Aimee

And we’re back! Hope everyone enjoyed the first week of sims, hope everyone is off to a decent start, and it’s great to be back in the VHL again! Jillian Woods had a pretty on and off start, but by the end of it, I’m feeling pretty good!
 
Enough about me, lets get to the meat of the past week!
 
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As I’m writing this on Monday, we’ve gotten a couple more updates in than I had the last time around, but that makes our achievements no less incredible!
 
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100 TPE (First Gens, don’t forget to claim the First Gen Bonus!)
 
We start off with Feka Ohi Kau, from the first generation @Hacob agency! I had the pleasure of AGMing for this player in the JST, and they always brought the energy after the sims, and I’m thrilled to see them making a return to Houston, and Feka really showcases exactly the kind of players that Houston has been putting out for a long time now. Off to a good start, and the TPE certainly helps!
 
Our second player this week to cross the 100 TPE threshold is the Latvian legend Laimdots Sarkanis @Anomalijs! Back after a lengthy departure, we’re thrilled to see Laimdots up and earning again, and has brought their scoring touch back to Mississauga. They’re picking up a very respectable amount of TPE a week and should be a great player in Mississauga and beyond for quite some time. Congratulations!
 
Another representative from Mississauga, and a First Generation player as well, we’ve got the big defender Kurt Bachmann @Blutch . They’ve been doing great with Trivia every week, getting to know our long history, and bringing the consistency we’re always looking for here in the VHL!
 
(Also shoutout to @mmrs617 for the incredible Press Conference GIFS, check it out in the Mississauga Press Conference thread!)
 
Finally we’ve got Dog Jagr @koty_k , a player I know @Ricer13 was very high on in the VHLM draft, and the bet seems to be paying out, with Jagr crossing the 100 TPE mark over the last week! Another huge defender, and having a great performance so far this season! Excited to see what comes next for the Dog!
 
200 TPE
 
Our first player to reach the graduation mark for the VHLM is none other than Captain Nugget Jr! As they quickly approach the threshold they set on their first player all those seasons ago, one must appreciate the consistency and the player performance Nugget jr has had so far! Keep it up @Captain nugget!
 
Next up is Bartholomew Lorequavius from @jaypc8237! After flying past their last player’s total, this goaltending prodigy has been facing shot after shot in San Diego, really getting those reps in. They’re making great work in the ISFL, and doing a bunch of Trivia, finding out how much the little things can put you ahead! Great energy, and a great career ahead of them!
 
Inker Belle, also currently in San Diego and is off to an incredible start in the VHLM! We’ve come to expect nothing less from @WildfireMicro, and I’m sure Stockholm and Toronto are excited to get their hands on this dynamic forward. We’ll be rooting for consistency and moderation here, and making sure to enjoy the process along the way! Careers and long, and Inker Belle has what it takes for the long haul!
 
400 TPE
 
The first of our VHLE Graduates is none other than the legendary @Phil, back this time in Sakic form! There are always Hall of Fame expectation when Phil comes through the ranks, and I’m not sure many have had the longstanding consistency that Phil has had throughout the years, and I’m sure we could all stand to learn a little something about avoiding burnout from him. A stand-up user and a stand-up player, coming back to Calgary soon, and I’m excited to see him there soon!
 
Immediately following is none other than Calgary’s own @Ricer13, and the second in the Panda line of goaltenders from @Lemorse7's agency. Another member with HOF pedigree, and someone I’m sure everyone is sick of hearing me praise at this point, so I’ll leave you off with one final congratulations, and move on to our next player!
 
Another member I have nothing but wonderful things to say about, is @Aimee 's sophomore player Ahsoka Tano, who has been dominating thus far, and is certainly used to dominating after a HOF first-gen career! You’ll hear lots more from me about that career soon, but for now, we should celebrate the achievements on this player, and enjoy what I’m sure will be a great VHL career starting next season!
 
Our final recreate in this bunch is a player that I always looked up to when I was first starting, as a dominant long-term forward for the then-dynastic Moscow Menace. I was super excited to see them back, and seems to have had no problem picking right back up where they left off! Another great career is surely in store, but for now, congratulations @Seabass!
 
For our first generation VHLE graduates, I can’t help but start with Samsayz I-Smell, truly the worst player to ever graduate to the VHL. A complete waste of 3+ draft picks, and surely has nothing to offer at any level. Sure, they may be a TPE machine, a locker room delight, and a great 2-way player, but have you smelled the stench on this one? I suppose I should be happy for @CaptainSB to have hit 400TPE, but I just can’t take the smell anymore!
 
Dorji Khan is back folks, tell a friend. They never actually went anywhere, but they are here to mess teams up in the VHLE, and earn a ton of TPE in the process. They have mastered the art of Supplemental TPE earning, and are truly a role model player for those who want to have a great player and rarely do PTs. @Oddpurplefly picks the perfect time to do them, usually Theme Week, and gets as many TPE from it as possible, before returning to old reliable, Trivia and Press Conferences! They’ve been getting Fantasy Zone TPE as well, which more than makes up any difference between a PT and Welfare. Smarter not Harder folks! And Khan will have a great career because of it. Congratulations!
 
