John Scott

Content: 2/3 A little on the shorter side here. Try to get the word count up closer to 500 if you want to get full marks. I want a bacon wrapped hot dog.
Grammar: 2/2 Only one thing really that I noticed
Presentation: 1/1
 
Grade: 5/6
 
badass - bad ass

Content 2/3 - That was an incredible read that was completely unexpected, but as DT pointed out, it's a little on the shorter side. You should at least make sure to hit the 450 requirement, and more preferably 500 with your media spots. You have a knack for interesting reads though, so I look forward to more!
 
Grammar 2/2 - DT caught the one thing I might've called.
 
Appearance 1/1 - Bryzie on drugs makes this a easy point.
 
Final 5/6

Swimming in Regina 
 
Written by Stabby McFullO'Schmidt
 
I have gotten a lot of questions about where I am right now. What my goals are. Where I see myself going. It is a question that I've lost sight of myself. The only answer I have found in all of this mess is that the more things change, the more they stay the same. 
 
Brain injuries are a terrible, terrible thing. After losing a season on the ice due to a coma, I found myself again in serious trouble when I dived headfirst into a shallow lake when celebrating Canada Day in Regina. Granted, the two are completely unrelated, but it sucks that these terrible things always happen to Stabby! The only answer I have found in all of this mess is that when life hits you hard, it hits you fast. 
 

 
I still cannot point to Brampton on a map. Now I play for Saskatoon. Where is Saskatoon? Maps are confusing, confusing things. Which way do I turn this thing? How big could Canada be? The only answer I have found in all of this mess is that an atlas can only get you so far. 
Do you know that 7-11 now serves hot dogs wrapped in bacon? That's the most badass thing I have ever heard of! It's so great to live in a world where I can put bacon on whatever I want. Do you think cavemen ever ate bacon? Hell no, they ate rocks or some shit. The only answer I have found in all of this mess is that if you are not going to go big, then why did you leave home in the first place? 
 

 
Mirrors are tricky, huh? The only answer I have found in all of this mess is that when you stare into a reflection, sometimes it stares back into you. 
 
I play ice hockey. Ice hockey is fun because you get to skate around rinks and hit passersby. I like to play ice hockey because I like to hit people, but mostly because I do not like other people hitting me. Coincidence? I think not. The only answer I have found in all of this mess is that sometimes, your biggest enemy is yourself.
 

 
So hockey ice season start soon? Where do I play? When will Calgary call up Stabby? I score a lot of goals and I block many shots. I can't wait to score the touchdowns. Stabby is ready for ice time again.
 

4-1 Wild

I GOT THE OT GOAL AGAINST BRATS.
 
 
 

Right there with ya.
 
Let's win the cup. 

VHLM This Week (05-10-2015/05-17-2015)


VHLM Extra TPE

The VHL runs a fantasy zone roughly once a week. VHLM players are entitled to both the VHLM Fantasy Zone as well as the VHL Fantasy Zone. In the predict the score fantasy zone, you will need to try your hand at guessing the final score in a certain VHL and VHLM game for 3 TPE. The other fantasy zone is a pick-em game where you pick the winners out of four match-ups. You must guess all four right for 1 TPE.

The Player store is still open for the season for those who have contract money in their bank. Players can purchase upgrades for your current player, or can pay their way to a feature spot in the VHL magazine.

Also don't forget to post in the VHLM Practise Facility to recieve the easiest 1 TPE you'll ever receive from the league. The thread is usually open at the beginning of the week and closed at 11:59 Sunday night.

Job Postings

A great way to get your name spread across the league as well as a quick way to earn extra TPE is to apply for jobs as they open around the league. Right now jobs are a bit sparse but the league is looking for a position to be filled making player cards for player pages. The league is also looking for someone to write a few HOF articles. HOF articles receive an automatic 6 when graded as a media spot. Although this may seem like a daunting task for new members, the league is currently looking for someone to write an article for Season thirty-nine inductee Remy LeBeau. Keep your eyes open in the job interviews for more jobs opening in the near future

Point Task Spotlight

Each week members around the league put a great amount of effort into articles regarding many different things around the league. Here is some of the media spots written by agents of VHLM players in the past week.

