The Moscow Menace's Race Across Northern North America

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                   At first, they didn't know what they were going to do with their days off, but they started off by visiting Madison Square Garden to watch a big concert, featuring names like Imagine Dragons, Taylor Swift, and Dream for some reason. Little did they know Dream's song would be a foreshadowing for what they were going to do in the next 2 weeks. And seeing as the 4 people at the Garden; Newhook, Angellini, Lahtinen and Letang, are all international hockey stars, they got noticed. And not in a good way. A bunch of angry New York Americans fans chased them out of the Garden and into their car, fortunately missing out of the Parry Gripp part of the concert. They were followed for a good ten minutes and unfortunately ended up in New Jersey. They quickly drove back across the border and went back to their hotel. They talked it over and checked with @Victor Alfredsson, their GM, if they could go on a trip across the U.S. He approved, and said that everyone was going to go as a team bonding experience. At a team meeting that night, the whole team went over how they were going to do the trip. At the end, they all decided on a race from New York City to the West Coast. The teams: Newhook, Angellini, Lahtinen and Letang; Palloon, Rice, Jones and Tonn; Olson, Davis, Schwarz, and Ladrian. Newhook's team was going north, through Canada, hitting Vancouver, and ending in Portland. Palloon's team was going through the Midwest, with major points of interest being Yellowstone, St. Louis, and Denver, and finally, Olson's team heading down to the Deep South and across Texas, New Mexico and Arizona. They left the next morning, being chased by more Americans fans, then renting big camper vans outside of LaGaurdia. 

                   And they are off! Speeding down the freeway at the highest possible speed that they won't get detected by the police, all taking different highways away from the city. Angellini, Rice, and Ladrian took the first shift of the driving. Everything went off pretty hitch-free until Kris Rice was pulled over by Pennsylvania police for running a red light. he was stopped for about 20 minutes, giving the others a lead. Then, Angellini fell asleep at the wheel temporarily and almost drove off a cliff in the Adirondack Mountains. Ladrian was the next victim of unluckiness, after stopping at a gas station bathroom in the middle of Nowhere, West Virginia for everyone to take a dump, to be greeted by closed bathrooms. And a weird lady who was blocking the entrance to their camper van, holding a sign that went; " THE END IS NYE" They were not sure if she meant the world would end by Bill Nye, or if she was clueless about how to spell nigh. And then she tried to sell them potions that were quite clearly drugs. They left pretty quickly afterwards, but were still plagued by potty problems. Everything went pretty smoothly for a long while, about Yellowstone, actually. A herd of buffalo walked across the road in front of the driving Jones, watching a few bowl over tourists who were poking the buffalos in the eyes. It took a good 45 minutes for the buffalo to be cleared away, and an ambulance to show up, which greatly hurt their time. Ryan Schwarz, who was driving, just straight up drove into a Walmart. Lahtinen was a fast driver, maybe too fast, as he was the second person to get pulled over that trip. At least he was apoogized to a lot by the Canadian police officers. Going into the last 100 miles, the teams were neck and neck. Newhook, Jones, and Davis were driving, and none of them were completely sane at this point. They were all on a three way facetime, and were delirious. They were all nearing their respective cities, and were driving according to the speed limit in those cities in order not to get pulled over at the end. The third team got stuck in L.A. traffic, and the second team got stuck on the Golden Gate Bridge, Which only left Newhook to completely forget what he was doing and drive into the Willamette river in the middle of Downtown Portland.

        And there you have it folks, why you should never do a three way race across The U.S. and Canada. 

(734 Words) 

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