Taurus

currently intoxicated

Kewl Runnings Ottawa Lynx http://www.vhlforum.com/index.php?/topic/17159-lw-kewl-runnings/#entry182071

The Taurus player agency has possibly been the absolutely worse player agency in the history of Hockey. At least, the most unfortunate. Two players have been signed on to the player agency in the last five years, both bright, highly coveted players. Both stocky defensemen, Ryan Barrett and Dyemond Fondalear were ready to take the league by storm. Until, everyone's most hated enemy came and did it's best to ruin these two's bright careers. That enemy was life. Let's look back on these two extremely unfortunate situations. Ryan Barrett was a mean and gritty defensemen out of Ireland. He, for lack of better words, "didn't take no shit." and a lot of coaches liked that. He played with an intensity and some professional players don't have today and he lost a few teeth because of it. Things were bright for this defensemen, until he was arrested in his Los Angeles home for running an underground fighting ring. It's not much of a surprise, most of Barrett's time was spent in the penalty box after beating the hell out of the other teams winger, center, defensemen or even goalie. Ryan Barrett is still incarcerated and will likely not have any type of future in professional hockey. Dyemond Fondalear wasn't as well-known as Barrett was, but after he signed onto Taurus Player Agency, his stock rose quickly. With the Agency supporting such a circus act/ticket seller in Barrett, coaches were intrigued to see what was off about Dyemond, to find what screw was lose. This defensemen wasn't like Barrett at all, much more calm and composed. He was labeled by some, a silent assassin and rarely talked trash on the ice. When it came time to be drafted into the minors however, Fondalear vanished. He has yet to be found and is rumored to be living somewhere between Canada and Mexico. T.T. Taurus, the owner of Taurus Player Agency, sat in a bar, alone, fearing that his company would never find that it player. Then, he looked across the bar and saw a small, old TV and tapes that someone was showing another Hockey fan in the bar. This kid was amazing, his skating looked simple and his scoring was phenomenal. This was the player he needed. He asked who the player was and the drunken man told him to go to "Uhhhhh, Bri-bristol, England." Taurus made his way to Bristol as fast as he could, searching the streets and all the local schools to find this player he'd watched with a buzz in a bar back home. He searched and searched and then when all hope was lost and he had pretty much given up, he'd found the player. The messiah. "What's that kids name." Taurus asked a spectator, and they responded, "Kewl Runnings."

thought i would make one more attempt at getting into this league.