Alexander Davisdon journey so far in the VHL is chronicled in this article. This article gives great insight in the journey many VHLM players have experienced in their short time in the league

Brand new VHLM player Archie Wagner has caught the eyes of many around the league as ESPNS Skip Bayless touched upon his transition from basketball.

The Bratislava Watchmen made a splash in the VHLM trade market this past week, sending three prospects to Brampton in exchange for a VHLM journeyman. Le'Sean Coutzen was a bit surprised by the move and let his feeling known in a recent article.

A quick reminder for those who cannot submit a point task in a given week that the league offers a Welfare plan for those people. Take advantage of these TPE so your player continues to improve and not lose much ground to other prospects.

VHLM Games

The Brampton Blades have continued their dominance in the VHLM with a 5-1 win over the Oslo Storm. The Blades have now won 9 straight games and find themselves on the top of the league with only four losses in forty games.

The Bern Royals have been having a great year in the European conference in the VHLM, and they put together another good game against the Saskatoon Wild. The league leader in assists Tim TebowGow had another great game setting up his teammates, adding to his league leading assist total.

VHLM Alumni

E'Twan Delicious

The Brampton Blades alumni has had a great start to his VHL career since making the jump this season. Delicious leads all rookies in scoring with thirty-three points in thirty-three games this season. Delicious looks to be one of the early front runners for the Christian Stolzschweiger Trophy.

Blake Campbell

Another Blades alumni has been on fire in his limited time in net for Stockholm this season. Campbell has seen action in sixteen games this season posting a 12-1-1 record, to go along with .927 save percentage and a 1.38 goals against average. Campbell has made the Stockholm faithful feel great about the future in net.

VHLM Trivia (Please PM Your Answers to Jaladolar)ONLY OPEN TO VHLM PLAYERS

1. Where did Stockholm rookie defenseman Prince Gigga-Bijou play last season in the VHLM?

2. How many games in a row have the Blades won in a row according to this article?

3. What is the name of the trophy for the VHLMs top defenseman award?

Actually adding you three made it easier to beat Bern this game. Lines looking good.

I just post everywhere when im on

Content: 3/3 - Trade buddies hopefully we can win this year together, and it's good to see you on the site full time  

Grammar: 2/2 - Pretty good 
time and celebrating = time celebrating

Appearance: 1/1 - LOVE the gifs 

Overall: 6/6

STABBY TRADED
The VHLM Turned Upside-Down
by Dick Shivers
 


               At some point late last night, Stabby McFullO’Schmidt was traded from the Bratislava Watchmen to the Brampton Blades.
 
               “I have no idea what happened,” Stabby explained. “I was drinking, having a good time and celebrating the Watchmen win when I woke up in the Brampton Locker Room!” Stabby McFullO’Schmidt is currently unaware of the details of the deal, and this reporter cannot find any evidence of it on the VHLM website. Stabby took some time to explain how slighted he feels about how the decision was handled and his views on his time in Bratislava.
 

Little did he know, this would be the last time Stabby would be on the ice for the Bratislava Watchmen.
 
               “I understand how the league works, and that you have to do what is best for your team, but a quick phone call would have definitely been appreciated (from the new GM). I mean . . . I fought hard to get back on the ice and I feel like I have been improving, and the stats are there to prove it. Just feels like I got the short end of the stick from the team I came back to play for.”
 
               Stabby was quick to note that there’s no hard feelings between him and the rest of his teammates on the Watchmen roster, especially after the support they gave him after coming back from a near career ending coma and taking the ice within a matter of weeks.
 
               “Yeah, the guys, they have been great to me . . . I think I am going to miss playing with Chuck Goody the most. He has always been my biggest supporter and has really helped me bring my game to the next level. I wish all of them all the best of luck, but if we meet in the Cup finals, they are going to regret the decision to get rid of Stabby McFullO’Schmidt.”
 

This video of Stabby is the best evidence we have as to why they will regret it. 
 
