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Groovy Dood's Draft Day Adventure

bigAL

By bigAL
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bigAL

bigAL 2,176

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Groovy Dood’s Wild Draft Night

Groovy Dood was beaming as he pulled his brand new Minnesota Storm jersey over top of his Miami Marauders hoodie. Dood knew how big of a deal it was to be drafted to the State of Hockey, but he was having a hard time enjoying it.

Groovy Dood was a lifelong Miami Marauders fan. As long as he knew about the VHL, Dood was fascinated with the Miami Marauders. The first VHL logo he saw was the majestic skeleton captain, decked out its menacing black and red pirate hat. “It’s just so damn cool,” he was quoted as saying at the time. “The captain is a skeleton, but ALSO a pirate! How cool is that??” Groovy Dood didn’t know anything about the VHL; he didn’t know there was a VHL and VHLM, he didn’t know about conferences or expansion, and he couldn’t separate the good teams from the bad. He had just clicked on a reddit recruitment page, poked around the forums, saw the expansion hype, and he was in. Groovy Dood was finally graduating from the Northern Ontario Bushwhackin Hockey League to the VHLM, and he was going to be a Miami Marauders fan.  

The next two weeks were a whirlwind for Groovy Dood. He and his bag full of equipment got dropped off at VHL headquarters by an Uber one day, and he was back on a plane flying to Halifax later that afternoon. Dood skated in six games for the 21st in S71: two regular season matches and an unmemorable sweep at the hands of the eventual champions, the Ottawa Lynx. Groovy was held to one assist and four hits, and was thoroughly underwhelming to the S72 scouts watching the playoffs. He explained that those six games were a training camp for him, and that he would come back bigger and stronger for next year. The fans back home had to wait until May 18th to find out how the VHLM GMs valued his abilities.

The offseason went by like a Rocky montage. Groovy Dood did all the right things: punching meat, drinking raw eggs, steroids. Pick things up, put things down. Run here, then run there. Triumphant finale atop the stairs at the River Valley in Edmonton. Epic.

Throughout his training season, Groovy Dood kept an eye and an ear on the affairs of the VHL. He learned that Miami was the newest VHLM franchise, so there was a chance of playing there next season. He also learned it was an expansion team, and that no one had ever put on those beautiful uniforms he fell in love with all those days ago. The last piece of juicy intel Dood was able to sniff out was that Miami’s GM, Krice, was in the market for a new best friend. Groovy sent in his application, was obviously selected, and went to sleep the night before the draft confident that he was going to wear the brand-new black and red Marauders uniform the next day.

However, in the middle of the night, a bad thing happened. Groovy Dood got up to go pee, and he ended up at the ice machine somehow. After finishing his business, Groovy eyed a blue duotang poking out from underneath the vending machine. He picked it up and looked at the front – CONFIDENTIAL – before gasping, recoiling, and throwing the book back on the ground. Someone very important must have dropped this top-secret book by accident. He didn’t want to get caught breaking any laws the night before his big VHLM draft. Groovy peeked through his fingers to look at the papers again, and made out a signature in the corner of the cover: Rayzor.

Groovy Dood started to put the pieces together. He didn’t know many people around the VHL, but he knew Rayzor was the hotshot GM of the Minnesota Storm, and that he was the celebrity host of the draft that night. The notes had to be something draft related, some pretty valuable intellectual property, and something that a lot of powerful people in the league might want to get their hands on. Groovy Dood normally wouldn’t have swiped that intel, but he really looked good in red and black, and really loved the scar across the badass pirate skeleton’s eye. This duotang was his key to getting drafted to the Marauders.

As soon as it was socially acceptable, Groovy texted his new BFF MIA GM Krice. “Check your mailbox. See u in Miami - :v:” He turned his phone on quiet and began to prepare for the draft. Groovy spent hours swapping between a black dress shirt with a red tie, or a red dress shirt with a black tie. He put pirate hat after pirate hat onto his thick head, searching for the one that would frame his jawline the best. Groovy looked at his “Edwing” parrot, considered putting it on his shoulder, but thought that might be a bit much.

Soon enough, it was time. Groovy Dood ordered an UberX to roll up to the draft in style. He posed on the red carpet with his black and red suit and his pirate hats, but refused to comment about his expectations for the evening. Groovy knew that only first round picks physically go to the draft, and that Miami didn’t pick until the late second round, but he still went to the event anyways. Groovy Dood was so damn excited to become a Miami Marauder.

His plan was perfect. Since he had a rough start to his career last season, he had little chance of being taken in the first 30 picks. Around pick 30, once all the known-commodities are picked, BFF MIA GM KR would get up to the mic, hold up his end of the quid pro quo, and announce the newest Miami Marauder: “Grooooooovy Dooooooooooood!”

The plan was perfect. Except… Groovy hadn’t heard from his best friend all day. He chalked it up to draft day business and didn’t bother Ricer much. It wasn’t reassuring that Krice hadn’t texted him back after getting the package. The GM would have been pumped to acquire the draft guru’s top secret duotang, and he would be so grateful that he’ll draft Groovy ahead of his projected spot, but as time dragged on, Groovy got more nervous.

Still, the plan was perfect. Except… Groovy was starting to fear that he might actually get taken earlier than 30. There had been one other GM calling and asking for an interview. Groovy wanted to keep up the façade, and he liked being wined and dined, so he took the meeting with Minnesota GM Rayzor. “I wonder what that lil duotang of his said about me, anyways,” he thought aloud with a chuckle. All he could do at this point was cross his fingers and hope for the best.