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I believe that’s all for this week on the milestones front, and a great haul here, so lets celebrate the VHLM and VHLE GMs who are giving their players the tools to make it happen!
 
Our Media Prompt for this week, which once again can absolutely be written, graphical, or in Podcast form is as such:
 
You’ve just been traded. Management gives you a call, and you’re off to a new team. What thoughts are running through your head, and how do you process the sudden and major change?
 
@Spartan has been known to thrive in the big moments, including trades involving future or current superstars. I don’t know if there’s anyone better at it. So when I got traded, and heard I was off to a new team, I knew that I was somehow on the worse end of the deal. You always know that being traded away from Moscow means the team you’re going to just got worse. Even if I know I’ll be great! But I know myself, I know my game, and I know that whatever value was placed on my services, I know I can outdo them. So bring it on Moscow, let me show you how much better I can be! And of course I’ll be joining @Garsh in their daily “Spartan Sucks” emojis.
 See you soon everyone!
 
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Past Weeks
Week 1
 

@OblivionWalker congrats on the captaincy, my friend! 😉

Fantastic reference.

Ahsoka Tano is once again proving that her 1st overall pick in a draft was worth it. After being selected 1OA by Oslo for the VHLE, Tano quickly became eligible to move up to the VHL before the first game even started. Which means she will be banking all of her skills for the season and just waiting for her time to move up.
 
In only 8 games, Tano has managed 13 points (6 goals and 7 assists). She has also matured as she has only had 2 penalty minutes, going until that 8th game without a single penalty. What is most impressive is that 5 of her 6 goals have been Power Play Goals and her 6th was a Game Winner.
 
Among all players, Tano is 6th in Points, 4th in Goals, is in a 10+ way tie for 1st overall Defensemen, and if 1st in Power Play Goals. According to the Index, she is the 5th overall player in the VHLE.
 
There is no denying that Tano has made the hype around her worth it to this point. We only hope that she can keep it up through the rest of the season.
 
195 words for week ending 8/18/2024

 

Review

So I actually think there's a lot of good here but also a lot to improve on. First of all, the reference choice is great with the team the player is on. An opportunity might be that red block on the right, if the red was cut clean from the black and white via the stick, and you stuck the players name in front of the black and white where it would be more prominent. Good catch on reposting because the gold didn't follow the entire border of the graphic. The only other suggestion I have is the filter used to make the player be focused could be substituted for something a little easier on the eyes. In my mind, the point of the filter would be to shift attention towards the player. Overall I think it's pretty decent and you should be proud of it.

I give this a constructive yet warm 6/10.

Review

What the fuck man. This is an online fantasy league we don't need professionals to come out here and make graphics people would pay for. The only thing you could ask for in this is maybe a jersey swap on the player, but since the colours are the same it doesn't matter too much. It has a very modern sports feel with the logo peering in the background and overall because the face is the lightest thing in the space you get to look dead center at the word and have it embedded into your mind. 

9/10, jersey swap would have made it a 10 easy. Well done.

Joel Jakobs is currently eligible for the S96 draft. And where he will go is up in the air for a lot of GMs. Veteran GMs will likely shy away from this player as his agent, Plate, is the most inconsistent person in the world. Plate has been the agent of a few high profile players, such as 22nd overall, VHLE best defenseman of all time (Don't even try to deny it), FOUR time renaissance cup winner, Jordan Bennett who saw one season in the VHL (S86) before being sent back down to the VHLE where he could become a career player.

In addition, Plate has also been the agent of 7th overall pick Markus Schauer, who actually had a VHL career and ended it shortly after finishing his one season in London. Schauer didn't really do anything besides not score a lot of goals and be terrible defensively but at least he blocked shots. 

Finally, the oldest and inaugural player Plate released into the VHL stratosphere, was Rhye Tyr. He was a VHLM player who played in two seasons and was drafted 32nd overall in season 66. However, that was also one of Plates fondest players.

We'll see who in their right mind would take a player from Plate considering 450 TPE seems to be the ceiling for most of his players.

Houston Bulls
Roster Rundown, Plate
 
Report Card
Forwards - A+ Defense - B+ Goaltending - B+  
Forwards
The Houston Bulls have deep pockets on the forward position. Their two star forwards, Lightning Mcsnipe and Alex Ovechkin III are both former San Diego Marlins (S93), linemates for their entire VHLM career. With the wealth of experience between the two Ovechkins passing offence matches nicely with the scoring focused Mcsnipe, creating a dominant 1-2 punch for both the powerplay and first lines. This high powered offense with very concise skill sets up front but going down the list with VanHousen, Smash and Longpre you find some more spread out builds. 

The two way winger VanHousen does have some use though. Being an anchor on the wing can make players like Ovechkin and Mcsnipe really stand out. You also do need some more defensive coverage on forward for 5 on 5 play. He's also likely playing center instead of the wing because he has an average skill set in quite literally every category, including face offs. On the second line you have the pairing of Smash and Longpre. Smash is pretty straight forward. He sees something, he hits it. He's got decent stickhandling so getting the puck off that guy is very difficult.

Important to note that three of these five players are 1st generational. Houston gets extra points for fulfilling the role of the VHLM and introducing new players into the league. Hence why they get an A+ for their forwards report card.

