DankTurtle

Review: Obviously this is an automatic 11/10, don’t really need to explain it but I guess I have to. Literally everything about this is absolutely sick. The proportions of the figure are on point, the colors used look great, the lighting is immaculate, hell is even animated??? That’s insane. Love the stick and how it matches the jersey colors, the logos all look great, and the pose is perfect. If this was an actual thing, I’d probably end up buying one. Anyways, like I said earlier, 11/10.

D - Brian Payne @Ahmaon the clock

1. I hope we do even better. We've got a good team and I know we have more to show. 2. My player's offensive game has been massively overhauled this offseason. I have fewer points in skating now but waaaaay more in my other stats. 3. I am pumped to get back into the regular season. I went way higher in the draft than I thought I would so hopefully I can prove to Riga that they made a good choice. 4. Not yet but I've kept in contact with Cole, the GM of Mexico City so we'll see if that helps. 5. I'm a Bruins fan so I'd say they are doing pretty decent. 6. Twizzlers for sure. Red vine people are psychopaths.

I'll take a free +10

Review: Very cool graphic/stats you’re showing off here. All the logos look good, the font is great, and even the player with the logo swap looks great. You did a great job going back the past 5 seasons and getting all the teams' wins, it really kind of shows a story. The only nitpick I have is with the Founders Cup, not your graphic. I saw someone posted how the top looks very plain and that when it’s spinning, it looks like the top isn’t moving at all. Maybe they’ll add some texture or something at some point. Overall, great graphic and stat 11/10.

Review: Very good graphic overall. I like the glasses and the mustache, nice touch with the glare effect on the glasses too. My main complaint with this is that it's just the Florida Panthers logo, not any of the VHL teams or an original logo. I also like the background, and how you put the alternate logo and worked that in there. The lines look a little odd, maybe make them a little transparent or something? Idk, I’m not a graphic designer so still better than I can do. 7/10 keep up the great work!

1. Probably a strict daily schedule of exactly 120 minutes of cardio every day combined with at least 45 minutes in the gym twice a day. 2. He's been great. Anytime I have any sort of questions or want a second opinion on my player's build he's always there to help. 3. Im hoping to stay under 200TPE this offseason so I can get one more year in the minors before moving over to Europe. 4. Getting the cup is the whole reason to play at any level so I definitely want to get it this year before I move to Europe. 5. I normally do protein before workouts, normally in the morning. 6. It's gotta be Grandma's famous peanut butter cookies. Reminds me of my childhood.

1. Dank is super pumped. Very disappointed following the finals loss to Ottawa but he's ready to show what he can do at this tournament. 2. I'm hoping to see a lot of offensive talent and highs scoring games here, mostly due to Dank being a forward 3. I've got plenty of friends on this team, even the GM was on my minors team. 4. It's been beyond awesome. This is by far the best hockey sim league I've ever been a part of. 5. Coke for sure although Mountain Dew is my fav and thats a Pepsi product. But Coke is way better than Pepsi. 6. Any day the Bruins are playing is my favorite (or just Saturday I guess).

Review: Dang you guys are so much better at photoshop than I could ever be. I love the little Reese’s peanut butter cups you added in the background, very nice touch. I’m assuming the grainy effect on the player is by design but the all black uniform kind of takes away from it a little bit. It doesn’t really look super cool. I think you should add a McFlurry somewhere in there or at least a McDonalds logo. I give it an 8/10.

Review: This graphic is sick. I love the background and the tint that you have on the entire thing. The Cutout of the player is clean and I really like the ghost effect thing right under the sig. The only complaint on this one is that the jersey doesn’t have a logo on it. I know it’s hard but you’ve got to get at least something on there. Overall, I really like it though, I give it a 7/10.

1. I think we win this next series in 6 max. No team can push us to 7 games. 2. It's all he's been talking about for a few weeks now. Can't wait to win it for him. 3. I have no clue. I expect I'll be in the minors again cause I'm still about 50 TPE away from 200 so hopefully I win the cup 2 years in a row and head over to Europe picked high. 4. I would definitely pick shapeshifting. You get flight cause you can be a bird, you can be strong by becoming a gorilla, you get everything. 5. Boston Bruins!!! LETS GO B's!!!! 6. Not a huge fan of hotdogs from rinks but my old highschool had the best by far.

