JardyB10 4,834 Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 On August 3rd, 2015, at 10:45pm league boss Jardy Bunclewirth purchased this space for an obituary/eugoogly for his famed "Simtop." The Simtop is Jardy's old HP laptop in which he governs the schedule and play of all VHL games. He has used this laptop since he took over simming five odd years ago. Two days ago, however, he was certain it was dead. "I had gone to the farm to visit my family for the long weekend," Jardy explained. "I had to sleep in the basement, which was absurdly humid to the point that everything made of fabric felt somewhat damp. I carried out my simming duties in this environment. Everything was peachy the entire weekend." However, after leaving the farm back to his Saskatoon, SK residence, the laptop did some unprecedented fuckery. "When I got back to the city Monday night, I immediately pulled out the laptop to perform my daily sim. However, after opening the folder STHS is in, my computer did a complete freeze, which is surprisingly uncommon. So I turned it on and off again, but when it "powered back on," the screen was completely black. The power button was on, but the light for the WiFi button was glowing indicating it was turned off, which was sort of odd. However the MOST strange thing was that the CAPS LOCK light was blinking on and off. Forever. I rebooted the laptop numerous times, and it kept returning to this state. I immediately assumed this was HP's way of saying, 'Sorry buddy, but I'm completely fucked.' So I pronounced it dead to the Commissioners and took out this ad space." Working late Tuesday, Bunclewirth didn't have time to investigate the cause of death or begin the transition of his main laptop as his work laptop. However, when he began to do so tonight, his old HP turned on just fine and has been behaving like nothing was wrong since. "I'm no tech expert (techspert), but I'm assuming what I thought was a black screen of death was actually a black screen of 'fuck me I'm drowning' due it collecting moisture in the basement all weekend. Perhaps removing it and having it in a normal environment for a couple days helped. Or maybe it's just still fucked and does what it wants. Either way, I'm going to continue to use it until it completely dies for real." Bunclewirth will relieve commie Draper and resume his main duties effective immediately. For vhl.com, I'm Patrick Palmer. Victor and Corco 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fire Tortorella 2,653 Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 Press "F" to pay respects. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boubabi 4,725 Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 u should sim tonight as a reward Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JardyB10 4,834 Posted August 6, 2015 Author Share Posted August 6, 2015 Raper swam this afternoon already you wanker Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boubabi 4,725 Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 (edited) Well, technically, he didn't completely compensated with the missing day. Edited August 6, 2015 by boubabi Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JardyB10 4,834 Posted August 6, 2015 Author Share Posted August 6, 2015 He swam twice yesterday? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boubabi 4,725 Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 (edited) yes, but only 5 games by that, I mean he only simmed 5 games in one of his sim. Edited August 6, 2015 by boubabi Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike 708 Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 Jardy got too much love juice on his keyboard from flute girl took a few days to try out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JardyB10 4,834 Posted August 6, 2015 Author Share Posted August 6, 2015 yes, but only 5 games by that, I mean he only simmed 5 games in one of his sim. Yeah, but he did 7 in the other one, which averages out to 6 each, which meets my minimum requirement. Although we are a game behind schedule of the VHLM now. But I'm assuming that'll work itself out when I 10 out the season. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Advantage 2,777 Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 Those needing a goalie celebrate:cheers: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Admin Will 4,607 Posted August 6, 2015 Senior Admin Share Posted August 6, 2015 Damn I guess my coup d'etat failed with the revival of the simtop...perhaps a trojan next time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Higgins 3,617 Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 Damn I guess my coup d'etat failed with the revival of the simtop...perhaps a trojan next time JardyB10 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Admin Will 4,607 Posted August 6, 2015 Senior Admin Share Posted August 6, 2015 Not for long Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Higgins 3,617 Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 Y'all need Jesus Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admin Victor 10,563 Posted August 6, 2015 Admin Share Posted August 6, 2015 I chuckled at some parts, good stuff. Also my laptop aged 7 is still usable (even though I haven't since its 6th birthday at least) so I believe you have many more years to whore out of this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JardyB10 4,834 Posted August 6, 2015 Author Share Posted August 6, 2015 I doubt it. I don't think the fan works on it anymore. And the hard drive once died for literally no reason like, 3 years ago, so I don't see any reason for literally everything else to do the same. Eventually. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admin Victor 10,563 Posted August 6, 2015 Admin Share Posted August 6, 2015 Oh yeah the fan's gone. You just kind of hang it off your lap or desk (depending on preference and mood) and let the air circulate that way. And don't watch videos. Including porn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Admin Will 4,607 Posted August 6, 2015 Senior Admin Share Posted August 6, 2015 I doubt it. I don't think the fan works on it anymore. And the hard drive once died for literally no reason like, 3 years ago, so I don't see any reason for literally everything else to do the same. Eventually. Didn't you once say it takes like 3 mins to load the league file lol? It's like <30 seconds for me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOOM 8,435 Posted August 7, 2015 Share Posted August 7, 2015 The VHL Hedgefund should spring for a replacement. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Admin Will 4,607 Posted August 7, 2015 Senior Admin Share Posted August 7, 2015 The VHL Hedgefund should spring for a replacement. That fund is for commish's not admins sorry jard Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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