               Stabby came alive for the Bratislava Watchmen this season, with 4 goals, 13 assists and 17 points in 32 games. His physical play has even gone up from the ungodly levels that we are used to seeing from the American blue-liner; with 72 hits and 28 penalty minutes to his name. All of this did not come from deficiencies in his own end, however, as Stabby has a +32 rating this season. Stabby has also taken on heavy ice time for the Watchmen, averaging 25:32 minutes per game and playing strong minutes on both the Power Play and the Penalty Kill.
 

Stabby Celebrating His First Goal as a member of the Brampton Blades
 
               “I have really enjoyed the short time I have spent in Brampton so far. It is nice to be closer to home . . . and the guys are really supportive and encouraging. I do not know what the motivation was for sending me here, but I think I will be glad in the end that I got the chance to play for this roster and help their cup run this year.”
 
               In closing, Stabby had this to say to the Watchmen.
 
               “I kind of understand why you did not run this by me before it happened . . . I was not given my nickname for nothing.” 
 

#69 STABBY McFullO'Schmidt
 
 
EDIT: We have located the trade. Stabby was part of a package deal for Travis Wilcox. Details below:
 
http://www.vhlforum.com/index.php?/topic/20128-s43-brp-brt/?p=218449

Already made the worst decision of the year.
 
#StabbyForMVP

Already made the worst decision of the year.
 
#StabbyForMVP

JOHN SCOTT
 
scored a goal

John Scott will like this post because it mentions John Scott?

John Scott's article featured TebowGow so it was nice indeed :3

Are we all just playmakers or balanced? Ik I'm building a playmaker. 
 
btw nice article John Scott

Content: 3/3 - To be fair, I think the "it" factor is slightly bogus. More shots = more star value seems invalid. I think that the "it" factor depends more on how he is able to make his team win. Point totals of his linemates vs. when they are with a different player.
 
​Regardless nice analysis 

Grammar: 2/2 - Please, no contractions such as we've, and such. Also helps with the word count
is - are 

Appearance: 1/1 - Love the gifs so much. Keep it up. 

Overall: 6/6

Great article and comparison, I love seeing myself mentioned :3
 
I do question "ith Teibert sharing the wealth a bit more than TebowGow, POINT TEIBERT." - as TebowGow has more assists then Teibert, unless you are referring to something else

Content: 5/5- Great Article. Cant wait to watch your player grow and become a huge part of the VHL. Keep up the good work. 
 
Grammar: 3/3 - Good Job. 
 
Presentation: 1/1 - Everything looks good on the presentation front.
 
Over 1000 Words? 1/1
 
Overall: 10/10

A NEW CHALLENGER APPROACHES
The Untold Story of Stabby McFullO’Schmidt
 
By Dick Shivers
 

 
               Stabby McFullO’Schmidt, the 6’8”, 240lb defenseman who is currently tearing through the ranks of the Victory minor league, has endured a long, winding road to make it to where he is today. I have had the chance to research Stabby’s strange upbringing to give you an exclusive look at his past, his present and his probable future. Let us take a look.
 
FROM HUMBLE BEGINNINGS
 

 
               Stabby McFullO’Schmidt’s player profile lists his hometown as Vatican City. Now, that should not be confused with the Catholic papal state located in the center of Rome, although many make that mistake. Stabby was born in a dumpster behind a New Hampshire 7-11 that shared a parking lot with “Vatican City XXX”; a nude gentleman’s club that employed former nuns who had left the Church to explore their exhibitionism.
 

 
               The ladies of Vatican City XXX, never fully being able to give up their compassion, gratuity and understanding they learned in the Church, took Stabby in and raised him as their own. The ladies taught Stabby everything he knew: from reading and writing to working the cash register at the 24 hour Bacon Buffet (Except during Lent, when it was turned into a Fish Fry Bar). Stabby grew up without a name until age 5, when he took the sharp end of a crucifix and stabbed a John at the club who shortchanged the most beautiful dancer at the club: Angel Magdaline; earning his namesake in the process.
 