r.i.p. Recreating for obvious reasons

This is a long one, but this is about my first experience on a College Campus when vodka and beer was involved. I didn't start drinking until the summer before my Junior year of high school. I became close with these kids that graduated at the end of my Sophomore year. I live in the Louisville area, and somehow, we got into a University of Louisville fraternity party. At this point in time, my friends my age had never hung out with my older friends, but I brought them along for the ride. The only problem is that I looked alot older than I actually was. But my friends didn't, infact, we often joked about them looking twelve. Anyways, my friends are so happy that they get invited to this shit and im just like whatever I get drunk and high with college kids every weekend. I let them do their thing, I mean, I just upgraded their night from a bottle of kamchatkra to fucking keg stands and bong rips. Before we even leave I cna already tell this night was gonna be bad, the youngest of my friends, who is often called a metrosexual, acts like he know's everything there is to know and I let him think he does. All my friends are wearing Ralph Lauren, and this dude starts losing his shit. "College kids don't wear Ralph, you're gonna get us fucking booted out of the party." He obviously didn't know what the fuck he was talking about, after a thirty minute car ride with way too many people in the car, we get to this random ass house in the middle of Louisville, about two miles away from campus. Remember this, because it's important. We knock on the door and this swoll motherfucker opens the door and is like who the fuck are you, and we say we know Drex, the friend that my friend knew that went to UofL. Before I go on any farther, my friends that invited me weren't there yet and the only other kid old enough to even be in college, decided not to go at the last minute and dumped us off at this party. Back to the story, this guy obviously didn't give a fuck, cause he let us in. This motherfucker was packed. What's the first thing we all notice in our dress shirts, that every motherfucker in the room has on ralph. We all look at Tanner like, fuck you metrosexual. I pretty sure it was rush week when we went, there was like 4 beer pong games going and so many chicks, the chicks bros, even the ugliest were fine. So here we are, Taurus (HS Junior), Sam (HS Junior), Tommy (12 y/o HS Junior), Joshua (HS Sophomore) and Tanner (HS Junior), sitting in the back of this frat house watching beer pong games. Finally Sam gets the balls to play pong and she makes me be her partner. While we're playing, my friends Tommy and Tanner get in on this game on a smaller table. Sam and I lose, so we go and start meeting people. This is where SAm fucked up. This college kid asks her if she is rushing and she doesn't know what the fuck it means. She blamed it on being drunk. Which honestly, at this time everyone was drunk besides myself and Josh. Tommy and Tanner win four games in a row. I guess these frats guys got suspicous cause we didn't have Cardinal ID's or thye were just pissed they were losing to twelve year olds, because at this point I'm tryna go outside and smoke and Tommy is yelling for me saying he got kicked out. So I'm tryna hurry up and get out this house before these frat guys kick our asses, I turn the door knob and it falls out of the fucking door. I look at this clone in Ralph and shrug and get outside. I get out there, and none of my fucking friends are outside, they are all inside trying to find me I guess. I go to the door and I hear these motherfuckers yelling about who broke the door. So you know I was about getting my ass beat, I booked. I came back and Sam and my friends were all outside, as we are leaving, we hear people saying "The 12 year olds are leaving". So here's where the story get's really bad for me, we have to walk to Campus, cause we're gonna go chill at Drex's dorm instead of finding a ride back home. Remember how I said it was two miles away, sure that's not a long walk, when you aren't trying to keep drunk motherfuckers from falling on their ass. To make matters worse, the person with directions was a fucking dumbass and let us go half a mile in the wrong direction.a So after like an hour we get to this campus and this motherfucker is beautiful, I'm like, shit I'm going to UofL fuck Indiana. We get in Drex's dorm room and there is some girls, a shitload of pizza, a dude with a worse mouth than a hockey player and a gay guy. We stole a bottle of Kamchatkra from the frat party cause fuck those guys. It's probably like, one AM, way past curfew or whatever in this dorm but we don't give a fuck, we got the speakers on a hunned listening to Meek Mill fuck the dorm. So I finally get to drink a little bit, I drink alot, get drunk, play some 2k, get my ass beat in it, you know the usual. Well then Drex yells out the window at this dude to come up to the room and I could tell he was bout bidness, cause he was about 7'0", had three white girls with him and some lil ass O'Dog looking motherfucker. Well this dude comes up in the room, he tries to take all our alcholol. Well then Tanner, tries to argue with this dude, keep in mind, Tanner is only like, 5 feet tall. He tries to take the bottle back from 7'0" guy and he's just like "Whiteboy I'm tall enough to be your daddy" and then leaves. That turned out to be a blessing in disguise, because then about 20 minutes later, the RA shows up and tells us we have to quiet down. After he has to tell this hoe to stop smoking cigs and this drunk dude stops telling him is nametag is upside down, he leaves and we shut the fuck up. After the RA leaves, my friends that are in college finally show up and they bring like four blunts, so me, tommy and these college kids go in smoke, its fun, we get high as fuck. We get back, we eat the pizza that I saw when I came in at first and then we go to go to sleep. Well me, Tanner and Amber (college friend that I kinda had a thing for at the time) have to sleep on the floor. With one blanket, so you can only imagine how it turned out with two people high as fuck and then Tanner blackout drunk. This blanket was made for one person and it's freezing in the dorm, so we like have some weird ass wrap around eachother type of thing, idk we were high. Then Katie comes in to sleep so I just say fuck the blanket and cuddle with her. We lay there for like thirty minutes and then I hear what sounds like rain drops and shit so I look back to see out the window if its raining and there i see this metrosexual drunk motherfucker that looks twelve making out with this college kid. I'm high, I give a fuck, but then again I don't. But these motherfuckers go at it all night and basically I don't sleep. Amber ends up taking tanner, tommy and josh home and I stay in this dorm with Drex. My friend Sam stays with me and we just chill. Then these random ass dudes come in, Jarrod and Storch. Storch looks like two face, he has a fucking road burn on his face so big, I started his new nickname, scratch. Anyways, this dorm had balconys for people to "chill on" and "not smoke cigarettes" at, but you kno we were drinking. Well Scratch is still drunk from the night before. He takes this 40 oz on this table and throws it four stories down into a empty dorm plaza courtyard thing. Idk, I thought that was funny. If I wasted your time, im sorry. All we did for the rest of that morning was chill with Jarrod and play fifa and talk about coming back later that day and smokin dabs and shit. but when we got back to the dorm the next day, they were checking ID's waaayyy harder than the night before, so I couldn't get in. The end.

