gorlab 4,321 Posted November 4, 2014 Share Posted November 4, 2014 It is a gradual process. Taking hold not over weeks and months, but years. Decades. Entire lives. The game engraves it's way onto the body. It envelops itself around the soul. Insistently. Excruciatingly. Completely. The Bern Royals and Bratislava Watchmen have begun another arduous pursuit of their leagues ultimate prize. Caught in the animosity between two fierce rivals is one of hockey's next great hopes. Jody 3 Moons has experienced success beyond all expectations in his breakout second VHLM season. After a rookie campaign filled with turbulence both on-and-off the ice, his sophomore performance has silenced all critics and made the VHL universe take note. The sky was the limit for the young Ukrainian-born phenom. He had nowhere to go except right to the very top until he got mixed up with a group he thought he could trust. It might turn out to be his fatal mistake. One of the most popular players in Bern Royals history Spending the first 52 games of Season 40 with his beloved Bern Royals, under new management by a business man known only as 'jaladonair', 3 Moons had firmly planted himself as the most dominant player in the VHLM. He lead the league in points through the first half of the season and is the only player in the top-10 of both the goals and assists categories, underlining his multifaceted and ruthless offensive production. It seemed that he would be a shoe-in for League MVP until the morning of November 1st when news broke that would shock the VHLM and hockey world. In an unprecedented turn of events Jody 3 Moons was traded from Bern to their European rivals the Bratislava Watchmen for a highly-criticized return of a mid-1st round S41 draft pick. The two clubs were entrenched in a war for the 2nd place in Europe and looked destined to meet in a highly-anticipated 1st round playoff grudge match, which is now looking more likely to be a one-sided sweep by the Watchmen. Bern supporters were enraged with the new management's decision to practically throw in the towel on Season 40. Bern boasted a core of blue-chip defencemen in Jaime Hill and Niklas Karlsson who were among the best in the league. They also had a talented young forward in Kyle Kingma who, under the tutelage of 3 Moons, was coming into his own offensively. To add insult to the injury of shipping the league MVP to rival Bratislava, Bern's front-office also decided to trade their #1 defenceman Jaime Hill to their other European rival, the Oslo Storm. Another deal which saw them receive future considerations in return. Jody 3 Moons refused to speak after his final appearance in a Bern uniform 3 Moons has not publicly commented on the situation in Bern but sources close to the player have said that he was not happy with the trade and was especially resentful of the management of both clubs. An error in player registration after the deal resulted in 3 Moons having to miss 4 games, giving his former rivals and new teammates Sachimo Zoidberg and Oskars Harumpf a much-needed, and thoroughly undeserved, boost in the league scoring race. Rumours have erupted that this was done intentionally at the request of both Bratislava and Bern management, as Bern GM jaladonair has been heavily linked with Bratislava superstar Sachimo Zoidberg in the past. Some have even considered that his hiring in Bern was a planned conspiracy to ensure that Zoidberg finishes with a better stat line than 3 Moons, who many consider to be the better player. It is no secret that 3 Moons has been noted to have somewhat of an ego problem and is very likely not pleased at the thought of losing out to players he has, and continues to feel are inferior. Needless to say, adding the superstar talent of Jody 3 Moons has made Bratislava heavy favourites to bring home the Season 40 Founder's Cup. However it is possible that the volatility of the situation, coupled with the ego of 3 Moons, could be a recipe for disaster. League officials have resolved the player registration issue that sidelined hockey's Travis Tritt for 5 games, but there is still a hint of uncertainty in the air, as there has been no confirmation from 3 Moons' camp that he will dawn the jersey of Bratislava. FIN KitRas 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KitRas 188 Posted November 4, 2014 Share Posted November 4, 2014 Im glad you like your new team Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gorlab 4,321 Posted November 4, 2014 Author Share Posted November 4, 2014 Why do I constantly get screwed over at every turn in this god-forsaken league? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RomanesEuntDomus 442 Posted November 4, 2014 Share Posted November 4, 2014 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gorlab 4,321 Posted November 4, 2014 Author Share Posted November 4, 2014 inb4 the grader gives me 3/6 for this to rub salt in my wounds. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KitRas 188 Posted November 4, 2014 Share Posted November 4, 2014 Lol at your new avvy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gorlab 4,321 Posted November 4, 2014 Author Share Posted November 4, 2014 kitras don't try to be buddy buddy with me, I know you were fully aware of jala's plans to sabotage my sparkling VHLM season. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KitRas 188 Posted November 4, 2014 Share Posted November 4, 2014 If anything it was my plan. I proposed the trade Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gorlab 4,321 Posted November 4, 2014 Author Share Posted November 4, 2014 Draper please rescue me from this hell hole that is Bratislava and reunite me with my real friend, Jaime Hill. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eaglesfan036 4,595 Posted November 4, 2014 Share Posted November 4, 2014 i like the picture Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doomsday 4,120 Posted November 4, 2014 Share Posted November 4, 2014 So you've finally realized the VHL is nothing but a giant conspiracy that is out to get you, huh? Just a heads-up: VHLM awards mean dick in the long run. Quit your bitching and get ready for the real competition. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harumpf 313 Posted November 4, 2014 Share Posted November 4, 2014 Feel bad for 3Moons. Harumpf vows to set him up for some goals so he can catch back up to Zoidberg in points. It doesn't matter to me who scores as long as I get the assist. gorlab 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Head Moderator frescoelmo 1,268 Posted November 5, 2014 Head Moderator Share Posted November 5, 2014 (edited) Content: 3/3 - Fun little write-up about 3 Moons and his disappointment in being traded to another team in the midst of the playoff race. This will likely push him out of the scoring and point title, which is surely frustrating. The worst part though, the playoff series that will never happen now! ~720. Grammar: 1.75/2 - Not too bad, make sure you read through before you submit! engraves it's way = engraves its way their leagues ultimate prize = their leagues' ultimate prize 'jaladonair' = 'jaladolar' (his user name?) He lead the league = He led the league Appearance: 1/1 - Nice work. 5.75/6 Edited November 5, 2014 by frescoelmo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gorlab 4,321 Posted November 5, 2014 Author Share Posted November 5, 2014 To be fair, misspelling his username is pretty much commonplace through the VHL. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caillean 504 Posted November 5, 2014 Share Posted November 5, 2014 'jaladonair' = 'jaladonar' (his user name?) 5.75/6 That's not it either, it's Jaladolar! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Head Moderator frescoelmo 1,268 Posted November 5, 2014 Head Moderator Share Posted November 5, 2014 To be fair, misspelling his username is pretty much commonplace through the VHL. If A, I and R were not all on completely opposite sides of the keyboard (sequentially, of course), I would probably agree with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Head Moderator frescoelmo 1,268 Posted November 5, 2014 Head Moderator Share Posted November 5, 2014 That's not it either, it's Jaladolar! ball sack epicflai Will 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gorlab 4,321 Posted November 5, 2014 Author Share Posted November 5, 2014 No, the running joke is that you purposely misspell his username, because people always spell it wrong unintentionally anyways (like you did) hence why I used jaladonair. I also use jaladorito, jaladaryl, jaladoorknob, etc. etc. etc. 701 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caillean 504 Posted November 5, 2014 Share Posted November 5, 2014 No, the running joke is that you purposely misspell his username, because people always spell it wrong unintentionally anyways (like you did) hence why I used jaladonair. I also use jaladorito, jaladaryl, jaladoorknob, etc. etc. etc. Jaladoral was a good one too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Da Trifecta 1,896 Posted November 5, 2014 Share Posted November 5, 2014 (edited) Content: 3/3 This was actually quite funny imo. You were having a stellar season. I don't see why you would slow down with playing with Roidberg imo lol. Grammar: 2/2 Neo nazi already grabbed them Appearance: 1/1 Final: 6/6 Edited November 5, 2014 by Da Trifecta Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Head Moderator frescoelmo 1,268 Posted November 5, 2014 Head Moderator Share Posted November 5, 2014 Grammar: 2/2 Neo nazi already grabbed them I have long hair, fuck you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kendrick 4,741 Posted November 11, 2014 Share Posted November 11, 2014 Claimed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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