Defense
LaClapbomb Hitstick IV leads the charge on defense. Not much else to say besides this is a guy you want on defense. He does almost everything right and nothing wrong. He plays solid defense. He can pass, he can shoot for rebounds, he can hit and he can evade attackers with solid puck skills. The only real downside is the lack of discipline. When a player is getting that much ice time and is integral to your defensive strategies, he's someone you want killing penalties and not taking them.

His partner in crime and depth are LeBlanc, Kau and Smungus. The latter two players are both incredibly new to the league and have a decent amount of upside if the coaching staff in Houston can continue their development. Smungus is looking to be a bit of an enforcer, protecting players and punishing those who attempt to target younger players. The league has transitioned away from a physical game and into more of a skills one, so we'll see how the Bulls emphasize the utility of this player. Their linemate Kau is also a relatively new member to the VHLM. They too have a more physical build, caring more for player pressure than puck pressure. We'll see if the combination can work on securing 5v5 and penalty killing time. LeBlanc, who I saved for last, I think has the potential to develop into a top 5 defenseman in the league, maybe even by the end of the season and beginning of playoffs. This is a player that will strip the puck off of you and pass it away before you realize you lost it in the first place. Very interested to see how his development goes, in particular. 

Overall, because Houston has again selected many 1st gen players, they get a B+ on their defensive report card, with the defensive depth being a wild card.

Goaltending
Zaps Cat is looking to recreate a tremendous record from last season posting a very solid 46 win, 26 loss campaign (1 OTL). Very likely Cat will have to produce a lot more saves than what they are used to last season, as the defensive depth is looking to let certain scoring opportunities go in favor of roughing up opposing players. This transition from a very shut down defense might pose a bit of a leap for the netminder. However, I'm confident that with a few reps and early jitters out of the way that Cat can create a similar, but not better, record as last season. 

For that reason, and the fact that Houston has yet again another 1st-gen player on their roster, I am giving them a B+ on their goalie report card.

Editors Notes
Houston should prioritize sniping a 2nd line C from a fringe contender or rebuilder to bolster their already in depth offensive lines. And if they can reinforce some basic defensive principles to their depth defensemen I can see Houston being a force to be reckoned with. Their overall team grade is an A, and a nod to the general manager for selecting so many 1st gen players.

As always, I've been Plate.

@animal74
 
Opening night for S95 is here, and there is no better time to announce the retirement of the #74 to honour the career of long time Toronto Legion goaltender and franchise icon Joel Castle. This pre-game ceremony is one that was much anticipated by fans, teammates, and friends of Mr. Castle. Before we get to the folks who have come to speak about Joel Castle's career in the VHL, it's time to take a look back at the statistical accomplishments that accumulated over his time in Toronto.
 
Joel Castle spent eight full seasons in Toronto from S87 to S94, and over that time he started in goal for more than 500 regular season games and more than 60 playoff games for the Legion. Castle finished his career ranked second in team history in regular season starts, and first in playoff starts. It's one thing to be a fixture in net for a team, but it's quite another to take advantage of those starts and carry the team to success. That longevity in net left Castle ranked second in Legion regular season wins and first in playoff wins. He also topped the Legion career charts in saves, save percentage (more than 300 starts), playoff shutouts, and playoff saves. That placement on Legion career stats lists is a large part of the reason that we're here tonight to celebrate this future hall of famer.
 
While Castle's career had several shining moments, there is no doubt that his crowning achievement came in S91. The fifth season of his career, S91, saw Castle carry the Legion on his back to win the first Continental Cup in more than thirty seasons for the franchise. Posting a 12-3-0 record in the playoffs with a .939 save percentage and a 2.02 goals against average, it was obvious to everyone in the league who the worthy winner of the Daisuke Kanou Trophy as playoff MVP was. Castle would almost pull the feat off again in his swan song season in S94, taking the Legion all the way to the Continental Cup Final before losing to Moscow in Game 6.
 
On-ice success has been obvious for a long time for the Legion tender, but his off-ice work has flown largely under the radar for too long. Castle's time spent as a Legion Assistant General Manager has been exceptional, and his work in the locker room with the team and the offices with the staff has been top notch. As we'll hear from those who have played with, played against, and worked with Joel Castle, his work has definitely not gone unnoticed by those who have been fortunate enough to interact with him.
 
We'll start the proceedings tonight with some folks who had the pleasure of being draft rivals in net with Joel Castle. Our first speaker of the night is Ash Sparks, who was drafted 6th overall in the S86 draft with Castle.
 
Sparks: "Castle and Sparks entered the league at the same time and were a part of a group that would be known as the “Heavenly 7”. There were 7 maxed out goalies for the VHLM draft including Castle and myself, but only 4 of us played out our full careers and made it to their final season in the VHL. We all retired roughly around the same time last season, but I personally never got to spend much time with any of them except for Joel Castle. Ash and Joel were drafted to the Geneva Rush together as a 1-a / 1-b goalie tandem, so we spent the season together as teammates. We became good friends and rivals! Both Joel and myself have always cheered for the other’s VHL success, and we both managed to become some of the best goalies our franchises have ever seen. Joel Castle and myself were blessed with the chance to retire together. It’s really nice to know that our friendship will continue even into our retirement."
 
