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The Importance of Being Still


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The Importance of Being Still




Do you ever find yourself coming to the end of your day and being so mentally, physically, or even spiritually exhausted that you have a hard time recalling what you did that whole day? Or, maybe you are involved with something in the present yet your mind wanders to a haunting decision you made in the past, or to a future situation that may come.


Many of us will often find ourselves being depleted throughout the day without ever taking a moment to simply breath. We collapse on our beds feeling empty and as though we are nothing. Our stresses, responsibilities, goals, and struggles surround us, push in, and seem to strangle us over time. 


All of this comes together with our constant need to be busy. If we aren't working or being "productive" then we are told that we are lazy or unmotivated. So, we take on more and more, constantly think about what can be done next, and regret the things that we didn't do right or fully the first time. This mindset, this constant movement, it never allows us to fully live into the moment here and now.


I remember this happening on my wedding day. The entire day started off by focusing on what still needed to be done, getting dressed, and getting to the venue on time. Then, the worry was about making sure the sound system was working right, the food was coming on time, and that I looked decent for pictures. Then, from that point on, the day is a blur. Had it not been for our pictures I probably wouldn't remember who was there, what anybody looked like, or even the people I talked to. At the end of the day I remember talking to my wife and saying, "It's surreal. I hardly remember what happened today. It's like I went to bed last night, woke up this morning, and now we're married."


During that whole day I never really stopped to be still, to think about what was happening, or enjoy the beauty that is my wife accepting to be what she is now...my wife!


If any of you are like me you are constantly on the go, constantly doing, constantly thinking. Well, I'm here to tell you that it's okay to take a moment, a day, a week...and be still. 


What I mean by this isn't that you have stand in place and do nothing for hours on end, but maybe that's what you need. For me, being still means taking away all distractions and just being in the moment. I often find my still-ness when I am on a hike. As a photographer and someone who likes to bird watch even hiking can be stress inducing and chaotic. If a hike is to be a moment of still-ness for me I need to leave my binoculars, camera, and bird books at home. I can't listen to music, or be with anyone else. I need that solitude, that isolation from everything and everyone outside of the forest. When I have it the stress of the world seems to vanish. I don't think about the regrets of my past nor the possibilities of the future. I listen to the water of the stream, the leaves in the trees, the noises of the wild around me. I take in the smell of a fresh dew and the maple and pine trees around me. I feel the cool air on my skin and the trail under my feet. I see the trail before me and the vegetation and wild around me. Here, I'm in the moment, and no where else. I'm not worried about a past decision biting me in the butt, nor am I concerned about something I have to get done.


If we are constantly bothered by our past and worried about our future then we'll never truly experience the here and now.


So, what does still-ness look like for you? Where do you go, or what do you do to help you decompress, find peace, and just take a moment to breath and let the weight and stress of the world fall off?

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12 minutes ago, Ricer13 said:

I always worry about things that might happen in the future. Most days I live with that anxiety. My stillness is when I put my phone down and spend time with my kids. 

Same. I have pretty bad anxiety at times. You just have to try to think of the happy things, like your kids. 

Edited by dariusmarimotoman
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I too often worry about the future but it’s situational things I think.. mostly surrounding social events!  I’m very social - kind, polite, funny, and can even be crazy and outgoing when out and about with people I like and am comfortable with.. it’s mostly, as an example, with my girlfriends peers or obviously people I’m not comfortable with.. Not as much the family as all but her one sister are awesome, but her friends etc.. weddings, gatherings. I’d rather not.. It’s kind of weird how it developed and who knows why. I just fear the awkwardness? Looking stupid? Not fitting in or being liked? I know how foolish that is, lol! Never used to be this way growing up so it’s a bit weird? I think it leaves me exhausted and living for the wrong moments and things - also holds me back sometimes from enjoying the good moments.. often! Very, very often lol! 


Another thing I think is my job.. I’m good at what I do.. I do know a bit but have only been in the role a year and a 5 months? I have A LOT to learn still and there’s a lot I don’t know..  Been with the company for almost 6 years.. lots can go wrong and not just a small bit.. a minor measurement of say an 1/8” out can mean somebodies life, the environment, the companies well-being etc.. very catastrophic events... very costly events and the cost could be many things.. i think also a bit of perfectionism.. always doing good, not issues or BS, never missing a phone call.. all of this can really drive you nuts when you work 10 days straight and are on call 24 hours a day.. I don’t LOVE my job.. never once growing up did I think I’d be doing what I am now - but it’s a job? It pays well and the perks are also good.. Unless it was absolutely 100% what I wanted, I’d never really enjoy it lol... it’s work. I want to be fishing or hiking! My days off are my greatest treasure because my days on can be mentally rough.. Especially when you combine it with the above things and probably more that I’m already worrying multiple times daily about certain things that are in the near or distant future! 

As I’ve grown up, I’ve been less fearful of speaking openly about this stuff. I guess it helps that I try and be an honest person, lol. I’ve also caught moments say at work.. where we’re all bull shitting about something and someone mentions they have crazy anxiety and avoid shit too.. and you never would of guessed it.. so while it sucks that other people struggle too with things, it almost just corrects your way of negative thinking, or makes the weight a small bit less, knowing that normal looking people who seem to have their shit together - don’t, lol. I don’t know how to explain it but I think that was okay!..  It is a portion of why I quit smoking the devils lettuce (since sept 23) and cigarettes (64 days ago today I believe)... my diet has slightly improved and do put in effort to limit refined sugar or caffeine and eventually I want to start exercising and working out. I would imagine those things would help greatly. I just need to power through the exhaustion and eventually I think the motivation will come - similar to quitting smoking. 

Add a pandemic, normal day to day wear and tear and my girlfriend having had cancer and fuck.. what a life it’s been lately. Some days a living fucking nightmare haha 😂 Anyway, decent post. It’s a change in the VHL that has been more and more lately. It’s important because we are a great community full of so many diverse but good people..  I might not like you, you might not like me (not you thad, just in general), but we’re people who go through shit, good and bad, and deserve to all be happy and treated with kindness and respect. It’s easy to be lost in things on here sometimes or even in life.. It’s the internet.. tone and meaning can and usually are assumed incorrectly often.. Always give people the chance to speak and for you the chance to listen and understand.. we’re all here to enjoy the league and the many things it has to offer us!

Rant, or whatever the hell it is, over. Best wishes VHL! Enjoy the days ;) 


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For me it’s the phone. I’m notorious for pulling out my phone any spare second I’m not doing something. Even scrolling at the urinal because I need something to do with my hands. Putting down my phone and just being is so helpful and important. Mindfulness is being still and noticing what’s going on in your mind, body, and spirit. You have to be quiet in order to hear.  

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So my big problem is school and tech, I’m always on this iPad of mine, I still get all As, but still, not a good habit, especially if I wanna stay as fit as I currently am. So, mostly my still-ness is one of a few things.


1. Playing Wii Sports.

2. Reading.

3. Putting a heat pad on my back and relaxing.

4. Petting my cat.

5. Playing soccer.


There you have it.

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