Review: Overall it looks sick. The logo is in the perfect spot and you cut just enough out of it. I like the font you chose for the player name, its not crazy and it’s easy to read. The glare looks pretty cool and I like how you blurred the background. My only criticism is that the color swap from yellow to black looks off. The jersey looks very flat and its doesn’t look like it has any texture to it. I don’t really know much about photoshop but I’m assuming it’s very hard to fix that so I don’t really blame you too much. I give it an 8/10.

Review: Absolutely badass graphic. All of the logos looks sick, even the ones where the jersey fold over onto the logo. You picked goo jerseys to use with the teams that you wanted. I think you could have maybe added some extra effects in the background and some of the outlines are a little off (especially the sick on the San Diego guy) but still much better than I could do. Extra points for including Pasta and the Bruins. I give it a 10/10.

1. I think our only issue right now is that we're actually too good and that the fans are going to get bored seeing us win so easily. 2. I've been ready. Nobody out there can stop us. 3. I mean I play at the highest level I can so it depends on the game. I'm a ranked warrior for sure. 4. Oh yeah all my friends and family are coming. Basically going to have a whole section dedicated to them. 5. Not really but I've been picking it up a lot recently, can't wait for the offseason because I'm planning on rerolling. 6. I like to load up on pizza in the lockerroom before games. I want to be puking my guts out there.

Review: Sick concept, creating a product to sponsor the team. I might make something similar someday. I love the actual beer logo at the top and the large wolf howling is siiiiiiiick. It looks like a real product that I would see in the grocery store. Even just the background looks pretty dope and fits with the whole wolves aesthetic. Howler Growler is a fantastic name for beer too, great job. I give it a 10/10, I'd definitely try it

Quick review: first off, just kind of a side note, the jerseys are sick. Love the colors and the logo. The photoshop job on the jersey is perfect, it looks real and natural. The same goes for the logo on the jersey, it looks like it's supposed to be there. The actual signature on the bottom left looks a little too long to be an actual signature but it looks cool and it could definitely still be a signature. Overall it is great, I give it a 9/10.

1. All I want is to give them a good show and hopefully bring home a cup for the city. We thank them for their support and I'm honored to put on that jersey every game. 2. I mean he's been successful so far so I don't see why not. 3. Oh he should get it hands down. I think the only person giving him a run for his money is Rigs. 4. For sure. Our offense is insanely talented and potent. There are very few teams that can outright match our offensive firepower. I think some players are obviously more important than others but everyone has a role to play and right now everyone is playing it well. 5. The only real weakness that I see with our team is that we only have two defensemen but Ross is making sure we don't get punished for that. 6. My girlfriend introduced me to this local Mexican place and they have the best fried burritos. We go every time we visit her grandparents.

1. I think our team's biggest rival currently is the Houston Bulls. I would have said Ottawa but they're in the east and I wanted to say a team we play more often. Our games with Houston are always interesting though. 2. So far I haven't really developed any personal rivals but I would love to have one. 3. I only watched a little bit of the Superbowl and I'm not a capitals fan so I didn't watch that either. I was keeping up with the score of the Superbowl and I saw it was pretty hype. 4. I have a pretty good hockey IQ when I'm playing. I normally see my teammates and I'm able to make solid plays. I have hands made of bricks though so don't expect me to dangle anyone too much. 5. Our goalie has been pretty nuts this season. He's had a few weak games in the past few weeks but overall he's been consistently good. 6. With fried fish, like fish n chips, I sometimes use ketchup but that's really it. I guess you could say lemon juice maybe but that's not really a condiment.

Claiming for week ending 2/19/23

Review: I'll start with the jerseys and logos. You did a great job photoshopping the colors and the logos onto the jerseys and I like how you paid attention to the details with the numbers and even putting “Molotov” on the jersey although the font is a little off. The placement of the Nighthawks logo with the rays radiating out was a very nice touch as well. Could have maybe photoshoped a fan or two to have a jersey on as well but I don’t blame you for that, its very minor details, and its very likely that no one sitting there would be a fan because they might be the away team. Overall, I give it an 8/10.