We now turn to another goalie from the S86 draft, Lachlan Summers, who was drafted 12th overall in that draft.
 
Summers: "It’s been a pleasure to compete against Joel and the rest of the goalies that came out of our draft class, especially with how tight the battles were. He’s always been a fierce competitor and for him to become one of the most successful goaltenders in Toronto’s history is an impressive feat! Plus a Cup and a Playoff MVP is nothing to brush off. He’s always been consistent and that’s something I’ve admired about his game, as well as being one of the most level-headed and humble people out there."
 
Lastly, we'll hear from Fuukka Rask, who was taken 14th overall in the S86 draft.
 
Rask: "In the S86 draft, Castle was drafted 13th, and I was drafted 14th. The competition amongst the goalies in this draft class was very strong.  Castle has had a phenomenal career and I respect him a ton.  Now that we are both retired, I think I will invite him for a beer and we can catch up."
 
Thank you to the goalies from the S86 draft for their kind words tonight, it was awesome to hear from the folks who have all had similar career trajectories with each other. Next up, we'll hear from some former teammates of Castle from his time in Toronto. First up to speak from this group will be Siyan Yasilievich, who played on the Legion blueline in front of Castle during S90.
 
Yasilievich: "Joel Castle was one of the best goalies I had ever played with. When you needed that extra save, that extra boost to swing the momentum, he was always able to deliver. An extremely good goalie on the ice and a great person off the ice. Congratulations on a fantastic career and I wish him the best moving forward!"
 
Next in our group of former teammates is Tomas Sogaard, who played with Castle for two seasons in S90 and S91, which included the Continental Cup winning season.
 
Sogaard: "Joel was a pillar of the Legion, one who set the standard of what hard work and dedication looked like. The S91 playoff run was a testament to his relentless spirit. He was always the first one to the ice in the morning and the last one to leave. As a goalie, he set the bar high, and as a person, he was admired by all. His leadership, both on and off the ice, inspired everyone around him. Joel's legacy in Toronto will be remembered not just for his incredible saves, but for the heart and soul he brought to the team every single day."
 
The last of the former teammates that we'll hear from is a fellow Legion goaltender, one who shared the crease with Castle in Toronto for three seasons from S90 to S92. That included backing up Castle for the S91 Cup win. Give it up for Evan Bihler!
 
Bihler: "Joel was a hell of a teammate. I chose to forego a guaranteed starting job my final season to back him up and push for another ring. He was a leader and he kept us in just about every game my 3 years in Toronto. Sad to see a legend go."
 
Thanks to all the former teammates who stepped forward with their lovely words for Joel Castle, it was great to hear from them. The next group are all members of the team from Joel Castle's final season in S94 that were last season for the Cup push that finished just shy of the ultimate goal. The first teammate to speak from last season will be James MacAvoy, who spent the one season in Toronto with Castle.
 
MacAvoy: "It’s been a pleasure to play alongside him for his final year here and I’m honoured I got to share that with him. He’s one of the greatest goalies Toronto has ever had so it’s unfortunate to see him leave. The team won’t be the same without him."
 
The next teammate to speak will be Nils Andersson, who also spent one season in Toronto with Castle in S94.
 
Andersson: "He was a very fun locker room guy and always there if you needed anything, and a monster in net. Great guy to have on your team."
 
Next up is another teammate from last season, Diego Machado. Castle and Machado played together for the last four seasons in Toronto, beginning with the Cup year in S91.
 
Machado: "Women love him and men want to be him."
 
Truer words were never spoken! The next player to speak is defender Bobby Bob, who has spent his entire six season career as a teammate of Joel Castle from S89 to S94.
 
Bob: "Joel was already a veteran in the league when I joined the team and I always looked at him like a real role model. Indeed, he is an awesome teammate and an incredible leader on and off the ice."
 
The final teammate from last season that we'll hear from is Jimi Jaks, who has spent all eight seasons in the VHL as a teammate with Joel Castle, beginning in S87.
 
Jaks: "We never would have won our championship without Joel, and there was a reason why he was MVP. He’s also been our MVP for the S94 playoff push. To me, he is the centrepiece of this Legion core. A future Hall of Famer, I wish him the best in his retirement."
 
Thank you to all the members of the team from Castle's last season who came forward with their thoughts and feelings on this Legion legend, it's been a pleasure hearing from all of you. The last group of folks to speak tonight have spent their time in the organization as both teammates and members of the front office. The first person to speak will be Harry Callahan, who joined the Legion as a player in S91 for the Cup run, and joined Castle in the Toronto front office prior to S93.
 
Callahan: "Joel Castle has been a great teammate for a long time, and an even better person. His career in Toronto leaves no doubt that he belongs in the Hall of Fame, and on the Mount Rushmore of Legion goaltenders in team history. We were fortunate to have his competitive spirit in net for as long as we did, and he helped lead us to the holy grail. I'm thankful to have his help off the ice to help learn the ropes of how to be an AGM, and I wish him all the happiness and success on and off the ice moving forward in his life."
 
Our next speaker has been a teammate of Castle's for his eight seasons in the VHL, and has been with Castle in the front office for almost that same length of time. Legion fans know that this player needs no introduction, it's Captain Mac Atlas!
 