The first round went as per the script. The best players were picked first, a few were taken too early, a few were taken too late. Dreams were made and dreams were shattered. It was just the usual draft day roller coaster.

By the second round, Groovy was getting tense. He started to see comparable players begin to go off the board. He was seated in the back section with the other draftees who didn’t know anyone else there. Groovy made friends with a guy named Wolf Stansson, and they had a lot in common. Both were brand new, around the similar skill level, and were projected to be drafted near each other. They hung out and made small talk, but the conversation kept circling back to the Miami Marauders and Groovy Dood gushing over their “sweet-ass” jerseys. Wolf thought they were fine kits, but nothing special. Groovy Dood played nice, but fumed on the inside.

What Groovy Dood wasn’t hearing was the broadcast audio. Rayzor was hosting the draft show again, but, for the first time ever, doing so without his drafting playbook. He didn’t tell anyone about the missing duotang, but he was keeping a sharp eye out for the other managers. Miami drew special attention to his analytic eye. Krice didn’t have a pick until 23, and so the scouting community expected Miami to pick T.T. Trivium, the lanky defenseman. Instead, the new franchise reached for Andre LeBastard, who had 40 TPE less than the picks made immediately before and after him. Rayzor had marked LeBastard as a mid-round priority target, but here Krice was picking him with his first choice.

The suspicious picks continued. Miami selected Kosmo Kramerev with the 26th selection – ahead of R.K. Gee, who had 50 more TPE than Kramerev. Of course, Kramerev was on Rayzor’s radar as the guy who makes the great Seinfeld works, but the expectation was that he’d be available in the third round. Miami drafting him a round early was plausible, but suspicious nonetheless.   

Meanwhile, the draft number clicked higher and hire. 24. 25. Wolf started to sweat; he wanted to be drafted in the 20s. 26. 27. Groovy’s legs start shaking, thinking and hoping that MIA’s 29th pick could be his magic number.

“With the 28th pick in the VHLM draft, the Minnesota Storm pick Groovy Dood!” The crowd erupted, but Groovy was speechless. He was in a daze as he made his way to the podium to get his new jersey. He smiled for the camera, but the colours of his sweater made him sad inside. He gave the right soundbites – “it’s an honour to play in the State of Hockey”, “can’t wait to do a Storm Surge after a big Cup win”, “yeah I definitely love cold, dark, and snowy winters” – but his heart wasn’t in it.

As he slunk off the stage, Groovy Dood shot one last look back at Rayzor. The Minnesota GM gave a knowing wink, and Groovy’s stomach sunk. Krice slammed his draft table, ripped up some paper, and walked up to the podium. With the 29th pick, a nervous and trembling Krice announces the newest Miami Marauder: Wolf Stansson. Groovy Dood took off his pirate hat and begrudgingly handed it to Wolf as the two passed in the aisle. Wolf smugly snatched the hat out of Groovy’s hand, and gave it a twirl as he skipped to the stage.

By the end of the draft, Groovy Dood has a new VHLM team to play for, and it isn’t his favourite jersey. He has a new GM, and it’s not his best friend. He has a guilty conscious, and a fear that the missing draft duotang might lead to some more trouble. And, most terrifying, Groovy Dood had a league rival: Wolf Stansson.

After the draft, Groovy Dood disappeared and his agent fielded questions from the media:

“Groovy Dood loves to play hockey, and has been able to compartmentalize his off-ice drama in a way that prevent on-ice issues. Groovy remains committed to giving 110% for the Minnesota Storm, he’ll get pucks in deep, and make sure to roll four lines. He’ll keep racking up the TPE on a track to the VHL. The Minnesota Storm got a good one – give him some time to grieve the loss of Miami and he’ll come around to living in Minnesota. We both know how passionate the fans are in the State of Hockey and how important hockey is to all citizens of the great state of Minnesota. I’ve watched Groovy fall on the floor laughing at the word “Minnetonka”. He’s almost perfected his Minnesotan accent too. He’s going to love it here, and you’re going to love him once he’s comfortable enough to show his personality. ”

But the question marks remained. Will Groovy escape the repercussions of his failed draft-day debacle? And how will he handle the crushing disappointment of having his life long dream team be so so close, but fall just out of his grasp? Will he report to Minnesota, or Lindros away his rookie season?

We’ll find out in Season 72 of the VHLM… or will we?

word count: 2000 on the nose

Edited by bigAL
formatting and adding ~70 words
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Zetterberg

Zetterberg 863

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6 hours ago, bigAL said:

Groovy Dood was a lifelong Miami Marauders fan.

Dood must be a time traveller it’s only Miami’s first season 

bigAL

bigAL 2,176

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9 hours ago, Zetterberg said:

Dood must be a time traveller it’s only Miami’s first season 

I mean, he was created literally one month ago. In the canon though, he's been a Miami fan as long as he's known about the VHL ;)

bigAL

bigAL 2,176

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9 hours ago, Ricer13 said:

This is absolute gold! Please write me stories like this every month. I must know what happens next in the stories of Groovy Dood!

yes GM sir boss sir, I can certainly do that. I can't wait for the first MIA-MIN game!

bigAL

bigAL 2,176

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15 hours ago, ahockeyguy said:

Dude great stuff! Proud to be your VHLM "rival" haha. Stansson for life!

hahaha I thought it was so great that we met draft night. We're so similar we could've been best friends, but instead now we're arch enemies. I'm coming back for my pirate hat WOLF!

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