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Moncton, New Brunswick- In the small town of Moncton NB, Canada, Prauge Phantoms forward Alex Pearson sits alone at home, while his wife works on the front lines of the pandemic as a nurse, He’s worked out, taken up hobbies, learned how to played guitar and greened himself out more than once, but after a tough round one loss to the Riga Reign, the Phantoms Forward has been finding it hard to stay entertained, so He decided to rank his top 10 Favourite hotpockets...For some reason...

 

 

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Review: I’m not even sure 10 hotpockets exist, so I’m putting this one last, cuz it’s gross. If you eat these for pleasure I’m also gonna assume your hate dogs and children, you sicko. The way the microwaved uncooked ham smells with the rank cheddar and flakey bun I can never get past the first bite. My Step mom bought these by accident and I tried to eat them to be polite but I couldn’t do it and snuck them outside and threw them in the woods and I think they killed a raccoon.


 

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Review: For all you music lovers out there! I’m sure it’ll taste familiar! I’m not a percussion player myself but I love to smack around the ol’ triangle when I get bored. Not a personal favourite of mine but I’m sure some of you are just itching to try it.

 

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Review:  This is actually a limited time flavour! It’s pretty good, the needles add a little pinch and crunch and the bees add that honey flavour and that yummy buzzing sound. If you microwave them for 3:30 instead of 2:30 it actually crisps the dough and bees a little longer and it’s delicious. Try it sometime!

 

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Review: Fuck sakes I forgot my lunch again I guess I have no pockets, haha. I told that one around the water cooler for a year at my first job trying to make first, and lost 10 pounds because I actually stopped bringing hotpockets everyday for lunch, so win/win.

 

 

6.

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Review: it’s nothing special, but if you enjoy corn, you’ll enjoy this country classic. Just good old corn. Who doesn’t like corn? I mean i prefer mine on the cob but I’ll just as well eat it in a soft tender biscuit. It can be eaten at any time of day too, Breakfast, Lunch, Supper, Midnight snack it’s all good! 
 

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Review: For when you just need to get away, Take one bite and everyone forgets about you in a second and you can float around the darkness realms for all eternity, and when you wanna leave just use the back door!  Also the crispy butteryness is delicious, makes it just slide down my gullet.

 

4.

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Review: These are one of my favourite pregame snacks, Just pop one in the microwave and you have a nice warm roll to eat before the game, sometimes I’ll put jam or butter on it, but most of the time, I just eat the bread, as it gives me all the nutrients I need, and I’m severely superstitious, and I’ve eaten some type of bread everyday before games since I was 17.
 

3.

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Review: Remember when the tide pod craze was going on in like 2017? Hahaha good times, just reminds me why the planet is doomed. @BladeMaiden Actually suggested this one so I should thank her for the terrific idea. Isn’t the president endorsing this type of stuff now? I wanna see trump eat a tide pod hot pocket to fight disease. I’m gonna start a petition.

 


 

So I reached my total photo size for this article, so I’m gonna write a grand finally and do a poll to find out, who is the number one pizza pocket. So stay tuned to find out!

Edited by Jayrad28
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1 minute ago, diamond_ace said:

The pizza ones and the meatballs/mozzarella ones are the only good ones

 

Pepperoni Pizza Hot Pockets will give you a favorable view of Hot Pockets if they're the only ones you eat. 

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Also now that I remembered they exist on occasion, the chicken and white garlic sauce ones aren't terrible, they're kind of like a white pizza. Worse than the other two though

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