Atlas: "Castle has been nothing short of spectacular for us during his time with the Legion. A lengthy and sound career filled with class, leadership and poise. It has been a pleasure to play in front of him my whole career!"
 
The final speaker of the night is reserved for the person who has worked closest with Joel Castle during his time in Toronto. The only person to be a member of the Legion organization for the entirety of Castle's tenure with the team, whether it was in the front office as GM from the start, or as a player joining the roster in the Cup winning year of S91. Here is the team's General Manager, Walter Fitzroy Jr.!
 
Fitzroy Jr.: "Where do I start...Joel Castle, arguably the greatest goaltender in Toronto Legion history (not biased at all). Joel was hands down the foundation of the Toronto Legion during his career alongside Jimi Jaks, Mac Atlas and many others. Joel Castle was one of the big reasons why the Toronto Legion was able to secure a Cup in S91. I want to wish Castle the best of luck with retirement and hope to see Joel Castle reincarnated soon!"
 
That will do it for our speakers here tonight. Thank you to everyone for coming out to speak on Joel Castle's behalf, and to the fans of the team for their support! I'm pleased to announce that the number of a franchise legend is now officially retired, and will hang from the rafters in its rightful place for a long time to come. Long live #74.
 
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Thank you to the contributions from @DarkSpyro @kirbithan @Jubis @badcolethetitan @Brandon @Eb14 @Enraged @Viper @Dadam30 @Baby Boomer @ke1vi @v.2  @Moon

Ahsoka Tano is once again proving that her 1st overall pick in a draft was worth it. After being selected 1OA by Oslo for the VHLE, Tano quickly became eligible to move up to the VHL before the first game even started. Which means she will be banking all of her skills for the season and just waiting for her time to move up.
 
In only 8 games, Tano has managed 13 points (6 goals and 7 assists). She has also matured as she has only had 2 penalty minutes, going until that 8th game without a single penalty. What is most impressive is that 5 of her 6 goals have been Power Play Goals and her 6th was a Game Winner.
 
Among all players, Tano is 6th in Points, 4th in Goals, is in a 10+ way tie for 1st overall Defensemen, and if 1st in Power Play Goals. According to the Index, she is the 5th overall player in the VHLE.
 
There is no denying that Tano has made the hype around her worth it to this point. We only hope that she can keep it up through the rest of the season.
 
195 words for week ending 8/18/2024

 

What's up with the VHLE? This is an early week 1 view from a noobie so please bear with me as it is with limited knowledge. First of all, the VHLE has a tier system for sure this season. You have the elite team in Bratislava Watchmen who are 7-1 losing only to Vasteras. Their goal differential is at an amazing +15. You can definitely see them to be the season favorites. Then you have the next tier of challengers in the Vasteras Iron Eagles and the Stockholm Vikings. But even within this tier Vasteras seem like the one team that can really challenge consistently for the title and give Bratislava a scare. Stockholm looks to be more of a solid good team as the goal differential differs with Vasteras playing really similarly to Bratislava. Then the bottom tier is the three teams that look like first round exits in Cologne, Oslo and Rome. Rome in particular could have its own tier with their crazy -25 goal differential, but at the moment the three are grouped together.
 
If you look at Bratislave, their roster is stacked. They have 8 wings, 3 defensemen and 1 goalie of which 6 players have reached over 300 tpe. Their defense is still developing but their wing play is second to none. Their whole team is balanced sharing the puck and they are the odds on favorite to win the VHLE this season.
 
Vasteras Iron Eagles has 7 wings, 4 defensemen and 2 goalies. They have 7 players at 300+ with both goalies reaching that mark. Their strength is really on their 3 man combo of Alphonse Desjardins, Chuck E Cheese and Einar Mathiesen along with their nasty two goalies. Desjardins, Yolishev and Swift have been the key point leaders on the team.
 
Stockholm Vikings consist of 6 wings, 4 defensemen and 1 goalie. Unfortunately only 4 are 300+ so they are a younger team with more development needed. They don't have the depth as the top two teams but they do have the elite playmakers in Phil Sakic, Quinndillus Whopper and I dare to say it Samsayz I-Smell.
 
Cologne has 7 wings, 5 defensemen and 1 goalie so the roster is packed. They have an incredible 8 players at 300+ but their only weakness is their goalie play who has only 199 tpe. They can score with the best of them but without better goalie play they will constantly struggle to keep up with the big boys.
 
Oslo has 8 wings, 4 defensemen and 2 goalies. They have an incredible 8 players over 300+ including their star wing David Pastanap, defensemen Ahsoka Tano and goalie Spider Panda. They just have been underperforming and should be in the mid tier but something just seems amiss as a team as they aren't playing as good as their individual parts. 
 
Rome looks hopeless unfortunately this season with only 3 wings, 2 defensemen and no goalie. They will be looking to retool for next season and hope this season ends soon. Their scouts will be busy looking at the next wave of prospects from the VHLM.