 
               From that moment on, Stabby was taught how to be a bouncer. Just as Stabby’s mothers took care of him as a baby, he took care of the dancers. His mothers quickly learned of Stabby’s penchant for Stabbing, and nurtured him into a man who knew when to take the knife into his own hands.
 
               “I was protecting my family.” Stabby confidently stated. “I learned from a young age that the world is a harsh place, and I had to grow up pretty fast. My mothers were the most caring people in my life, and I was lucky to use my talents in a way that helped them put bread on the table and support our little family.”
 
               With Stabby’s strange upbringing, it comes as no surprise that he failed out of the 3rd grade three times. Stabby was still allowed to continue his education, but that privilege was quickly revoked when he stabbed the son of a John who dumped one of his mothers just the day before. (Literal dump, in Canada. With no passport. He also shit on her chest and didn’t pay for it.) While Stabby will go to the grave justifying his actions, the School Board would never let him within 1000 feet of a school building for the rest of his life.
 

 
               Stabby turned full time to working the club. He learned valuable life lessons during his tenure at Vatican City XXX: including hard work, integrity, and how to pierce a John’s side vein so hard that he would need Viagra to get it past half chubbs ever again. Stabby was happy at the club; he was needed, he was smarter than anyone else in the building, and he truly felt like he had a home.
 
A DARK TIME INDEED
 
               As all good times must come to an end, so did Stabby’s time at Vatican City XXX. While making a run for jalapeno chips on the day before his 18th birthday, he came back to find the entire club set ablaze. Through what most would call a holy fire or divine intervention (but was actually Tammy’s mistake for trying to up her showmanship with pyrotechnics bought (read: stolen) from the abandoned fireworks factory upstate mixed with an unholy amount of bacon grease saved for Tammy’s estranged boyfriend, Big Pig Rick. Fuckin’ Tammy.), Stabby was left with no home, no family and nowhere else to turn.
 

 
               “I lived there all my life and never got to truly experience what made Vatican City XXX truly great. It . . . I’m sorry. I just . . . I can’t believe it all had to end like that.”
 
               Stabby took odd jobs to make ends meet. He stabbed people for money, he stabbed people for food. He even stabbed someone for half a lobster roll that someone sneezed into. Stabby was forced to turn to his training to simply survive in the harsh world he looked to protect others from. Stabby was alone.
 

 
THE HOLY RINK
 
               One day, Stabby came across what we in the stabbin’ business like to call a Whale. The frail, old man was carrying heavy, black bags outside of an abandoned warehouse when Stabby looked to do the only thing he knew how to do. Stabby approached the man and went in for the first blow when the man screamed bloody mary, errm, I mean murder. Bloody Mary was actually a dancer at the club and I don’t feel comfortable talking about how she earned her name. But he screamed bloody murder.
 
               “Don’t do this… I can help,” the man pleaded. “I know you’ve had a rough life, but you can stab people for money, for power, for fame. Just… give me a chance.”
 
               Stabby, in a move that surprised literally no one, decided to stab him anyway. However, since Stabby needed contact lenses and could never get them in (see the stabbing), he missed and struck open the bag. Inside there were hockey skates, pucks, and sticks. He reached down to pick up what he thought was a lobster roll when he grabbed gloves.
 
               “What are these?” Stabby asked.
 
               “The key to your future.” The man replied.
 

 
               Stabby spared the man and he took him inside the abandoned warehouse. Inside there was half of a hockey rink and a Quiznos that somehow hadn’t closed yet. Stabby became the apprentice to the old man; learning how to skate, how to hit, and most importantly, how to fight. Stabby lived on a cot in the corner of the rink and practiced every single day. The old man would come out and teach Stabby the fundamentals, from slew-footing, stick slinging and the occasional jumping hit to target the head. Stabby was a force to be reckoned with, and his natural ability for stabbing was a catalyst for playing angles and delivering deadly blows. He was going to be a legend, the old man just knew it.
 
THE END OF THE ICE, THE BEGINNING OF… NEW ICE
 
               Stabby woke up one morning and the old man was nowhere to be found. Stabby had grown accustomed to the sound of his skates on the ice to wake him for practice, but today was different. Stabby looked throughout the rink: in the stands, behind the pin-ups, at the Quiznos (“NO I DON’T WANNA TRY THE PESTO CEASAR ON PRETZEL BREAD; THAT’S FUCKING DISGUSTING). The old man was nowhere to be found.
 