I’m not going to lie, when I first joined this league I was very intimidated. I’m used to the NHL game sim leagues and I’ve only been in one other that was somewhat similar to this one so after looking around on my first day, you can understand why I took a few days to digest everything and finally make a player. The first challenge I encountered was understanding what the discord actually was. There was not really any explanation as to how to make a player and what the sim engine actually is. Luckily, the newcomer help channel was very useful and the community was very helpful in explaining what the next few steps were. After I made a player, someone (discord user N0HBDY) from the recruitment staff reached out to me and walked me through joining a team in the minors. It was very appreciated. The GM of the team I joined was responsive and welcomed me with open arms, as did my new teammates. It’s taken a little bit of time to get used to and I’m not sure how much I’m actually going to be able to progress and how good I’ll be able to make my player, as I’m not much of a writer or graphic designer. I wish there was some other way for people like me to gain TPE but I understand it is all about cultivating an engaging and active community. Overall, this entire league is absolutely bonkers and I am excited to be a part of it! Word Count: 256

I am by no means an expert in hockey or predicting how teams will perform, these are just my opinions on how the season has been going so far. Please dont take anything personal if I rated your team low, I just want everybody to have fun! 1. Ottawa Lynx: Ottawa has been on a tear since about 15 games ago, scoring a bunch of goals and not letting a lot in. Matthew McCagg has been lights out this entire season, leading all goalie with a .927 save percentage and 2.02 goals against average. Led offensively by Gregger McKeggegger they seem to be shutting down any goalie they play against and eliminating any opportunities for goals to go against them. They don’t have a whole bunch of players but who they have are performing at alarming rates. If the offense is able to keep up at the rate they are going and McCagg is able to hold this form for the rest of the season I don’t know who would have the possibility of beating them in a playoff series. 2. Mexico City Kings: After starting the season like 18-0 they are now 24-8-0. The Kings looked like they were shot out of a cannon in the early part of the season but as time has gone on some cracks in the armor have appeared. With the most potent offense in the league they lead in goals for on the season and have the highest goal differential but they have seemed to slow down and the gap between them and the rest of the league has become smaller and smaller. Defensively they aren’t as much of a powerhouse but are still the second-best team in fewest goals against on the season. With players like Captain Nuggets, Tim Riggins, and Grizz Tazzo however, they should still be one of the favorite contenders for a championship at the end of the season. 3. Mississauga Hounds: The Hounds have gone for a very different approach to try to win in the minors. While they don’t have an astounding number of players, their players are insanely good and very dangerous with the puck. Their player with the lowest TPA (excluding the goalie) has 131 which still beats some of the lower teams best. I think their weakest link again is probably the goalie but they also don’t have any true centers on the roster. If they were ablet o pick up one or two solid face-off guys they could really be something dangerous. 4. San Diego Marlins: San Diego has on of the most complete rosters in the league, running with 5 defensemen and 3 full lines of forwards. They play a heavy defensive style of hockey and prefer low scoring games. Their weakest link currently is their goalie Olivier Gauthier, who can’t seem to keep up with the rest of the team. If San Diego want to really step it up to the next level they’ll need to trade for a solid starter between the pipes and minimize what they give up for it. 5. Miami Marauders: Miami has by no means been a bad team throughout this season but they are just missing something to put them into the top contenders category. They score often and have a solid defense and goalie to ensure the other teams can’t score. The Marauders just can’t seem to kick it into next gear and really dominate on the other teams in the league. My only complaint about them is that they only have 2 defensemen that actually improve, if they were to offload some of the lower scoring wingers, they could become a team that’s others hate to play. 6. Halifax 21st: Halifax has been pretty mediocre so far at the near halfway point but recently their play has been a little more solid going 7-3 in their last 10 games. They aren’t the most dangerous offensive team but they score when it matters and they’ve done a decent job at keeping the puck out of their own net. Stefan Norris has been very solid for the two teams he’s played for this season, posting over .915 for each after 32 starts. If they are able to find a way to score more goals Halifax could be on of the scariest teams in the league 7. Houston Bulls: The Bulls have been a solid team for the majority of the season but recently they have seemed to struggle a little bit. They have lost their last 4 in a row and don’t really have any outstanding stats on their scoresheet. They have solid players that have the potential to dominate but for some reason they don’t really seem to click on the ice. Goaltending this season has been on par and they have a luxury that most other teams don’t; they have multiple goalies. Houston has the option to rest their goalies and play whichever one is hotter but it hasn’t seemed to do much help so far. Shadow Thompson has just recently joined the team but hasn’t performed well in the 3 games he has started. We’ll have to see if he can find his stride but I wouldn’t count Houston out of the race just yet. 8. Las Vegas Aces: The Aces have been a lower tier team all season with a 12-20-0 record. The old adage that defense wins championships still applies here with Vegas not being able to stop the other teams from putting the puck into their net. Vegas has the second highest goals against in the league but they still have found ways to win a few games, scoring when it matters. They have shown signs that the offense has the potential to dig them out of their rut but it doesn’t look like it’s consistent enough to hold them above the water and get them into a contending spot. One of the true questions on the team is goalie Igor Vezina, who has been in the minors for a few seasons now but hasn’t really been able to find his footing. I would probably put them into the “Looking forward to next season” category. 9. Philadelphia Reapers: The Reapers have had a pretty tough season. They are currently suffering the same fate as most of the other lower tier teams in which the defense has been very underperforming. Their star player so far this season is Timothy Swearingen with 42 points in 32 games. Even he isn’t immune to the poor defensive performance on the team, posting a -3 for his +/- on the season. In net, Jeffrey Blake has been struggling with his first season in the minors but he’s got plenty of time to develop his skills before getting a chance to play in the big leagues. 10. Saskatoon Wild: Unfortunately for Saskatoon this season has not gone the way they hoped. With a record of 1-29-2. Unsurprisingly they also have the fewest amount of people on the team meaning most of their roster is bots and fillers. This is definitely not helping in any regards. Saskatoon is at the bottom of the standings with a goal differential of -92, leading the league in the wrong direction. On the bright side, the actual players (at least the forwards) are almost on a PPG pace throughout their careers. Definitely not the season they were looking for but hopefully next season will be better. 1236 words

