Claimed:SPACE JAM II IS HERE! [FINAL 6/6]

[Tagger 2,722]

 

Hello everyone! My name is M Night Shyamalan and I’m delighted to announce today that Warner Bros. and the Victory Hockey League have agreed terms that will see the Warner Bros. Animation create Space Jam II, a hockey film that will be a direct sequel to the hit 1996 basketball film Space Jam, with me as the director. We’ve been given permission to speak to five VHL “superstars” about a lead role in the film and we will be adapting the plot to fit their characteristics. However, in a unique step for film-making, we’d like to ask you, the VHL fans, which player you would like to see represent the VHL in Space Jam II. We’ll be posting the synopsis for each of the five movies below, so give them a read through and then vote for your favourite! Thanks for your time and remember; if the movie sucks, it’s probably your fault!

 

 

Space Jam II: Oh, Was That Today?

Starring Mr. Grumpy Bear as Brady Stropko

 

The Monstars have returned to Looney Tune Land and are threatening to turn the Looney Tune’s home into a giant amusement park if Bugs Bunny and Co. cannot beat them in a game of hockey. Severely outmatched, the Looney Tunes turn to VHL superstar Brady Stropko to help them defeat the Monstars. Get excited as Brady Stropko accepts the Monstars challenge and then immediately feel let down as he turns up almost a week late for the game! Recoil in terror as Stropko discovers the dead carcasses of Daffy Duck and Foghorn Leghorn and then sees the few living Looney Tunes characters forced into a “Human Centipede” for what is undisputedly the most horrific amusement park to date! Finally, stay tuned for the gripping finale that sees Stropko take absolutely no responsibility for what has happened to Looney Tune Land!

 

Space Jam II: Is This a Joke?

Starring Edgar as Lenny Face

 

The Monstars have returned to Looney Tune Land and are threatening to turn the Looney Tune’s home into a giant amusement park if Bugs Bunny and Co. cannot beat them in a game of hockey. Severely outmatched, the Looney Tunes frantically search for ways to commit suicide in a PG movie after they are forced to accept 0 TPE goalie Lenny Face as their “saviour”. Watch as Lenny Face manages to defy all expectations and fails to save a single shot! Chuckle as you realise that the Looney Tunes would actually comfortably beat the Monstars had they picked a half decent goalie! Howl with laughter as the Looney Tune’s “saviour” is subbed off at the end of the second period and replaced with Tweety Bird!  Realising that they wouldn’t have won the game had it not been for the horrific performance of Lenny Face, the Monstars agree to leave Looney Tune Land alone. Instead, after seeing that they didn’t need to waste resources on an amusement park for their entertainment, the Monstars take Lenny Face back to their home planet for the amusement they so desperately craved, leading to quite possibly the funniest credits sequence in film history!

 

Space Jam II: This Thing Is Three Hours Long?

Starring Advantage as Chris Miller

 

The Monstars have returned to Looney Tune Land and are threatening to turn the Looney Tune’s home into a giant amusement park if Bugs Bunny and Co. cannot beat them in a game of hockey. Severely outmatched, the Looney Tunes seek inspiration from star General Manager Chris Miller. When Miller and the Monstars finally meet, look around in desperation as you realise that Miller has been droning on about his achievements to the Monstars for an hour! Sigh deeply as you watch Miller ramble on about his multiple Victory Cup wins for another hour! Roll your eyes back to an unrecoverable location as Miller spends the third hour claiming that Jakob Linholm and Logan Laich were terrific draft picks! Finally, as you get up and frantically search for as sharp an object as you can find in a cinema to slit your wrists with, celebrate as the Monstars submit to Miller out of sheer frustration, leave Looney Tune Land be and let the movie end! The Looney Tunes are safe, but can the same be said about your sanity?

 

Space PIM

Starring YEAH as Edwin Encarnacion

 

The Monstars have returned to Looney Tune Land and are threatening to turn the Looney Tune’s home into a giant amusement park if Bugs Bunny and Co. cannot beat them in a game of hockey. Unaware of how hockey actually works, the Looney Tunes look at PIM totals to find a recruit for their team, ending up with none other than the five-time PIM champion Edwin Encarnacion. Acknowledge that the part where Edwin coaches the Looney Tunes his interpretation of “hockey” is probably supposed to be a comedy piece, then realise that the directors have as little clue about hockey as Encarnacion! Become very confused as the Looney Tunes and the Monstars do their very best to ignore the ball (yes there is no puck in this movie about hockey) and spend all game trying to get into the penalty box! Face-palm like a beleaguered Pajodcast host when you realise the hockey nets have been replaced with basketball hoops! Try and fail to keep track of the scoreboard as both sides rack up triple digits in PIMS! Watch the movie end with Encarnacion delivering a devastating goalie sack to the Monstar that stole Brick Wahl’s “talent”! Leave the theatre very confused as to why anyone would want to steal Brick Wahl’s “talent”!

 

SHL’s Space Jam II

Starring Gorlab as Jody 3 Moons

 

Buckle up motherfuckers! When the SHL’s favourite set of cartoon characters, the Looney Tunes, are challenged to a hockey game by the returning Monstars, Bugs Bunny calls up his best friend Jody 3 Moons, who then calls his bro-team bros, the SHL Bros, asking if they can help a bro out! When the SHL Bros come along, the Monstars ask for mercy like the pussies they are, but the SHL Bros aren’t taking that shit. After spending the lead-up to the game moving the locker rooms to a far more bro-friendly location, the SHL Bros fist-pump and chest-bump their way to complete dominance over those coloured pussy Monstars! Get really fucking hyped as Steven Jalopski scores goal after goal after goal after goal! Jump out of your seat as 3 Moons catches those Monstar cunts with fade after fade! Celebrate as the entire SHL Bros squad rip off the head and shit down the collective throat of the vastly inferior Monstars team on their way to a dominant 10020-0 victory! Forget that this was a VHL movie, you’re an SHL guy now dick-licker! 

Edited May 31, 2015 by YEAH!

[Molholt 2,185]

First one

[scoop 3,432]

I laughed...

 

 

 

 

out loud.

[CoachReilly 688]

I can always tell when YEAH! posts a media spot

[Munk 1,298]

I can always tell when YEAH! posts a media spot

I guess it helps his name shows up.

Hehe pls lowe me

[DollarAndADream 3,356]

Content: 3/3 - My favourite is the gorlab one. I hope Boychuk can slot in at least at some part of the movie, maybe like how Bill Murray came in as the saviour to help Michael Jordan?

Grammar: 2/2 - NOTHIN.

Appearance: 1/1 - Sick brah

Overall: 6/6

[Kendrick 4,741]

Claimed