 
               Stabby stepped outside for a smoke when he saw him: keeled over in front of his station wagon and gasping for air. Stabby ran to his side.
 
               “DON’T STAB ME,” the man screamed.
 
               “I won’t. Not this time,” Stabby recalled.
 
               The man was on his last leg. Stabby could tell that an ambulance would never be there in time, and the Quiznos employee’s CPR training was worthless because he just smoked weed with the dummy the whole time.
 
               “You’re gonna be a legend, kid. I put your name in for the VHLM draft. Do there what you’ve been working on for so long, and make me proud.”
 
               “But… I… I don’t. I can’t. I’m a fighter, not a player,” Stabby cried out.
 
               “Then just take as many of them down as you can. You’ll make it, I believe in you.”
 
               The old man was quickly heading towards the light. Stabby was in shock, but came to a quick realization.
 
               “What’s your name? I’ve known you for so long but I don’t know your name. SPEAK TO ME OLD MAN!”
 
               “The name’s Ted,” he said with his final breath.
 
               “Ted Lindsay.”
 

 
TODAY
 
               Stabby vowed to make his mentor proud. Through a season and a half in the VHLM, Stabby has shown that he can not only fight, but play a mean game that is vital for success in the VHL. After going undrafted, Stabby signed with the Calgary Wranglers and hopes to one day make it to the big club to show to the world that Mr. Lindsay was right: that he will one day become a legend.
 

 
WORD COUNT: 1425

Overview 2/2 Yup, all the info needed was there
 
Pros & Cons 3/3 Great, look forward to seeing how a goon does.
 
Grammar 2/2 Not much to find
 
gonna - going to
 
Presentation 1/1 Looks good
 
Overall 8/8

I mean, I am fullo'schmidt.

McFullO’Schmidt Signs with Calgary
by Dick Shivers
 

 
Stabby McFullO’Schmidt’s career looks like it’s starting to turn around. Shortly after waking up from his coma, the Calgary Wranglers have signed the undrafted defenseman to a 3 ELC deal worth 5 million.
 

 
Stabby is a player who’s, frankly, not very good. He’s had a rough past and didn’t impress too many people at the S44 Draft Combine. When he was left alone in the player pool after the draft had concluded, he drank himself silly and punched himself into a coma, which lasted approximately 2 months.
 

 
“I hit rock bottom.” Stabby admitted. “I didn’t know what else to do with my life and felt that it would be best to punch out my rage, since I couldn’t do it on the ice anymore.”
 
Since waking up, Stabby has gone on a tear in for the league-leading Bratislava Watchmen in the VMHL, posting 3 assists and a +7 rating through 8 games with the club.
 

 
“He’s got a new sense of purpose; a stronger focus and better perspective on his career,” teammate Simon Valmount remarked. “I can’t wait to see him in the big league, because if he keeps it up . . . he will surely make it.”
 
After putting pen to paper, I had a chance to ask Stabby why he decided to sign with Calgary:
“Tim Tebowgow and Chuck Goody both reached out to me and have been huge pillars of support since recovering.” Stabby said to reporters at the signing press conference. “Calgary is a young team and they are devoted to developing my skills to their full potential . . . I know we don’t look like much now, but get ready VHL, we’re coming.”
 

 
The 7’0”, 300lb defenseman will stay with Bratislava this season; as their hopes of lifting the cup seem high in the early-going. The blue-liner didn’t see much time in his first season, but hopes that a year in the minors will help his recovery and strengthen his game as he anxiously awaits the trans-Atlantic flight to take him to Calgary.
 
“I heard it’s cold there,” Stabby joked. “It’s not going to deter me from dropping the gloves, though.” 
 
Stabby is signed with the Wranglers through season 45. Here are the details:
 
 

Didn't know there was a minimum. We'll get that 6/6 soon enough!
 
Thanks for your hard work!