JardyB10

Also I'm a moron and realized that I meant to have gone fishing instead of to the Lake. All the water confused me

Damn, you right! I would not have thought so. For as much as literally no one wants a Cutiefly, they're incredibly annoying to fight at this stage in the game if you don't have a super effective move!

"STOP STARING AT ME YOU FREAK!" Jessie screams. Magnemite opens against Poliwag, taking it out with Spark. "GET YOUR TONGUE OFF ME, YOU ANIMAL!" Magnemite will then turn its attention to Wooloo, continuing to Spark. "AND FOR THE LOVE OF ARCEUS, GET THESE BUGS OFF OF ME!" Magnemite will TRY to Spark Grubbin, but Weavile will come in with Ice Beam if it needs to.

Bulbasaur likes to play hard-to-get! But not impossible, as you catch it on the 4th attempt. Bellsprout meanwhile is as easy as she looks and requires just a single ball. Then, the dating game breaks down into an episode of Jerry Springer, with Bulbasaur producing its WHIPS (what might those be used for hmmm?) to attack the bug. This is not the most effective strategy however, as Cutiefly, innocent as though she may look, seems to be accustomed to this. Bulbasaur eventually goes does down. Learning from its mistakes, Bellsprout comes out and uses NOT Vine Whip, and is able to deal with Cutiefly summarily. Bellsprout gains 2 levels, and steals $90 from the bug's purse! It also evolves into a Weepinbell!

Grubbin gets bug bitin' and turns Horsea into some grub! It moves on to the enemy Grubbin, and they have a Grub off! Unfortunately, your little bug was a BIT too weakened to get the job done, though it was a near thing. Axew picks up the slack and finishes it off. Next, you swap in Zorua to take on the Cutiefly. It's a tough matchup, as Cutiefly's moves are super effective against Zorua! Cutiefly opens with a Struggle Bug, which Zorua cops. Zorua hits back with a hard-hitting Slash, but it's not enough and Zorua goes down to another Struggle Bug. Axew once again enters and mops up with its own Slash. Grubbin gains two levels, and evolves! You now have a Level 20 Charjabug. Axew grew by two to level 24. You sell Grubbins leftover husk for $276.

Saku Kotkakoivu beats up Poopy Peepants at 3:41 of 1st period Poopy got throttled so badly he basically sat out the rest of the game.

OH YOU HAVE A MAX REPEL DO YOU? I'll totally remember that for all your future actions. James gives ALL his hard earned money to this very successful street pharmacist in exchange for the Max Repel, the balls, and a crisp $10 bill. Armed with confidence, swagger, and a poisonous balloon, he rides his sick wheels to the mean streets of Route 1, looking for some quality critters to add to his inventory. As he arrives, he scans the grass for his quarry, lining up the contestants like a dating gameshow from the '90s. Contestant #1 is Bellsprout! She has a slender figure and moves like the wind, and with a gaping mouth like that, you know she's always up for a good time. Contestant #2 is Cutiefly! Cutie is right in this thing's name! When this bug isn't struggling to get her college degree, she's giving potential suitor's her Draining Kiss, if you know what I mean . Finally, Contestant #3 is Bulbasaur! Bulbasaur is not only #1 in the Pokedex, but #1 in the hearts of many. She hopes to start a family one day, and could be Leeching Seed from you in the very near future. So James, who's it gonna be!? Bellsprout 20 Cutiefly 20 Bulbasaur 20

Beautiful! I'm glad Horsea cooperated there. I need just a little bit more good fortune here now! Jessie, being bothered by mosquitoes while she's trying to enjoy the Lake, decides to take out some regular old insect Repellent that she totally bought previously for $150 (Items like these really are expensive in Asia). She will then continue to explore the Lake of Rage. Action 2: Explore Lake of Rage