SBA is a great league. Unlike people that have run Basketball Sim Leagues in the past, Shane is very committed. Up until recently he basically took all of the work load of the league on himself other than simming, while going to college full time and working. While SBA started as basically a rip-off of the EBA, I think this is a great league to join if you're looking for stability and want to know that your time will not be wasted. I haven't been the most active in any of the leagues I've joined, but it's nice to know that I am welcomed back with open arms when I do find the time for sim leagues. This league has gone through thick and thin to be honest. A couple seasons ago there was barely any activity and I felt that the league would likely be closing because of it. Shane proved me wrong. The SBA is a simple league that is meant to have fun. I've never seen them be "rash" in any type of way unless the person they are being "rash" to is causing problems in the league.

2, Claim

LOOOOOOOOOOOL

Holy cow, thanks man. It's great!

what

As usual, there was a few players to announce that they would be entering the VHLM this season past the deadline that they could be signed before the playoffs, many young prospects either wait another season or announce their eligibilty before Ryan Barrett did. Barrett declared his eligibilty a DAY after the deadline for VHLM teams to pick up players, but Barrett doesn't mind it. "I really don't mind not playing in the playoffs, it just gives me more time to train to the Minors. Not that I need it, but I gotta stay up to par with my competition, don't want the lads back home to get all excited and not watch me go on the ice and break some bones." Despite preparing to become a member of the league, Barrett says he doesn't know much about the VHL. "I really don't know that much about the VHL, other than it's a hockey league, and the best competition in the world is in it. Especially when I get in the league, it will definitely be the most entertaining thing to watch." Barrett has been known for his temper issues in the youth competitions. Despite him spending alot of his time in the penalty box, Barrett doesn't feel that he has any temper issues. "I play hockey how it's meant to be played, don't get on the ice with me if you don't want to get hit laddie. I put my heart and soul into Hockey and I'm going to do what it takes to win every game for my team. If you call that temper issues, I don't know what to say to you." It's hard to point out Ryan's weaknesses due to the weaker competition he's played throughout the years compared to the rest of the incoming prospects, but don't worry, according to the Irish Bulldozer, he has no weaknesses. "I don't have any weaknesses. This is Hockey, I'm a defender. Can I skate? Yes. Can I hit? Definitely. Can I protect my goal? Duh. You're thinking about it too much. I do everything well. My only weakness, if anything, is my age, I should be in the VHL by now lad!" Barrett is apart of an OKAY draft class and when asked where he thinks he should be drafted and why he deserves to be drafted more than others, he said... "1st overall, definitely. I'm gonna be the biggest asset to any team in the minors and isn't it obvious why I'm better? I'm 245 pounds of straight muscle lad, I'm quick, there's not much anyone can do on the ice when you have a bulldozer coming towards you. If a team wants me, they can have me. They'll know what I'll bring night in and night out, a fierce and emotional game." Before we could ask Barrett anything else, he got tied up on a phone call and had to leave the interview. It's obvious that Ryan Barrett has alot of growing up do before he can begin to play with a VHL team.

Pictured above is the young Irish defender who has been on every professional hockey team's radar since he exploded onto the international scene after he showcased his elite ability to defend. Ryan Barrett announced today that he would be joining the Victory Hockey League Minors this upcoming season. Dubbed the "Irish Bulldozer", Barrett is known for his violent defensive style, he loves contact and makes sure the opposing team knows that. Barrett lead Ireland's u18 team in hits last season and hopes to bring his fierce game to the Victory Hockey League Minors. Barrett has a few drawbacks to his game, one of which is his attitude. If you thought he was one of those people who can go on the ice and make the ice feel like hell on earth for the opposing team and then get off the ice and be a loving, caring person, you were definitely wrong. Barrett has a horrible temper and odds are he'll be causing alot of drama in the VHL, on and off the ice. If Barrett is able to control his temper and can become a good team player, there's no reason why he shouldn't have a successful career in the VHL More on Barrett in the near future.