1. I'm not worried one bit. It happens to every team at some point. I'm confident in our player's abilities and the staff that we have here in Mexico City. 2. I've actually never seen the man before games, he just kind of shows up when we are stepping on the ice with an XL soda in one hand and Big Mac in his other. 3. The fact that Connor McDaddy didn't win the accuracy shooting is ridiculous. It's not Fastest Shooting, it's ACCURACY. If a player goes 8/8 they should win. The game itself wasn't too bad, I love the 3v3 it just felt like nobody was really trying. 4. I mean there's a reason I ain't a GM. I trust the man with what he's doing and I can't see too much to improve upon seeing as basically all teams have like one or two defensemen. 5. Very basic answer here but I'm a Boston Bruins fan so I've gotta go with Monty even though it feels like the team is more coached by the core than the actual coach. I've heard a bunch of stories of Bergeron, Krejci, Foligno, and all these old guys pumping up the team. 6. Depends on what burrito you get. Their standard ones are kinda bad but the quesorito and grilled cheese burritos are fire. McDanks nuggies are just kinda mid, not bad but not great.

If you’ve been watching the VHLM you’ve no doubt hear of the dominance that the Mexico City Kings and been exhibiting throughout this season so far. On the season they are 20-2-0 with a goal differential of +44 (that’s 14 more than the next highest team). During this early stretch of games, Mexico City is averaging 4.86 goals per game while only letting up 2.86 per game. Much of this can be attributed to the top scorers on the team, Captain Nugget, Tim Riggins, Grizz Tazzo. This core has been around for a while and is leading the team towards an easy playoff spot and early cup contention. One of the most surprising additions to the team is newcomer Noel Roux Jr. It’s his rookie season in the VHLM and in his 22 games played he has 41 points! Roux Jr has been lighting up the league and is sure to be high on teams lists for the first draft that he is eligible for. While we are only 22 games into the 72-game season, Mexico City already has their eyes set on the cup and show very little signs of slowing down.

1. Honestly this is by far one of the coolest sim leagues I've been in. I like how fast seasons go while still playing 72 every season and how long this league has been running is bonkers. 2. I think Steven Mcdard is serverely underlooked. He's only got 66 TPE points used but is still performing at a point per game pace. 3. As of now Mexico City is clearly running away with it as we are 20-2 on the season but other teams are still keeping up. 4. Our discord is pretty awesome, it's pretty active and the guys are always getting hyped for the games and to see how we did. 5. I know it looks really intimidating but its actually really easy to create a player and dont be afraid to try things out, you get one free reroll. 6. I dont think I'll be insanely high as Im not the most creative person and I don't really enjoy writing. I wish there was some way to earn more TPE by interacting with the community in some other way such as playing games or participating in discord and stuff.