OKAY FIRST OF ALL, you technically should be shopping before seeing your encounter. But since you're a lame ass noob and are helpful and shit WE LET IT SLIDE FOR FIRST TIME OFFENDERS. There's fortunately a great ball vending machine nearby and there happens to be two left, lucky you! Your Pokeball fails, just like most of your relationships. You manage to capture the Eevee with your very first Great Ball, however. Your first order of business is showing the young Eevee how old Eevee do. Flareon picks a fight with Ekans, and incinerates it immediately. Hilariously, Koffing then Self-Destructs in retaliation! Flareon doesn't want anything to do with that, so it tags in Ralts. Koffing takes a crack at the newcomer... But it just uses Assurance! Ralts is then able to use a Confusion for the easy knockout. Flareon gains 1 level to reach Level 25.5, while Ralts gets 3 levels from the 'splodey Koffing and reaches Level 19. The Koffing actually contained cashes prizes on its insides and you pick up $248! --------- Proceeding onward to Mt. Moon, you can't help but feel a warmth as you enter the cave. In fact, it's a little bit TOO warm. You look over to see a Ponyta standing there, eating wild mushrooms. A warm creature indeed, but the heat doesn't seem to be emanating from that... Suddenly there's a rumbling! The ground beneath you is shaking, and it seems like the whole cave is in a panic. *CRASH!* An Onix appears before you! But it's not interested in you? It seems to be fleeing! But from what? That's when you finally look up and see it. The legendary bird, Moltres. Ponyta 19 Moltres 30 Onix 20

Everyone can learn everything

Nothing to see here, folks!

That little shit was trying to eat my bait. I'll start by leading Magnemite against Horsea. It will spam Spark until it dies. Next it will take on the Pidgey. If Magnemite falls, I will send out Weavile to Ice Beam it to oblivion. Against Cutiefly, I'll have Koffing spam Sludge against it. (Either Magnemite will make it this far and immediately die, or Weavile will make it here and swap to Koffing)

You use three Pokeballs, but the Ralts is yours! Flareon blasts Pichu with fire and instantly renders it unconscious. Pidgey and Poliwag then proceed to trade first form blows, but Poliwag comes out on top despite being a lower level! That extra bit of attack made the difference. Your Flareon grows the first half-level in the game that I've noticed, and Poliwag gains 3 to Level 18! You also gain $198 by selling a hippy "Pichu Dust." MEANWHILE IN SAFFRON CITY (Where you're from!) (Which I've noticed!) You see an Eevee playing with some poisonous bois Eevee 17 Koffing 15 Ekans 18

Who needs three great balls when you can use one? You catch Pumpkaboo on the first try! You send out Eevee to help tame the fire of the tiny candle. It takes a BITE out of the Litwick, which hurts it bad! Litwick trys to clap back with a Shadow Ball, but it passes right through Eevee with no effect! The unstable DNA squirrel takes another BITE out of Litwick and brings it to death's door. The candle retaliates with yet another useless Shadow Ball. You order Eevee to bring the candle EVEN LOWER with a Quick Attack... But it has no effect! You realize in horror that this is not Pokemon Go and immunities are truly a thing! Eevee eats a Dark Pulse before Abra comes out to try to finish the job... Unfortunately, Litwick welcomes Abra into the fray with a Shadow Ball, which knocks it out in one hit. Oops. Outraged that the candle put the sleepy Abra into a deeper sleep, your Charmeleon enters the battle and melts the Litwick with a Flamethrower (though it's not very effective). While Charmeleon was busy showboating about the victory, it's suddenly struck by Geodude's ROCK THROW. It's super effective, but Charmeleon is tough. It turns around and starts to (not very effectively) torch the rock with Flamethrower. Geodude tries to football tackle Charmeleon to escape the heat, but the heat keeps coming. Geodude tries one more last ditch Tackle before one last Flamethrower takes it down. Charmeleon gains 4 levels to reach Level 23, and I just realized there's a 100% chance that I forgot to give Doomsday money! Not you though, you get $220 from the beautiful mineral that was left behind from the melted down Geodude. EDIT: I just saw your edit from earlier. You buy your Charmeleon a dope surfboard for a cool $750. ------------ As someone else mentioned, if you wish to challenge Brock, you'll want to submit which three Pokemon you're bringing, who leads, and which moves to use. Etc.

