Something about Hex...

[Hex Universe 253]

June 28th
I'm gonna keep this date in my heart...

Over the course of the last several weeks, I have been having particular thoughts about not only the past, but myself in the present day. I've thought about how both my past events and current events life, how my mind and heart has traversed it and how I found it's history odd...
Like... I've been slightly lying to myself
I'm somebody who thought I was something forever, and never questioned it. Even when small things were beginning to show themselves, I never paid attention or wanted to anyways.
Was I afraid? Why should I be afraid of what this is? Does it matter if I'm afraid?
I should be proud about it and not lie to myself any longer...

So, I believe it's time to say it....

 

I write this to you all today because, as of today, I do come out as both Ace and Aro
Particularly Aceflux and Aroflux

 

Aceflux is essentially I am on a spectrum of sometimes feeling sexual and other times not having any sexual feelings at all, even for the same person

 

Aroflux is the same thing as Aceflux except instead of sexual feelings it's romantic feelings

Tbh I am about in tears writing this, as not only does this end the lie about myself, but I know that this is gonna be a huge change for me in many aspects of my present day life and future life.

Edited June 29, 2021 by Hex Universe
Edited for Aceflux/Aroflux meanings

[JardyB10 4,865]

ngl, I had to Google what that all meant, but that's good you're figuring yourself out man. 

[a_Ferk 766]

I also don't really understand what this means (also from sask.) but do you man. Whatever makes you happy.

Edited June 29, 2021 by a_Ferk

[bigAL 2,176]

I’m happy you’re happy Hex! It can be really confusing to have feelings for someone one day and not the next and again the next day. It’s easy to feel like you're the problem, like there’s something wrong with you. Then you just beat the hell out of yourself for not being a good partner, or cut yourself off from love and friends because, or just start to hate yourself for not being “normal”.

When you can notice those things AND learn that there’s a scientific word for it, it’s such a powerful validation that you’re not completely and utterly fucked up, even though that’s what your brain’s been telling you. Once you know how you work, you can own that identity and not be ashamed of yourself. You can explain yourself to partners, you can go easy on yourself on days where things aren’t going the way you want them to, and just be happy with what comes your way each day instead of stressing about what isn’t happening. 

 

I hadn’t heard those terms before, but I’m glad they exist because they help you explain you. As one of my kids would say, there’s lots of different kinds of people in the Alphabet Mafia (that’s what they call LGBTQ+ and it cracks me up every time)

Edited June 29, 2021 by bigAL
Autocorrect

[fishy 1,757]

Cheers to this! I'm so glad that you felt comfortable coming to the VHL community about something deeply personal. I'm sure that the process of identifying, grappling with, and trying to understand what it means to you was really difficult, so mad respect for settling on words that feel like home.

 

Like BigAL mentioned, finding language to describe your thoughts, feelings, and tendencies is so satisfying; I'm so glad that you were able to find and embrace these words to describe who YOU are and make them mean what you need them to. It's empowering, and I hope you find so much solace in that.

 

I also want to say that I completely understand the fear of coming out to people, especially when you know that it may not be an overwhelmingly positive response. I hope that we as a VHL community can support you in a way that is meaningful to you despite the fact that these identities are ones that simply don't directly affect us. However, education is a great way to help both allies who want to be better and members of the Queer community who aren't familiar with your identities.

 

Your coming out was brave, and I respect you so much for it. It is by no means required, and I'm honored as a member of this community that you decided to show us this part of yourself. It's also great to know that other members who may be unfamiliar with these terms may realize that the things they feel (or don't) aren't just them; you've opened a conversation in which people can participate in very different capacities.

 

I hope it goes without saying, but feel free to reach out to me if you think that I can provide you support that you need.

[Hex Universe 253]

Thank you all for the amazing support! I am so happy to be in the VHL community and have since come out to other people. I love all of y'all and let's continue making the VHL the best place on the internet!

[JardyB10 4,865]

13 hours ago, Hex Universe said:

I love all of y'all and let's continue making the VHL the best place on the internet!

I’m pretty sure you’re thinking of /r/aww

[Baozi 1,658]

Yay Hex! Glad you can accept and be proud of yourself! That's how it always should be.