Devise 4,475 Posted August 21, 2016 Share Posted August 21, 2016 All Star Roster Comparison - Who Looks Better? This "totally unbiased" and "completely objective" article is presented and brought to you by the @Mr. Power player agency. It was carefully crafted with the most accurate scientific methods, and as such should basically be considered gospel. Also I'm pretty sure I'm a real douchebag for tagging myself in a post I made, so @Kendrick continues to have a leg up on me in terms of being a more classy/well rounded member and person, but who cares am I right? We don't have a set date yet, mostly due to delays from terrible a terrible virus outbreak, "robberies" caused by legitimate police upset at various VHL players getting too drunk and causing a stir, and claims that even the VHL players aren't exempt from serious steroid scandals. Many people claim that @Draper the man responsible for determining this years All Star Game location is to blame, but the man himself insists this years festivities have gone off without a hitch, and are on pace to be the most celebrated and prestigious ever. The delay of the game however gives us more time to analyze which team, and which of the two All Star Team Captains have drafted the best roster. So we are here to take a look at the rosters, by position, to determine who has the best edge. Forwards Team Devise Edwin Reencarnacon @YEAH!stlemania Sir William Covington III @KingRobbie Joel Jarvi @gregreg Thor Odinsson @boom Shawn Muller @TheLastOlympian07 Jordan Maverick @Dmoushey_31 Team Kendrick Unassisted @STZ Aleksi Koponen @Draper Tom Lincoln @brovy John Sleeman @Frank Bogdan Podarok @ADwyer87 Neils Skovsgaard @Tim Analysis: Team Kendrick decided to opt for an intriguing strategy to draft mostly Quebec forwards. 4 of his six are all from the Meute, and they will likely have a chemistry advantage going in. But in that same breath, the majority of the Quebec players drafted have struggled to win much thus far in their careers, mostly due to the fact that the Meute themselves have struggled. Kopononen not withstanding of course. For the most part the forward groups match up rather well, with a mix of higher TPE elite level players and depth. But the edge obviously goes to Team Devisse simply due to the fact that Reencarnacion, Odinsson, and Covington III are twenty times the players that anyone on Quebec can offer from a purely member stand point. Boom has success even to spite himself, Yeah is the master of goalie sacks, not that he would need them as we'll see later with the goalie comparison, and Convington III is probably one of the best trash talkers in league history. Then you add depth players like Jarvi, Muller and Maverick, and what you get is the most intimidating group of forwards in All Star history. As @gorlab would say, the entire forward group of Team Kendrick is about to catch a fade. Defenders Team Devise Jeff Hamilton @sterling Black Velvet @Higgins Shayne Gow @flyersfan1493 Biggu Kyanon @tfong Team Kendrick Phil Hamilton @Phil Francis York Morgan @Christmas David Hamilton @Knight Bubba Nuck @NUCK Analysis: Kendrick attempted to have a Hamilton brother reunion with his draft pick, but of course was stopped when I drafted the best Hamilton brother in Jeff. I mean we all know that Phil is probably one of the most legendary members of all time, and not being able to pick him up as well is regretting. However he is a one man army trying to carry what is essentially a group of inactive wannabes. Morgan is enjoying success due to the current status of defenders in the VHL and Knight logs in only several more times than @Jericho per calendar year. Meanwhile I pretty much ensured this entire thing would be rigged in our favor with my picks. Flyers, Higgins and Sterling were all at one point, or are currently admins in the league. If that isn't further enough, the "depth" defender that we ended up with in Kyanon can accidentally sneeze and create a Hall of Fame caliber player. Considering the closeness of the forward crop, the lack of what I would call a complete defense is going to cost Team Kendrick dearly, and it's basically going to lead to tons of shots on goal. But going further to push this over the edge, Team Devise has employed @Advantage player agencies legendary defender Ryan Sullivan as defensive coach. Can you say unstoppable? Goalies Team Devise Hans Wingate @CowboyinAmerica Greg Clegane @Victor Sandro Clegane @JardyB10 Team Kendrick Ariel Weinstein @Smarch Dmitri Dadonov @Daniel Artom Zhumbayev @fever95 Analysis: Can you say landslide? Like seriously, this is basically the equivalent of pairing Team Canada in the Olympics against Team Middleoffuckingnowhere Africa. Kendrick opted to stick with loyalty, drafting his Cologne goalie teammate and generally solid member in Fever, but his effort has been a bit less this time around. The same could be said for budding new GM in Daniel, who despite being a solid GM is still working on finding consistency. Weinstein isn't bad, he's probably a top 4 goalie in the VHL. Meanwhile I drafted all Shaw winners. Wingod is the best goalie in the league bar none. Then I was able to get both Cleganes, who on top of previous Shaw wins while competing with Wingod, are also former part of the continued admin/sim trend that I maintained. Whether it's rigging, talent, award wins, the list goes on and on and on. If Team Kendrick played three periods and scored 0 goals against this goalie trio nobody would blink an eye. Rumor is Weinstein isn't even showing up either, seeing how overmatched he is in this contest and he's going to send a body double in played by former long time VHL member @Squinty Final Analysis: Well if we are going to predict a final score for this game, and we have to be realistic here, I'd say 15-1 is probably reasonable. With back to back shutouts by both Wingod and Greg Clegane, Sandro is going to get distracted drinking ale and eating fucking chicken, just briefly enough to allow Phil Hamilton and Koponen to hook up for one goal. Meanwhile Edwin and Convington III will combine for 6 goals a piece, with Odinnsson scoring 3 of his own. It'll be a bloodbath, fitting for a Rio crowd ready to explode. The end of the event should feature an insane amount of partying and celebration on one side, with relative and mild shame on the other. Most will forget about it though, after all they were drafted to Team Kendrick, so expecting to lose is something they had going in. See you all in the stands for what should be an interesting affair. DollarAndADream 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Baozi 1,658 Posted August 21, 2016 Moderator Share Posted August 21, 2016 Ha choo! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FacePuncher 1,343 Posted August 21, 2016 Share Posted August 21, 2016 Fever confirmed is inactive and not returning Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kesler 1,514 Posted August 21, 2016 Share Posted August 21, 2016 where was the draft Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BluObieZ 1,125 Posted August 21, 2016 Share Posted August 21, 2016 Will be fun to see SWC3 beast it up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheLastOlympian07 2,388 Posted August 21, 2016 Share Posted August 21, 2016 43 minutes ago, KingRobbie said: Will be fun to see SWC3 beast it up SWC3 & Muller >> BluObieZ 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BluObieZ 1,125 Posted August 21, 2016 Share Posted August 21, 2016 They should sign with the same team in the offseason Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Da Trifecta 1,896 Posted August 21, 2016 Share Posted August 21, 2016 The all-star game is always something fun and exciting to watch. Unfortunately I am going to have to go to Kendrick's team as being better for some reason I don't know. I can see the young goalie vs old goalie battle being something fun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kendrick 4,741 Posted August 21, 2016 Share Posted August 21, 2016 Regarding the Defenders, not really my fault Draper handed you a an all-star calibre when I get a semi-inactive haha Devise 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kendrick 4,741 Posted August 22, 2016 Share Posted August 22, 2016 Claimed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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