This could be a four week claim but I’ve got one in the works so its going to be a short one.  Are curses real in sports?  You better believe it.  Here are a few to get you thinking:  Everyone knows about the Curse of the Great Bambino and the Boston Red Sox.  It took years for that to be broken.  The Chicago Cubs can’t win it all because of the 1908 Curse of the Billy Goat.  There is the Curse of Paul Brown still in effect with the Cleveland Browns.  The Toronto Maple Leafs have suffered from the Curse of Dave Keon since 1967.  And let’s not forget the Curse of the Dollar Bill that was place on the Chicago Blackhawks in 1961.  How about the Curse of Jarry Park, when Montreal was robbed of their team.  And there is the Curse of Bobby Clark’s Dentist for the Philadelphia Flyers.  It took a long time for the St Louis Blues to rid themselves of the Curse of the No Name.  And the Curse of Nick Bakay has kept the Buffalo Sabres from winning a cup.  Some say the Boston Bruins are also a victim of The Bambino Curse because Babe played a couple games with Eddie Shore in the late 20’s, until he was told to stick to baseball.  The Vancouver Canucks fell victim to the Curse of the V Neck Sweater for a while.
 
None of these curses compare to the biggest and cruelest curse of all time.  The Curse of the Thunder Storm.  Earlier this week, Thunder thought he’d be funny predicting a couple of wins in the Vancouver locker room before Simon and clearly insulting STHS.  Oh… did the Vancouver Wolves pay.  After losing 5 straight games because of this curse, there’s a little hope that Thunder’s punishment of having to wash Guntis Gavilrovs underwear by hand the entire season will wipe out the curse and Simon will get back to giving the Wolves some wins.  Will it be enough?  Who knows.  In the meantime, @Girts will have clean drawers.
 
347 words

Inker Belle sighs as she looks in the mirror, a rather rough bruise on her cheek. She had taken a big cross check in her last game, and she honestly counts herself lucky that it was the only injury she got from it. After double checking that she has all her teeth and none was knocked loose, she puts some ointment on the bridge and walks away from her mirror, wondering what she should eat today. As she looked through her freezer however, a knock on her door almost makes her head hit the top of it and she grumbles to herself as she went to the door.
 
 "Hey what's up sis- are you ok?" At the door was Davy Joe, Inker Belle's blue haired brother. "No offense but you kinda look like you took a hit to the face"
 
 "It's...it's fine" Inker Belle sighs as she let's Davy in "in the last game my face got squished in the side of the glass. Anyways welcome to my humble home, hope it was what you thought it would be bro"
 
 "Well I was honestly expecting it to be a bit bigger" Davy shrugs.
 
 "I'm still in the VHLM, I don't exactly have the money for a house yet" Inker Belle says as she goes to look through her freezer again "now come on bro, stealing shrimp? You're so lucky your parole officer looked past it"
 
 "Hey I was hungry, and I thought my parole was over" Davy sighs as he looks around the condo "besides, if it was not for that one nosy girl who was wouldn't stop looking at me I probably would have gotten away with it"
 
 "Yeah and then Mom would have gotten on your ass regardless" Inker Belle sighs as she closes her freezer "screw it, you want to go around town go look for something to eat? Nothing in my freezer sounds good right now"
 
 "Yeah, that sounds good" Davy shrugs as they both left the condo and got in Inker's small car "couldn't afford anything bigger?"
 
 "I really didn't want anything bigger Davy, this car is fine and the fuel costs are not too bad" they drove around San Diego until Davy notices a seafood restaurant "oh you're feeling hungry for shrimp? I wonder why"
 
 "Oh shut up Inker" Davy grumbles as they park and get out of the car "I'm just hungry in general and honestly seafood sounds great right now"
 
 "Hmm I see" Inker says as they walk into the restaurant. As they were eating some fried shrimp and clams, Inker looks directly at Davy "ok I got to let you know something: try your absolute best to not get in trouble here please. I don't want to be in a situation where I have to kick you out or something like that"
 
 "Would you really do that to your own brother?" Davy said in disbelief.
 
 'If I have to Davy!" Inker sighs in frustration "look, this might be your last chance, so just try to stay close to me and just try not to start any trouble and we'll be fine and your parole will end"
 
 "Oh yeah I think my parole ends in like 2 years" Davy says as Inker sighs deeply and facepalms.

The Stockholm Vikings are having a very solid number 2 like season with a strong emphasis on offense and a solid defense. The team is tied with the Vasteras Iron Eagles. The three man attack group of Artav, Sakic and Whopper along with the presence of the defensemen I-Smell have been the engine of the scoring as the team has had really good scoring production from the team. I-Smell and WWumbo have been doing their best on defense deflecting shots but the defensemen need a little more work to compete with the elites. Austin Goulet lll has been solid and will look to keep improving.
 
The team has had its ups and downs. It either scores in bunches or just outright struggle to score so as a young team the coaches will look to make sure the team plays at a more consistent level and that they are stronger in the face of adversity. The team looks to have the potential to make a deep run but if they keep having their ups and downs they could also be easily eliminated early.

Sharky takes aim: The roast of Rip and Scotty!
 
This is my interpretation of Sharky aka Thunder roasting me (Rip Wheeler/Scotty P)…that is if he was actually funny! He’s not, but I enjoyed this attempt at some self deprecating humor!
 
"Alright, let's give it up for the T-Triple G, Rip Wheeler! The self proclaimed Team Guy, Glue Guy….Rip says he’s the glue that holds this team together. More like Elmer's, not epoxy. He's the definition of a 'team player', which is code for 'doesn't score enough goals'.
 
