphic. But overall I dug it. 7/10. Again, not sure when you have to retire Deathwalker but maybe you could keep the characters on your next build. Waylander could be good?? lol.

Watchman defenseman Brian Payne found himself in a little bit of trouble after his team’s loss to Istanbul. Upset at his lack of production he accompanied fellow teammates, Bo Johansson @Shindigs and Harry Hagel @jasplunds to the Bukowski Bar in Bratislava. His sullen mood must have been felt by the group of Istanbul fans huddled in the corner. A few choice words about his “stone hands” and poor play was all it took and bedlam ensued. Always the voice of reason teammate Bo Johansson could be told telling Payne, “Only hit them with your right hand.” Knowing the American was a lefty he later told the press he didn’t want Payne hurting anyone too bad with his massive left hand. Chaos reigned at the three Watchman made quick work of the six Istanbul fans. Hagel, Payne, and Johansson only suffered some minor injuries in the donnybrook. Team GM FrostBeard @FrostBeardsaid the issue would be handled internally with Payne most likely being bag skated until he puked. After that the issue would be resolved. He was quoted saying, “This team is a family and will stand with each other no matter the odds. While I am not proud of six VHLE fans being hospitalized by my players, I am proud of them standing with each other. That is what makes us a team.” Payne could not be reached for comment.