As a young child, there's not a lot Ash can do for a respectable income... or so you thought! Turns out, if you take a paper route that covers ALL of Kanto Johto, you can really rake in the big bucks. You make $612. Your paper duties bring you all the way to Lake of Rage, where you see families enjoying the water, as well as a Nurse seemingly rolling on E and doing Poi with the local fauna. Speaking of the local fauna, you spot a pretty hale looking Horsea swimming close enough to shore for you to reach, even with your tiny little child arms! As you rush to get a closer look at it, you accidentally stumble into a pumpkin patch...but this is no ordinary pumpkin patch. These pumpkins contain the spirits of the dead within them, and they're NONE TOO FUCKING PLEASED that you have disturbed their place of rest. What do you do? Horsea 18 Pumpkaboo 20 Pumpkaboo 19 UM ACTUALLY THIS ACTION WAS ILLEGAL AND I'M ILLITERATE AND SOMEWHAT OF A LIABILITY TO MODS EVERYWHERE

You send out your adorable little dragon dino, and using the only move that can make contact with Mimikyu, it takes a mighty CRUNCH out of the wannabe Pikachu...but it survives! Realizing how cool your Axew is, the Mimikyu then decides to...well, Mimic you. And it ends up mimicking Dragon Claw! It slashes HARD into your Axew...

"He's so terribly inappropriate and problematic toward me," you think to yourself as you find your feet bringing you toward Brock in Pewter City, "but I do like a man who's tall, dark, and handsome." Walking through the cave, you watch as a Ponyta sprints by. "Sure would be faster if I could ride one of those," you consider. Looking over, you see a spooky floating gourd or some shit. "What the hell is even that. I wonder if I can actually plant it?" Just before moving up a floor, you also a clock a Larvitar. "Ah yes, it reminds me of my own trusty companion. Mine looks way tougher though!" What do you do? Ponyta 15 Pumpkaboo 17 Larvitar 16

Hyper Crush begins to play on your new Radio Card, and you feel inspired to FUCKING RAGE. Equipped with glow sticks and molly you park your bicycle down by the lake. In the lake there's a Horsea wearing Kanye West-style glasses and using a pacifier. Above it is a Cutiefly bobbing uncontrollably, its body strobing to the beat of your Radio Card. You step toward the party and nearly crush a Grubbin, who's simply gently pincing its little mandibles or whatever. Much less cool looking, to say the least. Horsea 16 Cutiefly 19 Grubbin 16

Desiring to go to Mt. Silver, but lacking the strength to get there, you remember hearing about one of the gym leaders, Chuck, being able to pick up and destroy large boulders. Needing this skill, though still lacking any birds, you're forced to swim to Cianwood City to appeal to him for the training. He tells you that you're too scrawny to ever pull off such a feat, but that he could get by with training your Jolteon, who has no opposable digits. One little training montage and $750 later, your Jolteon knows Strength. Still without birds, you swim all the way back to the mainland, and make the most treacherous hike imaginable before finally arriving at Mt. Silver. You may not have a bird, but perhaps you can find the greatest bird of them all! You don't. What you do find is the following: Geodude 15 Swinub 15 Riolu 18

You spend the day at your house in the cape. You have a mysterious wealthy client enter, who heard that you once turned yourself into a Clefairy. With him is a beautiful woman and a Gardevoir. The man pays you $2011 to combine his two companions and never speak of it again. Upset by the day's work you just completed, you go shopping to pick up a Master Ball, 10 Great Balls, and the Surf HM for your trusty Wartortle. You head west to explore the big spooky cave not far from your now filthy-feeling home, in search of the legendary Mewtwo. Within, you find a much more wholesome sight. An adorable little Pichu rides atop a derpy Rhyhornoceros, while a jolly little seahorse splashes in the nearby waters! Horsea 19 Rhyhorn 18 Pichu 20

Cool win to Wii-U, but what the hell happened vs MERICA??

Proud of the level of effort she went through plucking a free Magnemite, Jessie decides it’s time for another cool training montage. Returning to her shady shopkeeper, she’ll purchase just a fishing rod, then proceed to Action 1: Explore Fishing

Yes I prefer this roll, thank you. For the everyth time, I will once again post-remind us of the Max Repel Honedge will start spamming Fury Cutter on the two defenceless sleeping yellow children. Then it'll spam Fury Cutter on the Sneasel after. If it dies, big Sneasel can sweep up with whatever.

Jessie’s assault on the Tower continues! Action 4: Explore Bellbo Baggins Two Towers

I will never for the life of me remember to mention the Max Repel beforehand. (Level 18 'round the board) Koffing will spam Sludge against Charmander Then spam Assurance on Gastly When it goes down, Honedge can come in to spam Gastly and/or Mimikyu with Shadow Sneak. If Weavile has to come in it will use Ice Beam