You’re the Jimmy Hurdstram of hockey, Rip. Always there to deliver a tough, inspiring speech, but when it comes to actually scoring goals, you're about as effective as a one legged guy in an ass kicking contest!
 
Hey Rip, remember that scene in Yellowstone where Jimmy couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn? Yeah, same energy when you’re shooting the puck!
 
And let's talk about your fashion sense, Rip. You look like you raided a cos-play cowboy convention. I mean, cowboy boots and jeans since when? You ain’t a cowboy son, you’re too old to play dress up! 
 
You know, I was thinking about your adopted life philosophy of Scotty P. from 'Meet the Millers,' 'No ragrets.'…Well, Rip, I've got some “ragrets” for you. I regret watching you play hockey. I regret not betting against you. And I really regret that you're on my team. So, let's hear it for Rip Wheeler, the king of missed opportunities…thanks for reminding us that every game is a new opportunity to disappoint us all over again."

With the first week of hockey played in Season 95, we found time to speak with VHL Calgary Wranglers player Miner vHLer @Rhynex Entertainmentwho is in his sophomore season in the VHL.
 
Reporter: Hello Miner! Nice to see you again! How was your first week of hockey in Season 95?
 
Mv: Hello. Honestly, it has been a rough start to the season. Not exactly the start I had imagined myself having. I've picked up my game a little bit towards the end of the week, but not a good enough effort.
 
Reporter: What are your plans to quickly turn around your game and not wander deeper into a sophomore slump?
 
Mv: I've got to work hard every shift, every game. And also extra hard during practice. There's a lot of hockey left, and a much larger amount of improving to do, but I need to get straight to it, and take it easy with my game. Keep it simple stupid and back to the basics.
 
Reporter: What are you planning to work on first?
 
Mv: I have a lot of areas for improvement. I need to complement my teammates better offensively and defensively. I have been a small liability this past week.
 
Reporter: Thank you! Best of luck in the season!
 
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The season has finally started the Vancouver Wolves have had the roughest start imaginable.  Currently last place in the NA, they have one win…..yes, ONE!  A team packed with talent and young hungry prospects. What’s to blame?  Is it lack of offense?  For sure that is part of it.  Newly appointed Captain Logan Ninefingers has been absent with only 2 goals. 
 
  But what else? Physicality?  Nope, they have been hitting well and Guntis has notched his first two fights. 
 
How bout curses?  Who believes in those anymore?  The Chicago Cubs certainly don’t after finally winning albeit it took a long time.  Why, you might ask.  
 
Well, it was the first day of the season and the Wolves were happily going about their day waiting for that tell-tale discord alert that VHL Simulations Games 1-15 had begun so we could anxiously slam the buttons of our phones to see how we did.  But that didn’t happen….  
 
What did happen was as horrific as the Titanic sinking when Wolves’ rookie Defenseman Bollos De Treuno @Thunderposted in the locker room, “Excellent wins for today. What a great way to start the season. 2-0. Let’s keep it going.”
 
Now a pretty normal post as far as locker room jargon goes so there was no alarm or suspicion from the first two teammates who posted, myself and @Smarch. BUT, both of us became confused when we could find no evidence that games have been simmed. 
 
So when asked, Bollos stated , “ Ha Ha. I coulnte take it any longer. I had to make a good prediction and get the dialogue started. Good fight Riley, And Rip, too bad he got his ass kicked!!  Dalkr’s shutout was impressive.”
 
Now anyone who has ever played a competitive sport knows that there is a risk when speaking to a hot goalie in the 2nd period intermission about his chance at a shutout or that MLB pitcher going for that elusive no hitter only to have a reliever say something stupid like, “Only one more inning and you got the shutout buddy.”  The Karmic Gods do much to punish such foolery. 
 
AND PUNISH THEY DID!   Trueno’s prank was met with a mix of light hostility as he was told of the consequences of upsetting the Cosmic STHS.  So as a team we awaited the results of such a “prank.”  And like Poseidon, Simon crushed his Trident into the Wolves proverbial 5 hole. 

The first day SIM saw us 0-2 with a big loss to NA leading Chicago but then losing to LA in a low scoring affair where rookie Roger Eagles dominated the Wolves. 
 
But it didn’t end there.  Day 2 came seeing the Wolves lose to division foes DC and Toronto in some close games to go 0-4. 
 
Day 3 came and again the Wolves lost to New York showing that Simon wasn’t done with our furry friends.  0-5 before lightning struck and the Wolves got their first win against long time hated rival, the Seattle Bears by the score of 6-2.  
 
So, for those who don’t believe in Karma you only need to read this post!  It's real and it's with our sincerest hope that Simon is appeased, and the punishment is over!   I think I can speak for all of the Wolves that Trueno will be punished accordingly for his grave error and he is currently responsible for cleaning Guntis’s @Girtsunderwear by hand for the rest of the season.  
 
