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Who Is The Best Player In The VHL Portal?


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Did you know there are 4292 player pages currently in the VHL Portal? That’s an obscene amount of players, especially since that only accounts for the players that were in the league in Season 47 and later as well. But to date, we aren’t sure which is the best player in the VHL Portal, so I’m going to use the science of rankings to figure out who is the best player in the VHL Portal. I’d best get started now then:

 

The first player that the randomizer had me rank was Ian Smith, a defenseman that was created for the Season 84 Draft. Perhaps the biggest surprise here is that it took until Season 84 for someone to take the name Ian Smith. There’s not really much else to say about Ian Smith because he created his player and never came back, not even to sign a contract with a VHLM team and never applied their starting TPE to their player. However, through virtue of not having anyone yet to rank him against, Ian Smith is currently the best player in the VHL Portal, congrats!

 

The next player that the randomizer had me look at was Elfon Ashelf, a presumably festive based player name from the user cosbornballboy, who had previously given us the delightfully named X-Wing @Aliciousness. Unlike Smith, Ashelf did appear to earn at least some TPE, as they are listed as having 36 TPA in an era before catch-up TPE. Ashelf was drafted by the Calgary Wranglers with the 15th overall pick in the Season 59 VHL Draft and boy, if that’s not an indicator of the difference of where we’re at recruitment wise then I don’t know what is! One of the beautiful things about digging into these players that no one has heard of is that you find these fantastic anomalies, such as this game, where Ashelf entered at the start of the third period for the Oslo Storm who were at that point losing 7-0, only for Ashelf to put out a shutout clinic, conceding zero goals from zero shots in their nineteen minutes on the ice. I think this alone cements Ashelf’s place as the new best player in the VHL Portal, bumping Ian Smith down to second place.

 

Although that stint as top dog may be fleeting as the randomizer next has me look at a player that actually played in the VHL pro league, Matthew Kai. Kai was created by the member FBR who has had six players over the course of their VHL careers, four of which made the VHL, and they are currently in the league with the player Arthur Kimura, who is a VHLE mainstay. Kai was FBR’s previous player before Kimura and they got off to a great start, getting drafted eighth overall by the then Quebec City Meute (now Vancouver Wolves) in the Season 65 VHL Draft, before winning the Founders Cup with the Minnesota Storm in Season 65. They graduated to the VHL the following season with the Malmo Nighthawks and were then traded to the Toronto Legion in Season 67, the team they would go on to spend four seasons with and while they never really got close to any individual awards, they did play a part in Toronto’s Season 67 Victory Cup win. Their best season with the Legion was in Season 68, where they were third on the team in goals and led the team in hits. On the topic of hits, while never having a huge amount of checking (capping out at 60), they always recorded more than 100 hits in a season, which is pretty solid numbers. While he never scared opponents into submission like Ashelf, it’s clear that Kai had far more of an impact on the VHL than Ashelf did, therefore Matthew Kai now takes the reign as the best player in the VHL portal.

 

So there you have it for now, until anyone tells you otherwise (likely myself since I’ll probably do another one of these next week), Matthew Kai is the best player in the VHL Portal.

 

Current Leaderboard:

1: Matthew Kai

2: Elfon Ashelf

3: Ian Smith

Edited by MubbleFubbles
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Wow. This is simultaneously absolutely incredible and mind-blowingly horrifying. In terms of content creation, this is a slam dunk idea, and I can't wait to see one of my players make an appearance. I like your writing style, very direct and to the point, but with an underlying smirk that comes through in your words. It's a quick, easy read, and legitimately entertaining, so I have no complaints or critiques whatsoever. I look forward to next week. 10/10

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