@Frank @Gaikoku-hito@Beketov

So the S94 world juniors was essentially my first time really attempting to GM- I won the JST with the Royals back in S86 but I had a great AGM in @jacobcarson877 actually submitting lines for me because I didn’t have a PC, and just generally giving great advice ad always (thank you Jacob!). WJC was very different for me because I didn’t get any help from anyone for drafting or lines but thankfully I submitted them correctly and even remembered to play both goalies! The tournament was quite rushed as GM announcements weren’t made until late and we ended up only having a 2 day round robin but I had a lot of fun- especially being able to get gold. I definitely want to get into a VHL/E/M GM position ASAP because I think I would both have a lot of fun and also hopefully do very well, having had great GMs as an example my whole time here. Surely I’m unstoppable now that I’ve learned to properly submit lines!

@AJW is stepping down from the Fantasy Zone Manager role.
 
I'm glad to announce that @youloser1337 is going to be taking over the role!
 
This position includes:

VHL/VHLE/VHLM Weekly Pick 'Em and pays 4 tpe during the season.
 
Please Congratulate @youloser1337
 
 

Wow! It’s already the start of the VHLM season and Shaw has showed out! In his first 6 games, Shaw has an impressive statistic of 9 assists, and zero goals, with a plus minus of -1, impressive for the only defenceman on his team! He’s showing signs of being an extraordinary passer, connecting with his team well, earning 5 assists in a game. Shaw’s impressive footing puts him third in scoring for all defencemen, topping all players in their first season, and second highest for all S96 players. He is also tied for the most assists among the whole league, with 9 assists, and 0 goals, a truly remarkable achievement. While it’s incredibly early in the season, it will be interesting to see how Shaw goes from this point on, does he look to improve his passing more, does he focus on defence? Or will Shaw look to improve another part of his game, such as his shot or his skating ability. The development of Shaw is one to look for in the future, and it will be interesting to see how Shaw looks in the future, with potentially a better defensive partner, and a developed version of his already incredible passing. A weakness of his game is notably his skating and defense, so it will be interesting to see how that leads in the future for the young Indian. 
 
230 words
Week ending Aug 11, 2024

I've finally been drafted! The wait was very long and difficult but it has been worth it. I ended up going to Mexico City at the end of the first round. As I am the only goalie for the team I can say I'm one hundred percent going to be the starter this season. The only unfortunate thing is that I will be hitting the minors cap soon, so I'll have to go up to the E after this season. I'll only have one shot at a cup here in the M. My goals are to obviously win a cup, win goalie of the year, and have some of the most alien type stats that have ever blessed this league. Will that last part happen? Most decently not but it's good to shoot high am I right? Im grateful for the opportunity to play for Mexico City and id like to thank my former team for accepting me off waivers as well. Good luck to everyone!
 
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Spider Pandas journey in the VHLE has been an eventful one to say the least. Panda was drafted by Rome in the VHLE draft and after a short period of time Panda had requested a move out of Rome. Rome was very much set up for the future but this season they are projected to be sitting at the bottom of the league. Spider Panda only plans to be on the VHLE for one season and really didn’t want to spend it being on a team that isn’t going to be competitive hence the trade request. GM Nathan did honour his wishes and made a trade that sent Spider Panda over to Oslo.
 
     Since being over in Oslo, they’ve been sitting at the bottom of the league, how ironic haha. Despite the teams struggles out of the gate, Panda has been enjoying playing along side the likes of Pastanap, Tano, etc. What is holding Oslo back is having a brand new GM! Nothing against the GM, he’s actually a very good person and is doing the best he can but is very much learning the ropes as a GM. Luckily, Panda has natural GM abilities and has been working with the GM to help him learn how everything works. 
 
     Learning how to set up lines and strategies was a major struggle at first so Panda spent alot of time with the GM navigating how to do that and different ways they could manipulate these during the season. I do believe in the GM and do think he will navigate us through our early season struggles.
 
     The locker room in Rome was a tough experience for Panda because he thrives in active rooms where Rome was pretty dead. Oslo has been a lot better but even Oslo has some work to do to create a better locker room experience for players. Again, the GM is new and learning how to do this, he has hired an AGM who should help with this. I do believe the Oslo LR will be bumping at some point.
 
    As for Spider Panda’s personal performance, he has really struggled out of the gate. He hasn’t been an impact player for his team and he’s going to need to be one of Oslo has any chance to be a true contender. His goal is to continue to train every week and work on those skills that is holding him back now that he’s playing at a higher level. He wants to be the best and at the moment he’s struggling to even be apart of top group of goaltenders.
 
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If anyone were to realize just how close we were to an Ash Sparks-less Malmo, it was close. After a few seasons as a backup, @DarkSpyro Ash Sparks was ready to call it quits. But a trade changed his fate, and the rest is history.
 
While his overall career didn't lead to any championships, he finally ended his time in the league with two Victory Cups (S92 and S93) along with a Greg Clegane in S93. He now leads all of Malmo's goalies in overall wins (226), OTLs (37), 2nd in starting goalie SV% (0.926), 1st in starting goalie GAA (2.41), and SOs (30). Even if there were debates as to his effectiveness, his numbers showed he was one of (if not the) best goalies in Malmo's history.
 
And so, as the Nighthawks progress into the future with new goalies at the helm, I am proud to announce that Ash Spark's jersey will be hung in the Malmo rafters for all time!
 

We are proud to welcome @OblivionWalker has been assigned to the AGM of Oslo
She will be a wonderful addtion to management.